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Wednesday Humor: Radiation-Free Snow For Sale

Tyler Durden's picture




 

We are quietly confident that the gentleman selling the 'radiation-free' snow will be inundated with offers from Japanese winter sports enthusiasts (or perhaps even Sochi-ites)...

 

Via St.Louis Craigslist,

One pickup truck load of authentic St. Louis Missouri Snow for sale that "appears to be" *Radiation-free*!

This snow fell in St. Louis county during the greatest snowfall in St. Louis since 1982! Be the envy of your friends knowing that your snow is indeed *Radiation-free*!

One could store this pickup truck load of authentic radiation-free snow in cold storage and use it all year long!

Small Print: Unfortunately neither of these 2 commonly used detectors are useful in detecting the major isotopes from a nuclear meltdown, namely Iodine-131, Cesium 134, and Cesium 137.

 

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Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:33 | 4312952 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

8.0... he got the good stuff, maaaan!

 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:40 | 4312988 Stackers
Stackers's picture

And at $5 it's priced right too !!!

 

wonder if free unloading is included ?

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:01 | 4313079 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Storage is for problematic. Do not recommend to keep in same refrigerator as Cesium 137.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 21:34 | 4313810 old naughty
old naughty's picture

"some young guy" in China has the right idea?

Bottled Air

Who's leading who, wtf.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 04:56 | 4314643 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

reminds me of spaceballs :)

but you need to be a old fart like me to know that movie :) FANFREAKINGTASTIC!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:36 | 4312963 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

No thanks. I'm in the market for some yellow ( cake) snow.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 19:02 | 4313265 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Dreamed I was, an Eskimo...

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 05:00 | 4314646 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I can provide you snow with 50 shades of yellow snow. It all depends on what I had to drink last night so please provide your preverence in advance!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:53 | 4312978 666
666's picture

I prefer my snow well done.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:41 | 4312991 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    You know things are going South when a "glory hole" is in the back of a truck...  ;-D

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:43 | 4312997 centerline
centerline's picture

"watch out where the huskies go, don't you eat that yellow snow"

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:30 | 4313179 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

a lead filled snow shoe PEEK A BOO!

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:44 | 4312999 One And Only
One And Only's picture

I know a fed chairwoman who will buy it regardless of price, just attach a CUSIP to it.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:43 | 4313001 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

 

http://www.youtube.com/user/dutchsinse?feature=watch

i am sure youtubes mr haarp specialist dutchsince would not agree.

even low rad count snow is gonna have barium and many other heavy haarp tesla weapon metals in it.

we are now all fully electrical can you feel the charge suckers.

 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 19:00 | 4313261 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"we are now all fully electrical can you feel the charge suckers."

Very good Tony.

Can you say, resonant everything and psychotronic warfare using supposed NON-LETHAL weaponry? Good ol Dr. Nick Begich did extensive research all around this electrification for weaponized resonation of the human species.

http://www.amazon.com/Earth-Rising-Revolution-Toward-Thousand/dp/1890693...

Guess what happens when they warm up the GWEN and HAARP world-wide-sat-system to manipulate the brains of every being on the planet. Play us all a tune on some of those low vibrating hertz frequencies on every electronic device known to man. No escape from the unseen frequencies broadcast over all vectors of sound, and outside amplifications. Like the Eloi in the movie Time Machine. Calling the food in.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eloi

Why do you think they have been pounding the planet with chemtrails for the last few decades? Taking in DAILY all those heavy metals for TEN YEARS OR MORE does not make you an electrically resonant BREATHING being? Now add all that to the never gonna end radiation that is out of control in fukushima. Zot!

Crazy is...as completely crazy does.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:51 | 4313034 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

And the MSM's spin on all this if they ever decide to actually do a report.

There's something happening here
But what it is ain't exactly clear

Then is hushed tones so no one can here them

There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

...

http://www.turnerradionetwork.com/news/170-pat

January 4, 2014  6:41 PM EST -- (TRN http;//www.TurnerRadioNetwork.com ) -- Radiation alerts are issued for the following places in California, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona and Virginia:

...

Then you have this in the same time frame.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2535074/Radiation-readings-Misso...

Fukishima fall-out fears as DOUBLE the normal amount of radiation is found in Missouri snow and San Francisco beach busts safety levels prompting investigation
  • A San Francisco beach has five times the safe level fueling concerns over Fukushima's impact
  • The findings - reaching over 150 micro-REM per hour - prompted federal officials to launch an investigation
  • Officials said they were 'befuddled'
  •  Snow in Missouri has been found to contain double the normal radiation amount
  • In September, a BBC report said radiation readings around the Fukushima power plant were 18 times higher than previously reported

 

...

Full details in the article including people's youtube videos measuring radiation at these locations.

Then you got this

http://thedailynewsreport.com/2014/01/05/commentary/dead-sea-creatures-c...

 

The Pacific Ocean appears to be dying, according to a new study recently published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Scientists from the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute (MBARI) in California recently discovered that the number of dead sea creatures blanketing the floor of the Pacific is higher than it has ever been in the 24 years that monitoring has taken place, a phenomenon that the data suggests is a direct consequence of nuclear fallout from Fukushima.

