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E-Trade Denying Users Login Access 30 Minutes Ahead Of Fed Minutes

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It appears that E-Trade has some log-in issues with its website, since for the past 15 minutes anyone who tries to log into their account, gets the following error screen.

As of this posting, it is unclear if the access denied this is a bug, a hack, or simply a test of the emergency preparedness system for when everyone tries to log in to sell... and just can't log in.

Whatever the reason, being unable to log into one of the widest used discount brokers 30 minutes ahead of the most important news event of the day is hardly good marketing.

Finally, there is always the possibility that this is merely a grand rehearsal for the release of Obama*Trade.

 

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Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:27 | 4312204 RacerX
RacerX's picture

"What to do next?". Classic. Jump??

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:31 | 4312225 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

I can log in.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:40 | 4312266 Landrew
Landrew's picture

Read the story, ON THE DAY OF 30 minutes BEFORE FED ! I can log in now too, but, not for long if you catch the drift!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:45 | 4312290 Manthong
Manthong's picture

The important thing is to be logged on so that you can beat the exchange co-located quant controlled HFT servers that got the information minutes prior to the time that it was released.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:50 | 4312322 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I logged in a little bit ago and sold 3 trillion tons of gold.  I really meant 3 ounces but when I went to undo the trade I got a message saying that function isn't allowed for muppets only muppet masters.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:20 | 4312479 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'm going to have to assume this was what fedgov meant when they said they were ending data lockups.

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-01-02/government-set-end-data-lockups...

You know, fair and all that.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:41 | 4312556 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

How do you like your market order?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:45 | 4312297 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

"If you go into a room and you do not know who the 'Mark' is... You are the Mark".

Apparently, Etrade members (and by fiat, everyone else) are the Mark? no?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:19 | 4312458 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

"If you're in a poker game, and after 20 minutes you haven't figured out who the chump is, then you're the chump"

............Warren Buffet

"You can't out think a man who isn't thinkin'"

............Doyle Brunson

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:51 | 4312329 webbie
webbie's picture

I just tried and I am UNABLE to login...oh well I haven't traded equities in years, now back to FX and Crypto trading...

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:53 | 4312340 BillyTheBlade
BillyTheBlade's picture

I cannot.  'eff 'em.  They lost a customer.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:15 | 4312873 rocker
rocker's picture

Scottrade had the same problem this morning.  Although, if you are using their home system that is NOT cloud based.  Your In.

So Much for the new cloud agenda.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:32 | 4312949 fedupwhiteguy
fedupwhiteguy's picture

well at least i made one good decision in 2013. i liquidated everything and moved my duckets out a few weeks ago.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:47 | 4313017 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

"Glitch"?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:29 | 4312209 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

I'm in just fine, been all day.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:37 | 4312261 max2205
max2205's picture

Mine is dead....thanks I was wondering wtf!

We must be going up right?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:29 | 4312211 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

The on-line equivalent of an empty ATM.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:29 | 4312214 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Yellen:  No more QE, EVER!  BWAHAHAHHAAAAA!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:30 | 4312217 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

At this point, you're playing chicken if youre not out.  

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:33 | 4312236 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Bingo.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:27 | 4312505 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

Are you with the NSA? How did you know I was playing with my chicken?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:24 | 4313161 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

You are assumed to be playing with your chicken until you can prove youre not. 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:30 | 4312223 Bennie Noakes
Bennie Noakes's picture

Be reasonable! How can a brokerage frontrun its clients if it allows them to login before important announcements?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:31 | 4312224 Phat Stax
Phat Stax's picture

Srsly.  WTF?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:33 | 4312238 maskone909
maskone909's picture

i heard scottrade was all fuxx0red up today too

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:49 | 4312317 Dr. Venkman
Dr. Venkman's picture

yup, down for an hour at the open.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:51 | 4312326 SIOP
SIOP's picture

I couldn't get into Scottrade for a while this morning.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:35 | 4312242 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

PEOPLE PLEASE!!

LET THE INSIDERS WHO NEED TO BUY AND SELL GO FIRST IN A ORDERLY FASHION!!!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:35 | 4312247 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

ETrade baby says:  "Oh, you can't log in?  This is my shocked face."

