Free Corzine, Er... Bieber

Tyler Durden's picture


When even Bloomberg considers this to be breaking news, the end may indeed be nigh:

From NBC Miami:

Singer Justin Bieber was arrested early Thursday for drag racing and DUI in Miami Beach, police said.


Bieber was in a rented Lamborghini, police sources told NBC 6 South Florida.


No other details of the arrest were immediately known.


Bieber has been spotted in different places around Miami in the past few days, including a Miami Beach skate shop in a photo posted on Instagram.


The Opa-locka Police Department is also investigating an unauthorized escort of Bieber, a police spokesman said Wednesday.


The arrest is the latest brush with the law for the 19-year-old pop star, who catapulted to fame in the late 2000s after a talent manager saw a video of him on YouTube. A neighbor in Bieber's Los Angeles neighborhood recently accused the singer of causing thousands of dollars of damage by throwing eggs at his home, leading detectives to raid Bieber’s mansion in search of evidence. One person at the house was arrested on suspicion of drug possession. Neighbors have also called the cops in the last year with complaints that that Bieber drives recklessly around the neighborhood and plays loud music at parties that last into the early morning.

And there is your circuses point of the day. Now... for the bread.

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Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:34 | 4358293 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:36 | 4358296 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Lindsay Lohan move over: there's a new crack head in town.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:47 | 4358326 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Every morning I grab a cup of coffee and sit on the throne, hoping to read that Japan's economy melted down like Reactor 4, the Euro blew up and took every member with it, the DOJ arressted half of congress and the POTUS and gold is bouncing off its new support level of $7,000/oz.

Sadly, this arrest will have to suffice for my morning constitutional.

Maybe tomorrow

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:08 | 4358365 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

I thought Hitler killed Justin Bieber a long time ago..

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:04 | 4358762 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

That was one of the better ones I've seen!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:23 | 4359084 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

I know what Corzine is, but WTF is Bieber?

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 11:16 | 4366489 PT
PT's picture

Ever since Elvis Presley died, powers in the music industry have been trying to manufacture a dumber replica (dumber so they can extract more money from him without him noticing).  Bieber is the latest attempt.

Please excuse the comparison with Presley.  If you want a better replica then you need a better audience.  Something like that. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:13 | 4358372 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

DOJ would have to arrest half of itself too.  Nice fantasy land you live in though.

Remember, squeeze, don't clench.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:28 | 4358422 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Well at least you have something worthy of using to wipe with...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:19 | 4358553 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Tabloid BS.  The National ZeroHedge Enquirer

Tylers, cut the crap.  Thanks for your consideration.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:31 | 4359071 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Fast and IneBieberiated?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:32 | 4358433 Silverhog
Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:44 | 4358483 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Now if this kid was a real thug then they'd have to get someone like the SEC to investigate, in which case Andrew Ceresney, the SEC's co-director of enforcement, would have to say

"These cases are not easy cases," he said. "We need to have patience, and results will not happen overnight."

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:00 | 4358541 duo
duo's picture

Hedgeless, this is for you.

Justin at a bar in Miami.


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 11:18 | 4366493 PT
PT's picture

"Referral denied".  I couldn't see the picture.  My internet decided I wasn't allowed to look at it.  I don't remember telling my internet what I wasn't allowed to look at.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:22 | 4358629 insect0man
insect0man's picture

The SEC couldn't find its own ass with both hands and a SQL statement telling them exactly where to find it... it and the several thousand mortgage applications for which the FICO score was falsified by Argent Mortage.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:14 | 4358599 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Only half of congress? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:07 | 4358766 gookempucky
gookempucky's picture

I'LL flush to that.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:47 | 4358327 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 recently accused the singer of causing thousands of dollars of damage by throwing eggs at his home, leading detectives to raid Bieber’s mansion in search of evidence.

I can just imagine how that will proceed:

Hey Sarge! Lookee what we found here!

What's that detective?? Where?

Here! Here in the fridge!

(sargeant gasps, gives a low whistle) Well, son, you screwed the pooch big time, huh? (holds up carton of eggs) You're going down, son... for a long, long time.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:13 | 4358370 Cattender
Cattender's picture

God i hate this little Faggit..

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:19 | 4359076 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture



Kids these days...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:52 | 4358342 thunderchief
thunderchief's picture

What a punk.

He's worse than Vanilla Ice.

