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Are These The Worst Jobs In America?

Tyler Durden's picture


Like being sworn at? Then these are the jobs for you. As the myth of a manufacturing renaissance in America remains just that, the Services industries bear the brunt of an ever-increasingly entitle public's needs. As IB Times' Lisa Mahapatra notes, according to a study by Marchex that examined rates of crusing across 20 service industries, Satellite TV providers's customer service agents get the most abuse.



Via IB Times,

Among customers calling their satellite TV provider, one in 82 cursed out the unfortunate customer service agent on the other end. The proportion was almost as bad for contractors -- one in 90 callers cursed.


The study was based on data drawn by Marchex Call Analytics from more than 1.2 million consumer calls placed to U.S. businesses from March 2012 to November 2013.


Veterinary clinics and senior living facilities had customers who were the least likely to curse out customer service. Only about one in every 2,600 customers cursed at veterinary clinics’ customer service agents, while only one in 1,700 customers did so for senior living facilities. Maybe pets and old folks bring out the best in people.


The study also found that a fair amount of cursing occurs while consumers are on hold. But the figures here represent only profanity while the customer was actually on the line with an agent.


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Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:28 | 4356476 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

with the number of spam marketing calls I get, you'd figure those numbers would be a lot higher

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:30 | 4356484 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Bad jobz, fishez!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:37 | 4356525 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Funeral homes didn't make the list?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:41 | 4356542 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

Top 5 crooks in the top 5, makes sense.


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:34 | 4356742 max2205
max2205's picture

Where's Primary Dealer?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:42 | 4356767 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Forgot Lawyers.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:56 | 4356814 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

What about Jizz Moppers?  Crack Whores?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:58 | 4357139 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Well, you definitely don't want to curse out the crack whore before or during the act of fellatio.

And, who continues to stick around once the jizz mopper appears to do his job?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:42 | 4356771 seek
seek's picture

I don't see Banking in the top 5.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:09 | 4357166 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Knowing ZH, Bernanke should've been at the top of the list.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:42 | 4356548 OutLookingIn
OutLookingIn's picture

Funny? Septic tank pumpers don't get a mention?

They NEVER get cursed at! Quite the contrary, profuse thank you's are proferred!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:44 | 4356555 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:31 | 4356733 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

The closest I ever came to murdering someone was a woman at the DMV.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:48 | 4356563 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Yeah, it's amazing how polite people get when they know there's a truck full of human shit that can be easily dumped back onto their yard!  OOOPS!

Then again, around these parts, everybody is carrying so it makes for  congenial dealings...  What a concept!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:05 | 4356632 new game
new game's picture

true story; i am  leaving for greener pastures and if the people applying are truly a representation of wtf is wrong in merica - i get it!  dumbed down, think they are worth way more than i appears, loosers basically. i wouldn't hire them.

maybe that is why i fly solo. anyways, if that is the supply side i think we have a clue why people swear when dealing with this crap called human service and install, attitude babbies that have to forage for a living when momy and dady pulled the plug and they lack life skills. oh well makes it easier to compete in an honest marketplace. ohhhhh, thats right lying is the norm.. back to my cave.

might also explain 50 percent ratio of transfer payment schedule for a vote...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:29 | 4356728 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

I thought the worst job was being Obama's body man.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:46 | 4356781 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Except for the person responsible for Michelle's bikini waxes.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 01:42 | 4358034 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

i'm not sure.  that strikes me as a secure, probably fairly well-paid position.  at worst occasional cursing. and s/he knows that important, needed work is being accomplished.

those carrying out her husband's healthcare or foreign policy on the other hand....  

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:37 | 4356754 Postal
Postal's picture

Just because idiots are applying for a job doesn't mean that they are the problem. I've lost count of the number of job ads I've thrown in the trash (and added the corporate domain to my .htaccess file under 'deny') simply because the job posting was little more than a list of "I want...! I want...! I want...!" Managers coming across as spoiled children who failed to do their jobs and now expect unicorns and fariy dust to save their sorry asses should expect exactly the type of people you describe to apply.