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:35 | 4312249 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

Bank run? Not online.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:36 | 4312252 giorgioorwell
giorgioorwell's picture

Can't log in either...

Does Tyler use E-trade??

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:47 | 4312306 maskone909
maskone909's picture

thats why i use Mega-trader.

fuckin hellicopter bra.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:48 | 4312315 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

I'd respect the man that said Charles River with Oasys for clearing.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:36 | 4312256 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

thank god my trading platform is made by europeans....

like they say...

never trust a online american plaform when a login is required... just saying...

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:37 | 4312262 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"If you like your money, you can keep your money--if you can log in, that is."

 

The banksters'/Corzine creed: "The money in your account is yours, however the account is ours."

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:37 | 4312263 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

this has to be good for business

 

FAWK!!!!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:39 | 4312273 Musashi Miyamoto
Musashi Miyamoto's picture

UNTAPER BITCHEZ!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:40 | 4312278 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

smith barney makes money the old fashioned way ...'we steal it'

remember these brokerages?????

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:42 | 4312284 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Update, just got knocked off, can't get back in...

Apologies, but we cannot find that page.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:58 | 4312363 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

How in the world can they lose a web page? Did the dog eat it? Did they log onto Yahoo Europe recently and get some malware? Was the disk spinning too fast and all the zeros rolled off, leaving only ones?

If they send me all their disks, I'll find the web page for them. 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:44 | 4312295 Phat Stax
Phat Stax's picture

My guess this is a hack.  They have been through most "routine" blips before...

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:47 | 4312307 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

what are the so afraid of? an e-trade baby can bring down all of western finance now

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:52 | 4312334 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Doubt the baby did it but I've always been suspicious of the dog.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:48 | 4312311 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

NSA modifications in progress.  Please stand by.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:53 | 4312344 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Exactly.  NSA lost their tracking ability due to new eTrade updates so the NSA hit it with a denial attack until they figure out a way back in.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:52 | 4312331 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture
E-Trade Denying Users Login Access 30 Minutes Ahead Of Fed Minutes

 

Must be the really big orders come over the phone!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:00 | 4312368 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Maybe someone wanted to buy some e-gold. Can't have that now, can we? Sell side okay, buy side not allowed.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:55 | 4312353 keninla
keninla's picture

ObamaTrade

 

If you like your money I can keep your money.

 

 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 14:57 | 4312359 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

The other day, Optionshouse was out from 9:30 am to 2:54 pm on a Friday weekly options expiration day.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:00 | 4312369 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Don't worry - it's just a preview for the great bail-in that will happen in the US.  All brokerage accounts and banks will turn off their on-line access, brick-and-mortar banks will have a 'closed' sign hanging on the door, ATMs will limit you to $100 a day to withdraw, and meanwhile --- The Fed, Wall Street, the big banks, and all of their cronies will be transferring their 'wealth' out of the country.  Once they are done doing that, the government will announce that you will be able to trade you old Federal Reserve Notes for new 'Obama notes' on a 10-to-1 basis.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:01 | 4312374 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Those new issues would more properly be called Zero-notes, indicating their true value.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 16:08 | 4312645 optimator
optimator's picture

Exactly.  Only the "When" is unknown.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 19:57 | 4313462 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

10 to 1, my, aren't you the optimist.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:04 | 4312390 22winmag
22winmag's picture

As long as the peasants are held at bay, the royalty will play.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:15 | 4312454 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

BUY MORE STAWKS HOES!!!!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:18 | 4312469 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

what a farce

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:19 | 4312472 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Can't wait to see what Nanex shows unless someone managed to jam them also.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 15:25 | 4312499 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

FYI as of 225 est i was able to log on via my smartphone app ...

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 16:10 | 4312648 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

You have your money parked in this sham...why?
You're just asking to be Corzined.
Fuck. That.
I'm done with it.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:38 | 4312976 zipit
zipit's picture

Yes, it's a dry run and taste of what's to come. They will not be there when you need them, to buy or sell or do anything.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:23 | 4313160 chump666
chump666's picture

Saxo and Rand baby...

rest my f*cking case

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