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Wednesday Humor: Iran Has "Incontrovertible Proof" That US Is Run By Aliens

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While some will not be surprised, Al Arabiya reports that Iran's FARS News Agency claimed in a recent report that:

"The United States' domestic and international policy has been driven by an 'alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda' since 1945."

The "incontrovertible proof" supporting the revelations was (apparently) found in a Federal Security Service (FSB) report, carried out by American computer specialist Edward Snowden - and is confirmed (somewhat amazingly) by former Canadian Defense Minister Paul Hellyer in the following interview.

 

 

Very impressive to see Sophie (the interviewer) keep a straight face - whether you believe the man or not...

 

 

As a gentle reminder, this chap was in charge of Canadian military in the 60s!

 

Via Al Arabiya:

...

 

Snowden reportedly contacted the Guardian’s columnist Glenn Greenwald telling him, according to Fars, that there “were actually two governments in the United States, the one that was elected, and the other, secret regime, governing in the dark.”

 

The agency added that Snowden’s revelations were confirmed as “accurate” by former Canadian Defense Minister Paul Hellyer, during an appearance he made on Russia Today’s program SophieCo.

 

Hellyer said: “This information is top secret in a way that the governments aren't talking about it, but if you listen to whistleblowers and the people are had worked in the industry and who know what is going on, there is just a lot of information out there and it doesn't take very long to get your hands on it.

 

He said 80 percent of UFO reports analyzed by the Canadian defense ministry during his time in office were not real, but “there were 15 or 20 percent for which there was no explanation and there genuinely unidentified flying objects.”

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Wed, 01/15/2014 - 19:37 | 4335747 john39
john39's picture

stupid propaganda for the sheeple.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 19:40 | 4335773 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The U.S. Is run by dual-citizens.

Dumb Iranians.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 19:43 | 4335794 john39
john39's picture

that I agree with... and these people do have their own cult/religion...   but my propaganda statement was about the nazi story being attributed to Iran.  classic disinfo to make Iran look bad.  Iran, of all countries, knows exactly what little fascist war mongering state in the ME controls the United States government... and though they ironically act like Nazis, they are nothing of the sort.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 19:52 | 4335835 ACP
ACP's picture

They prefer to be called "undocumented extraterrestrials".

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 20:02 | 4335869 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

OK.  I'm about to be destroyed here, but many Christians believe that aliens and UFOs are in fact demons, and were mentioned in parts of the old testament that were not canonized.  Reference the Book of Enoch.  Ok, that's it.  Now you can think I'm insane. 

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 20:04 | 4335883 old naughty
old naughty's picture

non-Christians too...

just saying.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 20:11 | 4335911 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Look at Barry, checking out "his" ass.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 20:20 | 4335949 Manthong
Manthong's picture

It's those ears..

they are really dish antennas.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 20:40 | 4336024 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I can't believe the Tylers (the "new" Tylers?) did not think to mention that Snowden did not say the country is run by aliens.  Saying the elected government is a front for a secret government is hardly crazy.  Of course if I were the CIA, I would go ahead and put out a news story that Snowden says the U.S. is run by aliens in order to make the entire concept of a shadow government sound absurd.  Hopefully this story will be developed further and not end with "Wednesday humor."  Surely the original Tylers would have done so.  And I would add that the new Tylers are not aliens.  Just not the original.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 20:48 | 4336045 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Um, remember yesterday when I said this whole collapse thing was a distraction from the real game?

Here: 4332345

Oh, and Remeber, RT stnds for Russia Today.  A fully funded organization of the Russian Government.

Stephen Greer was on back on the 10th.  His thing is called "The Disclosure Project."

Is Alien Technology Here? | Interview Dr. Steven Greer of the Disclosure Project      the Leggy Lister did the interview.

You should know who Stephen Basset is too: www.Citizenshearning.org

I thought ZH was about cutting through the propaganda...not joining and making fun of it...or are they...

 

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 20:52 | 4336072 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

barry's shapeshifting alien handler at a press conference. pretty creepy.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRCbyVpz-qw

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:00 | 4336101 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Well DUH, everyone knows Barry is a resident alien.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:25 | 4336180 Jack Napier
Jack Napier's picture

The laws of physics are no different in our solar system than they are throughout the cosmos.

Considering how young our civiliazation is it would be a statistical anomaly if the environment that lead to the creation of life on our planet did not occur elsewhere, and would also be a statistical anomaly if it did not occur elsewhere long before we were here. It is unrealistic to think that if there were others out there that they would not find our radio signals with precise coordinates of our planet in relation to a cosmological map of the pulsars which each have their own unique signature.

As a firm believer in Jesus Christ I will be the first to say that science and religion need not be at odds with each other. It is the psyop program that wishes to turn people away from our creator and keep us from realizing that they have no power over us, because we have already won victory over death.

Anyone who truly understands the science of DNA and switch genes will realize that it is a programming language, and that we are a product of intelligent design. Any other beings in the universe are a product of the same, and by no means should be worshipped as greater than us.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:26 | 4336194 90's Child
90's Child's picture

'The laws of physics are no different in our solar system than they are throughout the cosmos. Considering how young our civiliazation is it would be a statistical anomaly if the environment that lead to the creation of life on our planet did not occur elsewhere, and would also be a statistical anomaly if it did not occur elsewhere long before we were here. It is unrealistic to think that if there were others out there that they would not find our radio signals with precise coordinates of our planet in relation to a cosmological map of the pulsars which each have their own unique signature.'

 

+1, believe that to the T.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:30 | 4336211 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

The wookie should've been a hint.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:37 | 4336221 clymer
clymer's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3mNZVKeU6M

all the proof you should want

it seems supremely arrogant to assume that earth is the only place that life exists?