Good people are not going to work for bad managers. And bad managers write bad job postings. Competent people won't even talk to them.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:15 | 4357016 MichiganMilitiaMan
MichiganMilitiaMan's picture

Funeral homes?

It's hard to complain when your dead!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:16 | 4358802 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Not many repeat customers in the funeral biz.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:26 | 4356716 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

Senior living center folks don't get cursed at? Are you fucking kidding me? Have these people been in one of these shit holes. Those old cocksuckers do nothing but bitch and moan all day. They never stop getting cursed at all day. Fuck those old people. They are crazy and they stink like stale shit.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:57 | 4356815 Martel
Martel's picture

with the number of spam marketing calls I get, you'd figure those numbers would be a lot higher

Robocall is the honey badger of telemarketing. You curse, you threaten, Robocall don't care.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:15 | 4357018 AngelEyes00
AngelEyes00's picture

You could go 3 of 4 weeks with the cable out and they will still insist they get full payment.  Fu--------------------------------------dge!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:32 | 4356480 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

I thought Congress' cursing rate was 1 in 1.  You left out the US Congress?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:10 | 4356655 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

This is why I became an electrician:  "My husband said those lights would never work.  May I give you a hand job?"

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:13 | 4356668 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

Job normally means work - you can't count what congress does as work.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:22 | 4356704 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Too true.  Lying, cheating and stealing is an avocation that can never be considered "work".

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:55 | 4357134 rayduh4life
rayduh4life's picture

Those Too Smart for politics are governed by the Stupid.

Plato.  YMMV.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:36 | 4356752 Catalonian Capi...
Catalonian Capitalist's picture

...and the US Post Office!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 01:22 | 4358021 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I have nothing but respect for the USPS; untold billionz of pieces of mail arrive at their destination in more or less than one piece the majority of the time.  The Postal Union(s) however...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:48 | 4356790 spiral galaxy
spiral galaxy's picture

Heck!  Where's Senate Majority Leader?  Does anyone NOT curse Harry Ried?  .....about 4 times over?  Then there's House Minority Leader Pelosi!!  Yikes!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:30 | 4356485 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

TSA agents?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:33 | 4356496 El Diablo Rojo
El Diablo Rojo's picture

I fucking hate those molesting fucks. <--- one more to the stat sheet.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:31 | 4356905 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

I hear from Col. Klink that you can get sugar free gummy bears that will alleviate the TSA groping post haste!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:57 | 4357137 rayduh4life
rayduh4life's picture

Just keep your shoes on Red Devil.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:39 | 4356532 Cast Iron Skillet
Cast Iron Skillet's picture

certainly. It's just that I don't really want to find out what happens when you curse them. I can easily imagine that it could lead to missing my flight or something.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:43 | 4356554 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I do it and have yet to miss a flight.  Last time from Nashville I was giving the agent lip and he started lecturing me at the end of the patdown.  I simply told him, "I don't need your fucking lecture.  Am I fucking free to go?"  He said he could get the police and I said he was free to do what he wished, as I walked onward to the gate.  Not a thing happened.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:50 | 4356573 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You gonna get tazed!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:04 | 4356634 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Awesome I am going to try this out and report back

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:08 | 4356650 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

This is how EVERY one of my flights start off (I travel a bit for business so have little choice).

I get into the TSA line, get up to the naked scan and when they motion me in I say, "I'm not letting you pervs see me naked."

TSA agent yells opt out.  Male TSA perv comes over and waves me through metal detector and asks, "How is it going?"  I look him dead in the eye and say, "It would be much better if was not stripped of my rights in order to earn a living while traveling!" 

TSA agent yells "SUPERVISOR!"  and then the patdown begins. I am rude and explain to them that they should be ashamed of themselves and their police state job. 

There are drawbacks, I have been hit in the groin pretty hard a handful of times when they swipe the inside of my leg into the groin.  Then the cussing really begins.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:21 | 4356700 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

VOTE: > I opt out every time.

VOTE: > I submit to the scan.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:51 | 4356798 Peak Finance
Peak Finance's picture

Sorry to have to day this, but, FUCK YOU RICHARD

If only 10% of the assholes like you who claim to "have" to travel would stop using the airlines, then Airline revenues would tank and the TSA would be gone. 


