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Monday Humor: Portland Pimp Sues Nike For "Dangerous Weapon"-ized Trainers
While McDonalds "coffee is hot" warning labels and litigation was a farce of lowest-common-denominator American exceptionalism; SirGriorgio Clardy, a Portland pimp, is suing Nike for not specifying that his trainers could be used as a dangerous weapon. As NBC News reports, Clardy is seeking $100 million from the Oregon sportswear company after he was sentenced to 100 years in prison for brutally beating a 'john' with his sneaker (apparently unaware of their potential for danger when one stomps on the face of another human being).
...
Sirgiorgio Clardy, 26, claims Nike should have placed a warning in the shoes warning consumers that the kicks have the potential to be used as a dangerous weapon, according to The Oregonian newspaper. Clardy is seeking $100 million for what he believes was the shoe manufacturer’s oversight.
In June, Clardy repeatedly stomped on the face of a client with his Jordan Nike shoes when the man refused to pay Clardy’s prostitute. The man required stitches and plastic surgery after the beating.
Clardy was sentenced to 100 years in prison for beating the man as well as attacking an 18-year-old prostitute so violently that she bled from her ears.
...
The jury in Clardy’s most recent case called him a “dangerous offender” and classified his shoes as “a dangerous weapon” in order to assure he received the longest prison sentence possible, according to The Oregonian.
Clardy wrote a three-page complaint against Nike from the Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution where he is incarcerated, reported The Oregonian. In the claim he said Nike “failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction,” by not cautioning that their shoes are “potentially dangerous.”
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Playa's just tryin' t'earn a living, yo.
I almost hope he wins...do you know how much Pruno $100 million will buy?
Bitcoin can help eliminate violence against sex workers around the world by eliminating the middle man. Bankers and pimps share much in common.
Bitcoin can eliminate sex- fonebone is walking proof of that.....
Free Jon Corzine!
"If I had a son, he would look like SirGiriogio."
Pimp 101, Chapter 1, "The Pimp HAND".
That’s almost as funny as the government fining a big bank for criminal and negligent operations.
If I had a pimp for a son, he'd look just like....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSXv4krGmQw
behind every lawsuit is a greedy lawyer.
BTW, your politicians are likely to be lawyers too.
So I buy this hammer at Costco......came with a warning label......do not strike pimps with this product.
I'm glad they put that there.....cause that was the first thing I thought about doing with it.
He looks just like DeBlasio's kid. Maybe his brother.
https://www.google.com/search?q=deblasio%27s+son&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=u...
Time for a Beer Summit!
Freddie, great catch. Still laughing.
+1
Even bitcoin pimps?
1 BTC will buy you a lot of bitbitchez in five years.
What's in your wallet.dat?
As long as they got a barcode tat on their ass...lol.
When eyes bees wearin my top-siders my bitches don't combplain bout da stompin. Damn nikes. I aint stealin no mo air jordans (the best NBA ever to live, die or otherwise).
Man I been thinking and thinking about what tattoo to get and I think you just helped me to decide.
Always check for the tramp stamp mark of quality.
Oh, you should check for
The tramp stamp label
When you are buying a girl, boy or cow...
Bitcoin will be dealt with by TPTB when it is to their best advantage, and to your macimum disadvantage, to do so.
TPTB are unable to deal with those who have achieved Satoshi conciousness. Because we have reached the greatest computing power on Earth means that we are more intelligent than virtually everyone on Earth.
religion?
$100M sure buy a lot of Jordans!
Sounds like a Bad Brake for somebody. Better Call Saul!
http://www.bettercallsaul.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pPd67CEL54E
Enough to die from botulism.
There needs to be a National Sneaker Owners Registry with a 10 day waiting period before buying "kicks".
Sneakers don't kill, pimps with sneakers do.
As his lawyer I'd have recommended he wear Bruno Magli shoes, like OJ.
"Hmmm, Nikes. I'm not sure what I can do with this, kid."
If the Nike Jordans fit you must run, skinflint.
Felony flyers
If you want to keep your Nike Jordans, you can.
( prison excepted. )
100 years in prison gon' give him plenyatime to figure out what ta do wit it, too.