You know what Donnie Rumsfeld said about known unknowns..

of course a hoax wrapped in a lie called project bluebeam will keep the charade going for another 100 years

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:43 | 4336244 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Better keep the squirrels away from Mr. Hellyer...

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 22:21 | 4336397 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Whether it's aliens or humans running things, they've still lost control either way.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 22:42 | 4336488 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Russia Today is show best news! Always deep probe and voluptuous anchor woman.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:11 | 4336599 Four chan
Four chan's picture

and the sec has never confirmed the existance of corruption.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:34 | 4336673 acetinker
acetinker's picture

You still have the best avatar.  There's that to consider.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 00:52 | 4336895 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

We are all here to mine gold for the Annu Khakis.

You are not your fuckin' Khakis.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 06:25 | 4337204 CoonT
CoonT's picture

If you like your gold, you can keep your gold!

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 10:05 | 4337513 kralizec
kralizec's picture

If you like your illegal aliens in office...

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:43 | 4336248 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Good stuff.  I will drop this here in relation to my previous post. 

Satan,Angels,Women,Demons,SonsOfGod,Illuminati,Nephilim

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWjRnefEkqM

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:52 | 4336279 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

I get it now.  The engineer part is a joke.  Engineers usually rely on hard data, at least the ones I know anyway.  More than enough data.  This bullshit is what they throw out there the create your doubt.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:56 | 4336299 ACP
ACP's picture

Interesting that a joke article has produced one of the most interesting chains in a while.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 22:36 | 4336458 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

What's key to me about this article is that the new Tylers didn't get the joke.  

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:13 | 4336604 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Wednesday humor? I think that outlines a joke LTER. 

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:35 | 4336631 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

The article juxtaposes the senile Canadian with the Snowden story, leaving the impression that the "humor" is Snowden's non-existent statement that America is run by aliens.  You'd have to delve through three layers of irony to see the humor as being that the CIA planted the story.  The original Tylers would not have created this misimpression or required mental gymnastics to see the humor.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:24 | 4336649 ACP
ACP's picture

Possible, but what I miss is that there are no more inter-thread Tyler comments.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:36 | 4336684 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I'm guessing original Tyler would jump in on one of these and tell me to fuck off.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 00:32 | 4336846 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Still ZH is the best watering hole in town, but should things go south, the solution lies in our own hands. What do you think of a community-driven news site, spun off by ZH authors and contributors? Ad-free, spy-free. I'll write it for you, if we want to use it. No Javascript. Just basic HTML and CSS.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 01:01 | 4336916 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I'd love it and I would certainly contribute in my free time, such as it is.   I wish I had time/money to do more.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 01:03 | 4336922 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

His name was Tyler Durden.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 01:08 | 4336928 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

His name was Tyler Durden.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 01:22 | 4336938 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I need to call it a night but if you're serious I'll be around.  I'm guessing a bunch of others here would jump on board and your biggest problem would be sifting through the BS.  If you have the technical means, I'll bet you'd have content if you have time to sift.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 01:39 | 4336969 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I am out also. The idea is up for reals. I don't have time to participate in research or sifting. I would merely play facilitator of technology. The design is not difficult, and the scalability portion I would have to learn about. I wouldn't mind making the site and giving it to responsible hands like HH, Cog, WB, GW, and gang. I'm busy as fuck with work but I think this site needs to be made at some point pretty soon. I'm not versed in making web pages scale and fit to every browser on every OS and shit, but I can make something simple that is likely to show up corect on most setups. If other ZHers want to participate in a truly community-driven website, a github project can be created and people can work on a website once a plan and architecture are devised. Many ways to go about this. I'm just stirring up a pot.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 01:47 | 4336982 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

 JOYFUL pointed to debasement of Zero Hedge a few months ago and suggested exactly that. That was before he was banned to the salt mines.

 

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 03:59 | 4337116 Yenbot
Yenbot's picture

Fill it with ads and pay us. Bitcoins, gold, whatever. But don't hire Oh Deskers from Bakyardistan to do a real in-house paid shill's work. Capitalism!

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:59 | 4336313 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

I'm smart enough to realize that I don't know everything.  Apparently you do.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 22:14 | 4336349 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Silly humans, of course there are aliens. They are your ancestors. 

 

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:14 | 4336607 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Only the ones we know about.  The ones who came after us, we'll never know.  It's just a ride.

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 00:22 | 4336822 Central Bankster
Central Bankster's picture

You've seen the movie Prometheus right?

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 22:04 | 4336332 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

Are wookies from the deep jungle or outer space?

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:30 | 4336212 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

B.O.

Phone home.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 21:37 | 4336231 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Vote:> Earth has been visited by alien life forms.

Vote:> Earth has never been visited by alien life forms.

Wed, 01/15/2014 - 23:13 | 4336606 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Illegal or space aliens?

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 06:35 | 4337211 CoonT
CoonT's picture

One question: Assuming the creation of the universe at the "Big Bang" and time blah blah blah (should have read "Idiots guide to a History of Time"), that would mean that all life had the same "start time." So, given the nature of..well, mother nature; why would any other civilization, be any more advanced than our own?

I up-voted you, but I'm still not convinced that any other life forms out there would have managed to acheive so much more than we humans, given that we all started the race at the same time..

Thu, 01/16/2014 - 08:29 | 4337307 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

You've heard of "conditions conducive to life" yeah? Just because the big bang blah blah blah happened doesn't mean that the environment was there to support life. There may have been molecules /  microbes being scattered around but they could not thrive in some locations and could thrive in other locations. The Earth was molten for a long long time before it cooled enough to allow life to exist. Life may have tried to start / land / whatever, but it was not possible until the first microbes took hold.

 

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