The Middle East Explained - In One Minute

Tyler Durden's picture


With Islamic extremists raising their ominous-looking flags over Falluja and Ramadi again, it's not looking too good in Iraq (or the rest of the Middle East). Sure, Mark Firoe notes, Iraqi government forces may take back some territory they lost, but it's never a good sign when you have to shell your own country to maintain order. Confused at the proxy-wars, terrorists, statists, and just who the US is friends with? Have no fear, the following brief clip will explain it all...


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Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:28 | 4332254 fonestar
fonestar's picture



Satoshi is great!

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:30 | 4332267 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Please martyr yourself. 

Virtually or otherwise.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:37 | 4332286 john39
john39's picture

so which al-cia-duh is this?  the ones that the U.S. Government is funding to kill civilians in Syria?  or the ones we are supposed believe knocked down three sky scrapers with box cutters, including a magical collapse of a building that wasn't even touched?

more likely, these are just people fed up with another U.S. puppet government.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:47 | 4332321 ACP
ACP's picture

"'s never a good sign when you have to shell your own country to maintain order."

Tell me about it...a lotta shelling is going to be have to be done here just to get our Constituional rights BACK.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:00 | 4332350 zaphod
zaphod's picture

Sounds like a terrorist to me. 

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:09 | 4332389 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Malcontent at the very least.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:46 | 4332506 ILLILLILLI
ILLILLILLI's picture

Here is the true story, from artist Nina Paley:

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:48 | 4332516 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

+$1.1 Trillion

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 06:53 | 4333515 Acet
Acet's picture

Look guys, it's all very simple: there's good jihadis and there's bad jihadis.

For example, Bin Laden was a bad jihadi which is why he was hunted down and killed, except in the 80s when he was fighting the Soviet Union in Afghanistan when the was a good jihadi, which is why he was given portable Ground-to-Air missiles.

Same thing in Syria where this week jihadists are bad 'cause they're actually fighting against US supported rebel movements, but a couple of months ago they were good because they were fighting against a Syrian government that wouldn't bow down to the interests of that greatest of US allies (and bestest source of skyscraper destroying suicide pilots) - Saudi Arabia.

It really is THAT simple.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:33 | 4332613 Ranger_Will
Ranger_Will's picture


"Oh...this is good. You guys always bring me the VERY best violence."

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 22:27 | 4332791 flacon
flacon's picture

Super animation. I love the cynicism mixed with humour. Thanks for posting it ILLI. 

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:37 | 4332643 bigrooster
bigrooster's picture

We will win or die trying.  What other option is there?  Live in chains?  I believe some dude said it better than I ever could a few hundred years ago.

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” 
Samuel Adams



Keywords:  FUCK the following:  Obama, Ben, Mr. Yellen, Greenspawn, GS, Blackrock. JPM...damn too many to say fuck off to but you know who you are!

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:57 | 4332689 Constitutional ...
Constitutional Republic's picture


+ forever. No surrender. I for one care nothing for the bleating of venal cowards, nor the ways of foreigners who are entitled to their own place at their own cost. No more war for foreigners.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 22:07 | 4332712 Ranger_Will
Ranger_Will's picture

+ Forever.

Agreed. It's almost game time for the Live Free, Or Die Bowl with the Patriots playing the State. 

I'm placing my life, my fortune, my sacred honor on the Patriots. Who's bring the hot-wings and beer? Maybe some Sam Adams...

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 16:12 | 4335034 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Of the things you risk, only honor matters.  The fortune is just stuff.  Your life, you will die eventually no matter what.  Your honor is who you are and why you lived. 

You can keep the Sam Adams.  I really don't like their beer.  Gimme a pale ale, an altbeir or an english ale any day.

Give 'em hell.  Ranger, lead the way and remember the rules.


Tue, 01/14/2014 - 22:48 | 4332870 Blazed
Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:46 | 4332291 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

There is one country cloaked like a Romulan Bird of Prey in that disinformational cartoon.

I want my minute back and "News in a nutsack" is worth balls.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:11 | 4332564 john39
john39's picture

the cloaking device must be running low and juice, because its getting pretty obvious who is orchestrating most of the wars.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 04:31 | 4333445 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Yeah, amazing how easy it was to find some guy who sounds like the "Rocky and Bullwinkle" announcer.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:32 | 4332274 Uncle Remus
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Gold is greater!

