This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Free Corzine, Er... Bieber

Tyler Durden's picture


When even Bloomberg considers this to be breaking news, the end may indeed be nigh:

From NBC Miami:

Singer Justin Bieber was arrested early Thursday for drag racing and DUI in Miami Beach, police said.


Bieber was in a rented Lamborghini, police sources told NBC 6 South Florida.


No other details of the arrest were immediately known.


Bieber has been spotted in different places around Miami in the past few days, including a Miami Beach skate shop in a photo posted on Instagram.


The Opa-locka Police Department is also investigating an unauthorized escort of Bieber, a police spokesman said Wednesday.


The arrest is the latest brush with the law for the 19-year-old pop star, who catapulted to fame in the late 2000s after a talent manager saw a video of him on YouTube. A neighbor in Bieber's Los Angeles neighborhood recently accused the singer of causing thousands of dollars of damage by throwing eggs at his home, leading detectives to raid Bieber’s mansion in search of evidence. One person at the house was arrested on suspicion of drug possession. Neighbors have also called the cops in the last year with complaints that that Bieber drives recklessly around the neighborhood and plays loud music at parties that last into the early morning.

And there is your circuses point of the day. Now... for the bread.


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:34 | 4358293 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:36 | 4358296 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Lindsay Lohan move over: there's a new crack head in town.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:47 | 4358326 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Every morning I grab a cup of coffee and sit on the throne, hoping to read that Japan's economy melted down like Reactor 4, the Euro blew up and took every member with it, the DOJ arressted half of congress and the POTUS and gold is bouncing off its new support level of $7,000/oz.

Sadly, this arrest will have to suffice for my morning constitutional.

Maybe tomorrow

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:08 | 4358365 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

I thought Hitler killed Justin Bieber a long time ago..

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:04 | 4358762 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

That was one of the better ones I've seen!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:23 | 4359084 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

I know what Corzine is, but WTF is Bieber?

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 11:16 | 4366489 PT
PT's picture

Ever since Elvis Presley died, powers in the music industry have been trying to manufacture a dumber replica (dumber so they can extract more money from him without him noticing).  Bieber is the latest attempt.

Please excuse the comparison with Presley.  If you want a better replica then you need a better audience.  Something like that. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:13 | 4358372 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

DOJ would have to arrest half of itself too.  Nice fantasy land you live in though.

Remember, squeeze, don't clench.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:28 | 4358422 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Well at least you have something worthy of using to wipe with...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:19 | 4358553 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Tabloid BS.  The National ZeroHedge Enquirer

Tylers, cut the crap.  Thanks for your consideration.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:31 | 4359071 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Fast and IneBieberiated?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:32 | 4358433 Silverhog
Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:44 | 4358483 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Now if this kid was a real thug then they'd have to get someone like the SEC to investigate, in which case Andrew Ceresney, the SEC's co-director of enforcement, would have to say

"These cases are not easy cases," he said. "We need to have patience, and results will not happen overnight."

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:00 | 4358541 duo
duo's picture

Hedgeless, this is for you.

Justin at a bar in Miami.


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 11:18 | 4366493 PT
PT's picture

"Referral denied".  I couldn't see the picture.  My internet decided I wasn't allowed to look at it.  I don't remember telling my internet what I wasn't allowed to look at.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:22 | 4358629 insect0man
insect0man's picture

The SEC couldn't find its own ass with both hands and a SQL statement telling them exactly where to find it... it and the several thousand mortgage applications for which the FICO score was falsified by Argent Mortage.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:14 | 4358599 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Only half of congress? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:07 | 4358766 gookempucky
gookempucky's picture

I'LL flush to that.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:47 | 4358327 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 recently accused the singer of causing thousands of dollars of damage by throwing eggs at his home, leading detectives to raid Bieber’s mansion in search of evidence.

I can just imagine how that will proceed:

Hey Sarge! Lookee what we found here!

What's that detective?? Where?

Here! Here in the fridge!

(sargeant gasps, gives a low whistle) Well, son, you screwed the pooch big time, huh? (holds up carton of eggs) You're going down, son... for a long, long time.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:13 | 4358370 Cattender
Cattender's picture

God i hate this little Faggit..

