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Venezuela About To Run Out Of Food Despite Fresh All Time High In Its Stock Market

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Venezuela can be proud: while the US stock market has gone exactly nowhere in 2014, the Caracas stock exchange of the socialist paradise has continued kicking ass and taking names, just today printing a fresh all time high.

.. And the performance over the past year has been nothing short of breathtaking.

 

However, as everyone knows, there are trade offs to soaring stock markets in all socialist countries, be they paradises or not. By now everyone knows that Venezuela has had a rather systemic issue when it comes to procuring toilet paper, and from what we understand, the local population is still forced at times to wipe with stock certificates.

Alas, things are about to get worse. As a result of Maduro's recent policies which have Lenin, Stalin and Engels positive beaming from the grave, the country may soon add another shortage to its growing list of daily product in short, or no, supply. Food.

Bloomberg reports that Empresas Polar SA, Venezuela’s largest privately-held company, said in an e-mailed statement that foreign suppliers of food, packaging, and equipment have closed credit lines because of the government’s delays in giving the company dollars at official rate. Empresas added that dollar delays are now the longest since the introduction of currency controls in Feb. 2003.

In other words, with the country doing everything in its power to allocate dollars "fairly" (while making sure nobody has profit margins higher than 30%), very soon the biggest distributors of staples are about to run empty.

Oh well, at least they have their stock market and the "wealth effect"...

And now, in praise of socialist paradises everywhere, let's all sing along:

 

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Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:30 | 4355335 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

What?  Krugman says that this is impossible, plenty of soylent green...

That which cannot be sustained, won't be (regardless of how many paper promises you have or "create").

Stupid fucks.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:36 | 4355353 pods
pods's picture

Running out of food is the solution to their running out of toilet paper.

pods

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:39 | 4355363 WarriorClass
WarriorClass's picture

Meanwhile in Mexico, the government openly fights for the drug cartels.

http://americandictators.blogspot.com/2014/01/mexican-citizens-topple-ca...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:47 | 4355386 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Affordable Food. If you can find it.

Foarrrwrd!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:52 | 4355402 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Let the eat.....?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:07 | 4355471 Oleander
Oleander's picture

Sean Penn brought ___________________ to the people of Venezuala.  (Please fill in with your best answer).

 

 

 

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:08 | 4355478 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Shit on a stick.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:38 | 4355592 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I am sure that most Venezuelans would have preferred a corn dog or two to eat.  

Perhaps also some copies of the L A Times, to well, you know...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:57 | 4355669 StacksOnStacks
StacksOnStacks's picture

You've been pinching loafs off in the lawn?  I play Croquet out there!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 15:55 | 4356328 Blammo
Blammo's picture

"If you like your toilet paper you can keep it"!

and use it over & over again!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:41 | 4355600 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

What are they going to wipe their bums with if they do that?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:18 | 4355509 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Oil is organic.

..might take a little more metabolism to digest those complex molecules, but necessity is the mother of invention.

http://chemistry.about.com/od/toxicchemicals/a/Can-You-Drink-Hand-Sanitizer.htm

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:39 | 4355599 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

A false sense of hope

Just like the Messiah he supports.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:44 | 4355609 solidus
solidus's picture

"fairness and compassion"  /sarc

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:53 | 4355644 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Sean's Penn?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:09 | 4355475 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

Let them eat........Samsung HDTVs.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:54 | 4355611 Manthong
Manthong's picture

..or Samsung 27" monitors with no rotatable stands and no 1/4-20 holes for mounting on the back-side at Costco.

Samsung is loosing touch..

.. the most recent Samsung DVD player I bought has no discrete RCA analog outputs (needed for low res broadcasting on CH 3/4) and the Galaxy II I have had for only 17 months just gave up the ghost..  the only one out of 20+ mobiles I have owned.

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:56 | 4355662 Four chan
Four chan's picture

...FIAT.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:09 | 4355477 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

How do you like me NOW???

  ---   The New World Tyrants

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:34 | 4355578 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

HOPE & CHANGE BABY!