Dude is just trying to stay alive in prison- after his buddies find out how he abused his Nikes, he'll be lower than a pedophile in the yard........
If Barry had a son....
....he might resemble Sirgiorgio Clardy, aka The Duke Of Pearl aka Chester Dangerfield aka Little Big aka The Magnificent Seven....
stomp we much!
yo dat.
not to one-upsmanship this dude or anything... but many of my personal friends can attest that any of my footwear might be classified as an even more dangerous weapon just for being removed from my feet and allowed to air.
i've got a lawyer on retainer just in case...
What about the PigFord case? http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2014/01/mainstream-media-cover-up-obamas-first-billion-dollar-fraud-against-the-american-people-video-2872770.html
Bozos first big scam
I thought the first was being born in the US of A?
"Keeping Portland Weird" one freek'in stupid loser at a time.
The perp's hairdo...is Portland in a +40 year old time warp?
The hoez had no time for the corn rowz....
It's funny. Portland is the only big city I've ever been in that I don't hate. I freakin' hate Seattle, and Tacoma and Federal Way aren't much better. Spokane is a shithole if ever there was one. Portland ain't so bad.
Portland? That soggy shithole of a city where fat leftist man-hating lesbians dominate?
Who's the bigger sleezebag, the pimp or his lawyer?
Maybe they could both be subjected to some test runs to determine just how dangerous a weapon those shoes really are - you know, before deciding on the wording of the warning.
They can sue me for dangerously not giving a fuck. Darwin Awards all around.
Nike's working on the new Cross-Crime line of shoes; sharpened toe section for cutting, reinforced heel for stomping, and light weight body with solid traction for fleeing the cops.
Then Nike should go all-in include some of these shoe spikes (which look like a retread of an old Fred Perrin design)
http://www.szaboinc.com/weapons/savate3.jpg
Yes.
While I hardly empathize with the pimp, this suit is all the jury's/prosecuter's fault for taking a law and using it to further an agenda.
They created a fucked up legal precedent, and now they're going to have to live with the consequences of it.
Now excuse me while I go out to the shoe store so I can reload.
In an encroaching police state, laws are written to be interpreted broadly. First, the law is interpreted against a guy everyone can agree is an asshole who is sentenced to 100 years for using shoes to commit assault. His shoes are a deadly weapon, so put him away for life. There is no public outcry because no one would defend the animal. Next, the case is cited as precedent for charging a protestor with assault with a deadly weapon for throwing his shoe at a banker. That's how they do it.
Once an unconstitutional framework of gov has been set in place, all it takes is a "good" leader as viewed by the populace, to make use of this power.
Now I'm getting concerned about my steel-toed boots. Even worse, I have a pair of caulks (pronounced corks here in FEMA region X), I'm a dangerous criminal.
Lawyers gonna jump on this one!
YES!
Does that mean I'm going to have to register all my shoes as lethal weapons with the Feds.? Will flip-flops have an exclusion?
Will my size 16 steel-toe boots be deemed"Weapons of Mass Destruction"?
you gotta hand it to the guy for trying ...
Everyone's a victim. It's the shoes fault!
100 years.... the guy is clearly a douche of some magnitude, but that is just ridiculous. 100 years.
Does anybody actually serve the entire sentence anymore?
Hell no nigga. He need the 100 large to re-establish sum street cred after a couple o' years working out in the prison gym, yo.
Oregon prisons still have weights? Hmm, might save me on gym fees to do a stretch...
The American just us system at work. He beat a guy up. He deserves to do time, but I'm with you that it seems excessive. Part of the reason we have more people in prison than any other country by far. You would think that on a website whose posters are predominently against the police state, you would receive fewer downvotes. Then again, why am I not surprised?
Attempted murder? That's how I'd've charged it. Clearly the guy is a violent animal and who would be surprized if this 26 year old didn't have a rap sheet a dozen pages long.
I'm guessing there's a reason they didn't charge it that way, but that's the beauty of the American just us system,if you're into police state stuff.
Have you seen the DA's and those who pass off as judges today? It's a reality televison T&A show. A Liberal cesspool of injustice, just ask anyone who went through divorce court.