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:19 | 4359076 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture



Kids these days...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:52 | 4358342 thunderchief
thunderchief's picture

What a punk.

He's worse than Vanilla Ice.

And not even as cool!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:35 | 4358295 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

In about 10 years he'll be broke, addicted to drugs, and on the verge of suicide.  I cannot wait to hear how he kills himself.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:29 | 4358428 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I think we can all wait about 10 more minutes, tops.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:41 | 4358469 optimator
optimator's picture

First he'll marry Miley Citrus, a marriage made in .....

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:48 | 4358499 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

It does sound like he's enjoying the ride down, what with the lamborghini's and escorts and all that.  The only mistake I see is that he went to Miami.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:21 | 4358631 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Mind controlled slave...sad!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:36 | 4358297 greatbeard
greatbeard's picture

Who's Justin Bieber?



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:41 | 4358313 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

He is like Mini-Me to Vanilla Ice.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:18 | 4358391 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

nambla poster boy


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4358405 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Not even.  At least Vanilla Ice knew how to do manual labor.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:32 | 4358439 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I met Vanilla Ice (Robert VanWinkle- no joke- that's his real name) on the beach in North Myrtle a couple years ago.  My wife recognized him from some "Where are they now?" documentary so she went over and said hi to him, big fan, blah blah, blah.  He was walking his dog with his Mom at the time, so it was probably a little annoying to him.  Said people still come up to him every now and then.  Didn't get any "get away from me immediately" vibe from him but still didn't spend too much time.  Polite, but not very chatty.  Awful tattoos.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:37 | 4358453 putaipan
putaipan's picture

n. myrtle ... sheesh. makes perfect sense. meet ya at 39th for a double black velvet ....

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:45 | 4358323 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

He's a nobody that entertains other nobodies.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:48 | 4358328 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Yes, but today that makes him A Somebody.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:52 | 4358337 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

well... it's complicated... I know because I have a daughter...

Justin Bieber is a sign that your future son in law will be a moron if she thinks he's cool...


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:00 | 4358355 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

They grow out of it, I promise. We went through the Backstreet Boys and In Synch. The Spice Girls concerned me, but we overcame that too.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:06 | 4358358 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

and yet you ended up reading zerohedge today with the rest of us terrorists...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:10 | 4358368 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I'm only here for the zero's.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4358403 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

not the bitcoin topic again...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:16 | 4358534 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Please refrain from saying "bitcoin". It only attracts fonestar. It is the same thing as saying "Beetlejuice" three times.

It's Showtime (16 secs)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 20:04 | 4360771 Vice
Vice's picture

Now I'm always expecting him to crawl out of the woodwork and go "here I am!" at the slightest mention of crypto


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4358420 brewing
brewing's picture

I'm only here for the sarcasm...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:38 | 4358458 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I think you're the smartest guy arround here.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:45 | 4358488 new game
new game's picture

snark remaks, and of course bitchezz!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 13:59 | 4359498 putaipan
putaipan's picture

important notice for any parents having the same problem ..... (and i'm kind of sorry i even know about this)

turn the kiddies on to a real boy band - the dirty loops. see vid for 'baby'cover. highly recomended to show the

kiddies what a talentless fuck they are being sold. and no, they are not lip sinking, or bass,or ,drum or


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:03 | 4358357 Blano
Blano's picture

Another sign of the Apocalypse.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:37 | 4358298 LMLP
LMLP's picture


Please put him in a cell with the biggest, lonliest dude ever seen!

Pretty smile boy!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:38 | 4358299 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

The Miley Cyrus take down is coming next.  Young, dumb, rich, arrogant and on drugs.  It is as bad as Jamie Dimon telling people "that is why I am richer than you" as his stupidity costs untold billions in losses and fines.

