When Hopium Fails

Tyler Durden's picture

Presented with no comment...


As @BenedictEvans so eloquently noted - this blast from the past may just be resurrected as a candidate for financial news headline of the year... 2014...


(just for those curious how The FT would allow the running of such a hopium-devastating headline... the name of the company may interest some)

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Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Hopium is religion of masses.

yrad's picture

Same as it ever was...


Boris Alatovkrap's picture

You are maybe find yourself living in shotgun shack

You are maybe find yourself in other part of world

You are maybe find yourself behind wheel of large truck

You are maybe find yourself in spacious outside viewing apartment with well endow wife

You are maybe ask yourself, Boris, how do I get here?

Letting day go by, let vodka hold me down

Letting day go by, copper flowing underground

Boris is take artist liberty of self adaptation of very thoughtful lyrical accomplishment of David Byrne.


BLOTTO's picture

Yes, same as it ever was...


Or, 'Meet the new boss - same as the old boss' -the Who (Wont Get Fooled Again)

'In reality, hope is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torment of man'

Fredrich W. N.



666's picture

I don't subscribe to the FT, so could someone please tell me the name of the company?


NoDebt's picture

'Everything Everywhere' IS the name of the company.  It's the merger of T-Mobile and some other telecom company in Great Britain.

They disappointed analysts with some crappy blah blah blah numbers in blah blah blah.  Doesn't matter.  The headline is the joke.  Get it?

Manthong's picture


Analism is a scatological brain disorder of those who purport to rate financial insecurities..

theprofromdover's picture

'Everything Everywhere'

Did the marketing geniuses who came up with that name intend us to call it Eee Eee?

I'm sure they call it FA Anywhere on the streets

Pseudonymous's picture

So, where is the headline:

Everything Everywhere and the State Reach Merger Agreement



superflex's picture

They peddle in Hopium futures.


Freddie's picture

FT is a shitty paper now but they all are except IBD.   Murdoch owns it.  I am not being anti Fox News as all of TV is total shit and I stopped watching years ago.  CNBC was the worst.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Please, you are try Russia Time - English Edition! Is hard probing news and very pretty anchor woman.

StychoKiller's picture

So, is pretty anchor woman have needs of hard probing? :>D

matrix2012's picture

Boris, did you just mean Russia Today?  RT.com

dunno about the 'Russia Time' thing :-)

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Yes, Boris is mean "Russia Today". Boris is confuse by prior post say "FT - Financial Time" and is just repeat "Time" by subliminal suggestion.

MontgomeryScott's picture

Boris need musical accompaniment.

Is true, find high quality original video is difficult, Boris. MTV is communist corporate govenment takeover (offence not intended, comrade). Youtube, is much bad as well.

Chief Engineer, Enterprise, find alternate version (well, Chekov helped, laddie! D'ya ken?)


You may ask yourself, 'Am I right? Am I wrong?'

And you may say to yourself, 'My GOD! What have I done?'


Wahooo's picture

Steeple everywhere, better go fetch the gumboots.

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Catholicism is the religion of masses.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Hahahahaha! Mr. Astroid, you are very smart funny comment! Boris is also make religious bigotry joke...

Mormen* is religion of psychedelic drug!

(* Boris is learn from two young CIA agent knock on door Mormen is really call Church of LSD)

Dinero D. Profit's picture


This is what religious comedy is: 

 Two Mormon missionaries walk across the lawn, slip on a banana peel, and fall into a cesspool.

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

I'm pretty sure that is very funny, just because Mormons or missionaries of any tribe belong in cesspools right? Been a long day and worse still, I burnt through all my smart by 11:00am this morning.

Cue theists: Asteroid, you sure you didn't burn through all your smart by 7:00am.

Dexter Morgan's picture

What is the difference between LDS and LSD? 

One you go on a trip and one you go on a mission, or.....One's a dope and one is a drug.

MontgomeryScott's picture

@ Asteroid,

I think they might have missed it.

Masses, Catholics...

OBAMA is the religion of Hopiu-nomics...

Fish Gone Bad's picture

I for one missed its pure cleverness.  Bravo and thank you.

boogerbently's picture

Do you know how to get a priest to have sex with a nun?

Tasty Sandwich's picture

I've actually had people interrupt me and tell me to stop explaining my economic/financial views because they don't want to know.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Knowledge is antidote for hopium addiction. Withdrawal is painful symptom so you are not surprise sheeple addict is reject treatment of cure.

boogerbently's picture

You dress her like an altar boy.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

This is corollary to dress Thai boy like cocktail waitress?

MontgomeryScott's picture


If you are doing it correctly, they will stick their fingers in their ears as they run/walk away, crying nonsensical sounds like, 'Krugman told me!, or 'Cramer told me!, or 'My wife told me!'.

All you can do is to shake your head, and know that what you speak is truth, as you continue on your journey. Like Boris said, it's a BITCH to come down from a drug high (or a heroin addiction).

That reminds me: Where is my credit card, anyway? Wifey wants a big-screen and a hamburger...

logicalman's picture

Me too.

I try to always welcome information that I may have missed.

I don't neccessarily believe it, but if it sounds interesting I will do some research.

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

I'm confused. This is the definition of hope now isn't it? Means more QE doesn't it? This is what markets want isn't it?