I walk into a bar or someone's place of work, their shit's scared
They know I ain't no cop, they think I come to kill 'em
And I would. I'd kill any man who crosses me... or put 'em in the hospital
I don't 'mess around', know what I mean?
Straight off I nut 'em in the face
And bring my heel down on that foot... and break da bone
I'm a bad man *
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa41GPiCAyI
Yeah, stomping a couple of people is one thing. What was Corzine's weapon again? Will Wingtips qualify for this rule too?
With shoes out there like these sooner or later we'll have to take our shoes off to even get on an airplane.
Can I sue Nike if I trip over a shoelace? How about if I break my toe on a rock?
Depends if it's a dime or a dub, yo.
Leaving MacWorld in SF about 10 years ago - guy is stomping hell out of another across the street. I yell out for him to stop. He kicks the guy in the head a few more times and walks off. I call 911 on my cell and tell the dispatcher my dog and I are following and will vector a squad car in while an ambulance is dispatched for the victim. Long story short - guy is arrested (I have to prefer charges as the cops didn't see it). I get a letter from his attorney some weeks later. I am being sued for false arrest. Ignored it and never heard back.
In Phenix City (yes, spelled correctly) Alabama in 2006 I saw a black guy throw a brick into the spinal area of another black guy. A mob of other blacks cheered the fight on encouraging the attacker and doing nothing to intervene. They simply smelled blood and converged on the wounded. We simply got the hell out of there and this was a block from the courthouse. In all likelihood the attacker was lauded as an alpha male and had no shortage of breeding females throwing themselves at the thug.
Nice job trying to be a responsible citizen in an insane world. SF is weird like that with homeless ready to thrown down for a fight about anything. The homeless do meancing crap down by the tourist areas by the wharf. A sort of panhandling through intimidation.
Is that your dog in the avatar? Looks like a beautiful dog.
Yes. Plush Coat German Shepherd Dog. 125lbs. Cross trained, service & personal protection. Deceased Nov. 2006. Thanks.
I am sorry for your loss. What a beautiful dog. What a coat.
Back in my youth I was in a fairly rowdy drinking establishment on a Saturday night. There was a big bad dude, really nasty looking, in the back room where the pool table was, being loud and obnoxious. In the main part of the bar was a little guy that looked like Richard Simmons sitting at a table with a couple other meek-looking guys.
Richard Simmons guy gets up, plugs some money into the juke box, and sits back at the table. An Eddie Money tune starts playing. Big Bad Ass dude comes out of the back room and demands to know what faggot played that faggot shit. Richard Simmons guy counters with a comment about big guys having small peckers. Big Bad Ass dude gets a wild look in his eye, says something about kicking ass, and starts for Richard Simmons guy. Richard Simmons guy jumps to his feet. His feet, by the way, were clad in black biker boots with thick heels (I thought to make him look taller).
Richard Simmons guy kicked Bad Ass Dude so hard in the kneecap it cracked like breaking a tree branch. Big Bad Ass went down, and Richard Simmons kicked him once more, full force in the face, with those black boots. For sure he broke his nose and half his teeth, and probably also his eye socket. Big Bad Ass Dude was on the floor out cold, wheezing through his broken nose and ruined mouth (blood gushing from both). The bartender called the cops.
By the time the cops got there Richard Simmons guy was long gone, and Big Bad Ass Dude was sitting up on the floor half conscious. Three witnesses swore the "little guy acted in self defense". The cops found out Big Bad Ass Dude was on parole or probation or something, wasn't supposed to be in drinking establishments or engaging in fights. The meat wagon hauled him off to the hospital and I'm sure he was jailed after that.
I don't know about Nike sneakers, but beware those big black Doc Martin style biker boots.
Doc Marten
Only sissy pimps use lawsuits to fix a problem.
Like Rand Paul?
Rand Paul is a pimp?
According to Freedom X he is. And a sissy one at that.
No. He's a lawsuit.
Budumpa!
(Cymbals crashing)
I swear I heard that. Great 2-d sound effect there nm.... :-)
ori
SirGriorgio-WTF?
There should be a warning just for that afro!
Could have a short shotgun stashed up in all dat.
If Don King had a son....
... you can keep your afro if you want ...
