US Foreign Policy Hits New Lows After Israel Mocks John Kerry; Update - Israel Apologizes

Tyler Durden's picture


Update: it was inevitable. Israel has apologized:

Just when you thought US foreign policy under John Kerry couldn't plumb new lows, here comes Israel, mocking... John Kerry.

But it wasn't Israel's mocking of Kerry that was embarrassing: after Syria, Israel is hardly a big fan of Hillary's replacement who brought the Middle East to the verge of a YouTube clip fabricated war, and then promptly slank back to his yacht. It was the spirited White House defense. To wit from Reuters:

The White House on Tuesday denounced reported comments by Israel's defense minister that were sharply critical of U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry.


White House spokesman Jay Carney responded to reports that Israeli military Moshe Yaalon said Kerry's pursuit of Middle East peace is out of an "incomprehensible obsession and a messianic feeling."


"To question Secretary Kerry's motives and distort his proposals is not something we would expect from the defense minister of a close ally," Carney said.

Well, dear "Jay", while the US is stuck manipulating the stock market in its 5th year of attempting to trickle down the wealth effect, and defending Obama's disastrous insurance ponzi scheme legacy, China (and increasingly Russia) are dividing up the world among them: from Africa, to Syria, to everywhere else, all the while soaking up all the gold that is not nailed down. So by all means - be prepared for more surprises.

As for Kerry's "messianic feeling" - was anyone actually surprised?

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Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:25 | 4331293 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Lurch is a joke. Just another political suit. 

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:28 | 4331313 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

To Israel

the U S A aint going to be your lapdog forever. Go fight your own battles and stop relying on America to do your dirty work.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:33 | 4331318 Popo
Popo's picture

Well, it is pretty easy to make fun of Odo.

How many countries have a 70 year old (male) Secretary of State who gets a face lift to look prettier?

At least he proved that there is a male equivalent to the Stepford Wife...

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:34 | 4331343 Arius
Arius's picture

+1 Yaalon!

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:39 | 4331357 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

If "slank" isn't a word, it should be.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:43 | 4331371 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Is there a single distinguishable moment in history which clearly marks the end of an empire?

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:46 | 4331387 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Tyler..., does this mean you're calling the bottom?

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:48 | 4331395 Dick Gazinia
Dick Gazinia's picture


Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:04 | 4331452 akak
akak's picture

John Kerry, Secretariat of State.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:06 | 4331464 quintago
quintago's picture

You heard the man.....cut all funding to Israel's defense.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:17 | 4331501 knukles
knukles's picture

End of Empire Tell:

Your "enemy" (Vlad the Bad) makes your ass wait and stew for hours...
Your "ally" tells you to "fuck off" in no uncertain DiploSpeak...

Whazzzzat say about leadership (oxymoron?)

If I could lead a transformation it'd look like this one!

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:21 | 4331522 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Silly Israelis.   

Everybody knows that its Obama (Dear Leader, the ONE, Lightbringer) who is the Messiah.

Lurch is his prophet.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:19 | 4331997 Manthong
Manthong's picture

To allude to a comment I made in a previous thread, all Horseface Kerry has to do is throw the  several purple ouchie medals he amazingly "earned" in three months or so over the Great Wall of China to stir our patriotism.

Hmm.. maybe he should accuse B.O. of acting like Jeng-giss Con, too.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:35 | 4332053 Keyser
Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:42 | 4332110 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

Wars are UNFORGIVABLY expensive and evil.....unless the Dems start them.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:32 | 4332457 old naughty
old naughty's picture

pawnmaster: "roosters fighting in my cage..."

"stop them crowing."

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 21:56 | 4332691 clymer
clymer's picture

nothing like a little post-surgical shiner to demonstrate to the world just how irrelevant and otherwise disgusting you are as a human being.


(although I did like him as the Senator in this movie: )

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:51 | 4332156 giggler321
giggler321's picture

Kerry response:  Your anti semite

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:38 | 4332475 old naughty
old naughty's picture

No, he wont.

He would continue to lurch forward his "Palestine peace in 9 month" (said July '13)...

Time's running short... reality's a bitch.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:34 | 4332280 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

As long as military aid is cut to every Arab country in the Middle East simultaneously excellent idea should be done tomorrow.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:09 | 4331472 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Now watch the Jewish controlled MSM turn extremely conservative to support a Republican president who will strongly defend Israel against the "evil axis" !

CNN and MSNBC will vanish quickly along with all their retarded liberal shit.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:11 | 4331972 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

While I don't have strong feeling about Israel, one way or another, I do have strong feelings about making commitment and my word. The US is saying one thing and doing another, with Israel, like they are doing with everyone else, including its own citizens. For the US to negotiate in contradiction with our allies is a slap in the face that makes no one look good and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to advance any peaceful pathways. More distrust, more chaos, more stupidity. To this moment no one knows what this means, except Iran coming out claiming complete and utter capitulation by America. I don't believe in interventionism, much less bullying, but looking weak, flaccid and flatulent is just fucked up. Maybe it advances someone's goals but not anyone who cares whether they look like a fool.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:19 | 4332010 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Allies? You mean like Saudi Arabia?

