Bank Of America Smiles On Its Junior Bankers, Tells Them To Take 4 Weekend Days Off

Tyler Durden's picture

In a memo to employees today, Bank of America has made some 'improvements' to its recommendations for analysts and associates working hours...

This comes on the heels of the death of a 21-year old intern in August who "pulled eight all-nighters in two weeks" prior to his death. Next they will be demanding a rise in minimum wage...
Why is BofA 'smiling' on its juniors?

From August:

Bank of America Merrill Lynch has announced it will review working conditions for junior employees after the death of a 21-year-old intern last week.


Moritz Erhardt, a Bank of America Merrill Lynch intern, was found dead in his dorm in London. A spokesperson for the London Metropolitan police said the death had been ruled "unsuspicious," and that the medical examiner was expected to release its findings later this week.




The company will particularly be looking at the working conditions faced by junior employees and interns.


Erhardt, a German student, was finishing his summer internship at Bank of America Merrill Lynch, a competitive seven-week program in which interns often work overtime during their placement, the bank confirmed.


According to the U.K's Independent, an unidentified intern, who lived in the same building as Erhardt, said the German intern had been staying up for days during the last few weeks of the internship.


"He apparently pulled eight all-nighters in two weeks. They get you working crazy hours, and maybe it was just too much for him in the end," the intern told The Independent.

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insanelysane's picture

"Tells Them To Take 4 Weekend Days Off"

In the old days we would say, "That's mighty white of them."

Can't do that now.

nuclearsquid's picture

NO no, this is about the people at the top.  They like that the tables are turned and they can carry out their own holocaust of indentured servant peons.


Occident Mortal's picture

At an investment bank interns, analysts and associates cram 5 hours of work into a 17 hour day.


Crucial skillsets include knowing how to;


Silently sit in on all those conference calls,

Keep out your bosses way,

Dress like a Mormon,

Pretend to use your Blackberry to avoid eye contact with clients,




And anyone who goes home at night is a pussy.

centerline's picture

I've seen some real psycho places where the boss or owner has his desk with a glass wall right at the exit watching who comes and goes.

Even in companies where I have worked, I can't tell you guys how many times I have had to fight off policy changes that reward masochistic behavior for actual performance.  I always get a kick out of explaining how someone surfing the net for 16 hours looks better to them than the genious who can execute a weeks worth of work (for an average person) in an 8 hour day.


Handful of Dust's picture

"8 all-nighters in 2 weeks..." sounds pretty normal for the medical intern next door. He's never home and working all the time. I'm sure he'll be rewarded with a generous $92k salary + 1 week vacation working as a slave for some hospital slopping hepatits fluids and HIV blood when he finishes.

So there yng bankers shouldn't complain.

NidStyles's picture

Dicking around with numbers on a screen and and pushing paperwork is not work, as nothing is really created from it. It's essentially being a legalized con artist.

Bobbyrib's picture

That actually works? I thought people who were so high up in corporations were so fucking stupid that it wouldn't work. The only thing they do know is to pay the government (campaign contributions) to look the other way and to make laws in their favor.

texas sandman's picture

Memo from Brian M: We only work half days around here, and we don't care what 12 hours you choose.

MachineMan's picture

The modern saying is, "That's mighty 255 255 255 of them."

VD's picture

interns should def do more blow to stay up longer and live a few xtra weekendz longer...very least adderall...

Bobbyrib's picture

Who gives a shit what a former person of Obama's administration thinks about anything?


Maybe she is a "Washington outsider" and we should elect her President. /sarcasm.

MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Do you vote:
a) the Dear Leader Ozero
b) Outsider-annie Lizzie Warren
c) Kodos

StychoKiller's picture

Gonna have to go with Kodos.  Sure, he's a slimy, green-tentacled alien with fangs, but it's time to shake up the status quo!

Temporalist's picture

Well at least there are jobs for installers of suicide nets.

tradewithdave's picture

Keynes skyscraper broken window 2.0 value add, good thinking.