This tactic may actually work in blue states. Use the gun control meme. Since certain "groups" in society can't handle guns responsibly, then ban them for everyone. Same with sneakers. Maybe the O'bummer will then insist that we all wear Muslim sandals. That way we can merely slap each with them or throw them at each other after a perceived slight.....
Based on mugshot 100 years seems about right to me. Fuck that guy.
All jokes aside, he is right and makes a great case... smart lawyers should lining up for an audience with this guy.
It be Whitey fault.
It be Nike fault.
It be da skool fault.
It be da lack uv opporunitiez.
Society forced me to be a pimp.
It beez da po'leece fault.
It be da judge/laywers/jury fault.....
Personally - I could care less about Phil Knight and Nike. Nike hires pimp athletes to sell pimp & gangsta culture while paying workers peanuts in third world countries. Their shoes are made like shit and fall apart. This includes running shoes and golf shoes. They use the cheapest glue.
WMT and others make a fortune off food stamps but if there was no welfare and food stamps then Nike would go out of business.
A liberal solution:
All new sneaker consumers must pass an extensive federal background check and wait a mandatory 21 days before purchasing new sneakers. Shoe laces will be limited to one pair of shoe laces per anum unless cause for additional shoe laces can be proven - waivers will be reviewed by the Department of Justice on an 'as needed' basis. The number of shoes per year should be limited to not more then two per anum. Children and those under the age of 21 will be prohibited from purchasing sneakers unless with the consent of a legal guardian and only after proving the child has a need for foot wear. A tax of 21% will be levied on those who provide material for making sneakers. Those wishing to wear sneakers in public will need to file a license through their respective state and approved by the ATFS (Alcohol Tobacco Firearms And Sneaker) agency.
These measures will be enacted to protect our children and keep our streets safe. All violations will be administered under the Federal court system and those in breach will be held accountable under the full extent of the law.
I'm sure American's will stand behind these measures to stop unnecessary deaths and violence towards our women and children.
SNEAKERS KILL. Stop the violence.
Footnote: Exempted from measure are 1) communities where sneakers are traditional culture, 2) communities where sneakers are slung of telephone or electric wires and worshiped as religious icons, 3) communities where sneakers are required to guarantee freedom by outrunning the popo.
Won't go nowheres. Nike barebacks Oygun whenever they feel like it.
Most recently when they carved out a special tax exemption for Nike only the corporate tax increase. This even though all Nike does in Oregon is design.
Another reason why we are flat out broke. Put a bullet in this guys head, save the room and board for a hundred years and the bullshit lawsuit costs...
Judge elclectic syncretist would release him into a heavily armed prison population armed only with his Nike's.
+1000
I wouldn't be too free with handing out the death sentences... a substantial percentage of the people on death row turn out to be innocent. Could be you're in there one day... on a life sentence, there's some chance of getting your name cleared before you're dead... on a death sentence? Not so much.
Remember... the just us system is administered by the biggest crims of all - the State.
These are people who think nothing of sending young men to kill and be killed on some foreign shore for no good reason... you think they'd think twice about offing you if it was expedient?
Putting aside the fact that the lawsuit is frivolous (note that he is not represented -- he is a jailhouse lawyer with time on his hands), I think the guy is making a point that his shoes were not a dangerous weapon. He is serving 100 years because the jury in his criminal case said they are a dangerous weapon, which greatly increases the potential sentence. Guy may be an asshole, but he knows irony.
Point. It will be interesting if a dismissal on this suit ends up getting him a mistrial in the other.
Well, its a stupid point.
A pillow isn't a dangerous weapon either, until you hold it over someones face and suffocate them. I wonder if his bunk mate Daisy knows about that ;-)
Will you say it's a stupid point when a protestor is charged with using a deadly weapon and sentenced to life for throwing his shoe at a banker based on the same law? Keep in mind that jurors are not told what the sentence will be. They are just asked if it was an aggravated crime. If shoes are considered by legal precedent to be a deadly weapon, then throwing a shoe at a banker is assault with a deadly weapon which carries a much higher penalty than simple assault.
Anything can be made into a weapon LTER. Its the act of using it as a weapon, that makes it a weapon.
