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"If You Like Your Phone Records, You Can Keep Your Phone Records": Obama To Announce NSA Overhaul At 11:00 AM

Tyler Durden's picture


Remember when Obama said he would have engaged in a dramatic overhaul of the NSA with or without Edwards Snowden? Funny as that statement may have been at the time (and recall that Comedians have psychotic personality traits, study finds), we will never know just what Obama would have done if... but we do know that at 11 am this morning, Obama will say he is ordering a transition that will significantly change the handling of what is known as the telephone "metadata" program from the way the NSA currently handles it. In other words, if you like your phone records, you can keep your phone records. It goes without saying that the number of people who believe anything the president says at this point is the same number or less than the dozen or so Chinese enthusiasts who waited in "line" to get a new China Mobile phone.

From Reuters:

Obama is balancing public anger at the disclosure of intrusion into Americans' privacy with his commitment to retain policies he considers critical to protecting the United States.


Obama's move is aimed at restoring Americans' confidence in U.S. intelligence practices and caps months of reviews by the White House in the wake of damaging disclosures about U.S. surveillance tactics from former U.S. spy agency contractor Edward Snowden.


In a nod to privacy advocates, Obama will say he has decided that the government should not hold the bulk telephone metadata, a decision that could frustrate some intelligence officials. In addition, he will order that effectively immediately, "we will take steps to modify the program so that a judicial finding is required before we query the database," said the senior official, who revealed details of the speech on condition of anonymity.

So... the NSA will promptly dismantle its Stazi-inspired "Stellar Wind" facility with all the big hard disks in Bluffdale, Utah, right? Right? That's what we thought.

The fun continues:

Obama has asked Attorney General Eric Holder and the intelligence community to report back to him before the program comes up for reauthorization on March 28 on how to preserve the necessary capabilities of the program, without the government holding the metadata.


"At the same time, he will consult with the relevant committees in Congress to seek their views," the official said.


While a presidential advisory panel had recommended that the bulk data be controlled by a third party such as the telephone companies, Obama will not offer a specific proposal for who should store the data in the future.

Well if nobody else wants it, we are sure a consortium of Goldman and JPMorgan would be delighted to "host" this data... Finally, even more lies:

People familiar with the administration's deliberations say Obama also is expected to agree to other reforms, such as greatly scaling back spying on foreign leaders and putting a public advocate on the secretive Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court.

We LOLed too. Tune in at 11:00 am, or just around the time today's $3 billion POMO ends, for much more live, televized humor.


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Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:22 | 4340442 Let The Wurlitz...
Let The Wurlitzer Play's picture

Bullshit!!  Were is the "Trust but Verify" component?


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:28 | 4340464 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Nobody is buying what you're sellin', Barry!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:34 | 4340477 knukles
knukles's picture

If I like your private phone records, I will keep your private phone records
And I may even quarter troops in your house for your own protection
Loyal troops, paid for by the King

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:36 | 4340489 resurger
resurger's picture

As long as i can keep my Obama phone i shall


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4340512 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

This bunch of crap lost any credibility it had left when it got to the part that said, 'Obama has asked attorney general Eric Holder.......'

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:50 | 4340526 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

I think he will FIRST define what "metadata" is!

and that definition  will mean that NSA are actually doing nothing wrong.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:52 | 4340534 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

The Congress  needs to define what "impeachment" is and then do it to that scum ball liar low life moron!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4340551 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Let's arrest him first! 

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:06 | 4340581 pods
pods's picture

Well hell, I believe him.  (that is sarcasm for the new folks)

But how exactly are we to assertain that they are in fact going to do this?

Oh, trust them?



Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4340595 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

You didn't build trust.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:20 | 4340638 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

As a staunch republican, er, I mean democrat... I can assure you, this fixes everything! 

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:35 | 4340920 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Real Translation...

"If you are like your phone call record, we will keep record your phone call"

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:28 | 4340662 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

"You didn't build that SS overseeing the NSA. Your government did. And you didn't appoint Eric Holder to oversee all this stuff. I did. Now, do you want to fuck with me, or should we have this nice guy with the AR talk with you about loving Big Brother?"