Billy Sol Estes's picture

How hard is it to work at a bank?

All you day is count money all day, then the next morning you start over.

Honestly, I'd never shake hands with a banker because of the above fact, he's been handling money all day and money has germs on it...

l8apex's picture

hookers and blow, the only way to roll.

U4 eee aaa's picture

Have you ever handled blood money before?

Bobbyrib's picture

No, none of my formers employers were the Military Industrial Complex or got 1's and 0's transferred to their accounts through the Fed.

texas sandman's picture

Do you have any idea how long it takes to fabricate earnings statements so Brian and the boys can maximize their bonus pool??

nuclearsquid's picture

Do you think that they actually let investment bankers handle money?

no way jose

wisehiney's picture

They could have just added more cut. 

Rainman's picture

Bank of Lynch should consider an additional benefit : one extra rice ball on holidays is very good for morale 

RaceToTheBottom's picture

They should institute a training program so that all the interns know where the windows are, and how to open them. 

In the future, that knowledge should become important to them.  Apparently, based on their performance in the last crash, most of their superiors don't know that information.

Billy Sol Estes's picture

I remember when ENRON shit the bed one news station was live broadcasting people leaving the building for the last time.

They panned up a few floors and someone scrawled a sign on their office window "This is not an exit".

Funny stuff

Bunga Bunga's picture

So these bankers are killing themselves. Got popcorn?

vincent's picture

If people would just pull their money from this den we could give them the time off they really deserve.

insanelysane's picture

One part of the memo stated: Female interns will be allowed to go to bed more frequently.

Bunga Bunga's picture

... in order that male employees get enough sleep.

mick_richfield's picture

He's taking eternity leave.

MedicalQuack's picture

Um yeah, Bank of America calls it "IT as a business" so those folks can take a few days off as we have some new models and algorithms that going to do a lot of your work for you...

Rest of the world needs to wake up ...creepy models and code are out there mixed in with the good stuff..

And then also you have MasterCard ready to get further into your internet pants, created a new marketing scheme to convince you that you need to know which one of 5 personas you are in...BFD...keep the darn fees down please...

Now here's something of interest when you have a non profit company like Kaiser Permanente that created a subsidiary that does modeling in healthcare, just like the banks do, they sold it to a PE firm so now we have a new focus...modeling for money and will it stay pure is the big question.  So what's going on today with marketing and models...only your quants knows for sure:)


maskone909's picture

serious question;

wtf is a weekend day? 

signed, -the real world.

centerline's picture

I think it means they are expected to return to work at night.  lol.

centerline's picture

Hope these kids know that they are on the ground floor of an industry that is collapsing.  I suspect not.  They too probably think the party will go on forever and they are paying thier dues on the way to rock star lifestyles.

Greed is a real bitch.  lol.



SilverIsKing's picture

They are still clamoring to get in.

Fíréan's picture

A Japanese, who was visiting the UK for work purposes, told to us how many days holiday he had per year back home. The number was well in excess of a hundred, so when questioned about it he responded that he was allowed two days holiday each week (edit: as well as the regular vacation days of course) . . .  saturday and sunday. And it wasn't a joke he was telling.

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Stealing and theft can be very stressful and demanding, that is,  the further down the food chain you are...For Alpha-Stealers on the top, stealing and theft is easier than  taking candy from a baby and is just as threatening...

Fíréan's picture

I work part-time, only part of the day  . . .  about eight hours of the day . . there are whole parts of the day when i'm sleeping . . .


Christopher Walken; Saturday Night Live sketch .

Papasmurf's picture

This is the cost of entry for this craft. Some just aren't cut out to handle that much cocaine and caffeine in two weeks.

MeelionDollerBogus's picture

This is clearly an opening for a bull-market in Tiger-Blood transfusions

Frank N. Beans's picture

at first I thought the title meant that bankers now get 4-day weekends, an enhancement of "banker's hours."  Now it seems "banker's hours" mean something totally different.