Just add water ;-)
Or shoes. You do realize that such a broad interpretation of "weapon" feeds the power of the police state, right? Kind of like how terrorism is now defined so broadly. I'm not sure you know what you're for.
"You do realize that such a broad interpretation of "weapon" feeds the power of the police state, right?"
You're really not going to hold up a pimp, as the vehicle to reproach the police state are you? Wouldn't granny, having to buy an illegal gun off the pimp, in order to protect herself against armed criminals (because of restrictions by the state) be better?
Of course granny would be the easier case. Freedom is not easy, and encroachments on freedom are often popular (think Patriot Act, and this guy). You can't stand for something only when it's popular and convenient, or you stand for nothing but yourself.
LTER, dude, boopsie...
"In June, Clardy repeatedly stomped on the face of a client with his Jordan Nike shoes when the man refused to pay Clardy’s prostitute. The man required stitches and plastic surgery after the beating. Clardy was sentenced to 100 years in prison for beating the man as well as attacking an 18-year-old prostitute so violently that she bled from her ears."
I'm really not thinking about the suffering of this guy and his "Jordan Nike" killer shoes.
While there are no "popular people" in this whole sordid saga, I can clearly pick out the worst among them. That would be the predator standing over them all, with the bloody Jordan Nike's on.
If it were up to me, he would get the same treatment he afforded others, instead of some bullshit about "the shoes made me do it".
And you?
So you're a blow with the easy wind kind of guy who believes in something so long as it is convenient to you. Got it.
I'm a little turned off by beating 18yr old girls until blood comes out of their ears...I have to say, yes.
////////////////
Furthermore (now that you've got my blood up)...you live around Clearwater if I remember right. Why don't you go down to Greenwood Ave and pass some "Jordan Nike's" out as consolation prizes to the hookers down there (tell them why, purty please) and see what their reaction is.
You might be surprised how little they think of your high minded nonsense ;-)
Much as I tire of LTER's repeated doucheness on all things rhyming with 'and', she's right on this one. The more expedient absurdities there are in the legal code that allow the Just us system to punish genuine wrongdoers beyond the usual tariffs, the more chance these same expedients will be used by the State to punish those it considers its enemies. DO you want the Rule of Law? Or the Rule of Man?
As for the 'bleeding from the ears' - is that from the ear canals? Or did he hit her upside the head and her hoop earrings pulled at her earlobes and made the piercings bleed?
We just don't know (unless, of course, you've done yer due diligence and know more of the 'facts' of this case than are presented in Tyler's snippets)
People regularly rape and murder and get sentenced to far less than 100 years.
If this pimp had stomped on a man with his bare feet and caused the same injuries, would the act be somehow less felonious and deserving of fewer years?
Shit like this brings the Just us system into (further) disrepute.
More than likely the sentence is the result of his past crimes as much as it is these current ones.
And no, this is not a defense of minimum mandatory or three strikes and you're out, which are as equally stupid with no latitude given to the judge. I guy caught numerous times shopifting, then sticks up the place (for example) is not a career criminal.
But at some point you have to take out the garbage unless we're gonna go all vigilante on bastards like the pimp...and there ain't much "law" in that...only justice ;-)
He'll get it knocked down to time served on appeal anyways, its the way it usually works.
I think LTER is nailing it right on the head here. In a police state where people are charged with terrorism and using a WMD for setting off a pipe bomb, throwing a shoe could easily be construed as assault with a deadly weapon if it's politically expedient.
Thanks for making my point better than I did. Exactly -- virtually any weapon is now considered a WMD, subjecting the perp to Federal terrorism prosecution or rendition. And now shoes count as weapons. You could probably hurt more than one person with shoes (two shoes), so I guess those are WMD's too. And the crowds cheered as the shoe wielding pimp was sent away for life.
Somebody free that pimp so he can beat on LetThemEatRand! Please!
Just a thought LTER...
http://caselaw.findlaw.com/nj-supreme-court/1649260.html
and
http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/blotter/e...
and
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/06/linden_man_accused_of_trying_t....
Love NJ...
So Dubya did escape/dodge a shoe, pardon me, a deadly weapon, which of course makes the shoe thrower a dangerous terrorist
The point is that giving someone more time based on an undefined 'dangerous weapon' is stupid.
