Polar Vortex - The Sequel: Coming To A Frozen US City Near You

Tyler Durden's picture


Just when everyone thought the infamous polar vortex is gone (if not quite forgotten, having dipped the temperatures in some part of the US to sub-Martian levels), it's baaaack. Sky News reports that America is set to be hit by another blast from the polar vortex although this time Niagara falls may not freeze, as temperatures are likely to be higher than last week's extreme conditions. "The polar plunge is expected to move south from Canada, bringing colder air and sub-zero temperatures to the US this week. Forecasters say it will sweep over the lower Mississippi Valley and Midwest on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then hit the East on Thursday. The main thrust of the cold air will follow up a couple of days later."

Polar vortex to return to US

More from Sky:

"Following the retreat of Arctic air this weekend, waves of progressively colder air will move southward over Canada this week," said Paul Pastelok, AccuWeather.com's lead long-range forecaster. "We will likely see a piece of the polar vortex break off and set up just north of the Great Lakes spanning January 16 to 20.


"This next main arctic blast will not rival, nor will be as extensive as the event last week."


Many areas are still recovering from last week's polar vortex, which saw the mercury plunge to -12C (11F) in New York City and -24C in Chicago.


A Coast Guard cutter was brought in to keep shipping lanes open, but the ice was too thick to break in places.


Residents have flocked to the river banks to take pictures of the polar conditions.


Rick Wilson, from Yardley, Pennsylvania, told an ABC TV station: "Incredible. I came down here just to take pictures of this. My grandchildren would not believe this. This looks like something you'd find in Antarctica."


Sky News weather producer Jo Robinson said: "After a milder spell, plunges of cold air are expected later in the week. “The first is expected across parts of Canada, the Midwest and eastern parts of the US over the next few days. "More significant cold air will affect those areas by the weekend, but thankfully it doesn’t look to be as cold as last week."

Of course, what is bad news for anyone who needs to buy heating at surge pricing, is great news for apologists of bad economic data, because don't look now, but January employment numbers just became "meaningless" and if the BLS issues another disappointing jobs report on the first Friday of February, it will be the weather's fault. And, "logically", if the report is great, it will be entirely due to the recovery.

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Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:02 | 4327476 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Damn, and to think this happened in winter too.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:06 | 4327509 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

Its a perfect excuse to un-taper!

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:09 | 4327520 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Weather Channel bitchez be trippin'.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:13 | 4327530 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Where's Flakmeister and his theories?

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:17 | 4327547 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Never let a Polar Vortex crisis go to waste.

Martial Law and FEMA Camp detention in 0...1...2...3...


(It's for the children!)

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:18 | 4327552 john39
john39's picture

no worries, the church of climatology will save the planet:


Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:24 | 4327575 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Everyone should build an alter to the Great Divine Al Gore, light candles, and send as much money as you have in your bank account to Al Gore's Church of Climate Change, tax deductible.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:27 | 4327584 superflex
superflex's picture

I'll just fire up the snowblower and let it idle all day.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:41 | 4327630 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



MOAR inconvenient truth?

Al Gore getting a Nobel Prize for acting in a movie about climatology is akin to Mark Hamill getting a Nobel Prize for acting in a movie about astronomy.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:44 | 4327638 Manthong
Manthong's picture

HH, you flatter him..

I think is moar like Pee Wee Herman getting a Nobel for Quantum Mechanics.

Getting near 40F around 42N  88W..

I’m out to the deck to catch some rays.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:55 | 4327674 knukles
knukles's picture

Think of it this way.

When there's no fucking excuse, they blame the weather.
Now that the economy still remains sick and soft, smelly and a disaster, just you wait to see the really new shitty statistics.


They've done went and run outa excuses, dumbfucks!

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:06 | 4327712 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

Global Warming no Climate Change no

It is Climate Inequality , there we go, this is climate inequality and Barack Hussein Obama is organizing the Obamabots to put a stop to it.  They have come up with the solution, they are going to need more money from the citizens, there will have to be moar taxes to stop this climate inequality that has gotten out of control.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:13 | 4327737 Manthong
Manthong's picture

You are on to something there…

Accordingly, the closer you get to the ideal temperature, the higher your taxes should be.

Everyone in San Diego should pay a one-time net worth tax of 50%

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 15:44 | 4328065 Lore
Lore's picture


"POLAR VORTEX" sounds grittier than "MANBEARPIG."  Nobody laughs at "POLAR VORTEX." 


Mon, 01/13/2014 - 16:27 | 4328205 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

that's what's weird about it. It's just freezing cold. not a lot of snow. i've driven in that weather in Alberta...VERY dangerous. beware of frozen pipes.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 17:12 | 4328372 Lore
Lore's picture

What is your region?  I visited parts of BC, Alberta and Ontario this winter and saw snow like I haven't seen since the 70s.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:32 | 4327798 PTR
PTR's picture

Next they'll blame zero hedge.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 16:00 | 4328117 theprofromdover
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Nobel prizes-

Strangely enough, I predict -with utmost sincerity- that Homer Simpson will be awarded the Nobel Prize for Mathematics within this decade.