(coming soon to a country "near" you}

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:13 | 4355486 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture

 

"Meanwhile in Mexico, the government openly fights for the drug cartels."


And the U.S.A.........oops

 

U.S. Government and Top Mexican Drug Cartel Exposed as Partners

http://www.thenewamerican.com/world-news/north-america/item/17396-u-s-go...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 15:39 | 4356256 Overfed
Overfed's picture

One of your best. Obi-Wan Vanderbough has taught you well. ;-)

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:41 | 4355369 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Really? No shit, pods.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:07 | 4355470 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Thank god their trains still run...

http://youtu.be/1nV_Pgyn_xQ

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:23 | 4355526 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

If you ain't eating. you ain't shitting, TP problem solved is right. The ultimate in Marxist/Socialist equality doctrine, there is no misery inequality and everyone is equally food insecure.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:01 | 4355675 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

You see how Marxism/Socialism rolls concerning solving inequality, they constrict supply so no one can access it. Except for those doing the constricting. Kind of like how the FED monetary policy works concerning QE... How do you stop boom and bust cycles using monetary policy.

Anyone seeing a pattern here and why stock markets rise in Socialist shit holes. But we aren't one.....

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:14 | 4355744 TMLutas
TMLutas's picture

I doubt that Maduro is very food insecure. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:35 | 4355801 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Some animals are moar equal than others. You need to read Animal Farm my friend. Someone needs to be the hunter setting the trap first.

There was a chemistry professor in a large college who had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab, the professor noticed one young man, an exchange student who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to over throw his country's government and install a new communist regime. In the midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked: "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?" The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.The young man said that it was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free corn. "When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. "They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side."The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity." The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening in America .

The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc., while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time. One should always remember two truths:

There is no such thing as a free lunch, and you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself. If you see that all of this wonderful government "help" is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America , you might want to send this on to your friends.

If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will probably delete this email. BUT, God help us all when the gate slams shut!

We are at the part in Venezuela where the gate has been slammed closed and the corn runs out to feed everyone. That is where Marxist equality doctrine comes in well except for the pigs that are moar equal than the rest like Maduro.

This works over and over because of something called Morgan's Canon which states in no case is an animal activity to be interpreted in terms of higher psychological processes if it can be fairly interpreted in terms of processes which stand lower in the scale of psychological evolution and development.

Unless people are willing to engage higher pyschological processes like using your fucking brain and critically thinking to see the trap being set and recognize it while also excerising the ultimate freedom that no government can regulate of a free mind which is refusing to give consent because of recognition in the first place. Enough do then the trap doesn't work anymore. It is the difference between being a human being or an intelligent animal.


 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:33 | 4356022 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

DCH, too good.

Had to pass that on.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:47 | 4355852 ugmug
ugmug's picture

Face the facts - governments create only one thing -- 

 "Human Dog Parks"

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 15:05 | 4356120 texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

Good thing Maduro knows what he's doing...imagine how bad it'd be if he didn't? 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 20:56 | 4357341 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Well, if ya don't eat, ya don't sh!t; if ya don't sh!t, you die!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:36 | 4355588 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Can't they cast one of those big ass Dr. Krugman coins? Mabe spray can a manhole cover titanium color?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:46 | 4355619 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

but at least this could never happen in the US, cuz krugman sez we also have the worlds reserve currency. which also means our deficits dont matter. and there is no possible way this could ever change. ever

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:38 | 4355823 kwatinhu
kwatinhu's picture

Krugman should be the first to donate his body to the Soylent Green cause, ASAP. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:31 | 4355336 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This is what central planning does to a fertile, fruitful, tropical, equitorial, resource-rich nation.  You see what happens Larry?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:41 | 4355374 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

And with $12 milk and $6 a pound beef coming to America soo, someone in America's centrally planned paradise is going to have to increase the EBT allocations soon, or we might be joining the global riot club too!!!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:46 | 4355384 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Time to get creative. Who needs beef?

http://petsorfood.com/

Some great recipes.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 15:47 | 4356285 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Funny shit. The comments make it even better.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:22 | 4355530 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

$6 a pound beef?  What cut are you buying, the tongue?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:43 | 4355607 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

We're already at $6 a gallon milk and $12 a pound beef.  Try $10 a gallon milk and $20 a pound beef.