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:43 | 4340973 g speed
g speed's picture

at pods

I believe HIM ----metadata will now be stored in private corp of croney and not at gov't facility---good guys will need judges(for what thats worth) but cronies will have unlimited access with the correct amount of cumshaw---just sayng

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 15:09 | 4341786 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Why?  The President and Congress are just puppets.  YOU need to go to the source.  Find the source and bring it to me.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 17:31 | 4342203 stant
stant's picture

just becuse hes paranoid dosent mean hes not out to getya

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:06 | 4340577 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture

"I like your phone records, and I like all your electronic data, but the NSA can't be trusted, that's why I have named a new double-secret organization that you will never hear of"


No doubt nothign will change, the NSA/CIA probably asked for this DIS-INFO to create the illusion of change, bull fucking shit, OBAMA is a lame-dick bitch, and he's fucked, and the PTB gave him a fucking script to read.


But for real, you know that a 'new contractor' has been found to ADMIN YOUR DATA, ... and of course NOBODY can tell you who they are until the next SNOWDEN flushes the toilet bowl.


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:30 | 4340468 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Yeah, he's going to personally make sure it's all verified by dismantling the puppet FISA court and moving authorizations into the hands of the White House.  

Because Obama.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:32 | 4340473 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

If you like your privacy, you can keep....errr, ne'er mind

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:12 | 4340585 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Timothy to Barry: "we need help, I sold less than a dozen iphones here in our new BJ store. Could you un-fog(I mean, un-spy) it somehow, Mr. President?"

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:33 | 4340682 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

No one buys phones in a BJ store....

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:48 | 4340742 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Can't imagine why?

Who would not want a device that collects and broadcasts your every thought direct to the state?

Oh, and sends your exact location 24hrs a day.

What a product!


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:26 | 4340878 old naughty
old naughty's picture

12 out of 1.3 b, that's how many who (i mean Hu)...Well, tomorrow is another day (for Tim Cook).

guess the 60% voluntary premium on "red rice" (Small Rice brand) is no deterrent, hu-mmmmmmm-would have thought?


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:09 | 4340701 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



"we need help, I sold less than a dozen iphones here in our new BJ
Could you un-fog(I mean, un-spy) it somehow, Mr. President?"

Score!  Direct Hit!

I laughed...

then I screamed...

then I cried.

Fascism.  We are soaking in it: Top Candidate Recipient from Apple Computer, 2012, Barack Obama (D)    $308,081

Bribery is an act of giving money or gift giving that alters the behavior of the recipient. Bribery constitutes a crime and is defined by Black's Law Dictionary as the offering, giving, receiving, or soliciting of any item of value to influence the actions of an official or other person in charge of a public or legal duty.

Corporate Power is Protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

"At the same time, he will consult with the relevant committees in Congress to seek their views," the official said.

Members of Congress that own Apple Inc shares: 38


God bless the Chinese that didn't buy iCrap because they don't want to be spied on.  I only wish Americans were as smart.  Hit the fascists in the pocketbook.


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:22 | 4340645 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

The president can suck a dick!....  oh?  You don't say?  Well then....  The president can lick a vagina!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:18 | 4340624 Blame Crash
Blame Crash's picture

Yes, they have Barry by the short hairs just like everybody else and he'll say what their teleprompter tells him to say. They know everything about him starting from his inception.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:22 | 4340443 youngman
youngman's picture

Yeah this guy....Obama....never

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:30 | 4340472 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Reguardless he trusts you, by giving everyone an obama phone, he knows of or can locate your where abouts in a heartbeat. All that just so he can sleep at night.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:23 | 4340444 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Supreme leader has a credability problem though

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:23 | 4340447 Skin666
Skin666's picture

Snarky Tyler is back!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:24 | 4340448 aleph0
aleph0's picture

This  reminds me of TV Soap-Opera .. not that I've ever watched one I admit.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:46 | 4340450 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

And behold the birth of the next great government boondoggle... Obamaphonecare.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:24 | 4340451 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Everybody in Wash DC should be waterboarded. Period

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:33 | 4340474 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

To do what? Prove they are a bunch of lying thieves? I vote for a penal colony on Mars. Yes, I know there is no oxygen there but they could hold their breath.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:41 | 4340501 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

as soon as we get all the SECRETS and the TRUTH....send them to mars....

Im tired of the secrets....