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 22:15 | 4369926 PT
PT's picture

I agree that MC is next but really it is just the natural progression of the career path of the famous entertainer:  Start sweet and innocent, go trashy, free publicity from petty crime, rehab, endless cycles of drugs and then more rehab, endless free publicity from endless cycles of drugs and rehab ... it really shits me.  What a fucking waste of money.  Why do singers need so much money anyway?  So they can buy a fancier microphone????  Doesn't any of them ever feel the urge to put down the crack pipe for a few years and become a nuclear physicist or something?  Do something fun and exciting?  Use their wealth to create a solar-powered flying monster truck or something???  Nah, nah, just give all their money to the local druglords.  Write a diet book.  Write a book about surviving drugs and rehab.  What a pathetic waste ...

Having said that, Madonna seemed to stay out of the endless drug / rehab cycle.  Maybe she knows a thing or two.  I'm not a fan but I'll let her spend all her extra loot on extra-fancy stage shows ... 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:38 | 4358300 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

"A rented Lamborghini".... Sounds about right. What do those things go for? $3k an hour?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:42 | 4358470 PT
PT's picture

A rented Lambo?  Our most famous teeny-bopper hero can only afford to rent a Lambo???  No wonder he went off the rails!  He seriously needs a new manager.  Or maybe all that MP3 piracy really is making a dent in the music industry.  You know the economy is truly in the shitter when your most famous, young, off-the-rails entertainer has to get free bad-boy publicity by throwing eggs and doing burn-outs in a rented Lamborghini.  Hendrix, Morrison, Dean et al will all be laughing in their graves.

I guess none of us were surprised when Biebs went off the rails.  In order to become successful, he had to be a girly-boy and sing all those girly songs.  Of course now he has to try and reclaim his manhood and who is guiding him?  I hate his music but at this stage I think it is okay for me to feel sorry for him.   Biebs, if you can hear me, this is what you need:  Slayer, Bolt Thrower, Damaged, Motorhead, and when you're feeling mellow, unwind with AC/DC, old Metallica and Megadeth.  If you can stay straight and sober long enough then you also need something like an R6 and a Hayabusa - they'll restore your sense of purpose in life but be careful 'cos they can kill you.

You're welcome. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4358529 PT
PT's picture

Perhaps I got that all backwards.  Who's his target market again?  9 year old girls?  That explains why he can't afford to be "too" naughty.  That explains the egg-throwing.  For a long time I have suspected that some of the rich and famous aren't quite as rich as they pretend to be, but I'm still confused about the "rented" Lambo thing.  Maybe he was only in town for a couple of days, I don't know ...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:56 | 4358532 Borrow Owl
Borrow Owl's picture


Rammstein: Buck Dich


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:54 | 4358731 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

I agreed with your first paragraph, but downvoted you for your second. What a bunch of musical trash you recommend! Far better for the Biebs to listen to Britain's "angry young men" of the late 70's/early 80's - Costello, Parker, Jackson, the Clash, les Pistoles de Sexe, and etc. Then he might get a sense of what music could be - didactic but danceable, rhythmic but reality, and profound yet popular. For example: 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:22 | 4359073 PT
PT's picture

Nup.  I'll let you keep that.  Clash did have one or two good songs though.

"Nails" by Damaged.  Man that was hard to find.  Looks like I got no hope of showing you "Dust" or "Dregs".

Sure you won't have a hope in hell of understanding what they're saying, even if you have the lyrics right in front of you, but an awesome sonic assault.  The aural equivalent of riding a Hayabusa naked at 300km/h.
Something about "Nails in the cake of lies".  "Dregs" had something about "Evolution's Dregs", but I like the words to be a bit cryptic.  Sometimes it's actually a disappointment to figure out the meaning.

Bolt Thrower:  Pure Awesomeness:

and Lest We Forget:


and every time I call Biebs a "girl", I have to apologise to these real girls: 

Man it was hard to whittle down the selection.  There is just too much awesomeness out there.  No way will I find a decent array of adjectives to add to "awesomeness" to keep up with that lot.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 14:24 | 4359619 putaipan
putaipan's picture

posting this again so someone will check it out...

what he really needs is to see someone with talent play his own drivel back at him...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 14:38 | 4359666 shiftless
shiftless's picture

-- A rented Lambo? Our most famous teeny-bopper hero can only afford to rent a Lambo???