For the good stuff.  Sure you can find cheaper but it's mass produced with whoremoans (sic) and unhealthy processes.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:04 | 4355699 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture

Yep. I caught roughly 50 pounds of organic, steroid free meat in one morning this past weekend. My cost was $20 in gas and $3.50 in snares. I sold one beaver to an old black fella at the boat ramp for $10. That covered half my gas. 

Trapping in the Heart of the Black Belt

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:30 | 4355788 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Nothing like nice, fat, grilled beaver tail. My grandpa was a fur trapper. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:07 | 4355709 FreeMktFisherMN
FreeMktFisherMN's picture

not to mention that subsidies don't just come out of thin air; people are paying through inflation and taxes for the subsidies to farmers so tack that on to the 'mkt' price.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:53 | 4355648 flyme
flyme's picture

Venezuela, the new ecomonic blueprint.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:56 | 4355664 Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

Nah, they'll just tell us that food and energy don't count when it comes to inflation - Problem solved - Carry on...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:46 | 4355849 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

My apologizes I meant $16 a pound, god damn iPad keyboard, anyway I hope my point got thru, that EBT allotment of around $180-220 a month roughly, won't buy shit soon, and the QE tapering crowd is about to get their asses handed to them by July at this rate!!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:46 | 4355383 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

When you find a Stranger in the Alps? 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:37 | 4355589 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Forward!!!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:31 | 4355337 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Well there's only one thing to do next..price controls, after that we just start shooting people.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:54 | 4355879 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

The next stage up is for people to start shooting people. They'll start with the homeless. Fresh meat for a bargain.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:32 | 4355338 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

Forward!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:32 | 4355340 Payable on Death
Payable on Death's picture

Literally running out of other people's money...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:36 | 4355356 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well in 2001 the wealthy fled Argentina with suitcases full of cash in the middle of the night under armed escort. I'm sure the uber rich in this country won't be left to be guillotined by the masses.

Miffed;-)

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:32 | 4355796 Payable on Death
Payable on Death's picture

I said running out "of", not running out "with".

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 21:07 | 4357382 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I could make a Venn diagram indicating it could be both!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:41 | 4355368 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Yes...dollars...and that is what is so interesting. All this "printing"...so few dollars. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:43 | 4355376 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Damn banks holding all those credits and not lending them out to create dollars.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:51 | 4355401 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

you get junked for that? Wtf....

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:57 | 4355424 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

satoshi101

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:03 | 4355452 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

THE ELITE ARE NOT IN DAVOS!!!!!!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:30 | 4355558 Renfield
Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:36 | 4355813 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

But wouldn't that create inflation?  Oh, wait.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:33 | 4355346 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

HEIL TOILET PAPER !!!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:34 | 4355347 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Remember, he's a socialist... therefore he knows what he is doing.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:52 | 4355407 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"My People! The only mistake America made was they stopped!"

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:33 | 4355349 Cookie
Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:45 | 4356057 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Stupid idiot apologized because as an after thought he realized he just endangered his kid by posting his photo.

FFS

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:35 | 4355351 Battleaxe
Battleaxe's picture

Just like here in the US: Just because you push the needle on the speedometer up to 100 mph with your finger, it doesn't mean you're moving.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:41 | 4355373 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Don't they have very productive land?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:06 | 4355466 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

They do but producing in a commercial scale takes a lot of investment that cannot be ever paid off with the price controls in place or even risking outright seizing of production ... so, nobody takes the risk.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:03 | 4355494 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Worse yet the socialists wait for private investment and then seize the whole enterprize in the name of the sheeple. Actually the elite oligarchy in charge gets ALL the reward and the sheeple get "hope" which is a poison that feeds off empty promises and misplaced anger and keeps good men from doing ANYTHING. Why you can't even wipe your ass with it...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:05 | 4355465 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That's so childish!