And not even as cool!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:35 | 4358295 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

In about 10 years he'll be broke, addicted to drugs, and on the verge of suicide.  I cannot wait to hear how he kills himself.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:29 | 4358428 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I think we can all wait about 10 more minutes, tops.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:41 | 4358469 optimator
optimator's picture

First he'll marry Miley Citrus, a marriage made in .....

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:48 | 4358499 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

It does sound like he's enjoying the ride down, what with the lamborghini's and escorts and all that.  The only mistake I see is that he went to Miami.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:21 | 4358631 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Mind controlled slave...sad!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:36 | 4358297 greatbeard
greatbeard's picture

Who's Justin Bieber?



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:41 | 4358313 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

He is like Mini-Me to Vanilla Ice.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:18 | 4358391 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

nambla poster boy


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4358405 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Not even.  At least Vanilla Ice knew how to do manual labor.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:32 | 4358439 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I met Vanilla Ice (Robert VanWinkle- no joke- that's his real name) on the beach in North Myrtle a couple years ago.  My wife recognized him from some "Where are they now?" documentary so she went over and said hi to him, big fan, blah blah, blah.  He was walking his dog with his Mom at the time, so it was probably a little annoying to him.  Said people still come up to him every now and then.  Didn't get any "get away from me immediately" vibe from him but still didn't spend too much time.  Polite, but not very chatty.  Awful tattoos.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:37 | 4358453 putaipan
putaipan's picture

n. myrtle ... sheesh. makes perfect sense. meet ya at 39th for a double black velvet ....

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:45 | 4358323 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

He's a nobody that entertains other nobodies.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:48 | 4358328 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Yes, but today that makes him A Somebody.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:52 | 4358337 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

well... it's complicated... I know because I have a daughter...

Justin Bieber is a sign that your future son in law will be a moron if she thinks he's cool...


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:00 | 4358355 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

They grow out of it, I promise. We went through the Backstreet Boys and In Synch. The Spice Girls concerned me, but we overcame that too.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:06 | 4358358 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

and yet you ended up reading zerohedge today with the rest of us terrorists...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4358403 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

not the bitcoin topic again...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 10:16 | 4358534 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Please refrain from saying "bitcoin". It only attracts fonestar. It is the same thing as saying "Beetlejuice" three times.

It's Showtime (16 secs)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 20:04 | 4360771 Vice
Vice's picture

Now I'm always expecting him to crawl out of the woodwork and go "here I am!" at the slightest mention of crypto


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4358420 brewing
brewing's picture

I'm only here for the sarcasm...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:38 | 4358458 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I think you're the smartest guy arround here.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:45 | 4358488 new game
new game's picture

snark remaks, and of course bitchezz!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 13:59 | 4359498 putaipan
putaipan's picture

important notice for any parents having the same problem ..... (and i'm kind of sorry i even know about this)

turn the kiddies on to a real boy band - the dirty loops. see vid for 'baby'cover. highly recomended to show the

kiddies what a talentless fuck they are being sold. and no, they are not lip sinking, or bass,or ,drum or


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 09:03 | 4358357 Blano
Blano's picture

Another sign of the Apocalypse.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:37 | 4358298 LMLP
LMLP's picture


Please put him in a cell with the biggest, lonliest dude ever seen!

Pretty smile boy!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 08:38 | 4358299 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

The Miley Cyrus take down is coming next.  Young, dumb, rich, arrogant and on drugs.  It is as bad as Jamie Dimon telling people "that is why I am richer than you" as his stupidity costs untold billions in losses and fines.

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 22:15 | 4369926 PT
PT's picture

I agree that MC is next but really it is just the natural progression of the career path of the famous entertainer:  Start sweet and innocent, go trashy, free publicity from petty crime, rehab, endless cycles of drugs and then more rehab, endless free publicity from endless cycles of drugs and rehab ... it really shits me.  What a fucking waste of money.  Why do singers need so much money anyway?  So they can buy a fancier microphone????  Doesn't any of them ever feel the urge to put down the crack pipe for a few years and become a nuclear physicist or something?  Do something fun and exciting?  Use their wealth to create a solar-powered flying monster truck or something???  Nah, nah, just give all their money to the local druglords.  Write a diet book.  Write a book about surviving drugs and rehab.  What a pathetic waste ...

Having said that, Madonna seemed to stay out of the endless drug / rehab cycle.  Maybe she knows a thing or two.  I'm not a fan but I'll let her spend all her extra loot on extra-fancy stage shows ... 

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