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:33 | 4332073 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

I mean anyone we claim to be allied with, even Libya. We fuck everyone we claim to befriend. Just for once I would like to see us stand up and say what we stand for and follow our actions with words. We tell people of other countries what they should do and infer we will back them and then disappear. I look at Syria, which we should have had nothing to do with. We incentivised people there to rebel against their government, even to supply arms and logistics, and then we dump them. Not all that different than we did in Iraq, instigating an uprising against Saddam and then...nothing. We should leave those people alone or stand with them but not fucking lie to everyone and make matters worse. They have Made this deal with Iran and told the world that they have stopped Iran form developing nuke weapons..but we know they are doing it anyway. Then we will turn around and fund some shit deal to overthrow them all while patting them on the back. It just sucks to have no spine, no morals or honor what so ever. America has been fully depreciated as to any moral values, what so ever.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:48 | 4332115 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Quit using "we". The "money" that funds this imperialist resource grab was stolen from "we" through the greatest ponzi evah! Lybia got fucked because of (arms/oil/mineral) shipping lanes and saying fuck you to the "dollar". Just like everyone else that doesn't have a central bank in the club or oil or 3/5 of the world's poppy.

Also. "we" armed both sides in Syria. 

Same as it ever was.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 19:09 | 4332213 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

So are "WE" or are we not "WE"? Now I'm confused. So it was someone else that broke into your car while I was just watching, so "I'm" OK?

Just thinking the "WE" the people, have some responsibility here, but maybe not. You are probably right, it was the other guy.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 23:41 | 4333035 Bernankenstein
Bernankenstein's picture

Mr. Ed says: "If I had a son, he would look like John Kerry". Naaaaay.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:48 | 4332139 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Why would anyone apologize to a "kept man"?
Where's Richard Gere when you need him?
Gerbils, John?

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 17:29 | 4331818 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

I don't think you were an empire evee for one day. You were either very lucky (Europe destroyed itself twice, making way for you) or you were the most arrogant bunch of upstarts the world ever saw. Hence your #1 position from 1919 on. 


Historians will tell how you managed to make your way into the 20th century... and how you lost everything during the 21st.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:12 | 4331983 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

sounds like loser talk to me... loser

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 17:46 | 4331884 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

the Coup d' Etat represented by the Kennedy Assasination at the convenience of the MIC, comes to mind; as does the abandonment of the "good as gold" dollar by Nixon in '71; and the signing of the most favored nation trading status for China by Clinton, in '80; all very close together when compressed by looking through the history telescope backwards.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:10 | 4331971 css1971
css1971's picture

Military defeats despite overwhelming superiority.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 02:12 | 4333343 SF beatnik
SF beatnik's picture

lie lay lain

slink slunk slunk

"slank is archaic" says the dict.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 13:45 | 4334430 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

I always wondered what retired English teachers do. That you, Mrs. Burnett?

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:32 | 4331552 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

A horse is a horse, of course of course,
and no one can give a facelift to a horse of course,
that is of course, unless the horse,
Is the famous Mister Kerry


Tue, 01/14/2014 - 17:12 | 4331752 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture


PHOTO: Kerry presented Lavrov with potato from Idaho before beginning of talks in Paris: via @mfa_russia #idahopotato



nuff said.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:18 | 4332000 dermus
dermus's picture

Hah nice DS9 reference.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:33 | 4331336 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


Don't you realize that ALL of this shit is every bit as real as professional wrestling?

Guess what? Neither the USA, nor Israel exist anywhere other than your imagination. Assign all of the actions and beliefs to either that you want, but don't be surprised when all they do is piss you off.


Tue, 01/14/2014 - 15:49 | 4331363 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Did you forget your meds again?  ;-)

(and no, I didn't down you)

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 17:42 | 4331870 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

In this case, I take the down-votes as evidence of a lack of understanding the difference between the tangible and the abstract.

Even the most die-hard loyalists, should be able to discern that they are loyal to an idea. But when you tell them it doesn't exist as a tangible THING, but rather, a club, comprehension goes right out of the window, replaced by appeal to emotion.

Which is why I don't try to hard to have discussions on the internets, as I know everything I say will be misinterpreted by someone, strengthening their resolve to remain ignorant.

At least with this post, they can down-vote for cause.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 17:50 | 4331896 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

It's certainly true that "The United States of America" is what I call a conditioned abstraction; "it" certainly doesn't exist in the narrow physical sense. Nor does "Israel"; but convention causes us to discuss these abstractions as if they were entities.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:19 | 4332420 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Yes, +1

Convention, being the key word here. But yes, they only truly exist as chunks of dirt with invisible lines drawn around them by TPTB, and a populace that believes.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:13 | 4331953 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

You could extrapolate that concept ad-infinitum. 

Nation states are simply a concept typically born of violence with malleable, imaginary lines on a sphere. Or is it a sphere? 

I digress.

In the meantime, stop sending our "abstract" fucking money across our "intangible" and conveniently porous borders. 


Edit: Forget that dual-citizen thing too. It's all in your head.


Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:00 | 4331440 NaN
NaN's picture

What a relief, it's all entertainment with just a small chance of real damage.

The Sec. of State (SoS) game is more entertaining with Kerry than Hillary. A mockery of a farce of a Con.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 17:07 | 4331741 it aint easy
it aint easy's picture

One head of the hydra playfully biting another head.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 16:10 | 4331480 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Here's a guy who has done a teriffic job bullshitting people all his life into thinking he was some aristocrat or something, had worse grades at Yale than Bush II and when it comes to perform he fails miserably. Like the clown in the circus who drops all the balls to the delight of the audience. That is Kerry.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 17:49 | 4331894 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

He was "the gimp" at Skull-n-Bones.

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:08 | 4331967 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Funny + 100

Tue, 01/14/2014 - 18:23 | 4332023 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

I think "Secretariat of State" (h/t akak) wins unless that's an old meme.


Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:29 | 4332450 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

And lets not forget that he was able to bullshit his way into the Heinz fortune. I mean, an aristocrat's gotta have some pocket change.

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