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Hacked CNN Reports "China Dumps All US Bonds"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It's one thing for the Comedy News Network formerly known as CNN to announce the opposite verdict on Obamacare as breaking news or that the TV studio formerly known as the NYSE is under 3 feet of water (based on what it saw on Twitter). It's something else entirely for it to report that China has declared semi-hot war on the US (unless of course CNN is merely reporting tomorrow's news today).

This is a cached version of a CNN website that appeared one short hour ago.

Luckily this time it was merely a a hack, as can be seen by the "article's" subsequent deletion from the live page and CNN's mea culpa:

  • CNN SAYS SOME OF ITS SOCIAL MEDIAL ACCOUNTS WERE COMPROMISED
  • CNN SAYS COMPROMISED ACCOUNTS INCLUDE TWITTER PAGE, FACEBOOK

But perhaps more telling is the complete lack of market response to even the hacked article, so different to the AP hack from last summer when the market plunged if only briefly following a hacked AP tweet. Just goes to show how irrelvant the once upon a time only news network has become.

h/t @rosswernej

 

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Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:22 | 4361000 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

< Hack?

< Time shifted warning from future me.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:25 | 4361016 outofideas
outofideas's picture

Anyone else terrified of the day when HFT's can't figure out it was a hack? Or when they understandably confuse The Onion with real news?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:26 | 4361025 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

HFT bots know everything that is on CNN is faked.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:29 | 4361041 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Puss Morgan just started crying "mommy" on air..........and asking for his guns back

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:37 | 4361062 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

CNN has a website?  Huh.  Who knew?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:53 | 4361118 Rick Blaine
Rick Blaine's picture

LMAO

The first time I read the headline, I missed the word "hacked."

I'm still cleaning the beer off my screen...which I violently spit out in shock.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:54 | 4361123 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Did anyone see contrails off the west coast rising up from the sea? No? Phew!!!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:01 | 4361141 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

Must have been fonestar.....sucking balls.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:25 | 4361215 synergize
synergize's picture

So would this mean the Dow rises 200 or 300 points?  BTFD or BTFATH?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:41 | 4361285 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Must use the same security company as Obamacare and Target.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:51 | 4361329 Manthong
Manthong's picture

hmm.. I seem to recall a plume rising up from the water on the west coast off of L.A, that was explained away as a contraii...

I don't F'n'think so.

http://live.wsj.com/video/mystery-missile-shot-off-the-coast-of-california/0A9122B7-8B6C-4760-A40E-A70887771593.html#!0A9122B7-8B6C-4760-A40E-A70887771593

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:06 | 4361396 seek
seek's picture

Neither did a former deputy secretary of defense:

"KFMB, a local CBS station, took the video to former U.S. Ambassador to NATO and former U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense Robert Ellsworth, who called the launch "spectacular" and confirmed that indeed it was quite a large rocket. He also said it didn't appear to him to be a Tomahawk missile. He did speculate that with President Obama touring Asia at the moment the launch could have been a demonstration of an ICBM to show military might."

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:24 | 4361432 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

SLBMs, Snowden (surfaced first in Hong Kong, then successfully departed for Russia), Senkaku Islands.

Mark Faber said the next war will have already begun years before the average person knows it.

Didn't the SLBM launch occur when Obama was in Asia, just days after QE2 was announced?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:36 | 4361507 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Who the fuck is CNN?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:53 | 4361552 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

I knew it was a hack, CNN would never speak the truth, especially a scoop on that truth.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:07 | 4361583 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Yellen's balance sheet would be swellin.  Just keep printing moar!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:37 | 4361655 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

You didn't hack that !

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:48 | 4361678 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

China dumps all U.S. bonds.

U.S. dumps many bombs.

Paul "When Mars Attacks" Krugman enthusiastically cheers global, window breaking war on!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:11 | 4361795 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

You can tell it was a hack because no one paid to have the story placed there.

 

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 04:42 | 4361916 saveandsound
saveandsound's picture

China dumps bonds - Yellen buys them all!

100% confident.

However, things might start moving at that point. Ha, at least you can rely on your vasalls, uhm, allies!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:13 | 4361968 old naughty
old naughty's picture

CNN sets standard for forward guidance...ha!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:59 | 4362001 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

 

How did that report come out? I thought CNN just layed off everyone.