If the jury finds him to be a danger to society based on this and prior convictions, fine, throw away the key. But doing that based on a something ridiculous like determining shoes are a dangerous weapon is stupid. This guy is the danger, not his clothing.
We've heard the same argument with those "assholes" trying to take guns from society.....sheer ignorance ...
“Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
William Shakespeare, Macbeth
You can thank central planners and Obama's socialist/crony wonderland.
A crime unpunished put the world out of balance.
Hey it's better than that blow torch story with that poor kid. Every day articles reinforce why I'm packing. If its not weaponized footwear made by flood victims for a thin dime, it's some dope who drives his truck through the doors of a convenience store for a "banana". Yes, seriously.
There is a million other left hand path stories, this one in particular is like "diet" story.
If Obama had a son, that might be him.
Good thing he doesn't do women then.
It would be perfect irony if this guy was beaten to death with the Blacks Law Dictionary.
Filing in the wrong state. In Cali, he 'd have a good chance of triple damages.
My wife has over a hundred pairs of shoes in the closet. I'm gonna have to turn her in. It's my duty.
Good idea- one way to take care of the troll......
Watch out beaniebabies this may be a new trend.
We could get funding from the prison guard unions and maybe they could give a 100k reward for all of us honest god loving guys who are constantly being barraged by ducking these dangerous weapons......
I mean? what did i do wrong?.... no guy can ever answer that one.....
see something, say sometime.
Which sheister lawywer would even accept a law suit as frivolous and idiotic as this one?
That's exactly whats wrong with this country - common sense stolen by aliens.
A shyster lawyer from the Satanic Tribe probably would. And they've been working harder to destroy the USA than anyone else!
Not defending the guy but he has a point if the jury is classifying sneakers as 'dangerous weapons'. You'd do the same also in his case. The jury are the real idiots here arbitrarily declaring things as dangerous weapons and probably illegally at the same time opening up the can of unintended consequences when having a slam dunk conviction just isn't enough. Jokers to the left, clowns to the right..........
If they outlaw Nikes, only outlaws will have Nikes.
Seriously tho, this punk is only trying to game the system and get jailhouse cred by "sticking it to the man" or "fighting the system" or some such other bullshit. The bad part is, taxpayers have to keep this SOB warm and fed until the day he dies. Rope or a bullet to the back of the head would be MUCH cheaper and simpler!!!
Just a reason for Homeland Security to require everyone to register their shoes....
Erase this fucking turd. Save the taxpayers the cost.
You lost me after: "While McDonalds "coffee is hot" warning labels and litigation was a farce of lowest-common-denominator American exceptionalism..."
Apparently you are willing to blindly accept mainstream propaganda...at least on some issues, because you clearly know nothing about the facts of that case.
Upgrade frivolous lawsuit penalty to 100 lashes.
The MacDonald's coffee lawsuit was not frivolous. It was a noble selfless act. Look it up.
Sorry I just can't get into this Oregon Tale
Brotha just helping his hoes get what's theirs. Ho's gotta eat, too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msbo6TiwA5A
I suggest you read a little on the McDonalds coffee case...
... the old woman actually suffered 2nd degree burns when the coffee feel between her legs, with skin peeling off. She went straight to surgery, and stayed at the hospitals for days. She initially claimed the hospital bill to McDonalds while suggesting the coffee temperature could be turned down. McDonalds offered her a pitance. She then, insulted, decided to sue. Only then did they discovered that McDonalds actually removed the safetly on the machine (not a machine by McDonalds) to serve the coffee dangerously hot. The reason for serving the coffee at boiling temperature was because clients usually eat first and then drink the coffee, and McDonalds realized that it was too costly remplacing the cold coffee, and that it was less costly to just get sued once in a while for burns. Purely mathematical on McDonalds side, they didn't mind putting their customers health at risk. In fact, more than 600 people per day get serious burns on McDonalds coffee. The old lady sued and won, there was punitive damages, etc. At the end, appeal after appeal, the settlement was much smaller than advertized...
... but the simple fact is that case is beeing abused, miscommunicated, misadvertized, sadly.