Hey jackass, you know in Florida if you get caught racing they take (as in, steal) your car, right? If I were him I'd be driving a rental too! Let the assholes impound it. Then the car rental place can get a taste of what fascism is really like.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 11:27 | 4366510 PT
PT's picture

Aaaaaaaahhhhhh, yes, of course!  How silly of me!  I forgot about that teensy little detail!  But I'm still sure that the "heroes" of old would have used their own vehicle, be it through arrogance in thinking that they couldn't get caught or just being so "out of it" that they didn't care.

I live in Australia but we have the same laws here so I guess I shoulda known. 

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 11:43 | 4366539 PT
PT's picture

Coming to think of it, if it had've been his own car then they probably would have confiscated it even if he just left it in first gear too long - "Eeeek!  His car made a noise!  He must be a dangerous hoon!"

Idiocracy was a documentary.  Demolition Man was also a documentary. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:38 | 4358303 beavertails
beavertails's picture

Beib, call Genie Bouchard to bail you out and a date.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:39 | 4358304 MilwaukeeMark
MilwaukeeMark's picture


The Romans continued the practice of holding games roughly 10 to 12 times in an average year. Paid for by the emperor, the games were used to keep the poor and unemployed entertained and occupied. The emperor hoped to distract the poor from their poverty in the hopes that they would not revolt. Over time, the games became more spectacular and elaborate as emperors felt compelled to outdo the previous year's competitons. The games involved more participants, occurred more frequently, and became more expensive and more outlandish.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:40 | 4358307 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

I don't think we need to feed Bieber to the lions.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:48 | 4358330 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Agreed; why are we punishing the lions?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:15 | 4358382 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I'm sure they enjoy junk food as much as the rest of teh 'Murikans.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:50 | 4358334 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

These games held by the Romans were so over the top with the importation of wild animals from North Africa reaching such a level that they nearly wiped out the wildlife. And it wasn't just the emperor who held these games. Ir was also aspiring politicians etc. And let is not forget the cheap bread that was also supplied.

Fast forward a couple of thousand years and it seems that nothing has changed. The only difference is that back then these tactics were new and perhaps people had an excuse for not realising what the poliiticians were up to. But today there is no excuse. We are definitely dumber than ever before. The advent of the welfare state has put an end to potential increases in the collective IQ of humanity. Dumb, dumber, dead.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:31 | 4358435 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 17:37 | 4360293 Matt
Matt's picture

It seems that most of the people at the time would rather be poor in Rome than go farm in Gaul, Germania or Britain. They chose to be poor, but were angry about it, rather than suffer the hardship of owning land and working it in a less hospitable climate.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:52 | 4358340 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 Paid for by the emperor, the games were used to keep the poor and unemployed entertained and occupied. The emperor hoped to distract the poor from their poverty in the hopes that they would not revolt.

I imagine watching people being stabbed/dismembered/eviscerated was a nice reminder of the probable consequences of sedition, too. Win/win for the omnibenevolent Emperor and his cronies.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:40 | 4358308 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

The MSM makes you... the MSM breaks you.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:49 | 4358329 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

ZH going Bieber/TMZ on us may be some sort of black swan. Either it's time to load the boat and learn to love the fact that we have gone full retard, or maybe it's time to tip toe over to the bunker without drawing any attention.

Either way I am blown away that I am reading a faggot Bieber update on here. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:56 | 4358348 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

In that case perhaps reread the first line again

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:09 | 4358356 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



This one?

When even Bloomberg considers this to be breaking news, the end may indeed be nigh:


It's OK......I think Vanilla Ice is still doing fine. At least I hope so.....maybe someone should check on him. Maybe we could get an update from CNBC....if Bloomberg is busy.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:36 | 4358414 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

deleted...whatever...we are fucked (not sure my post ever really disagreed with the first line)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:38 | 4358457 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Well, news make the market, don't they? Tyler is right: If enough people regard this as important news, it is a self fulfilling prophecy. You know that enough repititions will make it a truth. You of all people shirley know this ...   ;-)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:43 | 4358473 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I have the unfortunate displeasure of having CNBC/Bloomberg on behind me most of the day. For anyone who does, they know that if we are going to start putting the complete garbage that they consider "newsworthy" on here...well then I am going to start drinking Brawndo instead of coffee in the morning.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:46 | 4358491 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture


You're probably not going to tell me.....but I gotta ask.....what did you delete?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:56 | 4358516 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I would tell you anything. The more I went on to make the case about how ridiculous it was that I was reading a Bieber post on here the more I realized it was pointless. As my post never really disagreed with the first line that Tyler wanted me to read again. So I guess I was surprised Tyler popped in. If anything I was just being repetitive.