 

We're moving FORWARD.....here's your pink slip.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 08:56 | 4362174 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

I instantly Alt-tabbed to check the gold price. Nadda.

Only than did I notice the word "hacked"

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 10:41 | 4362493 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Nice thing about official numbers is they are whatever officials say they are.  How do we know this is not already underway?

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:19 | 4361972 J J Pettigrew
J J Pettigrew's picture

It was november 30th a couple of years ago...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:17 | 4361436 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Wish this were all true and maybe will happen in the future.

Anyhow, the fact that we cant rely on anything we see on the internet anymore means that one day we will just treat any event with a grain of salt because we assume its just a hack. Well one day it will really be the TRUTH and we, the sheeple, will be just be so unprepared for it.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:45 | 4361672 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

China would never try to get out from under the US Debt in such an overt way.  Unless they were just bluffing and stood to gain billions from taking the otherside of the trade for a quickie. 

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:18 | 4361971 old naughty
old naughty's picture

or, someone is trying to tell/show them what to do...

 "once upon a time only"  jockey B bitched to Jockey A: "Whythefuck you whip my horse for?"

Jockey A:"Sht man, it's time to move pass them fuckers before the stretch..."

 

Once upon a time only (?)

 

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:09 | 4361411 ShakaZulu
ShakaZulu's picture

This is how they will return our bonds.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:52 | 4361335 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

"Tragedy today as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves."

"He was delicious..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkhwiuRbOEE

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:06 | 4361392 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Did i read right? - 'China takes a dump in the south sea?'

 

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:09 | 4361405 philipat
philipat's picture

It's fortunate that the entire combined audience of CNN, MSNBC and CNBC only reaches double digits.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 01:39 | 4361755 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

CNN has its lowest ratings in 30 years. They don't even crack 99,000 viewers in PRIME TIME!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:25 | 4361440 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Aw geez, what kind of BS is this?

Next thing you know some clown will be claiming Obama’S SSN is NOT from Chicago or Hawaii or that he  was a foreign student at Harvard to get free education or that he came into Columbia University as an Indonesian or some other idiocy like that.

F’n crazy talk.

Crap.. like he would claim to seek out Marxists, or smoke choom, or snort coke, or claim his Muslim religion or embrace a crazy Liberation Theology idealoguge preacher and have his Amazons babtized by him or something stupid like that.

Get real.   

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:36 | 4361501 Manthong
Manthong's picture

hmmph..

at least he will have +200 rounds of golf by the time he retires to the luxurious property adjacent to Oprah on his adopted homeland.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:39 | 4361512 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

Hah! Manthong, good summary of why it has become so difficult to "get real" in a world so totally dominated by runaway lies that there is very little which remains which is not lies, and satires seem more accurate than the mass media.

When I first glanced at this article, my understanding of "hacked" was that CNN had a story which they were suppressing, but then hackers had been able to access it, in order to reveal that story. ... (I suppose that suggests something about myself, but I do not know what.) However, fortunately, the Chinese do not seem, as yet, to be rushing to commit suicide, although they appear to enjoy dancing along the precipice more and more, like Russia and the USA have been doing for decades.

Meanwhile, I have a hard time imagining how the Chinese expect to gradually finesse dumping depreciating American Treasury assets, without triggering some runaway social insanities on a global scale. It is quite the tightrope walk to try to not fall off on either side! Therefore, I would not be too surprised to learn that they had slipped off, in one way or another, within the foreseeable future.

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:46 | 4361528 Manthong
Manthong's picture

:-)

They do not care about about their dollar reserves anymoar....

they have about all the "precious' that has been spooled into the market by the fools at the Fed and their cronies. 

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 07:20 | 4362019 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

When I first glanced at this article, my understanding of "hacked" was that CNN had a story which they were suppressing, but then hackers had been able to access it, in order to reveal that story...

 

Yeah I understand.

 

Perhaps you remember the report of the collapse of World Trade Bldg #7...30 MINUTES BEFORE IT HAPPENED. Amazing that they knew the result. They must have some clairvoyants working for them, right?

Perhaps you remember the lengthy in depth stories published mere minutes after an FOMC Statement..

