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Hacked CNN Reports "China Dumps All US Bonds"

Tyler Durden's picture


It's one thing for the Comedy News Network formerly known as CNN to announce the opposite verdict on Obamacare as breaking news or that the TV studio formerly known as the NYSE is under 3 feet of water (based on what it saw on Twitter). It's something else entirely for it to report that China has declared semi-hot war on the US (unless of course CNN is merely reporting tomorrow's news today).

This is a cached version of a CNN website that appeared one short hour ago.

Luckily this time it was merely a a hack, as can be seen by the "article's" subsequent deletion from the live page and CNN's mea culpa:


But perhaps more telling is the complete lack of market response to even the hacked article, so different to the AP hack from last summer when the market plunged if only briefly following a hacked AP tweet. Just goes to show how irrelvant the once upon a time only news network has become.

h/t @rosswernej

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Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:22 | 4361000 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

< Hack?

< Time shifted warning from future me.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:25 | 4361016 outofideas
outofideas's picture

Anyone else terrified of the day when HFT's can't figure out it was a hack? Or when they understandably confuse The Onion with real news?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:26 | 4361025 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

HFT bots know everything that is on CNN is faked.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:29 | 4361041 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Puss Morgan just started crying "mommy" on air..........and asking for his guns back

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:37 | 4361062 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

CNN has a website?  Huh.  Who knew?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:53 | 4361118 Rick Blaine
Rick Blaine's picture


The first time I read the headline, I missed the word "hacked."

I'm still cleaning the beer off my screen...which I violently spit out in shock.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:54 | 4361123 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Did anyone see contrails off the west coast rising up from the sea? No? Phew!!!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:01 | 4361141 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

Must have been fonestar.....sucking balls.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:25 | 4361215 synergize
synergize's picture

So would this mean the Dow rises 200 or 300 points?  BTFD or BTFATH?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:41 | 4361285 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Must use the same security company as Obamacare and Target.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:51 | 4361329 Manthong
Manthong's picture

hmm.. I seem to recall a plume rising up from the water on the west coast off of L.A, that was explained away as a contraii...

I don't F'n'think so.



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:06 | 4361396 seek
seek's picture

Neither did a former deputy secretary of defense:

"KFMB, a local CBS station, took the video to former U.S. Ambassador to NATO and former U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense Robert Ellsworth, who called the launch "spectacular" and confirmed that indeed it was quite a large rocket. He also said it didn't appear to him to be a Tomahawk missile. He did speculate that with President Obama touring Asia at the moment the launch could have been a demonstration of an ICBM to show military might."

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:24 | 4361432 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

SLBMs, Snowden (surfaced first in Hong Kong, then successfully departed for Russia), Senkaku Islands.

Mark Faber said the next war will have already begun years before the average person knows it.

Didn't the SLBM launch occur when Obama was in Asia, just days after QE2 was announced?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:36 | 4361507 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Who the fuck is CNN?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:53 | 4361552 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

I knew it was a hack, CNN would never speak the truth, especially a scoop on that truth.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:07 | 4361583 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Yellen's balance sheet would be swellin.  Just keep printing moar!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:37 | 4361655 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

You didn't hack that !

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:48 | 4361678 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

China dumps all U.S. bonds.

U.S. dumps many bombs.

Paul "When Mars Attacks" Krugman enthusiastically cheers global, window breaking war on!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:11 | 4361795 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

You can tell it was a hack because no one paid to have the story placed there.


Fri, 01/24/2014 - 04:42 | 4361916 saveandsound
saveandsound's picture

China dumps bonds - Yellen buys them all!

100% confident.

However, things might start moving at that point. Ha, at least you can rely on your vasalls, uhm, allies!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:13 | 4361968 old naughty
old naughty's picture

CNN sets standard for forward guidance...ha!

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:59 | 4362001 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture





How did that report come out? I thought CNN just layed off everyone.


We're moving FORWARD.....here's your pink slip.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 08:56 | 4362174 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

I instantly Alt-tabbed to check the gold price. Nadda.

Only than did I notice the word "hacked"

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 10:41 | 4362493 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Nice thing about official numbers is they are whatever officials say they are.  How do we know this is not already underway?

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:19 | 4361972 J J Pettigrew
J J Pettigrew's picture

It was november 30th a couple of years ago...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:17 | 4361436 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Wish this were all true and maybe will happen in the future.

Anyhow, the fact that we cant rely on anything we see on the internet anymore means that one day we will just treat any event with a grain of salt because we assume its just a hack. Well one day it will really be the TRUTH and we, the sheeple, will be just be so unprepared for it.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:45 | 4361672 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

China would never try to get out from under the US Debt in such an overt way.  Unless they were just bluffing and stood to gain billions from taking the otherside of the trade for a quickie. 