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 15:04 | 4341765 fedupwhiteguy
fedupwhiteguy's picture

come on!! no need to spend so much cash dudes!! firing squad using only one live round. gives mental deniablity to all and the blanks and live round cost less than 5 FRN's!@!!!~

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:24 | 4340452 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

The power of language. He will simply redefine what freedom and ownership actually mean in our brave new world. Shhhhish. The minister of truth speaks....

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:39 | 4340498 Paper CRUSHer
Paper CRUSHer's picture

Effortless ,endless native jive...............i agree let the man talk.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:24 | 4340454 youngman
youngman's picture

I think I have been metadataed

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:29 | 4340457 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What a bunch of crap. This goon has lied through his teeth many times over. Anybody who believes the NSA is really going to give up one iota of power they have is fooling themselves.

Of course the media will ease people's fears and the libtard true believers will buy it.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:29 | 4340467 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

That's his job. "We the People" consistently hire only the best liars as it is the only way to maintain our delusions. Let us not fool ourselves into thinking that people want the truth. My wife stills says I'm the handsome'est of them all. She could run for office.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:07 | 4340583 Confused
Confused's picture

As always, who watches the watchers? 


There is no putting the genie back in the bottle. Surveilliance will continue. You are spot on. 

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:18 | 4340633 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture

The NSA/CIA aka US-MIL has hired a new civilian contractor that can be trusted, or perhaps even better all the spying has been 100% returned to MIL control :)

We'll never know the truth because this isn't a DEMOCRACY.

Most likely because everyone is a cheap whore for sale on a kmart blue-light special hour, that the lowest bidder in a secret closed bid got the new contract to ADMIN the data for the NSA.

I think a lot of people would prefer it would 100% return to MIL, but you know how NEO-CONS love privatization :)


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:45 | 4340733 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Use of libtard relagates your pitiful post to the same bitbucket as mentions of nazi / hitler.  

Rational belief ceases.

Classic Fail, Dickhead.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 12:39 | 4340978 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Awwww did I offend a poor true believer? I'm sorry that your life is so pitiful that you feel the need to continually defend this guy. I'm just kidding, I'm not really sorry.  38% of the people in this country still blindly support this asshole, and guess who they are....I'll give you a hint..they haunt the comment sections of the Huffpo. If you don't believe me go read them yourselves. 

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:35 | 4340931 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

We know the problems ... they're posted and discussed here and on hundreds of other web sites all day long.

But no one is talking about solutions. No one wants to address real change. No one ... because it's disruptive. No one, because it's painful. No one wants to discuss solutions because it requires effort and action - or inaction where there is action. No one wants change the status quo because they might miss out on some crumbs. Or some more minor pain instead of real pain.

We - the purported People - still have a great deal of power. But it sleeps with the zombies. Everyone waits for someone else to do something - and until then, well, we'll just keep on keepin' on.

Well, dear reader - it starts with you. And all YOU have to do is nothing. Stop buying their oil produced plastic shit. Stop toting this ridiculous technology around town with it in your pockets. Stop telling these cocksuckers your every move, every thought, every like and dislike. Stop feeding this fucking beast.

But, it has to start with you. You have to be a leader by example. You have to get other to see that you are awake before they'll listen to you. You have to let go of the crumbs and rotted food and get your hand out of the jar.

Sure. We prep. We prepare for all sorts of calamities and emergencies. We store food, we store weapons and ammo ... we wait for the crash. We wait for the change to come to us before we move. Well, it has to stop. You have to DO something (or nothing, for real nothing) ... but you have to change your thinking and your actions. And it has to start with YOU. Today. Now. Stop feeding this beast. The buck stops with YOU. YOU are an army of one. YOU are the leader. Do it now and initiate real change in your sphere of influence. Or, just fuck everyone else and make some change in your life in regard to this fucked up culture.

But continuing to talk about these problems we've all known about for decades just goes nowhere, like one big snarky circle-jerk.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:28 | 4340461 Kina
Kina's picture

NO change...just more people get a copy of the data.


Nobody believes Obama, Govt, Congress and know they are just cock suckers of the 1%

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:35 | 4340462 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

I don't believe you! I don't believe you! :lalalalala: [/fingers in ears]

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:28 | 4340463 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

The title of this article says it all: whatever's said will be a lie.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:29 | 4340465 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

I like the way Drudge worded the headline, "PUNT: President to call for outsourcing NSA phone data..."

