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"Heartbroken" Christie "Surprised At Stupidity"; Apologizes; Fires Bunch Of Staff; "Crazy" To Think He'd Resign

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Governor Christie says he is "doing a lot of soul-searching," over the "callous indifference" displayed by his former campaign manager Bill Stepien (since asked to leave) and Chief of Staff Bridget Kelly (since fired). He was "disturbed by the tone and behavior and attitude" of the emails he saw (following his workout). The "heartbroken", "not a bully", Governor accepted responsibility for his staff's actions and is embarrased and humiliated... but "it's crazy man" to think he would resign...

Via The Hill... the problem...

...emails obtained by The Hill and other publications on Wednesday raised significant questions about that explanation. They showed a top Christie aide, deputy chief of staff Bridget Ann Kelly, appearing to collude with David Wildstein, a Christie appointee at the Port Authority, to create traffic in the town.

 

“Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee,” Kelly emailed to Wildstein after the mayor failed to back Christie.

 

“Got it,” Wildstein emailed back.

Press Briefing Post Mortem

Status and Apologies...

  • *GOV CHRISTIE APOLOGIZES TO NJ, FT. LEE, LEGISLATURE
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS HE'S EMBARRASSED, HUMILIATED
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS DOING A LOT OF SOUL-SEARCHING OVER INCIDENT
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS HE WAS 'BLIND SIDED' YESTERDAY MORNING
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS SURPRISED AT "STUPIDITY'' OF THOSE INVOLVED
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS HE WAS TOLD LANE CLOSURES WERE FOR TRAFFIC STUDY
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS HE ASKED STAFF FOR INFORMATION ON LANE CLOSURES
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS SENIOR STAFF SAID THEY HAD NO INFORMATION
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS SAW EMAILS FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY MORNING (after his workout)
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS THERE WERE POLITICAL OVERTONES IN EMAILS
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS HE AND WILDSTEIN WEREN'T FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR BEHAVIOR
  • *CHRISTIE WILL HOLD PERSONAL INTERVIEWS WITH SENIOR STAFF
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS HE HASN'T COMPLETED STAFF INTERVIEWS YET
  • *"I AM HEARTBROKEN'' CHRISTIE SAYS, THAT TRUST BETRAYED
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS STAFF "FELL SHORT''

 

Actions:

  • *CHRISTIE SAYS ACTION TAKEN AGAINST STEPIEN BY 7 PM YESTERDAY
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS STEPIEN WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED FOR PARTY CHAIR
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS STEPIEN WON'T BE CONSIDERED FOR NJ GOP CHAIRMAN
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS STEPIEN WITHDRAWS CONSULTANCY JOB
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS BEHAVIOR OF AIDES UNACCEPTABLE
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS BRIDGET KELLY FIRED, SAYS SHE LIED TO HIM
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS NOT INTERESTED IN BRIDGET KELLY'S EXPLANATION
  • *CHRISTIE SAYS BRIDGET KELLY FIRED BY 9 A.M. YESTERDAY

Kelly and Christie in a better mood...

Next Steps:

  • *U.S. ATTORNEY IN NEW JERSEY PROBING CHRISTIE TRAFFIC SCANDAL
  • *CHRISTIE TRAVELING TO FT. LEE TODAY TO SEEK MEETING W/ MAYOR
  • *CHRISTIE WILL SEEK TO APOLOGIZE TO FT. LEE MAYOR, RESIDENTS
  • *CHRISTIE:NOT BEGINNING PROCESS OF CONSIDERING PRESIDENTIAL RUN

And summing it all up...

 

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Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:36 | 4315906 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

just another survival tactic - hasn't helped any directional trades so who fucking cares???

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:39 | 4315924 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Hey Boss! It's a "traffic study!" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:45 | 4315949 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

A traffic study - with 'no traffic'...

.

makes sense to me.

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:01 | 4316018 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

She probablt told him about it when they were in bed together

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:33 | 4316111 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Christie Kreme doesnt stand a chance against Jeb. Mr Kreme's role is to simply distract from Hillary while Jeb stays quiet, gets everything in line and bides his time.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:33 | 4316114 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Christie is a fat scumbag crony.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:45 | 4316152 dryam
dryam's picture

Christie is just as pathologic as Obama.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:51 | 4316182 pods
pods's picture

Melt the fat bastard down and make some designer soap out of his ass.

pods

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:56 | 4316492 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Rancid lard.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:50 | 4316801 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Big Chris may not resign. But I will.

