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Chris Christie Faces The 'Bridge-Gate' Music As US Attorney Opens Inquiry - Live Press Briefing

Tyler Durden's picture


New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has expressed how "outraged and deeply saddened" he is by the revelations that a lone-shooter in his team would close highway lanes to exact political retribution against anyone. In the tradition of the current White House, he saw/knew/heard nothing of course. Things just escalated a little more...


We can only hope that the 'briefing' includes a Q&A as the always fiery Christie will, we are sure, come out swinging.


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Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:52 | 4315376 Obchelli
Obchelli's picture

Bullish for stocks

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:57 | 4315412 machineh
machineh's picture

Of course.

But a U.S. attorney, investigating a former U.S. attorney?

Whatever happened to professional courtesy? ;-(

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:04 | 4315455 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Maybe this guy can team up with Rob Ford and they can tour together as Dumb and Dumber.

I am Chumbawamba.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:29 | 4315553 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Maybe they could tour as Fat and Fatter?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:41 | 4315619 holgerdanske
holgerdanske's picture

I find the man grotesque.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:58 | 4315711 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

What I find amusing is that this is NO different than all the time and money spent shutting down access to federal property during the sequester.

Just SOP.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:20 | 4315819 RKDS
RKDS's picture

It's OK because he has an "R" behind his name.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:03 | 4316028 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture


At least Rob Ford mostly did damages to just himself, while Christie did the damages to everyone but himself...

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:56 | 4315693 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

fat and fatist

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:58 | 4315417 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Never too early to start attacking a potential Republican presidential candidate.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:02 | 4315440 pods
pods's picture

This is just a warmup for next year when we find out that he was smoking crack in his office or paid a hooker to rectally feed him chicken wings.


Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:38 | 4315596 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Sorry Joe, Christie is no more a republicrat than Obummer.

They all just blend together after a while...


Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:54 | 4315684 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

All Statists look the same to me. Is that rayciss?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:58 | 4315709 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Eat a frickin' carrot, ya fat bastard!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:10 | 4315763 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

hookers and chicken wings

you've got a franchize idea


Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:49 | 4316174 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

But he has a greater chance at headlining the ticket as any other R's right now, and he really doesn't differ from the recent nominees.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:48 | 4315652 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Now why you gotta be so thick with the fake lefty/righty divide? They are ALL criminals!

Please go be dumb somewhere else.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:55 | 4315689 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

But only gummint can effectively produce/maintain roads! /sarc -off

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:08 | 4315766 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

If he were a dem, this wouldn't be a political issue.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:39 | 4315923 americanreality
americanreality's picture

Total bullshit. You don't screw with traffic.  That's a rule. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:38 | 4315907 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I predicted he would be taken out so the RINOs can push Jeb on us.  Christie is a RINO too but the uproar over this while the media gives Obama a pass on everything is a joke.   I do not watch TV or Hollywood shit because it is all full on spin and propaganda.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:34 | 4315580 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Bullish for Crispy Kreme Doughnuts.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:53 | 4315671 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Everything is bullish for stocks. Only thing that could perhaps disrupt stocks is if wolf rayet 104 finally sent its gamma burst towards earth or if the Yellowstone volcano ripped the US to pieces, but only maybe.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:52 | 4315378 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

I'm gonna stick my neck out and make a prediction:

"It wasn't me."  --  Gov. Christie

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:57 | 4315410 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Presidential material right there.  Cookie Thumper would do us all a favor and go the way of the dodo bird.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:58 | 4315418 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

"It wasn't me, it was the Warriors"

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:08 | 4315471 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

Warriors.... come out to play-aye.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:30 | 4315555 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Three bottles: [Clack, clack, clack, clack]

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:10 | 4315478 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

It was the video...

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:13 | 4315492 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

+55 for the Warriotrs reference...


"I just like doin' stuff like that".

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:15 | 4315503 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:38 | 4315594 nickels
nickels's picture

Hiring incompetent hitmen makes him an embarrassment to gangsters everywhere.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:34 | 4315892 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

'Twas Him

Person 2nd to the left from center even has the same physique, and this is from 142 years ago FFS.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:14 | 4316259 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

"It wasn't me, it was that fucking Corzine."

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:54 | 4315384 suteibu
suteibu's picture

I don't think Holder will make this one go away.  I have no basis for saying this...just a gut feeling.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:07 | 4315466 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Holder's still busy investigating himself over that scandal about...... ah, whatever it was- can't keep track of them there's so many.  Anyway, I've heard sources close to the matter expect him to indict himself shortly, contrart to popular belief.  He's taken a "get tough" approach, starting with himself.  

So, he's obviously very busy.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:40 | 4315610 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Thursday morning humor, good one!


Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:21 | 4316277 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Such a shame that AG Holder has to be distracted by a traffic-jam scandal which must be  diverting major resources from the investigation of his own DEA/Mexican-Mafia-gun-running scandal.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:54 | 4315386 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

He/she will get booted from the staff... and in 3 months quietly be appointed to head the transporation dept. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:55 | 4315394 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

He's as conservative as he is fit.  A very vindictive man.  Just a whiter, fatter version of Obama.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:27 | 4315542 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I'd like to see him elected in 2016 for no other reason than I think it's about damn time we had a president who really represents the people of this country, and by that I mean one who uses a scooter cart when he shops at Walmart. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:59 | 4315718 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and one who wastes no time fucking up our transportation systems

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:18 | 4315809 Blano
Blano's picture

Now THERE'S a visual!!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:55 | 4315398 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Holder does fuck all to stop black panthers from blocking voters, but chases this like a dog chasing a firet truck.


Fuck you Holder - rot in fucking hell you fucking nazi

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:58 | 4315419 tmosley
tmosley's picture

You've got partisan blinders on there, friend.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:24 | 4315540 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

not really - the "large one" hasn't even had time to scrub his balls in the shower this morning and that fucking rodent Holder is already "on it"


cockroach Holder is a nazi that needs a bullet

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 12:31 | 4315562 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Careful there chief...written statements like that will likely earn you a visit from some not-so-friendly gentlemen in sunglasses driving a few unmarked black Suburbans.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:17 | 4315806 Blano
Blano's picture

Inasmuch as I agree with your premise tm, he does have a point.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 11:56 | 4315399 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

this is the most absurd thing.


here we have a guy who possibly at worst caused people to be late to there locations in the closings of the bridges, yet ppl cant stop talking about it in the media.


yet when our asshole president covers up a terrorist attack in which 4 americans lost there lives, its pushed to the side and no one can question him.


fuck u obama!!!

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