 

Yes I do understand.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 08:43 | 4362139 Ganja Jane
Ganja Jane's picture

I know someone who is a sound engineer and works for ABC and the UN. The news agencies actually do this. No joke.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:01 | 4361143 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Isnt this the new Jack Ryan movie?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:39 | 4361202 Manthong
Manthong's picture

..at least an onion in the bush is worth two wishes in the twat.

WTF..  somebody out there with the negative wavelenghts?

eat it..  :-)

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:19 | 4361802 fedupwhiteguy
fedupwhiteguy's picture

moriarty at it again!!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyh-JpWdGmQ

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:39 | 4361284 max2205
max2205's picture

Damn my time machine broke...

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:08 | 4361584 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

Thats some funny shit right there, I don't care what anyone says.

The Carnival Splendor lost all electrical power that same day (Nov.  8th) was to be towed to Mexico (closest port) but then the Navy had it towed to San Diego.

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:29 | 4361224 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture

 

 

"The first time I read the headline, I missed the word "hacked."


Same here but this headline is real...

 

China bank chief shuts door on burned investors

 

http://www.cnbc.com/id/101359149

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:06 | 4361575 Manthong
Manthong's picture

..coming to an unsecured ZIRP loan (AKA : DEPOSIT account) near you soon.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:23 | 4361809 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Oh Lord, if only it were true....if only it were true!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:03 | 4361145 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

The article was actually placed there by the CNN News editor.  Afterwords he told one of his investors: "See.  I told you no-one reads anything we print anymore."

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:37 | 4361263 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Yep, this is no different than all the whoppers they tell every day!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:40 | 4361074 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Chinese hackers?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:56 | 4361124 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

The whole Syria script failed to capture the imagination, interest and fear of the audience.  A real flop.

China, Japan and the USA. Well fuck, man, that is how you get asses in the seats. 

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:07 | 4361582 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Actually, speaking of Syria, Variety magazine notes an attack on CNN by the Syrian Free Army, and said they posted about Al Qaida and the CIA. They don't mention anything about China.

Possible that two different groups hacked CNN in one afternoon?

http://variety.com/2014/digital/news/cnn-hacked-by-syrian-electronic-army-1201068785/

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:25 | 4361465 PeaceMonger
PeaceMonger's picture

TPTB must be getting nervous and throwing more trial balloons out.   Exactly why the e-minis are higher on this "news".

Shit-storm's a-coming

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:26 | 4361029 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

CNN's hackers can't even get that right!

 

The real headline should be that Chinese HACKERS dump all of Target's Corporate bonds on the Fed.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:40 | 4361072 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

It was called "Hack 'N Sack" back in the day, when banksters used to dump stories on the ticker in order to make a killing on the market.

Poor ol' CNN, they were used and even this B.S. couldn't rouse a response. No one even bats an eye!

Oh-h-h the humiliation!!!

*deservedly so*

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:42 | 4361524 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

One would think they would be embarrassed..., but no!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:04 | 4361385 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

That is exactly what they might do first: dump the corporate bonds then dump the US bonds. Beautiful.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:15 | 4361605 odatruf
odatruf's picture

The logic doesn't follow.

So they dump bonds causing a glut and the price to fall. People buy them or they don't. Rember we are taking about the 2nd market. So if they get bought, the new owners got a fire sale and the resulting high yield.  Bully for them. If there are no bids, they don't sell and the Chinesse still own them.  Bully for them, but now they are naked.

OK you may say, but with so much paper out there sloshing around with higher yeilds, what's going to happen at the next Fed auction?  I'll tell you what: same as it has been.  The Fed will buy what it needs to buy and not a billion dimes less.

Can anyone tell me one way in which a fire sale hurts the Treasury?  I understand that corporations may not fare as well, but Auntie Janet can buy any kind of paper she wants, so there is backstopping possible there too.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 07:31 | 4362023 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

You cannot be serious...

 

It would spike Interest Rates immediately. That would cause a massive imbalance in the CDS markst and be more than enough to implode the $700 Trillion to $1.6 Quadrillion Derivatives Markets. It will crash the entire World Economy with one action.

 

(China does not care as they have already planned for an exit. They have been buying the Gold.)