I've been reading ZH too long, I don't know my ear from asshole anymore.

fonzannoon's picture

I'm with you asteroid. Clearly the fed was waaaay to quick to start to unwind QE. I mean what was the problem with 85 bil a month? Things were just starting to turn around. I mean we were aaaaalmost there. But those damn hawks at the fed always fighting the inflationary boogie monster just had to Volker us before it was time. But you know what? All mama Yellen has to do is break wind in the direction of 85 bil again, or maybe even 95 bil, and that big bad stock market will forgive those inflation hawks. That's what my chips are on anyway.

centerline's picture

When gum flapping is all you really have, you get really, really damn good at it.

Dammit, Janet...

MontgomeryScott's picture

Rick Moranis is the guy, and I recognize the girl as well (but can't remember her name yet).

I used to be married to a girl (the FIRST ex-wife) who made a habit of going to the midnight showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show down on the Strand in Redondo Beach (CA). She had lots of BIC lighters...

MOST here may not understand your reference, but I get a kick out of it!



centerline's picture

Thanks MS - I figured it would be pretty obscure.  Nice catch.

Notarocketscientist's picture

As Krugman would say 'just a few trillion more and we'll have a robust recovery'

I wonder what Krugman is saying about the 10B taper - he must be having a hissy fit?  

Fish Gone Bad's picture

It's kinda late now to be changing the game plan.  Print away!!!!

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Is it just me or does Krugman permanently have that shocked look of ZH's deer in the head lights. I think there is an opening for WB7 there. Imagine if Krugman was actually the deer in the headlights. I'm not sure whether that would qualify as ironic, comical or salt in the wound. Who would the joke be on?

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Surely Fonz if the Fed back peddle all bets are off, surely, this just can't keep going on. It's already driven any remaining sane fundamental market analyst to the wall. It's got so crazy the english language doesn't even work because the word fundamental doesn't even apply any more to the the phrase "fundamental analysis". Can any market participant ever, in their wildest dreams, imagine investing in the share market comes down to guessing what the Fed is going to SAY, not even do, but SAY next. Even as I write that I feel my blood pressure rising because it just doesn't make sense. Even the fact that we all recognise that's what investing has become should be enough to pull the rug out from the insanity but it doesn't, which makes it even more insane. I can't even string a coherent set of thoughts together on the subject any more because reality no longer applies, something else does, I just don't know what it is. Then I think, OK, screw igt I'll go long but then I look at the charts and think, that's crazy, I'd be walking into an upper cut so I think right, I'll go short, then the Fed say's something that makes the market rocket and take out all my stops, so then I reneg and think, OK, thats it I'm going long then some shit happens that knocks a 1% of the market taking out the stops the other way so then I think, right, finally the trend is reversing at last, my short strategy will now work and then the Fed says some more shit making the market rocket wiping out my stops again and I yell FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK  YYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU BBBBBBBEEEEEERRRRRRNNNNNNAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEE and buy gold.


eclectic syncretist's picture

Fonz, the Fed has said it is tapering.  To turn on a dime and stop already would be tantamount to admitting it was wrong, which the Fed can not do because it's legitimacy and power is based entirely on the populace believing it knows best and doesn't make mistakes in these matters. Because of this the Fed must continue to taper or at most hold steady for at least the next several months, and just as the banksters front run the fed on the way up over the last five years, they will front run it on the way down too.  Bottom line is, as a regular poster here whom I enjoy reading, I hope you will consider at least going flat here until the market response to earnings plays out.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Flow > Stock

Besides, the tolerance to QE is so high that the heroin necessary to give the markets a temporary buzz will kill off what remains of the economy.

There's a wicked virus blowing in from the far east, too.

fonzannoon's picture

It's Stock that matters now, not flow. The fed knows they see the finish line in sight. They just need to keep it together for a bit longer, shit maybe they are there already...but soon enough they will own enough of the bond market that there will be no rebellion through a yield explosion. The question as to whether the currency collapses when we reach that point is an open one. My bet is that it does not. 

This is an opportunity to get short bonds, get long stawks, and short those miners. It's a manufactured dip, and it will be bought violently when it turns back around. I mean are we really getting amped up over a 1% down day?

If/when the real crash happens all you will see is the emergency broadcast system on CNBC.

centerline's picture

Agree. Our time is not yet. The answer should be "well played" in terms of the Fed. Really. Not defending anything here. Just calling it for what it is.  Like a game of high stakes poker.  Somewhere else (EU perhaps) goes full retard before us (history helps here) and capital flees for any deep market... primarily US equities, real estate, etc.  Fed looks like heros, politicians take the credit, sheeple rejoice (because the boob tube says to, while "Rome" continues to burn around us), blah, blah.

TruthInSunshine's picture

fonzanoon, you confused the "Stock" in my "Flow > Stock" above with stocks (equities).

'Stock' in the context that I used it referred to the total holdings that stagnate on the Fed's balance sheet, whether these holding were MBS, tnotes, etc., and "Flow" refers to the total new amount of conjured fiat pumped out to make ADDITIONAL ONGOING PURCHASES OF NEW ISSUANCES OF MBS, TNOTES, ETC.

So, IOW, the Fed's balance sheet only affects risk on asset classes to the extent that IT IS GROWING, and it doesn't matter or have an effect based in how large it is at any given static point in time.

BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

I know I want to ask you a question about a group of private banking entities owning a vast amount of US bonds for reasons other than them being a sound investment and providing returns aligned to the risk profile of said entities however . . . . . . . . . ooooo, look, a toe nail clipping that looks like a broken paddle pop stick . . . . . . . . now where was I . . . . . . . . oh yes . . . . . . . . fuck you Bernanke you mother fucking fuckery fuck.