I can see India or China getting their hands on this.


edit: or the Unions

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:30 | 4340469 resurger
resurger's picture

why all this Jelly Tyler, you hate Merica for its freedoms.


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:37 | 4340492 knukles
knukles's picture

No, he hates America for its FreePhones... Because he didn't get one
Envy, anger, resentments lead to alienation
With no green cards
Just amnesty
10 million new progressives...
Ah, I love the smell of burning social structures in the morning

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4340562 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture

Obama hates ameriKKKa because KY-JELLY made him the man he is,

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:33 | 4340476 kenezen
kenezen's picture

Read into this conversation of the Presidents words from several days ago that was troubling:

"If the Congress continues to stand for only dysfunction and delay then, I'm going to move ahead without them. I will do whatever I can without Congress!"

The president might want to disclaim, or, perhaps not, the ability he has to Announce a "State of Emergency" giving him dictatorial powers. That is a reasonable assertion not exempted under his scope presented under his words of: " I will do whatever I can Without Congress."  The president needs to quickly walk that statement and its wide possibilities back. Set some limits. Does the Democrat Party really want to be the progenitor of our first Socialistic Dictator with the power of the NSA?  Look to comparisons of Chavez.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:52 | 4340748 bh2
bh2's picture

Obama is nothing more than a re-play of FDR's lies. He, too, promised to act on his own "if Congress fail" to give him what he wanted. Birds of a feather.

Both are famous liars. Both will be admired as heroes by the Left. (But I repeat myself.)

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:34 | 4340480 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Barry is a pathological liar - who gives a fucking shit what this cockroach blathers.


How's your fucking Barrycare doing Barry?  Happy with it?  Stupid fuck!!!!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:39 | 4340497 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

He loves it. It is doing everything he had hoped for and more. More economic and social collapse. The "chaos of change".

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4340564 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

It's doing exactly what he intended, corporatism for the insurance agencies, then a whole rape over to single payer after profits are made.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:34 | 4340483 resurger
resurger's picture


Should accept the new Meta, this is how its gonna be played from now on.

that stellar wind, when will it be finished or is it finished?

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:35 | 4340487 BlackVoid
BlackVoid's picture

Haha, overhaul! Yes, they will spy more.


Empty promises and hopeless hope.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4340494 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

He is a certified psycho.. the lies are endless but it's his lack of remorse or emotion that does it. It's almost as if he's programmed.. hmm.

I always thought Jim Carrey was a litle strange.. now I know why. He even made Johnny Carson uncomfortable.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:44 | 4340499 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

What an "overhaul" really means: all tracks will be covered (for any information request expect a "documents where lost during the change"), new legal documents will show everything was legal anyway (like "waterboarding is not torture") and all else will only get worse.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:40 | 4340500 SMC
SMC's picture

How can you tell the Obummer is lying?

When he is speaking and knows there is a microphone nearby.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:47 | 4340518 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

We know when he is speaking the truth. It typically shows up when the teleprompter does not. He is not smart enough to lie without notes. Off prompter we get to hear what he thinks, rather than what he is told.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:42 | 4340503 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"Scaling" back, but continuing to do everything we've been doing and more.

Sounds to me like the NSA has simply identified the stupid fucks in the population and will no longer be spying on them.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:43 | 4340505 forwardho
forwardho's picture

This is worse than bad comedy.

If you tried to I doubt you could come up with a more unbelieveable senario.


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:42 | 4340506 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

Lips moving... Can't take it... Getting weaker... Aieeeee!!!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:47 | 4340520 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

So the Data Center in Utah is going to become a new factory outlet mall?


That will help with the "Recovery".

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4340554 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture

The DATA-CENTER will be designated the largest MORMON TEMPLE in the world, the SQUID will be named the NEW CONTRACTOR to ADMIN the DATA, and the SQUID will choose an unknown MORMON TEMPLE that is very large in UTAH to store and manage the ALL the data on every human on earth.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:20 | 4340642 youngman
youngman's picture

This could help with their family history thing....just sayin

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:47 | 4340521 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

Another non-reform reform. Nothing will change. 


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:10 | 4340605 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Indeed, this is all a PsyOp to cover new and more exciting ways to invade our privacy and undermine our rights.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:49 | 4340525 jballz
jballz's picture


If this were an Onion article would it read all that much differently?

Public advocate on the FISA court?