With that said, the stuff Bloomberg etc considers news is mindnumbing. So I sure hope we don't piggy back it here, even in jest, or click bait. Otherwise we all may as well just read bloomberg. (that's not my junk)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 15:05 | 4359779 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

+(dow) 30,000

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:46 | 4358493 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Mmmmh ... electrolytes!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:59 | 4358535 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Yeah! the kid does good, goes out and has some fun, and then gets arrested, while Corzine steals big-time and walks.  WTF?!!!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:43 | 4358317 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Bieber and the thousands of others that didn't make front page news.


Eat 'em up and spit 'em out hollywood.


Isn't it interesting that the largest porn hub in the world - San Fernando Valley - area code 818 and just down the street from the major Hollywood studios

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 17:40 | 4360302 Matt
Matt's picture

Everyone wants to be a movie star, but many end up not making it. A lot of Youtubers are now in that area, as well.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:45 | 4358322 Debt Slave
Debt Slave's picture

That little faggot got his own jet airplane...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:47 | 4358325 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

And the ticker BIEB goes down 435%.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 17:48 | 4360325 Matt
Matt's picture

Naw, now he's got street cred, yo! Makin da trazishun to bein a man, dawg! Many child stars seem to feel the need to make a hard-cut transition from clean-cut children's entertainment.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:49 | 4358331 PeaBird
PeaBird's picture

And Bieber will now see the light whilst in custody, and come out of retirement? is that how the script goes? hahaha

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:36 | 4358447 optimator
optimator's picture

As long as he wears his Yarmulka he'll be pretty safe from going into custody.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:52 | 4358520 new game
new game's picture

in the middle east they chop off your dick or something like that?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:49 | 4358332 youngman
youngman's picture

the 15 minutes is over..way over.....but this is the MUSIC industry now...all made up wonder sales are way down...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:50 | 4358333 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

''The US military is expanding secretive Special Forces at an ever faster rate. Few know the exact reach of these Special Ops, but there are thought to be 11,000 officers on active missions in 80 countries at any one time.''

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:52 | 4358339 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

oops...........sorry, thought this was ZHedge

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:14 | 4358378 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Had you read the article you would have realized it was Bloomberg.


You have 5 more minutes to study....then we're gonna give the test.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:17 | 4358384 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

i really dont give a flying fuck what bloomturd has to say so go fuck urself

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:25 | 4358408 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



So......I geuss we'll take that as a it!


While we're here.....anything else?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4358421 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

I dont follow the jew stream media.........

get it?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:47 | 4358497 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Hold on.....I'm gonna need a lot bigger notepad for this.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:04 | 4358548 PT
PT's picture

dick cheneys ghost:

"CIA:  Mission To Burundi" by John M Bernier.

First couple of pages were hard to get into but quite an amusing story after that.  I think it will explain a lot. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:51 | 4358336 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

While we are at it:  Free Beer!...Free Prostitutes!...Free Rick!...Free Money! (Oh, wait! We already have that one...)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:53 | 4358525 pods
pods's picture

I'd settle for free Francis Sawyer.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:53 | 4358343 smacker
smacker's picture

Justin Bieber?

Isn't he the little punk who presents himself to fans as the do-good-little-boy-virgin who is every mother's dream kid?

I recall he had a spot of bother in London a while back when he got out of his limo and almost assaulted a journalist.

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 22:21 | 4369940 PT
PT's picture

All part of his job description.