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:55 | 4332338 thatguy007
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Allah's snakbar serves mean pork BBQ ribs

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:07 | 4332378 Uncle Remus
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The cook's a Chinaman.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 23:40 | 4333032 ACP
ACP's picture

+1 God damn that's funny!

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 11:38 | 4333997 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Can I have your bitcoins when you blow yourself up?

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:31 | 4332272 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?


     This is all you need to know if you want to understand the present world.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:04 | 4332363 blindman
blindman's picture

@ "who can know it?"
only the head in communion with the heart.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 23:28 | 4333002 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Hemispheres was such a great Rush album.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 23:52 | 4333066 Rock On Roger
Rock On Roger's picture

The Trees

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:00 | 4332543 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

amen, and for all the daily angst here over ruling elite and bankers taking advantage of the rest,  ZH should keep Psalm 37 on its header - amazingly applicable to today - addressing fretting over the wicked succeeding -

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:20 | 4332585 Deer Hunter
Deer Hunter's picture

He will be a wild donkey of a man, his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.

From God's Word the Bible

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:39 | 4332626 Ranger_Will
Ranger_Will's picture

Jer 17:9 ¶ The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

This is all you need to know if you want to understand women.

There fixed it for ya.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 01:47 | 4333309 cornflakesdisease
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1st John 5:19  "We know we originate with God, but the whole world is lying in the [power of the] wicked one (Satan)."

This is all you need to know if you want to understand the present world

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:33 | 4332276 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

There's a minute and a half wasted that I'll never get back.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:34 | 4332281 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Wait for the prequel.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:38 | 4332478 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I knew I should have closed the tab as soon as I heard his voice.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:36 | 4332284 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Different century, different weapons, same shit.

The Habib Hatfields versus the Mohammed McCoys.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:37 | 4332287 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

When my buddy came back from a 13 month tour in Iraq 3 years ago, he told me as soon as we leave, the civil war will start, Sunni vs. Shia (Iran), and that they would continue their 1,000 year war of vendetta. He was right. Thousands of our troops sacrificed for nothing, trillions of dollars also. So I say, may George Bush and Barry Bathouse rot in Hell for eternity, pieces of shit cocksucking motherfuckers, and all those that enabled the war in Congress and at the top levels of the military. Fuck you all.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:47 | 4332319 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Don't forget Cheney and those $1,000 Halliburton macaroni and hot-dog(!) trays.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:06 | 4332377 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Aw c'mon - they were milled from solid mil-grade titanium. Guaranteed Camel Spider proof... well, Camel Spider resistant, at any rate.

Well worth $1000 to know our boys eat hotdogs from the world's finest platters.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:19 | 4332418 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

I was referring to the hot-dogs(!) and macaroni proper.

The trays were made in China as were the macaroni and "hot-dogs" (!)

Halliburton (via Dick) just happened to win the no-bid.

No brainer.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:40 | 4332459 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

Cheney has a mechanical heart that runs on diesel, how else can this evil asshole cocksucker greedy bastard keep on living?  The man would stomp on newborns to grab dollar bills off floors. 

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 22:12 | 4332747 squexx
squexx's picture

That describes just about every member of the Satanic Tribe I've ever met, too! Only they's call you an anti-Semite if you were in their way!

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 00:46 | 4333204 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Cheney's not Jewish is he?

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 04:42 | 4333446 zhandax
zhandax's picture

What, he hasn't done enough to piss you off already?

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 04:40 | 4333447 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

Not sure about the rest of him, but his heart and the jackboots surely are. 

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 23:01 | 4332914 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

It's  a real heart. The orphan that was ahead of him in the transplant line died in a tragic car crash.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:53 | 4332334 prains
prains's picture

....and to think how many millions of people called it exactly as you stated the day this pile of shiite came to fruition........and how many more were completely suckered that same day

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:35 | 4332463 Unknown User
Unknown User's picture

The fact that given a chance Sunni and Shia would fight was common knowledge before the war. As a side note, the cartoon got almost everything wrong.  I wonder why…


Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:38 | 4332479 piceridu
piceridu's picture

It's amazing how the US, with their big stick, starts smacking hornet's nests all over the middle east and are surprised that the hornets are pissed. The US is the impetus for the turmoil, mayhem and suffering, not only to the poor brown people of the middle east, but to American and other allied countries mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters of ignorant young and poor mercenaries that somehow believed the narrative that they were defending freedom.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:42 | 4332490 shermacman
shermacman's picture

Howard Zinn?!

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