 

That would not hurt anything whatsoever..../s

 

 

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 13:26 | 4366793 odatruf
odatruf's picture

It would spike interest rates and do as you say if we had an orderly and non-controlled market.  But, if the Fed now buys 60 - 70 - 80 or even greater percent of Treasury notes sold at the primary auction, why not 95, 99 or even 100% of them? And oif they are buying that many, they are setting the price and interest rate paid for fedearl borrowing.

And the commercial paper is tied to the window policy. You think zero is really a lower bound when Aunt Janet can amp up the buy on any paper she wants?

Seriously yourself. Provide me one limit or barrier that they face which stops them from doing this.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:28 | 4361040 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Speculation: what if HFT bots read only The Onion, and are simply on a one-million-second time delay?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:34 | 4361054 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Breaking News: Justin Bieber Deported Back To Canada!

This is surely the apocalypse.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:54 | 4361119 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

If you like Bieber, you can keep him.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:04 | 4361151 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I have no idea who would down vote that...lol...maybe a Canadian ;-)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:24 | 4361214 unrulian
unrulian's picture

guilty as charged

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:50 | 4361328 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...well, the apocalypse has to start somewhere.

Better there than here ;-)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:07 | 4361399 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

I was SOOOO hoping his bold text was a link to the story.

But at least you aren't France, which is nice.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 07:57 | 4362040 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Maybe we can get together and send him to France where they'll take away 75% of his money just in income tax...Here it's only 65% with federal, provincial and municipal taxes

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:09 | 4361408 seek
seek's picture

Here's how MSNBC handled the Bieber arrest. Classy.

Priorities are crystal clear at MSNBC.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:07 | 4361142 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Or when they understandably confuse The Onion with real news?"

As strange as things are getting today, that might not be so far fetched.

Remember that line from Men In Black where they get the real lowdown from reading the National Enquirer?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:45 | 4361527 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

Yeah, Iam_Silverman, it is quite surreal that about the only time the mass media movies describe the political realities more accurately was after they set up a parenthetical situation where the person telling more that more radical truth has been set up to be apparently crazy, and raving ... wherein that person is briefly allowed to describe the actual social system more accurately.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:28 | 4361817 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

"The Dictator" is a good example of this.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:13 | 4361419 TaperProof
TaperProof's picture

Often times the onion is more real

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:15 | 4361193 The Final Straw
The Final Straw's picture

This was meant to be released tomorrow. Oops.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 01:50 | 4361761 mrmister
mrmister's picture

The story has what is called an EMBARGO. Which means it wasn't suppose to run until February 2nd at 12 noon. So they had to pull it for now. :} It won't be official until Erin Burnett comes on with a Breaking News warning.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 03:16 | 4361861 eurobug
eurobug's picture

This was a warning from the Chinese government, delivered through chinese hackers. "Back off, or this might happen..."

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 04:08 | 4361900 OldPhart
Fri, 01/24/2014 - 05:01 | 4361925 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

Exactly. There was no hack.  This was a prepared article that accidentally got posted early.  They meant to post it right before WWIII breaks out. Stay tuned.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 07:35 | 4362027 eurogold
eurogold's picture

If the story were true, then Gold would be way over $ 2000,- by now

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:23 | 4361002 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:40 | 4361075 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords...

 

I can't argue with that, I'm tired of McCrap fast food.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty....

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:44 | 4361090 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Changing overlords means you still have an overlord.

Besides, as is often the case, the devil you know is better than the one you don't.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:45 | 4361092 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Come on man, have you even seen the sun in those cities there?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:50 | 4361112 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Like all pussy, the moar ya eat, the hungrier ya get! ;-)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:05 | 4361131 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Just make sure you floss between meals.

Nobody wants to see you walk around with a pussy eating grin all over your face.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:35 | 4361253 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

NMEWN: "Once you get passed the smell, you've got it half-licked!" (Hoser)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:54 | 4361347 nmewn
nmewn's picture

A nice hot bubble bath works too, ehhh? ;-)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:39 | 4361517 ImReady
ImReady's picture

Just think of the carry out options...moar crab rangooon!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:24 | 4361003 ManWithaPlan
ManWithaPlan's picture

Got me all HOT & EXCITED thare for a sec!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:24 | 4361004 palmdetroit
palmdetroit's picture

good thing no one watches cnn for news

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:27 | 4361027 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

What do people watch it for again?  To see if Anderson's scar ever moves?  I dunno. 