I hereby announce myself resigned to the fact that Big Chris is just another Statist Goon, for whom I would never cast a vote for elective office.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4316869 MillionDollarBogus_
MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

'...closing lanes on the George Washington bridge..'

Reminds me of the classic Ted Kennedy joke; Year is 1969. Ted and Mary Jo Kopechne are at a party on Chappaquiddick Island, is late in the evening and Mary Jo is overhearing folks talking about her apparent affair with Ted. They are in the car leaving the party and MJ voices her concerns to Ted. He turns to her and says; "Don't worry about it - we'll cross that bridge when we come to it".

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:24 | 4316951 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

At least some heads rolled...,

Obama promoted the bitch from that IRS scandal.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:37 | 4316999 cifo
cifo's picture

He should also fire his personal trainer.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:54 | 4317072 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

You vote?

<chuckle>

Stop it.

I am Chumbawamba.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 23:35 | 4321866 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Voting for any democrat or republican is just anther vote for the corporate takeover of society.  Fuck every one of them.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:03 | 4316535 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

He could provide enough heating oil to keep the entire Eastern seaboard  warm for several weeks. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:09 | 4316560 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

We'll do it in the name of economic stability.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:33 | 4316684 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

it's funny the news just keeps a camera rolling on this fatasses helicopter as it travels through the sky and then switches to where he is going to land. This whole fraud of a thing today was just done for this photo op of him looking presidential getting out of his helicopter to meet some dude face to face. the guy will prob hug him and this will seal his repub bid.

How very wag the dog-esque

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:41 | 4316745 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Yo betta get yo fat asses out there and vote Christie 2016 or you'll be stuck in traffic like a mofo bitchez.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:59 | 4317094 Stroke
Stroke's picture

For the children

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:38 | 4317232 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

And new lampshades for everyone!!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:37 | 4317228 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Really. A 100-minute presser? Over fucking bridge traffic?

That's right up there with Fidel and the Late Hugo Chavez.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:04 | 4316228 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

I've enjoyed some of your recent posts "Fukushima Sam." On this one I agree again. When Christe first burst on the national scene via some youtubes of his speeches, I felt mildly enthusiastic. Maybe this guy was for real. Then I found out more, especially his close corporate connections, he then looked like just another bought and paid for politician to serve crony capitalism and corporate power. Now I see also he is a fucking fool on top of it. He is making his state look like a corrupt old Soviet Republic. America is going to the dogs, that Christe is one of our best politicians shows just how fucking low we have sunk.

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:13 | 4316256 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Well said Jack, I feel/felt the same way.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:02 | 4316531 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Me too, the sad thing is twenty years ago I'd be shocked and outraged, now I chalk it up as standard behavior. Good politician is an oxymoron ( with the likely exception for RP). Until they are all eliminated by prison or hanging we are doomed. Hitlery on deck will complete the reaping.

Miffed;-)

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:11 | 4316569 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

I've always seen him as a loud mouthed fat fuck.  Then again I see all politicians as loud mouthed [insert physical judgement here] fucks.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:49 | 4316795 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

"A politician is an arse upon which everthing has sat except a man."  ee cummings

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:02 | 4317104 Stroke
Stroke's picture

That's typical Jersey you'rte talkig about.....Even more rude then New Y^orkers

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:15 | 4316264 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

"...close corporate connections..."

They've let him know he's in if he can get there.  Resign?  Then it is over.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:46 | 4316428 666
666's picture

The sad thing is that even with all the problems and scandals, he's still the best governor NJ has had in a very long time.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:35 | 4316709 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

True, but we're talking about a state so foolish that it elected Jon Corzine as both Governor AND Senator. The people of NJ believed for 10 years that Mr. Anal Rehypothecation represented them.

 

And I suspect that, for the most part, they were exactly right.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:58 | 4317087 666
666's picture

As a resident of NJ who votes in every election, I am no longer amazed at the fact that the people I vote for never get elected. The masses just don't get it, either because of stupidity, greed or laziness.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:33 | 4316986 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That is a low, low, low bar.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:53 | 4316479 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

Clearing another chess piece off the board for Hillary in '16. Can't wait for 8 more years of Clinton grifting. /s

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:57 | 4316498 john39
john39's picture

only corrupt sold out sociopaths have any chance to make it to the white house.  The U.S. government is nothing more than a sham to keep the sheeple believing that citizenss have any control over the government that controls them.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:59 | 4316516 PT
PT's picture

If anyone called "Clinton" or "Bush" gets in, can you please start admitting that you really live in a time-share monarchy?  Give 'em a tungsten crown.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:37 | 4316721 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Clinton won't fly being on a ballot in an actually contested election, and TPTB are well aware of this. Her personal negatives are so high that she is an unacceptable risk to them. She won't be the Democratic nominee any more than she was going to win in 2008. She has not aged well at all, either.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:04 | 4317112 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

She is actually a perfect foil for Jeb Bush.  The TPTB win either way.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:34 | 4317221 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

But our opinions do not count.