I have ceased all air travel and will never travel by air again until the TSA is gone.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:38 | 4357086 Umh
Umh's picture

Some people have to travel. I don't have to and don't need to, but some others need to.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:11 | 4357170 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Are you kidding?

The last few times I flew the cattle lined up willing to be irradiated and naked scanned.

The only place I saw people being patted down were areas where scanners had yet to be installed and the pat downs were done randomly.

I think the vast majority have just acquiesced to the whole process.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:33 | 4357070 duo
duo's picture

yea, but if you swear at them, you'll be in handcuffs on the floor, being tazed repeatedly, in seconds.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:30 | 4356486 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

If those goddamn dumbasses at the satelitte company would get my fucking reception working, I wouldn't need to swear at the shitheads. For Christ's sake, how fucking incompitent can one dumbshit be?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:34 | 4356513 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

And this was just one call. LOL

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:56 | 4356604 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I've got to call some collections company tonight because I recently got a letter from them stating that I owed Dish $600. Of course, I don't owe them anything, as this is just another one of their scams, that I've seen twice before.

Step 1: Try to cancel services.

Step 2-100: Tell the sales idiot, no really, I want to cancel, stop trying to sell me a cheaper package.

Step 101: Sales rep gives up, asks to confirm address, so they can send boxes to return the receivers in.

Step 102: Never send boxes

Step 103: Hire collection agency to get paid for receivers.

Step 104: I threaten new idiots with a call to State Attorney General to report this scam.



Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:37 | 4356755 Griphook
Griphook's picture

Huh.  Step 1-100 sounded like me trying to cancel XM radio several years back.  Those fuckers did NOT want to let me go.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:18 | 4357033 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

It is easier to get divorced that it is to drop XM radio.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:34 | 4357255 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

Do what I did. I never updated credit card info. They try to charge a card that no longer exists, POOF, they're gone.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:31 | 4358854 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

That's when they send your account to collections and crap all over your credit history.  Mail a stern letter to the resident agent, CC to the states attorney and the FCC. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:47 | 4356784 BraveSirRobin
BraveSirRobin's picture

Hmmm, I made the decision to cancel Dish earlier today. Having a hard time finding a number that works to cancel the service. 

I assume you are still getting service. If not, and they are charging you, take them to small claims court. That will be fun.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:17 | 4357202 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

You really shouldn't swear at them.  In this day and age YOU should know better.  Satelite sucks.  Anyone who signs up for it just has to know what they are getting.  Complaining only shows you didn't do your research before committing.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:31 | 4356488 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Where is being the President?

A guy who gets cussed at and condemned for being the piece of shit he is?

...a guy who could be assailed for doing the right thing.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:04 | 4356822 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture



Not to worry...

Obama's getting cussed at and condemned for being a piece of shit...

Is soothingly assuaged by all the kissing of his hemorrhoids and dingleberries...

By his sycophant MSM lapdogs.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:15 | 4357198 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Well, at least the wookie got an all taxpayer expense paid 50th birthday celebrity bash.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:31 | 4356490 pods
pods's picture

Two of the top three are based on the idiot box.  Great.


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:32 | 4356491 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

So, senators and representatives don't qualify as an industry?


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:31 | 4356492 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Wow, I get cursed at, beat, sleep 50 to a room in a bed smaller than a coffin and my employers put nets up so I cannot even escape by suicide! I wish I only got sworn at! - Random FoxConn employee.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:32 | 4356494 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

I call bullshit. What about collection agents? 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:32 | 4356498 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

I guess they didn't interview any trading floor-support IT personnel.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:33 | 4356499 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Never met a dog that cursed ... but a parrot , all the time.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:35 | 4356516 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

Like being sworn at? Fuck, that's why I come to ZH!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:45 | 4356564 PrecipiceWatching
PrecipiceWatching's picture


I come here for the storm of down arrows when i don't toe the Liberaltarian line.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:10 | 4356651 RhoneGSM
RhoneGSM's picture

I'd swear at you for that comment but you aren't fucking worth the effort :-)

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:36 | 4356518 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

Where is the McDonalds drive thru when they run out of fries? Oh hold on, 911 gets that call.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:38 | 4356521 yogibear
yogibear's picture

I heard the repo business is booming. So many people can't make their payments.