Real men use magnets.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:36 | 4355354 youngman
youngman's picture

The Government buddies have plenty of food..they get the first cut...its the rest of the sheeple that lose...and have to pay the black market price...Socialism costs...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:02 | 4355449 SilverDOG
SilverDOG's picture

youngman

 

Much like Argentina, the first cut is exported.

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:37 | 4355357 Uncle Sugar
Uncle Sugar's picture

He would look good at the end of a rope.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:41 | 4355370 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Made of Charmin

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:37 | 4355358 no more banksters
no more banksters's picture

Neoliberal dictatorship threatens Venezuela
Indications that the US incite a Chile-type coup

“The Plan’s 15 “action points” cover sabotage, “massive mobilizations,” food shortages, “insurrection inside the army,” and control of publicity. The authors anticipate “crisis in the streets that facilitate the intervention of North America and the forces of NATO, with support of the government of Colombia.” The resulting 'violence should cause deaths and injuries.'”

http://failedevolution.blogspot.gr/2013/11/neoliberal-dictatorship-threa...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:00 | 4355440 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

The hairy hand of the CIA extends everywhere.....

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:21 | 4355527 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture

 

LOL hairy hand

I never heard it expressed quite so succintly 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:40 | 4355367 wagthetails
wagthetails's picture

just goes to show you how far the ignorant US market will continue to rise.  So basically, stocks will continue to rise until the shelves are empty?  oh man, we have at least another 3-5 years in this country.  get maz leverage and buy now! insanity.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:04 | 4355456 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Actually the shelves empty rather swiftly so your timeline leaves you in the crosshairs. "Don't let your Dad get punched over a can of soup".

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 15:25 | 4356203 css1971
css1971's picture

Nope. Less than a week.

The wonders of Just In Time inventory management.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:43 | 4355375 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Supply and Demand.

If you don't supply food, no TP is demanded.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:45 | 4355378 greatbeard
greatbeard's picture

Hobby farms rule.

 

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:13 | 4355476 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I agree.  From our little farm: mustard greens, cauliflower, and chicken sauté with a nice butter-cream sauce over spaghetti.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:17 | 4355515 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I agree, but it still requires a significant amount of work and energy.

Precisely why I remain long sharecropping.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:42 | 4355604 homiegot
homiegot's picture

You alergic to work?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:56 | 4355667 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

 Not at all troll.  The point is that you will either have the energy and resoures to do the work, or you will starve, period.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:28 | 4355556 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Kick ass FEDX me some of that beats this bowl of oatmeal!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:39 | 4355596 orez65
orez65's picture

Wow!!!
That looks delicious!!!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:54 | 4355650 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

yes it does, i would flip the butter cream sauce for some olive oil, and a couple of wild caught shrimp

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 21:14 | 4357404 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

You need to learn how to color-correct your pictures; either that or you're overcooking some of that green stuff...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:45 | 4355379 enloe creek
enloe creek's picture

gold oil agriculture and powerless people. the perfect set up for corparate takeover. now we just need an opposition leader to step up and take control of the army then government
good times

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:45 | 4355382 Nue
Nue's picture

"I am a socialist and I know what i'm doing"

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:52 | 4355873 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

"I'm from the government, and I'm here to help"

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:49 | 4355393 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

Damn, what will their fsa ever do?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:53 | 4355406 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

I trust we're planning to send in the CIA and military to save these people from themselves and spread the hope inherant in TBTF banks.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:15 | 4355971 therevolutionwas
therevolutionwas's picture

I'm sure the CIA have been operating there for quite some time.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 21:16 | 4357417 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

What for?  Maduro is driving the Venezuelan economy right into the ground all by hisself.  Once everyone gets hungry enough, he WILL BE DEPOSED!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 11:57 | 4355423 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

That's not exactly the right russian anthem...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:22 | 4355537 Ulterior
Ulterior's picture

who said its russian, soviet union was not russia

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:04 | 4355463 youngman
youngman's picture

When is Michael Moore going to visit and say what a great country it is...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:39 | 4355598 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Sean Penn gets dibs....

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:06 | 4355468 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Socialist country running out of food and everything else due to Socialism?