"If they vote for a gay kenyan, they will vote for anything at all."

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 00:57 | 4318371 uplicidlit
uplicidlit's picture

@ icanhasbailout  - and you're still believing that we, the lowly voters, actually elect the Prez??

Now that's funny!

 

(keyword search: Bilderberg)

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:21 | 4316617 therover
therover's picture

You are 100% correct.  Corporate connections out the wazoo.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:32 | 4317214 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

No more Clintons

No more Bush

Give that phony Kenyan a hard and mighty Push!

The only Hope throughout the Land

Is to call for Rand The Man.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:33 | 4317217 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

Jeb isn't going to be the next president. Fuhrer Rand Paul will be the next president of these Totalitarian States. Christie's fat ass is just being moved out of the way.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:47 | 4316167 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

The best way to conduct a traffic study is to block the traffic and see what happens.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:40 | 4316737 Strider52
Strider52's picture

If Christie had walked down that bridge, he would've blocked traffic all by himself?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:45 | 4315951 walküre
walküre's picture

What about the NYPD who claimed disability and severe PTSD from 9/11 to scam up to $400,000,000 from SS?

If anyone still believes the official 9/11 coverup story, here's the last proof you need to be convinced otherwise.

The cops knew what went down which is why they had no problem going after the money. End of story. Cops always know best.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:51 | 4315972 Duke of Earl
Duke of Earl's picture

Disability fraud is a popular sport with or without a 9/11.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:56 | 4316204 walküre
walküre's picture

You don't think the cops would have had moral restraint to use 9/11 as an excuse? Mind blowing how long it went on, how many knew and nobody felt the need to report anything sooner. Either the cops are dirty as you know what or they just couldn't pass up the opportunity on the fraud that was 9/11. But hey, everyone make up their own mind.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:21 | 4316283 Gromit
Gromit's picture

Cops?  Moral restraint?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:35 | 4316367 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

Cops? 

Moral?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:56 | 4316495 phoolish
phoolish's picture

Now we kow where the $ for 9/11 survivor families went.

 

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:48 | 4317049 pods
pods's picture

I'm more concerned with the ~2T that old Donnie told us about on the 10th.

pods

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:08 | 4316557 Elliott Eldrich
Elliott Eldrich's picture

OMG! They scammed $400 million? That's horrible! That's outrageous! That's... about 1/200th what is spent on  QE "infinity" each and every MONTH. Compare, contrast, discuss.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:14 | 4316595 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

We [corporate USSA] have a printing press that prints Federal Reserve bank notes and we will print our way to prosperity.

/sarc

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:10 | 4317139 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

SPOT.FUCKING.ON. Elliot.

Everything else pales in comparison. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:47 | 4315963 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Governor Christie is a liar. He knew everything what was going on, and as a former AG, he knew how to distance himself so he could not be implicated.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:05 | 4316029 jcaz
jcaz's picture

True, but played it beautifully, tho-  he showed himself to be a liar that "cares deeply",  which will go a long way in the Presidential race, when he opposes the usual doesn't-care-deeply liar-

It's what the people want- we know they all lie, we just want someone that cares that his lies sound sincere-  Obama doesn't even bother to try anymore.....

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:10 | 4316045 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

He definitely lied in the press conference.  Said that he first found out at 8:50am on Wednesday but didn't sleep for two nights. That would be Tuesday and Wednesday nights.  Also said he knew for 36 hours which ties to the two nights of no sleep but the 8:50am on Wednesday time frame is a lie.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:44 | 4316757 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Just wait till he announces fellow fatass Rob Ford as his running mate in 2016

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:57 | 4316850 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

That was not a lie.  It was a mis-speak.

A lie is when a small fry mis-speaks to a federal agent.

