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Herbalife Plunges After Massachusetts Senator Calls For Investigation

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Wondering why Herbalife is down over 12% in the past few minutes? Wonder no more: moments ago Massachusetts Senator Edward Markey, who apparently has a morbid interest in protein shakes - more so than the FTC - asked for more information about the business practices of nutrition company Herbalife. Markey sent letters to the Securities and Exchange Commission, the Federal Trade Commission and to Herbalife itself to try an obtain more information, his office said in a news release on Thursday.

The take home from all of this?  Senator Edward Markey has an advance invite to the Pershing Square holiday ball.

 

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Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:14 | 4358793 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Carl??

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:17 | 4358803 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

No, but I would gladly pay a crack whore to give Ed Markey a "Hot Carl"

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:23 | 4358835 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

It's a Herba-opera brought to you by our corporate overlords.

Make sure to tune in same time next week to follow along!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:27 | 4358844 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

And exactly how large of a short position does the Senator, his family or friends have?

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:48 | 4358948 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Whenever this guy speaks, I get the heeby-geeby, creepy crawlies, all over.  I can just feel that he is reaching into my wallet no matter the subject.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:18 | 4359067 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Bill Ackman just got a raging semi.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 14:35 | 4359661 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

But...but...but she told me the herbal ointment would cure my bunions, obesity, arthritis, and low IQ ...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:59 | 4358993 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

A legal short position, too, if I understand correctly.

What a gig.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:29 | 4359113 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

And... it's all legal.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:35 | 4359142 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Quick! Carlman to the Tweetermobile...Stat!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:14 | 4358794 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Isn't it totally legal for a Senator to gamble on whatever stocks he or she wishes? You know, despite insider knowledge or any other traditionally illegal circumstances?

Maybe he just put on a big short, wrote a letter, and is kicking back waiting for his check.

Move over eTrade baby, you got bumped out by the eTrade Senator!

Regards,

Cooter

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:36 | 4358881 XitSam
XitSam's picture

How else are senators supposed to get rich, if not for the legal, but immoral corruption?

PS. They make the rules that make it legal.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:05 | 4359020 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Those poor guys and gals only make $174,000 a year, how they wind up millionaires in 6 years is beyond my knowledge...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:53 | 4358967 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Maybe Icahn will double down.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:14 | 4358795 Dan The Man
Dan The Man's picture

Buy!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 13:05 | 4359256 Eurodollar
Eurodollar's picture

This company sells low quality products at premium prices through very aggressive MLM tactics. You can get top drawer quality at the same prices you can get Herballife junk. It doesn't require much insight to verify my statement either. "sigh"...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:15 | 4358798 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Cat fight!

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:31 | 4358799 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD2kWCfTcaU&feature=player_detailpage

Covered wagon medicine show
Take you to the place where the healing flows
Weak in spirit, we got the juice
Won't save your soul, it'll shine your shoes

Treated king to kangaroo
Santa Fe to Timbuktu
Don't be fooled by imitation
This is the stuff that cured a nation

We took the tube and the high plains too
Never stopped long, just passing through
A drop of the laughter of the maids of France
Makes a hopeless cripple dance

It was really vile weather
When we got to tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

In India we're all the rave
Discovered that it's great as aftershave
Dropped in the sea, just off Japan
Swapped 20 bottles for an aqua-walkman

Immunity from ridicule
Improves your brains if you're a fool
And I read in the Middle East,
They traded some for a hostage release

Now if you're bald it'll give you hair
If you got straight trousers it'll give you flares
Feeling up, you'll get depressed
Out of style, here's a brand new dress

It was really vile weather
When we got to tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

Who the hell is that?
One bastard goes in, another comes out
Cut it out (Come over here)
Cut it out
Cut it out (Come over here)
Cut it out

I'm innocent of anything!
Are you making some kind of joke?
Ooh no!
I don't think it's nice, you laughing

The stuff we sell is just the best
Passing all consumer test
Days of heaven, nights of sin
Voodoo stick and sharks fin

When all around you seems like hell,
Just one sip will make you well
Multipurpose in a jar
If you ain't I'll it'll fix your car

In days of yore for all bad feelings
Washing socks and stripping ceilings
Nowadays it's used medicinally
For all known human malady

It was really vile weather
When we got to tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

Wanted in 14 counties of this state
The condemned are found guilty for the crimes of murder
Armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices
The theft of sacred objects
Arson in state prison
Perjury
Bigamy
Deserting his wife and children
Incitting prostitution
Kidnapping
Extortion
Receiving stolen goods
Selling stolen goods
Passing counterfeit money
And contrary to the laws of this state,
The condemned is found guilty of using marked cards
And therefore, according with powers invested in us
We sentence the accused here before us
Tuco Benidicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez
(Known as "The Rat")
And any other aliases he may have
To hang by the neck until dead
May god have mercy on your soul
Proceed!

Duck you suckers!

I don't have to show you any stinking badges

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:17 | 4359065 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"London calling, to the zombies of death..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vHvzybkqfo

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 14:45 | 4359690 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

HH, it just takes a Leap of Faith [with Steve Martin] and you'll be cured:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgEOTc2qgVg

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:22 | 4358801 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Cue tweets from Icahn.  Surprising that he did not have Markey on his payroll. 