Um... shouldn't all the FISA court already be public advocates?

Never mind. All just a sick fucking joke at this point. 

Thanks for the pep talk big O.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:51 | 4340527 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture

"OBAMA sends NSA to the DOG HOUSE"


OBAMA: "OK, you caught me raping a dog, now I have a new law, nobody can rape dog's in the USA, except a new agency, that I have not yet named, that should once and for all keep dog-raping out of the news"

"Certainly, the CIA, DEA, IRS, or DHS, ... or FBI can be trusted to keep my Beastiality preferences confidential from the US Public"



In summary, the PHONE RECORDS and ALL electronic records will still be kept ad-infintim, but now OBAMA has now named a new double-triplle top secret club of dog-fuckers that you have never heard of to store your data.

So now we are back where we started, now we know are data is kept forever, but we dont' know  where, and this is HOPE&CHANGE.


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:57 | 4340535 Mempo of Twilight
Mempo of Twilight's picture

No organization of that size and with such capabilities can ever be controlled, the only way to stop all the atrocities is to not to have any organization like that at all, anything else is nonsense

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:35 | 4340540 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

I can hardly wait until 11am to see how this putz fucks this up, just like he fucks up every thing he touches.

I can guarantee you that his response to this issue - that the NSA is rogue, threatens freedom of speech, and has stripped all Americans of any vestige of privacy and has assembled comprehensive profiles on each of us for some unknown potential future use - will be rife with dishonesty.

What a pathetic, thoroughly dishonest man Barack Obama is.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:55 | 4340543 Blame Crash
Blame Crash's picture

Moar Hoopla & Charades for the true believers.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4340555 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

I don´t have any government sources or inside information, but I am 99% sure what comes next.  Enter USIS (United States Investigative Services).  The NSA will contract with USIS to store all of its metadata.  For those of you who do not know what USIS is, it was a branch of the U.S. government that performed background security clearance checks.  It became a private corporation to avoid all the regulations and laws that apply to government agencies.  Since becoming a private company, it has dramatically expanded its investigative databases and services and has databases for just about everything on just about everyone.  Merging the NSAs data with USIS´s data would be the final step to the complete surveillance state.  This will also subvert all those state initiatives, such as the one moving through Washington´s legislature, to prevent federal government warrantless surveillance, since a private company does not need a warrant.  USIS is one scary entity, almost as scary as the NSA, and merging the two into one massive government-private spy network creates an ultra-powerful domestic espionage system that can exploit all the freedom of a private company with all the power of the federal government.  Be afraid, be very afraid.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4340598 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture

Where is their HQ? ISrael or UTAH?

ARe the scientology or MORMON?

USIS, ... but there are 10's of 1000's of un-employed people & companys in this economy that would love to create 10,000 jobs where they could pay high-school drop-outs $200k/year,...

Never forget that the USA can now print unlimited FIAT off the books to INFINITY.


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4340627 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

Their HQ is in Grove City, Pennsylvania, but they are now a part of Altegrity (the largest part by far) and run, more or less, by former Wall Street types, with the former government spooks in more subordinate positions.  The have huge database centers with information on nearly everyone (large amount of credit information for example-I think they hold a lot of credit information for the big credit agencies to give people their number of the beast, i.e. credit score).  They are biometric pioneers and have a lot of proprietary search software to do big databases searches.  They have a file on you, just like the NSA... they have a file on everyone, actually.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:58 | 4340556 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4340557 Blame Crash
Blame Crash's picture

At this point, the only hope is that a civil woar breaks out between all the commie bureaucracies, the alphabet agencies and the crony capitalist fascists.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:41 | 4340964 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

How about a military coup?

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4340559 replaceme
replaceme's picture

Stellar Wind facility should be the milestone - if the parking lot is full, and the power is flowing, someone is tracking it all.   They may get cutesy with it and say they're not keeping the metadata, but maybe that just means they extracted the metadata into their own system.  Voila, truthy.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:38 | 4340711 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

They will just contract with a private company, probably USIS, to store the data, then rent space at the Bluffdale Center to the private company.... problem solved... what this also allows them to do, if the data is in the hands a friendly, investigations company (USIS is the obvious choice) is to request a "background check" on someone, then USIS can do a lot of a the actual espionage - searching the database and produce a "report" for the NSA... the NSA has done nothing and contracted out its constitutional violations... doesn´t even need a court (including FISA) to conduct the investigation as a "private investigative firm" has done all the work... neat huh... I should work for the government.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:01 | 4340567 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Ah yes........soothing words from the soothing soothsayer himself.