Besides, how would you feel if you were his age, sung the crap he sings, and then suddenly realize that your fortune relies on you singing like a girl but you're at the age where you want to be respected as a man?  If he didn't go off the rails then there would probably be something wrong with him. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:54 | 4358345 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

Next line in script:  Bieber heads to Rehab for egg-throwing addiction and his stool is stolen from his jailhouse toilet, dried, and parceled out into 10 segments, placed in a crystal vial, corked, and auctioned off on E-bay with the highest ever paid for a piece of human excrement. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:33 | 4358442 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Better story; Bieber himself is "dried, and parceled out into 10 segments, placed in a crystal vial, corked, and auctioned off on E-bay with the highest ever paid for a piece of human excrement."

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:55 | 4358346 horot
horot's picture

Jeez Tylers! Y'all covering Hollywood celebrities now?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:06 | 4358360 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

HANG HIM !! ...... It's time to start a war with the Canadiens. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:13 | 4358373 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Can you charge and make money for that?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:20 | 4358787 Red Herring
Red Herring's picture


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:12 | 4358789 Red Herring
Red Herring's picture

i, on the other hand, welcome my young canadian pussy overlords

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:08 | 4358363 Nom de Guerre
Nom de Guerre's picture

It was as though millions of Tweens cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

I feel a great disturbance in the farce.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:15 | 4358381 thorgodofthunder
thorgodofthunder's picture

One of the world's youngest, biggest & highest grossing pop stars gets arrested for a DUI and faces jail time. Yes, a breaking story on any diversified media outlet.

I don't get the hate here for EVERYTHING. Are you guys that hard done by in your lives that you must disqualify any success of any kind?


I'm relieved Beiber didn't injure anyone, or himself in this sad incident.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:19 | 4358393 Bohm Squad
Bohm Squad's picture

It's likely "success" is defined differently by ZH readers...I for one don't see this kid as successful.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:08 | 4358769 Red Herring
Red Herring's picture


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:09 | 4358770 Red Herring
Red Herring's picture


When you were 19 (or, when you get to be 19, i don't know your story), and there are 100,000 , or more, girls, willing to do whatever it takes to just get *close* to you, let alone be with you, and, AND, you have a Lambo....


I get it, maybe Roman Abramovich or Bill Gates or some other multi-millionaire dude has a different measure of success, but I certainly would not complain.


Now, when you get into your 70s, and all you got going for you is your imagination, when it's awake, one thing...


Don't hate the playa!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 17:53 | 4360332 Matt
Matt's picture

Speaking of Roman Abramovich, here's his (white) partner sitting on a black woman (shaped chair)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:27 | 4358419 Calculus99
Calculus99's picture

NO! The point is simple, there are many many news outlets for celebrity crap and supposedly news outlets for financial/politcal news, that sort of thing.

If this crap isn't stopped then celebrity news starts to move into financial news. It won't therefore be long before the news is 'stocks up today, rumours abound that P Diddy goes long'. Basically anything and everything has to come with some celeb juice added.

Quite frankly it's pathetic.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:29 | 4358430 brewing
brewing's picture has a daily porn industry update.  it's all about the clicks...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:31 | 4358432 optimator
optimator's picture

Celebrity news is moving to financial news.  Didn't you wake up to see the futures on CNBS and find Goldie Hawn?  Didn't you know Angelina Jolie is on the CFR?  They do have something in common other than money and it is news.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:44 | 4358699 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

If people want to crap all over Bloomberg for reporting this, that's fine with me. But why are they shitting all over some young kid?

The kid's 19, rich, and has an amazing car. How many of us wouldn't have wanted to get behind the wheel and see what it can do? Throwing eggs at his neighbour's house? If he were a rapper, he'd have probably sprayed it with a Mac-10, and the neighbour wouldn't have said shit for fear of a repeat.

I'm not saying the kid doesn't need (and is certainly going to get) a reality check, but lay off the hate!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:15 | 4359059 thorgodofthunder
thorgodofthunder's picture

I'm not a fan of his either, but I get the breakdown that's unraveling and certsinly don't begrudge this incredibly talented kid for his unbelievable success.

Zerohedge is just as complicit in the cult of celeb as Bloomberg. Difference is Bloomberg is less bias.