Nothing blows up behind Blitzer=white noise=zzzzz

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:39 | 4361276 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

I turn the sound off and undress Robin Meade several-times in my head. Each time I go alittle bit farther then alittle bit farther.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:09 | 4361176 mc225
mc225's picture

it seems to me that old people choose fox or cnn, and watch their 'choice' religiously. ymmv

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:24 | 4361006 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Are they picking up Kim and Team for season 9? Fuck CNN.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:24 | 4361007 BudFox2012
BudFox2012's picture

How many of their 12 viewers actually saw this?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:32 | 4361049 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

12? You're a generous man BudFox.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:02 | 4361147 snr-moment
snr-moment's picture

sorry to down arrow you.  I wholeheartedly agree, but I can't help but notice when I go against the grain and up or down arrow someone, only one, and EVER only one, point appears on the opposite side too.  I am testing a hypothesis.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:09 | 4361173 jomama
jomama's picture

pro tip:  you can always change your mind after you selected an up or a down arrow.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:22 | 4361208 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Can not, neither. I gave you a down arrow to see if you were telling the truth, and it wouldn't toggle off.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:24 | 4361211 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Never mind (pronounced like Roseanne Rosannadanna).   I figured it out.  Got it in under 11 minutes, too.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:27 | 4361220 Alethian
Alethian's picture

Well I'll be damned...

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 11:57 | 4362758 STP
STP's picture

This is true, I just tried it out!  Hate it when I fat-thumb the wrong arrow!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 04:05 | 4361898 Pseudonymous
Pseudonymous's picture

One more protip: when you up or down-arrow a post what seems to happen is simply that both the upvote and downvote count for only that post is refreshed. All the other votes that appear actually happened since you loaded the page but before you voted. You can refresh the page and immediately up/down vote a post and chances are only your new vote will be added.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:23 | 4361206 CPL
CPL's picture

Well it was lunch time somewhere at another CNN office.  Might have been 14, maybe even 15.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:07 | 4361792 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

At least their 12 viewers that can access the site at the same time.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:24 | 4361008 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

In other news...China buys all US gold

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:47 | 4361102 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"and delivery fails yet again." Doesn't China have its own news division(s)?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:04 | 4361152 snr-moment
snr-moment's picture

oops two that time

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:08 | 4361166 Captive_Okie
Captive_Okie's picture

What gold?? Fort Knox and the basements under Manhattan are full of IOUs

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 01:49 | 4361767 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

"China buys all US[-held German] gold"

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:00 | 4361960 mt paul
mt paul's picture

with US treasury bonds...

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:26 | 4361815 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

We actually have gold? Err had?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:25 | 4361010 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

LOL schwing-HO, bitchez!

 

That'll be the day.

 

PS why does everyone forget Taiwan?  That's what they'll take when they get frisky enough.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:42 | 4361084 samsara
samsara's picture

I agree fully. The South China Sea though important, but kinda like a fake to take taiwan. They Want that Back. Got Hong Kong, the last prize is Taiwan.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:45 | 4361241 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Ma, in Taiwan, is a China stooge (coached, er, educated at NYU, for those who know what I mean). The puppetmaster will play that piece when he is ready.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 01:52 | 4361773 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Ma is a China stooge.  I wonder who is the KMT or CCP fuckface that downvoted your comment.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:25 | 4361011 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Drop that one at 3:30pm on a random Friday and watch the fireworks.  Nobody outside the US pays any attention to CNN.  Scratch that.  Nobody pays any attention to CNN, period.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:25 | 4361015 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Better do it now while there is still Gold to be bought! AAA rated, its totally laughable!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:25 | 4361019 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Anderson Cooper saw this, sold all of his equities, and started stacking hair gel for the coming meltdown.   Gel, BITCHEZ.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:27 | 4361034 RiverDrifter
RiverDrifter's picture

Anderson Vanderbilt is long on personal care?  Who'da thunk it...?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:43 | 4361295 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

During college, Anderson spent two years as an intern at the CIA.  Huh?  Who'd have thunk?

