Muppets Crucified After Goldman Closes One Of Its "Top Trades For 2014" At A 13.5% Loss Less Than A Week Into 2014

Tyler Durden's picture

That didn't take long.

On December 2, in its fourth Top Trade recommendation of the year, Goldman urged its clients to go "Long China Stocks, Short Copper." This is how we decribed the trade: "Goldman is selling China equities (via the HSCWI Index), while buying copper (via Dec 2014 futs), or at least advising its flow clients to do the opposite while admitting that "for the long China equity/short commodity pair trade to “work” best, these two assets, which are usually positively correlated, will have to move in opposite directions." For that and many other reasons why betting on a divergence of two very closely correlating assets will lead to suffering, read on. Finally - do as Goldman says, or as it does? That is the eternal question, one whose answer is a tad more problematic since the author in this case is not Tom Stolper but Noah Weisberger." One week into the new year we have the answer.

Yesterday, less than one week into the new year, Goldman closed this "Top Trade for 2014" following a loss of 13.5%. Actually, correction: 13.5% loss to "clients" means a 13.5% profit to Goldman, and all those who followed our advice to trade alongside Goldman, not as a counterparty.

To wit:

Close long HSCEI Index and short Copper Dec 14 LME future, opened at 0.0% (on return basis, corresponding to respective price levels of 11542.1 and 7064.5 in two instruments) on 02 Dec 2013, for a potential loss of -13.5%.

So, as always, losers: Goldman clients. Winners: Goldman's "flow" desk which took the opposite side of the trades, very much as we expected.

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Sudden Debt's picture

Your banker, your friend!

superflex's picture

I hope they provide anal lube

synergize's picture

Hmmm I wonder how that "Slam-Dunk Sell" gold trade will work out... I guess we'll have to assume that GS is buying gold hand-over-fist

Scarlett's picture

They certanly are.  Read David Collum's year in review.

Muppets deserve what they get.

SafelyGraze's picture

a little help needed ..

image-search for "gilt" and "gilt edged security" turns up practically nothing

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yBlvEPgT4jQ/Twa-KMy4O4I/AAAAAAAAAQk/I1JKkh1pSY...

also, nothing on ebay

please upload your photos of gilts so we can enjoy remembering what they looked like

thank you,
her royal majestic 

101 years and counting's picture

slaying puppets in under 1 week?  someone just got a 5M bonus.

shepherd's picture

As if Zerohedge would report on a winning trade.

Blano's picture

Please share one with us, Lloyd.

shepherd's picture

Surely you are facetious.

Tyler Durden's picture

Here are all the "Top Trades" - only the loser has been closed.

1) Stay long SP 500 Dec 14 Future and (funded out of) short AUD/USD Dec 14 Future, opened at 1986.8 on 25 Nov 2013, with a target of 2250 and a stop on a close below 1855, currently at 2059.
2) Stay long EUR swap (EONIA) 5y rate and short 5y Treasuries, opened at yield differential of -61 (bps) on 26 Nov 2013, with a target of -130 and a stop on a close above -35, currently at -80.
3) Stay long USDCAD (on a spot basis), opened at 1.055 on 27 Nov 2013, with a target of 1.14 and a stop on a close below 1.01, currently at 1.062.
4) Close long HSCEI Index and short Copper Dec 14 LME future, opened at 0.0% (on return basis, corresponding to respective price levels of 11542.1 and 7064.5 in two instruments) on 02 Dec 2013, for a potential loss of -13.5%.
5) Stay long risk (selling protection) on the 7-year CDX IG Series 21 junior mezzanine tranche (the 3-7% portion of the loss distribution), opened at 465 (on a running spread basis) on 03 Dec 2013, with a target of 395 and a stop on a close above 585, currently at 410.
6) Stay long basket in large-cap bank indices in the US, Europe, and Japan, implemented via equal parts of BKX, SX7E, and TPNBNK indices, opened at 100 on 04 Dec 2013, with a target of 120 and a stop on a close below 90, currently at 104.1

Rafferty's picture

How anyone takes investment advice from the Squid baffles me.  Apart from being sociopathetic crooks, they're massively engaged in trading themselves, therefore hopelessly compromised. Do investors really think they're getting honest advice from what is in effect their competitor in the market?

yrbmegr's picture

So, is it fair to assume GS is currently underwater with the rest of the top trades?