I long for days when's ZH reverts back to reporting more truth and less judgement. It was a more interesting place than this negative, hate filled den of failure.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 15:11 | 4359808 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

MDB is that you?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4358400 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

When you personally peak @ 16 YO.  Driving the hotest cars, banging the hottest chicks.  You know,  the rest of your life is gonna suck.. Nice confirmation bevs..

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:37 | 4358411 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

that little punk is going to kill someone

bloomturd jumped the shark years ago.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:37 | 4358450 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Bullish - for PR.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:32 | 4358436 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture


Bieber can tell you that if your in the USA and you feel like a PALESTINIAN, its because the USA got 'occupied' by the NAZIS in 1930's, basically right wing LIKUD Zionist nuts, and they systematically since the 1950's have made the USA into Occupied Palestine.

[ Study Shirers book "rise & fall of 3rd reich", you can see that Zionists helped empower Hitler ]


1.) Make sure the cops are from another state, so they don't live near or empathize with the victim

2.) Make sure the soliders that occupy an area come from far away, so they will shoot to kill on order.

Long ago in the USA nobody would think to let a sheriff or judge, or cop, or MIL be an outsider, but in the last 40 years the frog was boiled, now every american is labeled a terrorist in his own country. A criminal in his own State, and hostage in his own home.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4358441 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     From what I hear John E. Law takes a dim view on DUI's under the age of 21. He's gonna lose his license for a while.

   I'm sure we will see a lot of little "twinkle toes" in the headlines this year. He's in the system so it's on like donkey kong now.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:57 | 4358446 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture

Does anyone one here understand that ABC Media has gone full retard in their attempt to get MAX CLICKS.

Biebers arrest is the hottest news in the world right now, and ZH would nothing more like than to have every 12-14 year girl come to this site and click ad's "Schiff's Anal Shaving Wax", and "Bitcoin Training Bra's".

It's all about "click's" and the MORE keywords on BIEBER or Kardashian, then the higher ZH goes in ad ranking, and at the end of the day, its all about AD ranking.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:36 | 4358451 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

"I don't always drive a Lamborghini...

But when I do...


I never get caught."

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:44 | 4358478 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

I can honestly say that I've never heard the little bitch sing.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:51 | 4358513 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture





Now I don't feel so alone.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:53 | 4358510 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

A couple of years ago this asshat was on the Universal lot, so we ran out to eyeball this imp taking delivery of a Murcielago, a car way way way out of a teenager's league, let alone anyone who has never been near a machine like that. He was dumbfounded as how to operate it. A Lambo rep had to come out and show him how to start it.  I'm sure at some point he piled it.

This obsession with media starlet sweethearts is one the greatest ditractions for the TV/Fluoride guzzlers. They live through people like this and their favourite thug NBA/NFL stars, thinking that their money and fame somehow magically translates to them. It's fucking vapid, spooky shit.


That said, Jason Statham rolled up the other day in his silver Aventador. Goddamn, that car looks like a carnivorous spaceship. Amazing design work.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4358527 satoshi101
satoshi101's picture


When even Bloomberg considers this to be breaking news, the end may indeed be nigh:

BREAKING: @justinbieber arrested


Well TYLER has a point the end is near :(

Or perhaps TPTB want to distract you from some goldman sachs money transfer of USA assets to china to cover a muppet deal gone bad?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:09 | 4358572 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

ZH considers this news, of a sort, as well. Too bad.



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:28 | 4358649 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Give the punk a kilo of coke, super glue a Go-Pro to his forehead, and BAM, instant reality show.  Come on now, cash in on personal destruction, this is Murica people!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:58 | 4358744 wcvarones
wcvarones's picture

Rented Lamborghini?


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 17:56 | 4360350 Matt
Matt's picture

Oh, do you buy a new lambourghini in every city you travel to for the weekend?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:05 | 4359021 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 13:24 | 4359351 Duude
Duude's picture

Imagine if you had $100 million in the bank at 19 years of age.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 15:11 | 4359787 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

I am Justin Bieber, 50 years old carpenter from Ohio. I currently live in Maine. I like prostitutes, booze and cigarettes. FUCK KIDS.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!