Don't see arms dealers in the chart.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:40 | 4356533 kevinearick
kevinearick's picture

Old School vs. New School

Humans are slightly advanced monkeys. They just have a slightly expanded language center in a feedback loop with the computational center, which allows them to zoom in and zoom out incrementally better, to create more event horizons, channels of communication, to work with. That’s it.

You can train a human monkey to do anything another human monkey can do in about 6 months, if you can train. It’s the quality of the person you care about in the hiring decision, not the compliance paper. The latter are a dime a dozen from an economic perspective, and the only difference in empire “market” cost is political, the group position in the ponzi, the value of extortion.

The corporation – public, private and nonprofit, is always bankrupting itself, because it operates on myopic peer pressure. It requires a pool of small businesses from which it can incorporate ideas, replicate the process, and scale up, and, over time, it always eats the seed and spoils the soil, along the curve of diminishing returns.

Education, the explicit kernel, is no different. The monkeys attack themselves with bipolar control anxiety, just as they were taught in school, by systematically ignorant teachers, exploiting peer pressure as a control mechanism. Back in the day, experiments in love deprivation, Pavlov swaps, and electrocution abstraction were standard curriculum in discussing the rise and fall of Hitler, classic Family Law, before Kissinger and Kids took America on a ride to empire, and raped her with computer precision.

Develop your own frequency and the empire cannot hope to contain you; you become timeless relative to the empire, and its multiplexer vanishes, allowing you to build your own. Whether the kids are lost or the empire is lost depends upon perspective, and your perspective says a lot about where you stand on the scale. Life is not a tourist attraction.

The empire majority wants you to pay for an artificial feedback mechanism that ensures poverty for future generations, when God has freely given you a natural feedback mechanism that ensures prosperity. An equal opportunity to compete for a piece of paper, and pay an ever increasing price for the entitlement to extort from others, in a long line of extortion, is nonsense.

Time is precious, not jobs, money or property. Don’t waste your time chasing morons in a circle, first in one direction, a demographic boom, and then in the other, a demographic bust, and the echo interference. Do something productive, anything. If you are not rewarded, you are in the company of monkeys.

Ping the system in a feedback loop, and, before long, you will know who not to work for before they open their mouths and prove themselves empire, new school fools. Old timers aren’t stupid, they’re just old, and the most efficient way to bypass stupid is to employ a double-sided mirror, with a passageway.

Build your own school for your children, an elevator that will go to any floor on demand, and the empire crawls back under its rock, until the next generation forgets where it came from, because it stole what it thought was the future, material possessions. The path to the future is narrow, only relative to the empire, for your own protection.

That’s what parents do, teach their children to create their own paths, the value of which is beyond empire recognition, which is why the empire can only boom and bust, in ignorant population ponzis. Internet IPOs are never going to replace parents, try as the empire might.

Don’t destroy your self because the empire, or anyone participating in it, is too stupid to breathe. The empire is just a stupid extension of gravity, distilling out talent, the cream of the crop. Life is about learning, in an environment created for the purpose, not knowledge agreed to by monkey consensus.

Education, healthcare and all the other cartels have not hit the wall of diminishing returns by accident.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:13 | 4356665 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

"Humans are slightly advanced monkeys."

Ouch! That was harsh dude. What have you got against monkeys anyway?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:48 | 4357109 Umh
Umh's picture

Based on my work experiences this "You can train a human monkey to do anything another human monkey can do in about 6 months, if you can train" is bullshit. I was out of school ( where tracking was going on ) for awhile before it occurred to me that there are some really dumb people out here.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:39 | 4356536 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

ah swearing.....feels so good.



Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:42 | 4356537 Dagny Taggart
Dagny Taggart's picture

As much as it sucks to be cursed at, I'm sure there are plenty of parents struggling to make ends meet that would gladly put up with rude SOB customers during their day. I would hazard to guess the worst jobs in America (or elsewhere) are the ones where you have to put up with abuse from within the organization from your boss and coworkers on a regular basis.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 14:41 | 4359673 nc551
nc551's picture

The worst customers are the best customers I've found.  If you can stay abstract enough and don't take anything personally... just price in the emotional and extra cost of doing business with them (if any) and they'll never go anywhere else because most people will take their eccentric demands as an insult.  If you are going to be calling me to complain every night I'm just going to price it into the contract.  I don't care how crazy you are, I'll happily charge you whatever I think is worth it to deal with you as you want.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:41 | 4356538 malek
malek's picture

So they listened to 1.2 million calls including the time while consumers were on hold?

I call bullshit on this "study."

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:57 | 4356608 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

NSA is always listening, even when you aren't on the FUCKING PHONE. Perhaps they did this study?

Goddamn smegma licking, poo eating, venereal disease infested, dog testicle sucking, [I am trying to give them an aurally transmitted dis-ease], anus schmearing...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:44 | 4356558 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

i dont pay my credit cards, just so i can curse at the fucking cocksucking scumbag motherfucking debt collection agent

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:50 | 4356572 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

The worst job is no job. Everything else is a choice.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:50 | 4356581 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

Fools!  They should just buy the dips in the e-minis for a living, its the law that they cannot ever go down so you can't lose. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:52 | 4356590 Boondocker
Boondocker's picture

I try not to curse but I have told several people "you are a special kind of stupid"....seems to have a better effect

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:59 | 4356618 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Thanks to the movie "Idiocracy," I can get away with calling my wife a tard.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:01 | 4356625 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I want to try that line...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:23 | 4356708 Toronto Kid
Toronto Kid's picture

I once told a bank teller he was the soul of indiscretion.  He was young so he started yapping, but his manager got real quiet with big round eyes.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:53 | 4356594 Bohm Squad
Bohm Squad's picture

In unrelated news, cursing overseas, mainly by customer service reps named "Bob" and "Ted", is on a meteoric rise.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:39 | 4356760 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Poor "Wilhelm" has suffered such horrible discrimination since that tragic accident that left him inexplicably speaking with a Pakistani accent.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:58 | 4356610 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

I.T. is NOWHERE to be found on there? Really? Funny, could have sworn I had many many providers cursing us at my last job when their EMR/EHR failed to function. Nothing for banking and finance on there that's REALLY odd to me.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:02 | 4356628 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

IT depts. are internal. This study was done on external customer call centers.

Hell, I don't even answer my phone for external calls.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:54 | 4357131 Umh
Umh's picture

When you retire you can quit answering the internal calls. Always let them go to voice mail and they will usually fix the problem before you call them.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:02 | 4356631 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

I have to deal with rude fuckers all day long.  From idiots who don't know what kind of car they're driving to morons pointing at an item rather than speaking to identify it (it's tough to speak thru a grill). I then play stupid and irritate them just to get them really pissed.  These types of jobs are about all that's available at my age so I work 80 hours per week and laugh at how low we have come over the course of my lifetime.

People used to be civil.  Now fuck is littered in our language, both male and female.  Fucking cigarettes, fucking beer, fucking 'rillos.  It's really lost any shock value.  We aren't a civil nation anymore.  Perhaps we never were and it was just a fine veneer of civility.

Americans, to a great extent, are some of the laziest and self entitled creatures God ever created.  I don't know or care why.  When some whip out the EBT card to buy cheetos and shit I cringe because there are so many people who truly need it and I don't begrudge them.  At the same time so many are foul, we can also be the most generous and kind (even New Yorkers!) to those who truly need it.  It's a strange dichotomy in our psyche.

