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Bank Of America Smiles On Its Junior Bankers, Tells Them To Take 4 Weekend Days Off

Tyler Durden's picture





 

In a memo to employees today, Bank of America has made some 'improvements' to its recommendations for analysts and associates working hours...

  • *BOFA ANNOUNCES IMPROVEMENT IN WORKING CONDITIONS FOR JUNIORS
  • *BOFA SAYS JUNIOR BANKERS SHOULD TAKE 4 WEEKEND DAYS OFF A MONTH
This comes on the heels of the death of a 21-year old intern in August who "pulled eight all-nighters in two weeks" prior to his death. Next they will be demanding a rise in minimum wage...
Why is BofA 'smiling' on its juniors?

From August:

Bank of America Merrill Lynch has announced it will review working conditions for junior employees after the death of a 21-year-old intern last week.

 

Moritz Erhardt, a Bank of America Merrill Lynch intern, was found dead in his dorm in London. A spokesperson for the London Metropolitan police said the death had been ruled "unsuspicious," and that the medical examiner was expected to release its findings later this week.

 

...

 

The company will particularly be looking at the working conditions faced by junior employees and interns.

 

Erhardt, a German student, was finishing his summer internship at Bank of America Merrill Lynch, a competitive seven-week program in which interns often work overtime during their placement, the bank confirmed.

 

According to the U.K's Independent, an unidentified intern, who lived in the same building as Erhardt, said the German intern had been staying up for days during the last few weeks of the internship.

 

"He apparently pulled eight all-nighters in two weeks. They get you working crazy hours, and maybe it was just too much for him in the end," the intern told The Independent.

 


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Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:33 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

"Tells Them To Take 4 Weekend Days Off"

In the old days we would say, "That's mighty white of them."

Can't do that now.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:44 | Link to Comment nuclearsquid
nuclearsquid's picture

NO no, this is about the people at the top.  They like that the tables are turned and they can carry out their own holocaust of indentured servant peons.

 

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:48 | Link to Comment Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

At an investment bank interns, analysts and associates cram 5 hours of work into a 17 hour day.

 

Crucial skillsets include knowing how to;

 

Silently sit in on all those conference calls,

Keep out your bosses way,

Dress like a Mormon,

Pretend to use your Blackberry to avoid eye contact with clients,

 

 

 

And anyone who goes home at night is a pussy.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:00 | Link to Comment centerline
centerline's picture

I've seen some real psycho places where the boss or owner has his desk with a glass wall right at the exit watching who comes and goes.

Even in companies where I have worked, I can't tell you guys how many times I have had to fight off policy changes that reward masochistic behavior for actual performance.  I always get a kick out of explaining how someone surfing the net for 16 hours looks better to them than the genious who can execute a weeks worth of work (for an average person) in an 8 hour day.

 

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:05 | Link to Comment Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

"8 all-nighters in 2 weeks..." sounds pretty normal for the medical intern next door. He's never home and working all the time. I'm sure he'll be rewarded with a generous $92k salary + 1 week vacation working as a slave for some hospital slopping hepatits fluids and HIV blood when he finishes.

So there yng bankers shouldn't complain.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:26 | Link to Comment NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Dicking around with numbers on a screen and and pushing paperwork is not work, as nothing is really created from it. It's essentially being a legalized con artist.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:58 | Link to Comment Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

That actually works? I thought people who were so high up in corporations were so fucking stupid that it wouldn't work. The only thing they do know is to pay the government (campaign contributions) to look the other way and to make laws in their favor.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:48 | Link to Comment texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

Memo from Brian M: We only work half days around here, and we don't care what 12 hours you choose.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 20:52 | Link to Comment MachineMan
MachineMan's picture

The modern saying is, "That's mighty 255 255 255 of them."

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:39 | Link to Comment VD
VD's picture

interns should def do more blow to stay up longer and live a few xtra weekendz longer...very least adderall...

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:56 | Link to Comment Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

Who gives a shit what a former person of Obama's administration thinks about anything?

 

Maybe she is a "Washington outsider" and we should elect her President. /sarcasm.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 18:39 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Do you vote:
a) the Dear Leader Ozero
b) Outsider-annie Lizzie Warren
c) Kodos

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 22:07 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Gonna have to go with Kodos.  Sure, he's a slimy, green-tentacled alien with fangs, but it's time to shake up the status quo!

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:32 | Link to Comment Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Well at least there are jobs for installers of suicide nets.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:54 | Link to Comment tradewithdave
tradewithdave's picture

Keynes skyscraper broken window 2.0 value add, good thinking.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:33 | Link to Comment Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

How hard is it to work at a bank?

All you day is count money all day, then the next morning you start over.

Honestly, I'd never shake hands with a banker because of the above fact, he's been handling money all day and money has germs on it...

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:34 | Link to Comment Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

And cocaine...bankster candy.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:35 | Link to Comment l8apex
l8apex's picture

hookers and blow, the only way to roll.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:38 | Link to Comment Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

"All you day every day"

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:43 | Link to Comment U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

You have an edit button, buddy

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:43 | Link to Comment Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

I have aspergers

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:46 | Link to Comment donsluck
donsluck's picture

So we get Aspergers. Not a victim-less disease!

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 18:36 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

That must taste horrible, sorry to hear that!

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:41 | Link to Comment U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

Have you ever handled blood money before?