ZH Snob's picture

wow, what a setup.  goldman essentially defrauds its customers by feeding them the complete opposite of their true estimation of these investments then lines them up to play counter party to their personal corporate trade.

how is this legal and why do they still have customers?

shepherd's picture

If you really believe this, then always do the opposite of what Goldman says and you'll be rich.

 

Easy, but you won't do it.

Tyler Durden's picture

Actually Zero Hedge, and many readers here, has done the opposite of what Goldman's Tom Stolper has recommended for the past 4 years without exception, has profited on 25 of 29 occasions, and is up over 12,000 pips.

So yeah, we will do it.

pirea's picture

You must be good to do this and still have so many clients

WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Lay with dogs, wake up with fleas.  Or sumthin.

Silver_K-9's picture

What is Goldmans  call for Gold?!

Rockatanski's picture

so that means they think gold is going up? do the opposite of what they say....got it.

 

edit; physical that is.

 

krispkritter's picture

If one of us 'average' serfs tried this, we'd be in Club Fed for years and lose everything to lawsuits and fines.  These pricks just get bigger bonuses. No justice, Just Us.

Spungo's picture

Are people retarded? If Goldman is good at this, wouldn't it make sense to buy their stock?

Scarlett's picture

nope, because all the money goes into bonuses.

Dr. Engali's picture

Who cares? The important thing is the muppets can go to dinner parties and say "I'm with Goldman". After all status is what's important here.

Blano's picture

"That didn't take long."

Literally my first thought to the word and letter when I saw the headline.

pragmatic hobo's picture

that's just the cue I needed to short copper.

Fire Angel's picture

You had me at "Muppets Crucified" in the headline. Thanks, Tyler(s)!!! 

Fire Angel 

Ban KKiller's picture

Wall Street? Not rigged. Totally honest. I mean look at the big eight accounting firms. What? Down to four? Oh...three? 

Books cooked at a discount...hire a Wall Street accounting firm!  JP Madoff Inc. is for hire!

 

Itch's picture

Something to do with all that copper they had stacked i suppose...wait until they put out a buy aluminium call and then bet the house. They have shed (no pun) loads.

disabledvet's picture

yeah well when you have a trillion in debt to pay down on your Glencore/Xstrata deal you do what you have to do. Nice sell order on Cliff's natural resources too. "Just in time for India to drop production by 100 million tons of ore." Do your homework sheeple. Production is surging in base metal production in North and South America. So is energy production in the form of distillates I might add.

ZeroPoint's picture

How does Goldman Sachs still have clients?

ForWhomTheTollBuilds's picture

Well, that was a slam-dunk if I ever saw one

Colonel Klink's picture

Anyone that hasn't figured out doing business with large banks and hedge funds is dangerous, deserves whatever they get.

Bend over muppets!

http://fwtc.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/kermit-noooo.jpg

RaceToTheBottom's picture

GS will profit as long as the world continues to provide a limitless supply of Muppets

BadDog's picture

A barrel with no bottom, full of suckers.

vincent's picture

Muppets must have jobs to invest in Markets /Funds/IRA's and 401's.

 

Mad Muppet's picture

Trade with Goldman, wake up with no gold, man.

Loucleve's picture

I love the way Tyler "puts things".

Muppets crucified.  Just has a nice ring to it.

zipit's picture

Can we get a Muppts vs. Goldman scoreboard on ZH home page, please?  Thank you.

smcapmachine's picture

Zero hedge just renamed themselves subzero hedge, since 90% of their readers have negative returns over the past 3 years. Damn the day you discovered the site.