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:12 | 4316249 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

"... he showed himself to be a liar that 'cares deeply'... " 

Like learning at Klinton's knee.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:40 | 4316387 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

Too soon to judge.  But if it did come from the top, he is toast.

btw, does anyone else see the media hypocracy between this event and Bengahzi or the IRS scandal?  They are all over Christie like flies on shit. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:42 | 4316404 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

If it were Obama, the media would be discussing the essemtial importance of traffic studies and why it is our patriotic duty to accept traffic delays.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:34 | 4316984 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

The whole dog and pony show dripped with hypocrisy...

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:36 | 4316998 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"Like learning at Klinton's knee."

My thoughts exactly. "I feel your pain", LOL.

This shitstain is the Republican version of Slick Willie.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:39 | 4317011 GeorgeHayduke
GeorgeHayduke's picture

Good observation jcaz. For all their bitching, most folks are sheep who like their master to talk nice to them while kicking their ass.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:07 | 4316036 holgerdanske
holgerdanske's picture

Bridge..t Ann Kelly. All in a name!

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:52 | 4316188 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Hey, don't make fun of the poor woman. She sucked some FAT Christie dick to get where she was, and now she's been kicked to the curb like a two-bit whore.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:13 | 4316052 midtowng
midtowng's picture

Say goodbye to that presidential bid.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:02 | 4316223 BigRedRider
BigRedRider's picture

The problem is no politician is squeeky clean.  You'll just have to determine which politician is the least crooked and give him the presidential bid in 2016.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:29 | 4316968 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Are you just another statist that erroneously believes in political solutions? LMAO.

 

A vote for the lesser of two evils is STILL A VOTE FOR EVIL. If you vote for EVIL then you shall reap EVIL. Then you shall deserve EVIL.

 

Why bellyache when you, yes YOU, are getting exactly what YOU DESERVE? Statist hypocrisy!!!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:11 | 4316576 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

GO RAND GO!!!!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:38 | 4317007 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

It doesn't fucking matter who the President is, when that person is President of a huge Pile of Shit.

Until we deflate the size of Federal government by 99%, it's fucking hopeless.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:00 | 4316012 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Christie! Please make a plea deal. You will resign for your staff's errors if Obama will resign for his staff's errors?

 

But, again, this guy knew about this days ago. Should have fired those involved immediately. Just a normal politician though.....covering for his 'friends' until it requires too much political capital. What a joke. They are ALL politicians.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:08 | 4316558 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Most politicians have the sense to jettison their " friends" when it is apparent they will jeopardize their political career. Remember, there is no honor among thieves. This is possibly a case of the stupids or someone who carefully planned a good backstabbing.

Miffed;-)

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:31 | 4316676 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

"Soul-searching"?  Good luck with dat.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:37 | 4317000 Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

This story has received more attention in one day then Fast & Furious, Bengazi and the IRS scandals have conbined in the past year. No, I don't care for the RINO.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:37 | 4315910 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Bridget Kelly tell-all book about doughnut blowjobs due any year before 2016.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:33 | 4316691 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

Forget the doughnut, Better use a half bagel...thin sliced.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:38 | 4315915 therover
therover's picture

The question I have is, if he did not know about this, what else does he not know about ?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:53 | 4316190 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

He does not know if he is running for President.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:54 | 4316195 pods
pods's picture

Evidently the dangers of being a fat slob.

Within 5 years his ass is going to be doing Ned Beatty impressions in a prison cell.

pods

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:11 | 4316572 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Wow, takes " squeal like a pig "to new abhorrent levels.

Miffed;-)

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:02 | 4316527 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

The last time he's seen that tool his shed is covering.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:38 | 4315916 RyanW525
RyanW525's picture

Interesting how he said he hasnt slept for 2 days, yet only found out about this yesterday at 8:55 am.....???

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:40 | 4315928 WhiteHose
WhiteHose's picture

Just another lying scumbag! Not hard to understand!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:46 | 4317037 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Actually by last report there are as many as 4 lying scumbags in him trying to get out of that giant sized oaf.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:40 | 4315936 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Must've had some sort of "gut feeling" the night before.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:11 | 4316046 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

That must have been an OVERWHELMING feeling!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:13 | 4316053 Blano
Blano's picture

A Christie "gut feeling" could probably pass as an earthquake.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:58 | 4316508 phoolish
phoolish's picture

gut feeling could be taken care of w/ a 12 pack of donuts.

 

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:48 | 4315967 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Seriously.  He could at least fake-cry for us or something.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:22 | 4316284 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

"hasn't slept in 2 days..."