Not to fear! Obama and the US taxpayer to the rescue!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:06 | 4355469 youngman
youngman's picture

In another Communist land..Cuba..they just allowed people to buy new cars...without Government approval....bad news is they cost $200,000....lol...when you make $6 a month...not gonna happen

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:08 | 4355473 NIHILIST CIPHER
NIHILIST CIPHER's picture

Akak said we would all be using cardboard fo housing and food ..........looks like they will need some ketchup for that toilet paper. Cardboard for special occasion meals.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:10 | 4355480 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Fuckin' Venezuelans always trying to one -up the US.

We put in an affirmative action community organizer and they go and stick a bus driver in charge.

 

Next US President should be an semi-autistic school janitor.

That'll show em.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:22 | 4355535 ConqueringFools
ConqueringFools's picture

Forget governor I say we elect Steven Seagall for President!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:22 | 4355768 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

Nah, I say Adam Sandler. Let's see:

1. He's repulsive.

2. He's famous for making crap comedies.

3. And he's a Jew (which will definitely boost his odds).

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:37 | 4356913 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

4.  He (Sandler) is a "Wedding Singer" not a wedding bomber.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:13 | 4355493 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Who needs toilet paper and food when you can have free healthcare?

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:12 | 4355495 market le pew
Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:33 | 4355576 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Sorry, man, I didn't see this before I posted the same damn thing above!

You get the credit but I bet there's a lot more than us who thought of it as soon as we saw the headline.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:13 | 4355500 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

Hey this goes Hand in .. err Ass, no food no need for Toilet Paper

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:19 | 4355522 ConqueringFools
ConqueringFools's picture

Just come to Amerika, the middle class will support you! Long live Chavez! Pelosi is proud!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:21 | 4355524 therover
therover's picture

OK...I have to say it.

If you like your food, you can eat it.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:21 | 4355525 Spungo
Spungo's picture

"Next US President should be an semi-autistic school janitor."

That would probably be a step up since janitors are good at fixing other people's fuckups.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:22 | 4355531 youngman
youngman's picture

Well in a long enough timeline..if you dont have any food...you do not need any toilet paper..problem solved the Socialist way

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:29 | 4355790 markar
markar's picture

Actually, it's a pretty short time line from food to toilet paper

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:30 | 4355563 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

blame it on...the weather....

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:40 | 4355827 PrecipiceWatching
PrecipiceWatching's picture

The weather?!

 

This is ZH.   Blame it on the United States.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:29 | 4355566 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

This is what happens when you mess with the USA.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 16:49 | 4356570 Leaf of Tree
Leaf of Tree's picture

US will get its turn. Will be worse for the United Stateans.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:31 | 4355572 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

Well, if you don't eat then you won't need toilet paper. Socialists have all the solutions. Remember he said "I'm a socialist and I know what I am doing!"

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:33 | 4355575 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

So you want your gold back? Watch this!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:45 | 4355615 pound the vix
pound the vix's picture

Time to see if ipad are edible

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:50 | 4355627 Save_America1st
Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:50 | 4355629 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'll bet Maduro (too bad his name is associated with a good cigar leaf) and his henchmen have no problems acquiring food and toilet paper. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 18:43 | 4356942 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

They are rolling in imported two-ply Charmin and dining on premium steaks from Argentine grass-fed cattle.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:51 | 4355638 Confundido
Confundido's picture

Although I appreciate the dilemma of "Patria o Papel higiénico", I can say quite confidently that I am no longer shaking hands with those brave Venezuelan patriots.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:51 | 4355639 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

i see Janet Yellen dressed as Marie Antoinette, saying "let them eat stocks" the socialist workers paradise in america has no such problems.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:58 | 4355673 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

theyre all pretty fat down there. I think they'll do ok.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:59 | 4355674 Reaper
Reaper's picture

Will the porcine Great Leader, eat equally less?  Where are the brillant Central Planners trained in Venezula?  Will Krugman come to the rescue with "hunger is a positive government program which creates demand to grow the economy?"

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:00 | 4355676 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

This could never happen in America, now get back to work gringoes, you have deep fried pink slime credit card bills to work off.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:00 | 4355677 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

Maybe its time to

"Eat SHIT"!