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 06:18 | 4361971 old naughty
old naughty's picture

or, someone is trying to tell/show them what to do...

 "once upon a time only"  jockey B bitched to Jockey A: "Whythefuck you whip my horse for?"

Jockey A:"Sht man, it's time to move pass them fuckers before the stretch..."


Once upon a time only (?)



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:09 | 4361411 ShakaZulu
ShakaZulu's picture

This is how they will return our bonds.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:52 | 4361335 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



"Tragedy today as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves."

"He was delicious..."



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:06 | 4361392 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Did i read right? - 'China takes a dump in the south sea?'



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:09 | 4361405 philipat
philipat's picture

It's fortunate that the entire combined audience of CNN, MSNBC and CNBC only reaches double digits.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 01:39 | 4361755 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

CNN has its lowest ratings in 30 years. They don't even crack 99,000 viewers in PRIME TIME!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:25 | 4361440 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Aw geez, what kind of BS is this?

Next thing you know some clown will be claiming Obama’S SSN is NOT from Chicago or Hawaii or that he  was a foreign student at Harvard to get free education or that he came into Columbia University as an Indonesian or some other idiocy like that.

F’n crazy talk.

Crap.. like he would claim to seek out Marxists, or smoke choom, or snort coke, or claim his Muslim religion or embrace a crazy Liberation Theology idealoguge preacher and have his Amazons babtized by him or something stupid like that.

Get real.   

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:36 | 4361501 Manthong
Manthong's picture


at least he will have +200 rounds of golf by the time he retires to the luxurious property adjacent to Oprah on his adopted homeland.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:39 | 4361512 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

Hah! Manthong, good summary of why it has become so difficult to "get real" in a world so totally dominated by runaway lies that there is very little which remains which is not lies, and satires seem more accurate than the mass media.

When I first glanced at this article, my understanding of "hacked" was that CNN had a story which they were suppressing, but then hackers had been able to access it, in order to reveal that story. ... (I suppose that suggests something about myself, but I do not know what.) However, fortunately, the Chinese do not seem, as yet, to be rushing to commit suicide, although they appear to enjoy dancing along the precipice more and more, like Russia and the USA have been doing for decades.

Meanwhile, I have a hard time imagining how the Chinese expect to gradually finesse dumping depreciating American Treasury assets, without triggering some runaway social insanities on a global scale. It is quite the tightrope walk to try to not fall off on either side! Therefore, I would not be too surprised to learn that they had slipped off, in one way or another, within the foreseeable future.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 23:46 | 4361528 Manthong
Manthong's picture


They do not care about about their dollar reserves anymoar....

they have about all the "precious' that has been spooled into the market by the fools at the Fed and their cronies. 

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 07:20 | 4362019 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

When I first glanced at this article, my understanding of "hacked" was that CNN had a story which they were suppressing, but then hackers had been able to access it, in order to reveal that story...


Yeah I understand.


Perhaps you remember the report of the collapse of World Trade Bldg #7...30 MINUTES BEFORE IT HAPPENED. Amazing that they knew the result. They must have some clairvoyants working for them, right?

Perhaps you remember the lengthy in depth stories published mere minutes after an FOMC Statement..


Yes I do understand.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 08:43 | 4362139 Ganja Jane
Ganja Jane's picture

I know someone who is a sound engineer and works for ABC and the UN. The news agencies actually do this. No joke.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:01 | 4361143 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Isnt this the new Jack Ryan movie?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:39 | 4361202 Manthong
Manthong's picture

..at least an onion in the bush is worth two wishes in the twat.

WTF..  somebody out there with the negative wavelenghts?

eat it..  :-)

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:19 | 4361802 fedupwhiteguy
fedupwhiteguy's picture

moriarty at it again!!



Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:39 | 4361284 max2205
max2205's picture

Damn my time machine broke...

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:08 | 4361584 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

Thats some funny shit right there, I don't care what anyone says.

The Carnival Splendor lost all electrical power that same day (Nov.  8th) was to be towed to Mexico (closest port) but then the Navy had it towed to San Diego.


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:29 | 4361224 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture



"The first time I read the headline, I missed the word "hacked."

Same here but this headline is real...


China bank chief shuts door on burned investors



Fri, 01/24/2014 - 00:06 | 4361575 Manthong
Manthong's picture

..coming to an unsecured ZIRP loan (AKA : DEPOSIT account) near you soon.

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 02:23 | 4361809 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Oh Lord, if only it were true....if only it were true!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:03 | 4361145 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

The article was actually placed there by the CNN News editor.  Afterwords he told one of his investors: "See.  I told you no-one reads anything we print anymore."


Thu, 01/23/2014 - 22:37 | 4361263 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Yep, this is no different than all the whoppers they tell every day!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 21:40 | 4361074 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Chinese hackers?

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