Expect everything to get worse and don't be surprised.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:29 | 4356730 cossack55
cossack55's picture

"I don't know or care why"


Young CW. you are healed and ready for some laughs.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:34 | 4356739 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

Now fuck is littered in our language, both male and female.

have you seen this yet?  wolf of wall st. - fuck version


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:03 | 4356633 fox-mulder
fox-mulder's picture

Hughesnet alone should be #1

What a bunch of lying assholes

Not only can I not get youtube videos but I can't even get a simple chart from Tyler

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:08 | 4356649 RebelDevil
RebelDevil's picture

Do yourself a favor and ditch hughesnet. They fucking suck ass.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:07 | 4356638 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

I went Ape Shit on the customer serivce provider for a major anti virus software company. I used their software for a year, it sucked, I cancelled by Email, Telephone and Website. All three. I get an email telling me my credit card has been charged for another year. They refused to accept cancellation via numerous phone calls, emails, and use of their website. I even called the VISA service number and cancelled the charge, but VISA was even reluctant to refuse the charge. I went Ape Shit on the phone, I emailed them nothing short of death threats, called the service dept. and fucking ripped them a new asshole. No matter who I talked to, they couldn't cancel the charge even though I never ordered the next years service. In their small print, if you ever buy for a year, they claim you are accepting automatic renewal for ever, and almost nothing can force them to stop charging you. After a month of threats, I told them via Email, that I was going to go public on every internet forum on earth, what had happened to me, then they moved to cancel their charge. No, it was not Macafee, it was the other one. Only a threat to go public got them to move. FUcking greedy cunts that they are.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:10 | 4356657 RebelDevil
RebelDevil's picture

I think it was idoitic to pay for antivirus in the first place when a) Avast is free and b) Linux is very virus resistant.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:25 | 4356712 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

The Other One.

You talking about the guy who was so vain he put himself with arms crossed and a stern look on the cover?

As in: "Hi, I'm Peter Norton, and you aren't".

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:16 | 4356855 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture



Both Norton & McAffee will fuck up your computer.

And have you ever tried to completely uninstall either of them?

They're like the clap - the gift that keeps on giving!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:49 | 4356789 Toronto Kid
Toronto Kid's picture

Thank you for the warning!  I will tell everyone I know.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:11 | 4357173 Umh
Umh's picture

No real help here. I make it a routine to hunt for all the silly check boxes when installing new software and will even immediately cancel any automatic renewal shit as soon as I install it. I make it a point to switch anti-virus software rather than renew it. I alternate between free and pay ware.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 22:05 | 4357573 scam_MERS
scam_MERS's picture

NOD32 & TNOD, 'nuff said ...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:05 | 4356639 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

If school children and their parents were considered clients...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:07 | 4356646 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

Stress often results in implementing an unconscious process to destroy oneself in order to stop the pain

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:11 | 4356656 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:50 | 4356792 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

This place is Jungle Hijinks in the afternoon, let me tell you...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:11 | 4356661 vaft
vaft's picture

So Americans are most aggressively passionate about their TVs, homes, and cars -- in that order. Sounds about right.


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:13 | 4356667 Agent P
Agent P's picture


Florist: "May I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, I'd like to order a dozen roses for Valentine's Day."

Florist: "Okay, that'll be $95"

Caller: "Fuck that!" <click>

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 03:06 | 4358108 Villageidiot777
Villageidiot777's picture

Tow Trucks

Tow Trucker: I'm here to pick up you and your car

Customer: Thank you very much, I know it's in the middle of nowhere on Sunday morning

Tow Trucker: That is my job sir, I'll have to charge you $100

Customer: Fuck that! I`ll push my car to the nearest town.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:18 | 4356690 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I am always shocked as to how many informed people still subscribe/succumb to the satellite and cable propaganda providers. If the critical thinking killing propaganda weren't enough, the fascist edifices behind them are always looking for new ways to shaft their "customers."

"It's just a coincidence that all of your favorite channels are now in our new more expensive packages."

Propaganda-connection free since 2007.


Sidenote: Mark my words, a day is coming when, for "safety and security," all homes will be required to have and pay for some kind of propaganda-connection.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:23 | 4356706 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture


Satellite TV providers's customer service agents get the most abuse.