What, is his CPAP machine broke down?  Fucking bubble ass needs to Mama Cass right down the line!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:24 | 4316947 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Hasn't slept for days because he was stuck in goddamn traffic.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:38 | 4315917 WhiteHose
WhiteHose's picture

"oh god no"! Resign??? Where, in the real world would pychopaths like him get a real job? Food taster somewhere I guess.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:14 | 4316056 Blano
Blano's picture

Something tells me he's already had that job.  Just can't put my finger on why though.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:39 | 4315925 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

what a maroon

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:41 | 4315938 WhiteHose
WhiteHose's picture

Moron. fixed it for you

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:54 | 4315985 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Marine. He's a whale.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:57 | 4315996 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

What an embezzle.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:06 | 4316035 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Fat bloated candy-ass!

Contrast this with Obama's IRS (etc!) scandal...

He should have pulled an Obama and when the presstitutes start yapping nail them with Obama's actions and tell them to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!

But no, this clown goes the pussy route.  The perfect GOPer.  Make a big fat sacrificial offering for Hillary to roast in 2016!

I now return you to the Kabuki Theater.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:40 | 4316132 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

WhiteHose, you're education as a child was clearly severely limited.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxGgnI6kCrs

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:49 | 4316172 gallistic
gallistic's picture

Spot on!

You beat me to it- Whitehose and everyone who upvoted him must be too young to get it.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:49 | 4316451 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

@ WhiteHose:

The 21st century has produced  this variant:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=maroon

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:53 | 4316473 WhiteHose
WhiteHose's picture

Not too young at all, too old! Ive forgotten it! But with all the shit going on in this country, all the pleasant childhood memories have faded.

Thx for fixing it for me!

And to think I wasnt allowed to even watch the 3 stooges and now we are surrounded by them in DC, States, and even local level!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:40 | 4316391 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Maroon did not need fixing, if you know your Bugs Bunny cartoons!  ;-)

Sat, 01/11/2014 - 23:24 | 4324131 PT
PT's picture

Oooooooooohhhh!  Thanks.  So in that case, it definitely was not Morans!

http://www.motivationals.org/demotivational-posters-11752 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:06 | 4316896 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Your spellchequer took a wrong turn at Albequerque.
Mine is waiting for wascawwy wabbits.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:56 | 4317077 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Are you a Wabbit Slayer? Of course the youngsters do not understand just what the term, "the rabbit died" means.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xDSeV8eHE

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 01:36 | 4318439 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

awesomesauce(tm) !

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:42 | 4315942 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I was an athelete in school

i met my best friend from high school 2 weeks ago

 

which one was funnier? 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:17 | 4316273 pods
pods's picture

I thought competitive eating only burst on the scene a couple years ago?

pods

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:42 | 4315943 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

Man what a Whale of a story!!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:42 | 4315945 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Chris Christie makes Mayor Rob Ford look like a Saint.

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:05 | 4316234 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Difference being Rob Ford is comedic gold. The guy is so outrageous that it's highly amusing.

Christie is a corrupt fat man that takes himself too seriously. No crack pipes, no homies, no smashing into cameras and people. Not funny.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:10 | 4316566 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8UOfp3znB8

 

"You just called him a fat fuck!"

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:15 | 4316600 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

LOooL. Gold. Thanks for that I hadn't seen some of those. Fat fuck was great.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:44 | 4315950 Roadracer86
Roadracer86's picture

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.  He gets everything this bag of blubber deserves.  Maybe his heart will explode with a donut grease mushroom cloud? 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:45 | 4315953 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

CHRISTIE SAYS HE NEVER FUCKED BRIDGET, NEVER EVEN TRIED.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:47 | 4315957 Roadracer86
Roadracer86's picture

That's because he couldn't locate his cock. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:13 | 4316051 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Obama found it!  It was in his mouth.

EDIT:  Oh wait, it was the other way around.  Carry on!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:10 | 4316246 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Yeah, the poor bastard has quite an impressive gock, he's been growing it since '82.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 15:15 | 4316261 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I guess that's the male version of a gunt?  Hahaha

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:36 | 4316105 benb
benb's picture

I'm confused. Bridget or Elsie the Cow?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:03 | 4317106 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Gawd, if yer that fooking big, how would you ever find your Johnson???