Though the researchers involved with the work have been reluctant to pin Fukushima as a potential cause – National Geographic, which covered the study recently, did not even mention Fukushima — the timing of the discovery suggests that Fukushima is, perhaps, the cause. According to the data, this sudden explosion in so-called “sea snot,” which is the name given to the masses of dead sea creatures that sink to the ocean floor as food, has skyrocketed since the Fukushima incident occurred.

“In the 24 years of this study, the past two years have been the biggest amounts of this detritus by far,” stated Christine Huffard, a marine biologist at MBARI and leader of the study, to National Geographic.

At an ocean research station known as Station M, located 145 miles out to sea between the Californian cities of Santa Barbara and Monterey, Huffard and her colleague Ken Smith observed a sharp uptick in the amount of dead sea life drifting to the ocean floor. The masses of dead sea plankton, jellyfish, feces and other oceanic matter that typically only cover about 1 percent of the ocean floor were found to now be covering about 98 percent of it — and multiple other stations located throughout the Pacific have since reported similar figures.

 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:59 | 4313054 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

And of course the government and reporting agencies are not trying to cover this up by not reporting it either so why should the media be any different. It is a monkey see, monkey do type of world these days anyways.

http://www.turnerradionetwork.com/news/180-mjt

January 7, 2014 -- (TRN http://www.TurnerRadioNetwork.com ) -- The International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) has been caught agreeing in writing to conceal information from the world about the extent of danger, damage and health effects at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant disaster in Japan.  Turner Radio Network has obtained official copies of the agreements signed by the IAEA and the Fukui Prefectural Government as well as between the IAEA and Fukushima Medical University.  We have the agreements, now YOU have them too!

In an astonishing development in the ongoing disaster at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant in Japan, TRN has obtained official copies of agreements between the International Atomic Energy Agency and official entities in Japan, wherein the parties agree to conceal information from the public about the degree of damage, danger(s) and health effects on humans of the largest nuclear disaster in human history.

 

The first such agreement is signed on behalf of the Fukui Prefectural Government by Mr. Hiroyuki. Aratake, Director-General, Living and Environment Department. It is counter-signed on behalf of the IAEA by Mr. Denis Flory,  Deputy Director General,  Head of the Department of Nuclear Safety and Security.  This document lays out the reason for its existence and the scope of cooperation between the IAEA and Japan.

...

Yeah the governments and press are being free and open with the people here.

 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 19:06 | 4313275 BigJim
BigJim's picture

I guess that's the kind of info the Jap government's recent crackdown on whistleblowers was supposed to stop.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 21:14 | 4313678 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

You can't crack down on people doing their own readings then publicizing them afterwards for too long. You can only suppress something like that for only so long until the masses if they haven't died off turn against the government over shit like that. That they are even doing confidentiality agreements over that sort of thing just shows just how out of touch these government assclowns in Japan are with the rest of reality. You can't cover up radiation emissions unless you outlaw radiation emission reading gear.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:13 | 4313123 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Don't forget the two headed gray whales and other anomalies beginning to be seen.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2535206/Conjoined-whale-calves-d...

"A pair of conjoined gray whales has been found off the shore of Mexico, in what could be the first documented case of Siamese twin grey whales.

Scientists in Mexico's Laguna Ojo de Liebre, or Scammon’s Lagoon, discovered the dead calves, believed to have been miscarried as a result of their disability.

Conjoined twins have occurred in other species, notably fin, sei and minke whales, however, research has not found any published cases of conjoined gray whale twins."

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:14 | 4313129 forwardho
forwardho's picture

It starts when your always afraid...

Step out of line, the Man come, and take you away.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 17:53 | 4313056 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

I am willing to make an offer of .000001 bitcoin

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:29 | 4313176 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

I wonder why this was posted on Craigslist... could it be that just a short time ago someone else in St. Louis posted a video showing radioactive snow that had fallen in the area - at twice the normal radioactivity?  This smells of an attempt to distract and discredit.

Fact is, there are hightened levels of radioactivity falling all over the US from Fukushima.

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 23:14 | 4314108 Biff Malibu
Biff Malibu's picture

No attempt to distract and discredit my friend.  I know, because it was ME!  I'm an Original ZH'er from the old skool back in the day, I work at a facility that has access to simple radiologic testing equipment.  Thought it would be a fun experiment to see what I could find out, and then decided to have a little fun with it.  ZH-style!

Biff Malibu

 

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 18:51 | 4313237 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Just checked the weather forecast, by Friday he will be selling radiation-free water. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 02:03 | 4314508 Voodoochild
Voodoochild's picture

How about some radioactive food for lunch? ...

http://youtu.be/sWVbmXoOkEM

...

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 02:31 | 4314533 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Which geigertellers are those? I can't quite make out. Iodine-131, Cesium 134, and Cesium 137 have beta decay right? Can anybody recommend a geigerteller that can measure radiation from these isotopes? Any experience with the Soeks ones?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:30 | 4315559 Biff Malibu
Biff Malibu's picture

The big yellow dinosaur is a CDV 715 from the 1960's, the smaller electronic one is a miniradiac http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygtnroVkjlY  Neither one will work reliably for the particles from Fukushima, they are basically a false-sense of security device for public safety people (like me).

 

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