This is wholesome and just.  Nice to know that during these trying times some things in the world are still as they should be.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:28 | 4356723 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

The only place I curse is on ZH. I may go to hell because of this place, but it feels so fucking good.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:34 | 4356740 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Sex work isn't on the list and is looking more appealing all the time.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:50 | 4356953 seek
seek's picture

I think close to 100% of the customers curse in that line of work, but the difference is it's a sign of customer satisfaction.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:40 | 4358905 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

I don't have the body for that trade.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:36 | 4356750 SilverIsMoney
SilverIsMoney's picture

No title examiners?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 17:44 | 4356776 Catullus
Catullus's picture

That list is Comcastic!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:13 | 4356828 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Speaking of jobs, I was wondering to myself the other day...

What kind of job in this economy will provide you with enough income to raise a child? Let alone multiple children? I am a single male who rents a one bedroom apartment. I make around 78k annual (gross) and have zero debt, no personal health insurance, and I still don't consider that an adequate salary with which to raise children and support a family. Clothing, feeding, schooling, healthcare, for another person... juggling a mortgage, how is it even possible nowadays?

Yet I see people in doing it, driving around super sized SUV's (his and hers) sporting a McMansion with a boat in the driveway. Are these people just carrying a crushing amount of debt while trying to prop up their house of cards lifestyle?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:15 | 4356859 PrecipiceWatching
PrecipiceWatching's picture

Inherited Family Money explains a lot.

 And that certainly extends beyond just your example.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:14 | 4356860 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

I have a friend who is early 30's, owns with mortgage payment monthly, one kid and wife that can't find work. While things are tight for them, they found that going as off the grid with food as possible has really helped them exponentially. Since their son was a newborn they have made all his food from scratch, he is extremely healthy and happy at 3 years old.

I think it can be done if one is willing to sacrafice a large portion of their personal life, but I am in no way ready to make that commitment. I agree completely with you that to raise a child and own a house/car anymore a couple would have to bring in around 100k mark annually to be "comfortable" unless you have adequate resources to produce on your own.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:21 | 4357215 Umh
Umh's picture

The sad part is all the poor people who do have families. I don't know where you live, but in most of this country you are ahead of the game.


Many people do owe to much and while it may not be a house of cards they live in fear of any down turn.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:13 | 4356857 Jugdish
Jugdish's picture

At least you don't have to drink coffee and watch porn all fukin day like at the SEC

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:40 | 4357089 DriveByLurker
DriveByLurker's picture

Hey, that tranny porn isn't going to watch itself.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:18 | 4356874 Georgiabelle
Georgiabelle's picture

I am ashamed to say that I totally lost it with a Sprint call center representative last month.  I don't think I used any actual cuss words but I'm pretty sure the words 'idiotic' and 'moronic' and "irrational" were uttered---in reference to Sprint's policies, not the representative.  Read your cell phone contract sometime. You won't believe what you have agreed to.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:44 | 4358929 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Get a prepaid phone.  If it stops working, throw it away. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:26 | 4356891 Illegitimi-Non-...
Illegitimi-Non-Carborundum's picture

How is it possible the airlines did not make this list?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:50 | 4356952 arby63
arby63's picture

Try running any independent retail shop (in my case a specialty but it doesn't matter) and you will soon discover the disgusting level of entitlement the average American embraces.

My customers sicken me. I hate them all. I train my employees in one simple method: The customers are almost always wrong and, if given the chance, will fuck us over royally.

Be it good or bad, the internet has changed the game. I'm all for it (I keep a kiosk open and available) but we should all understand that the FEW independent retailers (no matter the genre) that survive in the next decase will NOT kiss your pathetic ass. 

Personally, I would prefer kicking the ass of my average moronic customer. There is another training moment: I teach my employees to just take their money and laugh and the utter lack of intelligence. 

Keep sending your kids to public schools. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 19:09 | 4357006 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Where the hell is the DMV in that list?  Or the building department.


Wed, 01/22/2014 - 21:29 | 4357456 thtmnbhndthecrtn
thtmnbhndthecrtn's picture

they don't answer the phone to get yelled at.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 21:41 | 4357491 Uncle Remus
Thu, 01/23/2014 - 02:50 | 4358094 Minburi
Minburi's picture

That is some made-up bullshit. 


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