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:47 | 4315958 Cornholiovanderbilt
Cornholiovanderbilt's picture

At least the fktards picked an entertaining distraction to keep us from seeing all of our impending radiation deaths from fuckishima

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:48 | 4315964 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Sounds like the same answers Jamie Dimon gives about the Whale Debacle.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:03 | 4316027 Musashi Miyamoto
Musashi Miyamoto's picture

“poorly monitored and poorly constructed and poorly reviewed and all that.” - James "that's why I'm richer than you" Dimon

https://pathofmusashi.wordpress.com/2014/01/09/the-ten-commandments/

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:53 | 4315975 Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

Ya poll even with Hill' and ya takes you're chances. Goom-bye guv'ner waddles. Least ya weren't a Canadian like the other contender. Next up? Best watch you're hind quarter there Mr. Rubio!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:55 | 4315987 benb
benb's picture

Jabba the Christie is the Dead Horse set to run against Hillary the Bull in the Don King Style 2016 staged elections.

Watch it Wookies!

http://www.appliancesonlineblog.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Star-W...

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:13 | 4316049 benb
benb's picture

Looks like we've got some sock puppets in the thread. Say hello to Cass the Subversive Ass Sunstein for me.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:14 | 4316057 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I prefer Cass Shitstain.  Please feel free to carry his new name back to him.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:42 | 4316060 benb
benb's picture

Works for me.

Could be a move to bring in Jeb Bush.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 18:02 | 4317100 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

" staged elections."  You got that right!

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:57 | 4315999 replaceme
replaceme's picture

action is taken; confidence is restored. 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:27 | 4316097 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

As in the "confidence" in confidence game?

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:58 | 4316003 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Whatever happened to the blond who was giving Corzine a blowjob when they crashed without seatbelts when going to see Imys and the nappy headed Hos at Rutgers.

As much as I hate government. I will miss the entertainment of idiot politicians, when it finally is buried once and for all.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:59 | 4316007 Swarmee
Swarmee's picture

If only there were some kind of Investigative Bureau of some sort empowered to police these sorts of things, perhaps at the Federal level... Hm, well no fireworks or low grade explosives involved, and everyone seems to be of sound mental health so nothing to see here, move along.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:59 | 4316009 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

What an ass this Christie guy is.  Hey Christie, STOP EATING and after that STOP LYING.  You are not going to be President because the more you talk the dumber you sound. 

Christie is just another douchebag who should be selling used cars.  Much ado about nothing.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:58 | 4316856 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Little known is the story of Geppetto's first creation. It was not Pinochio. That was soon after but the mistake with the first one was just too big to ignore.
His name was Bellypochio, and if he lied he got fat as the fattest fuck you ever did see.
His only wish was that one day he could be a real douche.
I guess dreams do come true.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 13:59 | 4316010 Payne
Payne's picture

Only a crazy question for a crook.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:00 | 4316014 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

It must be great to take full responsibility and none of the consequences.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:05 | 4316030 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Not a fan of Christie, but how is this significantly different from barricading national monuments and closing private businesses on public property during the partial federal shutdown? Anyone? Bueller?

 

 

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:17 | 4316061 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

What shutdown?  Did the government spend less money during the "shutdown"?

We had to shutdown due to weather for a week once.  No one got paid (unlike the paid vacation the .gov workers just got) for that week, nothing was ordered, no diesel fuel was burnt, etc. etc.

Keep beating that red/blue drum moron.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:17 | 4316064 Blano
Blano's picture

This one is a Republican (in name only I know, but you get the drift).

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 14:34 | 4316118 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I see what you are saying here and I do not disagree but isn't this charade a high school level redux?  I should not have watched that press conference but CNN was the only channel without Capital One Samuel L Jackass commercials rolling ad nauseum.  Hell, those CNN assholes are still going on about this "scandal" because the entire nation and world only thinks about traffic in New Jersey.  New Jersey traffic is far and away the number one concern on our list of shit we all care so deeply about.  That and 15 dozen donuts as well three old 96ers a day.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:54 | 4316828 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

you still watch TV?
I have one hooked up in a furnished apartment. I never use it. Satellite but I don't care. Nothing is worth watching.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 16:53 | 4316823 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Easy: the shutdowns were ordered by He-who-must-not-be-blamed.

Thu, 01/09/2014 - 17:59 | 4317091 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

And the MSM will not cover the sordid life of Bath House Barry, but Fatso is Fair Game. After he sucked off Bath House after the hurricane and helped elect him, he was of no further use, so under the bus he goes.

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