Senator Markey does have a decent reputation for incorruptibility though.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:18 | 4358809 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Looks  like Ackman decided to spread some wealth around.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:19 | 4358813 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Somebody better check Markey's shorts...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:23 | 4358831 The Merovingian
The Merovingian's picture

+100 ... exactly what I was thinking too.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:32 | 4358858 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I think I'll leave that disgusting duty to Obama, or at the very least Frau Yellen.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:39 | 4358892 Hulk
Hulk's picture

I doubt that Frau Yellin will go stinky finger on us...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:47 | 4358939 The Merovingian
The Merovingian's picture

No, she's a closet fister.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:20 | 4358818 Overleveraged_a...
Overleveraged_and_Impatient's picture

Isn't this what Ackman said would start to happen? Authorities would start cracking down on HLF seeing as it really is just a big multi-level-marketing scheme?

 

I'm on the sidelines for this one.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:54 | 4358977 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

I'm on the sidelines for anything Icahn is in.  It never ends well for others.  

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 15:21 | 4359841 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Such a huge drop because a politician has written a letter and made that public?

It seems the market is already very nervous about the business model of this "great" company with only very average products hugely overpriced.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:22 | 4358824 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

.........''asked for more information about the business practices of nutrition company Herbalife''

how bout asking for more info about the ''money changers'' (bankers) business practices.......????

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:03 | 4359018 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

+1

The bankers pay good money for .gov to look the other way.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:30 | 4358853 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  Cue Icon in 3...2...1...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:31 | 4358857 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Icon is a criminal and Ackman was right.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:33 | 4358868 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

That's sorta like the Black Panthers calling the Klu Klux Klan racists.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:56 | 4358981 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

It doesn't matter who is right, it matters who wins.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:33 | 4358866 Calculus99
Calculus99's picture

Markey's going to have a pretty good retirement, money won't be an issue...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:37 | 4358893 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

In other news:  Ed Markey's investments went up +/- 12% in the past few minutes

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:41 | 4358906 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

I have no dog in this fight.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:47 | 4358928 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

buy the fucking protein dip. btfpd.

 

ed markey is a fucking democrat. you think this is pershing square?

 

hey motherfuckers, it's a 50/50 shot this whole charade is just nonsense to pull shorts into the stock for another lemon squeezer. 

 

i'm not long or short hlf and never have i eaten their garbage, but let's be honest. what the fuck does tyler know about ed markey? he's a godamn democrat after all. he could be on icahn AND ackman's payroll at the same time. perhaps this is liek the WWF and the whole bear/bull play being put on is just a sideshow to volatility management by both sides profitting handsomely in some far larger fund .......

 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 11:51 | 4358963 bobthecat
bobthecat's picture

Has anyone looked for some kind of connection between Markey and Ackman/Pershing Square???  

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:01 | 4359010 adr
adr's picture

Looks like the rabid algos have taken over after the big dip and are 45 degree angling it back to previous highs.

You can't sell momo stocks. The invisible hand just sees it as an opportunity. If a HFT bot is programmed to push the stock to $85 it will figure out a way. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:00 | 4359012 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Ackman Tweet in 3...2...1...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:02 | 4359015 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

I don't think much of HLF, but they are positively a glowing specimen of honesty compared to Markey. Fucking asshole has trouble finding MA when he returns to run for re-election. He has a house in Chevy Chase, Md. His MA residence is just a symbolic garage.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:10 | 4359048 stiler
stiler's picture

Marx[key] has to make sure hes in the 1%club.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 12:26 | 4359102 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

Buying the right put options right before making the public announcement would result in huge returns. Must be nice to be king.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 13:17 | 4359310 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Looks like Herbafuck investors have no faith in the company to weather such an investigation... *snerk*

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 13:26 | 4359357 TheABaum
TheABaum's picture

The real question is- how short was Markey before issuing this statement?

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 10:03 | 4359387 Froman
Froman's picture

Markey - Another douchebag lawyer who has never in his life had to hold a real job but has become a millionaire through graft and fleecing constituents after spending 30+ years in Congress.  It is f**kers like this scum that need to be held accountable for their actions. 

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 14:14 | 4359576 esum
esum's picture

draft evading (he says he didnt) useless cocksucker lving off the public taxpayer trough...

guess they forgot to contribute to his campaign... too bad

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 14:58 | 4359749 Spungo
Spungo's picture

What's with all the hate on companies that sell protein shakes? I'm eating a protein bar right now. It tastes kinda cummy but it's a good meal replacement.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 18:31 | 4360126 verbot
verbot's picture

Verbot.exe..load collusion 101.dll

Akerman talked one way Ican the opposite. The moment they played out the little cnbc drama club I knew it was a fix by both. Ya I will engage in open dialog about my positions and facts. ..yada effin yada. fucktard ghoulies...again Ichan bet you cant do you own taxes so who lets you be rich??? 

End of line...

 

Mark Haines actually may have been an obstacle to some of the current players goals as they are being played out and maybe he didnt die of "cheetos and ketsup" after all...

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 18:43 | 4360521 GFORCE
GFORCE's picture

Holiday ball invite LOL.

Icahn is not the only one with connections. Grab the popcorn.

Thu, 01/23/2014 - 20:29 | 4360834 Constitutional ...
Constitutional Republic's picture

I don't care about Herbalife commercially, but they have good reason to get medieval re: Markey, the career politician who does nothing without personal gain. 

Calling the corporate lawyer: slam him, hard.

Markey oversaw such gems of misgovernance as the failed healthcare write up, previously inaugurated in MA, and flawed for all to see, yet he went along with it. 

Markey absented himself from the vote on Syria; a convenient coward when it suits him. But now he gets all uppity over a company, Herbalife.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Shoot him...figuratively speaking, legally, of course :-D

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