But the CIA's not like the mob, or anything, right?  Its not like, once you're in, you're in for life, right?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:39 | 4361076 matinee55
matinee55's picture

& but butter

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:06 | 4361164 snr-moment
snr-moment's picture

OK, 2 seems to be the max counter movement.   Sometime 0, Sometimes 1.  Never an agreement though.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:09 | 4361169 snr-moment
snr-moment's picture

crappy algorithm if you asked me.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:49 | 4361330 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

If others have voted since the page loaded then it will update with their votes also.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 01:56 | 4361781 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

And because you're clueless, we don't ask you.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:26 | 4361021 Oxbo Rene
Oxbo Rene's picture

MY GOD ! ! ! ! ! !
What should I do ??????
What should I do ???????????

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:25 | 4361023 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

Bond market never flinched.

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:26 | 4361026 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Ho Li Fuk

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:44 | 4361298 RickyJabbour
RickyJabbour's picture

Sum Ting Wong

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 04:55 | 4361920 MunX
MunX's picture

Wi Tu Loa

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:28 | 4361035 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Now this would be funny if the robots got hold of that headline during trading hours.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:28 | 4361037 jpc578
jpc578's picture

Could you imagaine if this happened when the markets were open? All hell would break lose.

Maybe someone could hack into the CNBC website during market hours with the report: "Yellen: Fed to end QE; Cut size of balance sheet in half by end of year".

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:30 | 4361042 tawse57
tawse57's picture

The question is who did the hack and why that headline and why now?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:34 | 4361056 jpc578
jpc578's picture

That is an interesting question. If China wants to cause some trouble they could have done this as a kind of trial baloon to test initial responses.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:48 | 4361108 tawse57
tawse57's picture

We've had some interesting rumours in the last few weeks.

1. Allied Nevada mining to be bought by Chinese firm. Turned out to be fake.

2. India to lift ban on gold imports. Turned out to be fake.

Someone is having fun or someone is testing reactions.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:43 | 4361297 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Shock testing, for their computer models, IMO.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:15 | 4361184 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"The question is who did the hack and why that headline and why now?"

 

Who is Guccifer, and for revenge?

I'll take "Speculation and Conspiracy Theories" for $500 Alex.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:37 | 4361044 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

YOUR SPERM, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:55 | 4361351 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

You know damn well that the guy just wanted to witness firsthand a little rug munching threesome. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:34 | 4361050 chump666
chump666's picture

Wow, a warning shot from China.

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:17 | 4361197 knicks3005
knicks3005's picture

What if it is a real warning shot??

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:37 | 4361267 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Don't worry. Obozo will pass a law making it illegal to dump US bonds.

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:35 | 4361059 greatbeard
greatbeard's picture

Ticks don't voluntarily stop sucking a dog's blood.  China won't just suddenly stop sucking the US dry.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:20 | 4361217 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Mutually parasitic relationship, like Congress and the FED

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:36 | 4361060 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

A CNN [Communist News Network] newly unemployed disgruntle employee hit the enter key. Just my guess.

/LOL

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:37 | 4361068 chump666
chump666's picture

Bond markets may not have moved on the bogus headline, but repatriation (Asia) trade is in full swing:

0128 GMT [Dow Jones] Investors took cash from emerging-Asia stock and bond funds for the eighth straight week as of Jan. 22, according to EPFR data. A total of US$1.4 billion left such funds--more than twice the US$671 million of the previous week. A worsening political situation in Thailand "no doubt" contributed to the increased outflows, ANZ says. "With sentiment towards emerging market assets still poor we can expect further outflows to come," ANZ adds.

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:49 | 4361107 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

How do i raise capital by selling it? (see comment below.)

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:39 | 4361073 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

Even if China did put all Tbonds for sale, the Fed could just buy them. No big deal.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:02 | 4361122 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's not that way in a dump. When you have a dump, especially of this magnitude all bids dry up. Panic selling would ensue, and overwhelm the fed. If the fed where to try and buy it all up you're talking about an instant currency devaluation.

Believe me, if this were to actually happen it would be bad and tantamount to declaring war.

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