He nearly disproved Fermat's last theorem you know.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:26 | 4327582 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Fuckin' climate change!  Al Gore was right, it's getting hotter.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:14 | 4327743 666
666's picture

It the gubmint's fault: If the INS would patrol the borders like they're supposed to, the evil vortex wouldn't be allowed to come into the USSA.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:21 | 4327765 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture


they ain't my theories and what is happening used to be called a normal winter in '70s...

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:26 | 4327784 sleigher
Mon, 01/13/2014 - 15:26 | 4327990 akak
akak's picture

Polar blasts in the Lower 48, and yet we have had a relatively mild winter so far in Alaska, as well as last June and July breaking all records for heat.


Mon, 01/13/2014 - 17:30 | 4328434 Eeyores Enigma
Eeyores Enigma's picture

SOmebody left the damn fridge door open again.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 20:13 | 4328974 Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

"Here we go again...      AGAIN..." - Speed Tuggman

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 19:03 | 4328713 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Polar amplification sure is a bitch.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:15 | 4327539 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

I wonder if the Polar Vortex will affect this years orange crop forecasts for the fcoj futures?


Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:22 | 4327566 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Not to worry. They spray all the citrus trees with water thereby allowing ice to form on the citrus fruit which amazingly protects the trees and the fruit from damage.

Of course the amount of water needed to save the fruit draws down the aquifer level to the point where large sinkholes open up swallowing houses all over the citrus growing area.

Speaking of swallowing.......did ya hear the one about Obama and Reggie Love?

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:43 | 4327642 WarHorse
WarHorse's picture

They spray warm water that doesnt freeze numpty

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:11 | 4327728 Shitters_Full
Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:14 | 4327535 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

and to stay unemployed....

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:22 | 4327771 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

If this happened in June does it mean we can call it global warming?

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:02 | 4327478 frankTHE COIN
frankTHE COIN's picture

Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:14 | 4327536 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, right on the tree.  Damnit!

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:02 | 4327479 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

We have Global Warming here West of the Rockies.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:14 | 4327528 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Peculiar statement if taken literally...

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:30 | 4327597 qqqqtrader
qqqqtrader's picture

He's smack dab in the middle of a tropical vortex!

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:06 | 4327711 knukles
knukles's picture

Fukushima Vortex

One of by air, two if by sea

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:15 | 4327538 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Totally, Spaz. If this isn't Global Warming (cue creepy sounds), what is?


p.s. we need rain, badly. Pray to the raingods and do the raindance. Otherwise we're back to getting tickets for watering your lawn and washing your car, etc.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:27 | 4327583 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Yesterday no chemtrails over my area.

Go out today and they're crisscrossing the sky with their fantastic cloud show.

All we need now are some lasers, Ecstasy, and glow sticks and every thing will be COOL again!

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:36 | 4327622 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Where are you, PE?

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:07 | 4327716 knukles
knukles's picture

Trails several days ago, heavy.  Today, none


Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:50 | 4327667 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I liked the no-rain thing if only because my son and I are building him a treehouse this month. Weekends have been flawless perfect-o. And the BikeParty rides have been massive!

But yeah this summer we're going to be in for a lot of suckness. The downtown beaver family will have to rent a condo when shit dries up.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 14:58 | 4327873 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Happy treehouse building!

It's been a busy last few months with work & dealing with things, so skateboarding has unfortunately been put on the backburner. This beautiful weather is too good to pass up - I plan on skating everyday again like I used to until the rain comes (early to work, early to skate, makes a day long and great). We need in NorCal what we got in '05 last, an entire month (March it was back then) of non-stop rain.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:15 | 4327540 RobD
RobD's picture

As my dad would say "It's dryer then a popcorn fart around here". Almost no snow in the Sierra and if that does not change it's going to be a nasty fire season.

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 16:42 | 4328270 The worst trader
The worst trader's picture

I believe that is Fukashima fallout keeping you taosty and warm.........

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:02 | 4327482 prains
prains's picture

it's not that bad if you burn bankers in oil drums for heat, in time spring will arrive and the world will be less a few bankers


win - win 

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:03 | 4327484 texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

The sell side whores on CNBS have to be orgasmic...another weather event to blame poor retail sales and job numbers on next month.  Party on, Garth!

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 15:49 | 4328075 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

WTF? You mean CNBS is still on the air? Who in their right mind even watches that BS channel anymore? They must be running on fumes as far as viewers are concerned.

As for the topic, jsut checked the weather channel online. Does not look like that cold is going to hit here in mid Oklahoma. 50's and above the next ten days. Thursday 61, Sunday 63. Yesterday was 74. Nice! Spent most of the day outdoors, cleaning vehicles and smoking Big Ol Stogies, whilst sipping on some Jim Beam Devil's Cut bourbon.  ;-)

Mon, 01/13/2014 - 13:03 | 4327491 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Cold weather in January....everybody run for your lives!!! 

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