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:14 | 4355743 esum
esum's picture

this is the SHITHOLE that the congressional black caucus admires and seeks to emulate... what ?? and obumbler as a memeber of the new socialist (communist party) in chicago admires... parasites and bobbleheads gave us this POS... and the black caucus.. and pelosi and reid... stupitidty shows it ass... russia consists of doomed subservient serfs...not the USA ... americans are proud, independent and individuals (well at least half at this point in time)... however the asshole does override the brain as the joke goes.. but hopefully not AMERICA.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:15 | 4355748 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

The good news is that since Venezuela is a socialist country, so the food shortage and misery will be shared equally by (almost) all...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:31 | 4355793 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

I guess 211 tonnes of Gold don't buy what it use to..

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:36 | 4355815 Michigander
Michigander's picture

Hey, He's a Socialist. HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING!

Just ask him.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 13:45 | 4355846 PrecipiceWatching
PrecipiceWatching's picture

God made Venezuela quite fertile, so is this a food DISTRIBUTION problem?

We need to know, because food shortages are predicted for OUR future, even amid the most productive farms in the world.

 

I'm not sure I'm understanding the exact mechanism of how that could possibly play out in the United States.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 15:20 | 4356176 redux2redux
redux2redux's picture

I think that it is a price control problem, oh and if you do a good job at farming they are going to take it away from you and 'distribute' it to others...

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 15:38 | 4356208 PrecipiceWatching
PrecipiceWatching's picture

You mean like our current abysmally unfair, progressive income tax system?

 

So the mechanism is then:

The farmers go Galt, let their land lie fallow, and don't grow shit for the thieving Commies?

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:00 | 4355899 The Duke of New...
The Duke of New York A No.1's picture

The Federal Reserve has the solution for Venezuela;

Sell Venezuela's Gold reserves to the FED (so they can give it to the Germans).

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:17 | 4355965 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Well, if you're a US Central Bankster and want all their oil for Petro-Dollars instead of CNYs, and want that repatriated Gold back from Venezuela, you make sure that you perform Operation 'Magician's Trick"**

** Magician's Trick: Distraction & Action.  Works like a charm 95% of the time on 95% of the people.  The rest don't matter, since they can be managed' or marginalized.

 

(a) The leader who repatriated the gold dies... soon.  Preferably of "natural causes"... like cancer.

(b) Get a dumb-fuck leader appointed, who is guaranteed to lead them to ruin, while driving up debt.

(c) The Debt gets collateralized by National Assets (oil, gold, companies, prime real estate)

(d) Let Time do its magic, beat the "damn socialists", "damn communists" war drums in the MSM and right-wing fringe media, wait for the revolt and collect on the National Collateral at 10 cents on the Dollar.

(e) Get off unscathed or undetected, as the blame-mantra is focused purely on the dipshits you had appointed in (b).  Sad to say, even 95% of 'Libertarians' are too fucking dumb to realize this, as they too respond like Pavlov's dogs to the ringing of the "Communist" bell. 

Can you say Wealth Transfer?

QED.  Mission Completed.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:17 | 4355982 therevolutionwas
therevolutionwas's picture

Take notes, there will be a hands-on test.

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:32 | 4356017 sschu
sschu's picture

I risk the wrath of the stackers, but here goes.

If these starving people had gold or bags of dimes then all would be good.  :-)

PMs, the great isolator.  Do you want to survive the great reset that is chugging down the tracks?  Building community is more important that stacks of shiny stuff.

sschu   

 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:42 | 4356050 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

It doesn't have to be either or.

 

Your stack, if used and managed carefully, will take your assets safely thru to the other side with your wealth intact. Maduro can confiscate land and businesses.

 

And there is always food available at the right price.  

 

Bonds? Cash? Other forms of paper?  Maybe.  Maybe not. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:43 | 4356051 therevolutionwas
therevolutionwas's picture

Both are important. 

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 14:46 | 4356059 PrecipiceWatching
PrecipiceWatching's picture

As long as someone in my "community" has a productive plot of fertile ground, then hell yeah.

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