The Middle East Explained - In One Minute

Tyler Durden's picture

With Islamic extremists raising their ominous-looking flags over Falluja and Ramadi again, it's not looking too good in Iraq (or the rest of the Middle East). Sure, Mark Firoe notes, Iraqi government forces may take back some territory they lost, but it's never a good sign when you have to shell your own country to maintain order. Confused at the proxy-wars, terrorists, statists, and just who the US is friends with? Have no fear, the following brief clip will explain it all...


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fonestar's picture



Satoshi is great!

The Gooch's picture

Please martyr yourself. 

Virtually or otherwise.

john39's picture

so which al-cia-duh is this?  the ones that the U.S. Government is funding to kill civilians in Syria?  or the ones we are supposed believe knocked down three sky scrapers with box cutters, including a magical collapse of a building that wasn't even touched?

more likely, these are just people fed up with another U.S. puppet government.

ACP's picture

"'s never a good sign when you have to shell your own country to maintain order."

Tell me about it...a lotta shelling is going to be have to be done here just to get our Constituional rights BACK.

zaphod's picture

Sounds like a terrorist to me. 

Uncle Remus's picture

Malcontent at the very least.

Acet's picture

Look guys, it's all very simple: there's good jihadis and there's bad jihadis.

For example, Bin Laden was a bad jihadi which is why he was hunted down and killed, except in the 80s when he was fighting the Soviet Union in Afghanistan when the was a good jihadi, which is why he was given portable Ground-to-Air missiles.

Same thing in Syria where this week jihadists are bad 'cause they're actually fighting against US supported rebel movements, but a couple of months ago they were good because they were fighting against a Syrian government that wouldn't bow down to the interests of that greatest of US allies (and bestest source of skyscraper destroying suicide pilots) - Saudi Arabia.

It really is THAT simple.

Ranger_Will's picture


"Oh...this is good. You guys always bring me the VERY best violence."

flacon's picture

Super animation. I love the cynicism mixed with humour. Thanks for posting it ILLI. 

bigrooster's picture

We will win or die trying.  What other option is there?  Live in chains?  I believe some dude said it better than I ever could a few hundred years ago.

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” 
Samuel Adams



Keywords:  FUCK the following:  Obama, Ben, Mr. Yellen, Greenspawn, GS, Blackrock. JPM...damn too many to say fuck off to but you know who you are!

Constitutional Republic's picture


+ forever. No surrender. I for one care nothing for the bleating of venal cowards, nor the ways of foreigners who are entitled to their own place at their own cost. No more war for foreigners.

Ranger_Will's picture

+ Forever.

Agreed. It's almost game time for the Live Free, Or Die Bowl with the Patriots playing the State. 

I'm placing my life, my fortune, my sacred honor on the Patriots. Who's bring the hot-wings and beer? Maybe some Sam Adams...

TheReplacement's picture

Of the things you risk, only honor matters.  The fortune is just stuff.  Your life, you will die eventually no matter what.  Your honor is who you are and why you lived. 

You can keep the Sam Adams.  I really don't like their beer.  Gimme a pale ale, an altbeir or an english ale any day.

Give 'em hell.  Ranger, lead the way and remember the rules.


Supernova Born's picture

There is one country cloaked like a Romulan Bird of Prey in that disinformational cartoon.

I want my minute back and "News in a nutsack" is worth balls.

john39's picture

the cloaking device must be running low and juice, because its getting pretty obvious who is orchestrating most of the wars.

zhandax's picture

Yeah, amazing how easy it was to find some guy who sounds like the "Rocky and Bullwinkle" announcer.

Uncle Remus's picture


Gold is greater!

thatguy007's picture

Allah's snakbar serves mean pork BBQ ribs

TheReplacement's picture

Can I have your bitcoins when you blow yourself up?

Hedgetard55's picture

Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?


     This is all you need to know if you want to understand the present world.

blindman's picture

@ "who can know it?"
only the head in communion with the heart.

NOTW777's picture

amen, and for all the daily angst here over ruling elite and bankers taking advantage of the rest,  ZH should keep Psalm 37 on its header - amazingly applicable to today - addressing fretting over the wicked succeeding -

Deer Hunter's picture

He will be a wild donkey of a man, his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.

From God's Word the Bible

Ranger_Will's picture

Jer 17:9 ¶ The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

This is all you need to know if you want to understand women.

There fixed it for ya.

cornflakesdisease's picture

1st John 5:19  "We know we originate with God, but the whole world is lying in the [power of the] wicked one (Satan)."

This is all you need to know if you want to understand the present world

Ignatius's picture

There's a minute and a half wasted that I'll never get back.

Skateboarder's picture

I knew I should have closed the tab as soon as I heard his voice.

pupdog1's picture

Different century, different weapons, same shit.

The Habib Hatfields versus the Mohammed McCoys.

Hedgetard55's picture

When my buddy came back from a 13 month tour in Iraq 3 years ago, he told me as soon as we leave, the civil war will start, Sunni vs. Shia (Iran), and that they would continue their 1,000 year war of vendetta. He was right. Thousands of our troops sacrificed for nothing, trillions of dollars also. So I say, may George Bush and Barry Bathouse rot in Hell for eternity, pieces of shit cocksucking motherfuckers, and all those that enabled the war in Congress and at the top levels of the military. Fuck you all.

The Gooch's picture

Don't forget Cheney and those $1,000 Halliburton macaroni and hot-dog(!) trays.

BigJim's picture

Aw c'mon - they were milled from solid mil-grade titanium. Guaranteed Camel Spider proof... well, Camel Spider resistant, at any rate.

Well worth $1000 to know our boys eat hotdogs from the world's finest platters.

The Gooch's picture

I was referring to the hot-dogs(!) and macaroni proper.

The trays were made in China as were the macaroni and "hot-dogs" (!)

Halliburton (via Dick) just happened to win the no-bid.

No brainer.

caShOnlY's picture

Cheney has a mechanical heart that runs on diesel, how else can this evil asshole cocksucker greedy bastard keep on living?  The man would stomp on newborns to grab dollar bills off floors. 

squexx's picture

That describes just about every member of the Satanic Tribe I've ever met, too! Only they's call you an anti-Semite if you were in their way!

zhandax's picture

What, he hasn't done enough to piss you off already?

Paveway IV's picture

Not sure about the rest of him, but his heart and the jackboots surely are. 

pupdog1's picture

It's  a real heart. The orphan that was ahead of him in the transplant line died in a tragic car crash.

prains's picture

....and to think how many millions of people called it exactly as you stated the day this pile of shiite came to fruition........and how many more were completely suckered that same day

Unknown User's picture

The fact that given a chance Sunni and Shia would fight was common knowledge before the war. As a side note, the cartoon got almost everything wrong.  I wonder why…


piceridu's picture

It's amazing how the US, with their big stick, starts smacking hornet's nests all over the middle east and are surprised that the hornets are pissed. The US is the impetus for the turmoil, mayhem and suffering, not only to the poor brown people of the middle east, but to American and other allied countries mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters of ignorant young and poor mercenaries that somehow believed the narrative that they were defending freedom.