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 14:00 | Link to Comment Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

No, none of my formers employers were the Military Industrial Complex or got 1's and 0's transferred to their accounts through the Fed.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:42 | Link to Comment texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

Do you have any idea how long it takes to fabricate earnings statements so Brian and the boys can maximize their bonus pool??

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:36 | Link to Comment nuclearsquid
nuclearsquid's picture

Do you think that they actually let investment bankers handle money?

no way jose

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:36 | Link to Comment wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

They could have just added more cut. 

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:55 | Link to Comment Rainman
Rainman's picture

Bank of Lynch should consider an additional benefit : one extra rice ball on holidays is very good for morale 

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:45 | Link to Comment RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

They should institute a training program so that all the interns know where the windows are, and how to open them. 

In the future, that knowledge should become important to them.  Apparently, based on their performance in the last crash, most of their superiors don't know that information.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:52 | Link to Comment Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

I remember when ENRON shit the bed one news station was live broadcasting people leaving the building for the last time.

They panned up a few floors and someone scrawled a sign on their office window "This is not an exit".

Funny stuff

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:45 | Link to Comment Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

So these bankers are killing themselves. Got popcorn?

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:45 | Link to Comment vincent
vincent's picture

If people would just pull their money from this den we could give them the time off they really deserve.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:45 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

One part of the memo stated: Female interns will be allowed to go to bed more frequently.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:05 | Link to Comment Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

... in order that male employees get enough sleep.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:46 | Link to Comment mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

He's taking eternity leave.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:48 | Link to Comment MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

Um yeah, Bank of America calls it "IT as a business" so those folks can take a few days off as we have some new models and algorithms that going to do a lot of your work for you...

Rest of the world needs to wake up ...creepy models and code are out there mixed in with the good stuff..

http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2013/09/it-is-business-states-cio-of-bank...

And then also you have MasterCard ready to get further into your internet pants, created a new marketing scheme to convince you that you need to know which one of 5 personas you are in...BFD...keep the darn fees down please...

http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2013/12/mastercard-as-well-as-other-finan...

Now here's something of interest when you have a non profit company like Kaiser Permanente that created a subsidiary that does modeling in healthcare, just like the banks do, they sold it to a PE firm so now we have a new focus...modeling for money and will it stay pure is the big question.  So what's going on today with marketing and models...only your quants knows for sure:)

http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2014/01/kaiser-permanente-sells-archimede...

 

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:49 | Link to Comment maskone909
maskone909's picture

serious question;

wtf is a weekend day? 

signed, -the real world.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:57 | Link to Comment centerline
centerline's picture

I think it means they are expected to return to work at night.  lol.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 12:50 | Link to Comment centerline
centerline's picture

Hope these kids know that they are on the ground floor of an industry that is collapsing.  I suspect not.  They too probably think the party will go on forever and they are paying thier dues on the way to rock star lifestyles.

Greed is a real bitch.  lol.

 

 

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:22 | Link to Comment SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

They are still clamoring to get in.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:03 | Link to Comment Fíréan
Fíréan's picture

A Japanese, who was visiting the UK for work purposes, told to us how many days holiday he had per year back home. The number was well in excess of a hundred, so when questioned about it he responded that he was allowed two days holiday each week (edit: as well as the regular vacation days of course) . . .  saturday and sunday. And it wasn't a joke he was telling.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:04 | Link to Comment Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Farm gold o famry die

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:00 | Link to Comment Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Stealing and theft can be very stressful and demanding, that is,  the further down the food chain you are...For Alpha-Stealers on the top, stealing and theft is easier than  taking candy from a baby and is just as threatening...

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:10 | Link to Comment Fíréan
Fíréan's picture

I work part-time, only part of the day  . . .  about eight hours of the day . . there are whole parts of the day when i'm sleeping . . .

 

Christopher Walken; Saturday Night Live sketch .

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:26 | Link to Comment Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

This is the cost of entry for this craft. Some just aren't cut out to handle that much cocaine and caffeine in two weeks.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 15:01 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

This is clearly an opening for a bull-market in Tiger-Blood transfusions

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:41 | Link to Comment Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

at first I thought the title meant that bankers now get 4-day weekends, an enhancement of "banker's hours."  Now it seems "banker's hours" mean something totally different. 

 

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:49 | Link to Comment Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

 "...eight all-nighters in two weeks"

 

Learn how to manage your managing directors, buddy.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 13:58 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Only a sucker would be an intern. Pay is too low, even zero in some cases, and if your future employer demands you work free before you even get hired this is a #1 sign you don't want to work for this slave-driver.

No job is worth this. work for yourself or don't work at all.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 15:41 | Link to Comment Reference Variable
Reference Variable's picture

Only the strong bank interns shall survive.

Thunderdome!

I'd love to have some of that eager beaver coming through the doors... Yes sweetheart, I have a position for you right under my desk... All you other dweebs get back to work.

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 16:06 | Link to Comment The Paucity of Hope
The Paucity of Hope's picture

Here's an old Dilbert cartoon about Karoshi

<a href="http://dilbert.comhttp://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1993-11-02/" title="Dilbert.com"><img src="http://dilbert.com" border="0" alt="Dilbert.com" /></a>

edit-- sorry about that try this: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1993-11-02/

Fri, 01/10/2014 - 17:50 | Link to Comment BlueCheeseBandit
BlueCheeseBandit's picture

Glad I didn't work for a bank or a law firm.

 

5 PM calls, I'm out the door, bitches! (If I'm still there, that is)

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