Go back to sleep my sheeple, all is well and you are safe now. Ain't nobody gonna let da big bad goons get u down y'hear? 

Look! Over there! Moar bread and circus for u!.........XOXOXO , barry


Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:01 | 4340568 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

This man cannot be trusted with anything!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:04 | 4340573 curbyourrisk
curbyourrisk's picture

Article Lost me at "American Intelligence"

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:08 | 4340588 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

this will all just be more lip service for the sheeple...most of them don't even really know what's been going on, don't understand, and are too dumbed down and apathetic from drinkin the fluoride fool-aid along with a whole host of other things (their cell phone/NSA spy device being another main cause) that anything this jackass says isn't even going to make a dent.

Just more smokescreen for the ignorant masses, and NSA and all the other rights-violating, abusive, NAZI, Marxist, treasonous scum will continue on doing whatever the fuck they want.

Yes, we and some others know better...but these sociopaths don't give a shit about what we know.  they're power-tripping on their massive authority, and they know they can keep spinning the lies to the masses long enough before they launch a false flag against us to blame patriots, and then they'll try to wipe us out.

And the sheeple will either fall for it or cower in a corner and solidify their ultimate slavery to the mighty militarized government tyranny once and for all.

Or maybe the NSA will just stop now and shut down their uber multi-billion dollar death star facility in Utah, and they will join us preppers, go off grid, become stackers, and fight the New World Order along side us.

Hahahahahahaha....yeah, right....

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4340629 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

Well, if the turd party is the same outfit that created the Obamacare Webshite we might have little to concern us.

Perhaps we should encourage that 'division of incompetence'.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:21 | 4340643 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

True sociopaths lie like other people breath.

Put General Clapper and Obama in a room together, and make some popcorn.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:31 | 4340670 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

This is Fascism exemplified - when it's illegal for the government to do it, have corps do it on the govt's behalf.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:34 | 4340688 HamRove
HamRove's picture

This entire thread has been collected for future review.

Everyone who has participated has committed acts against the king.

Your accounts have been identified, your identities exposed.

A secret court will establish whether or not your involvement requires further action

A ticket for $75 will be mailed to your home if found guilty. You have 10 days to pay.

Thank you for your cooperation.

-The King

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:54 | 4340761 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

If you like your king you can keep him ...

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:57 | 4340768 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

I regret to inform you that, by law, I may not send USD, in any form, across the borders of my current country.  By law, I cannot comply.  Also, your ticket, since it has a U.S. monetary value (as a debit), will be confiscated by customs authorities, and I will never receive it.  Thank you for your kind attention to this matter, and best of luck in all your future endeavors collecting USD from me.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:19 | 4340843 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

If you like your jurisdiction, you can fold your jurisdiction to sharp corners and shove your jurisdiction.

Any fine notices will be used for wallpaper (times are hard)

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:33 | 4340909 HamRove
HamRove's picture

Resistance is futile

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:35 | 4340695 Shrapnel
Shrapnel's picture

Another bullshit speech starts at 1100 hours. With no possible way of verifying any reforms claimed by the douche-canoe in chief, this is no different than any other televised gum-flapping to placate the sleeping masses and the FSA.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 10:57 | 4340769 djsmps
djsmps's picture

I have to be at work at 1:00, so I'll probably miss it.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:00 | 4340778 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

It's all bullshit ... the real issue is the collection of information without a warrant - absolutely unconstitutional.

By allowing the continuance of the data collection, after discovery, this President will commit treason against the Constitution, and he should be served with a bill of impeachment.

To hell with issues of storing the data - it's the collection of without a valid warrant, period!

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:40 | 4340955 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Article [IV]

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

And how secure do you feel today ??

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:55 | 4341021 brombones
brombones's picture

Obama just learned about the NSA's existence yesterday, same as the rest of us folks.

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 11:59 | 4341040 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

No really it's simple, all the NSA information will be put on a block chain that you can decrypt at home, and everytime you make a phone call or send an email or buy a pack of gum it adds to the block chain, which you can also browse for free on a new web site

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!