Thursday Humor? The Real Reason Venezuela Matters

Tyler Durden's picture

With toilet paper shortages, record high stock prices, a lack of staple food supply, and a black market currency hyperinflating its way into solving the toilet paper shortage; many continue to wonder why they should care about a Latin American country's collapse into socialist revolution. The answer, simply put, lies in the following map...

Countries shaded by number of Miss World winners...

(h/t @Amazing_Maps )


A Venezuelan has been the winner of Miss World more times that any other nation... do you really want that to go away?



The Miss Venezuela contestants show that even with no toilet paper, one can still clean up nicely...

Now be a patriot and start buying Bolivars at the government rates...

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dow jones 20000's picture

now there's an export you can build an economy around.

ZerOhead's picture

The one percenters don't require toilet paper for rectal clean-up anyway... they just call over their congressmen and senators...

kaiserhoff's picture

I'll second the Tylers on this one.

The Venezuelan girls I've met in the Caribbean are usually gorgeous and muy amable.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I confirm many sightings of beautiful women in Venezuela.  And they take that stuff very seriously down there (like Mississippi does re Miss America) re Miss World.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Socialism is create very beautiful girl by limit of caloric intake.

economics9698's picture

Just grab that ass and they are ready to go.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

I wanna fry my maduro in your hot oil, amorcita.  And, yes I would like the blinds dusted when you finish the windows.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

I see Canada got the same number of winners as Antarctica.  I guess that proves Canada isn't even a real country.

Rock On Roger's picture

Canada is the hyphen in Anglo-American.


Stack On

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

You have not been twerked until a Latina fries your frijoles. These gringas are amateurs.

PhilB's picture

Capitalism is to create obesse women by tricking them into consuming excess calories

boogerbently's picture


Everyone needs a fat girl.

Heat in the winter,

Shade in the summer.

PhilB's picture

The Great Socialist Republic of Hollywood ;)

RECISION's picture


Russia has the same thing going on too...

Very beautiful.

(until they open their mouths and talk...)

economics9698's picture

Yep that 93 IQ thing gets boring after a few rounds.

dark pools of soros's picture

that can be beaten out of them

Son of Loki's picture

That's an economy you can get your teeth into.

Dixie Rect's picture

Socialism provide nice Brazilian wax under swimsuit.

Stuck on Zero's picture

Any chance the failure of Venezuela could send a few million of those beautiful gals slipping under the border fence? 


DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Of course a bare handful of people might be interested in more mundane things like bearings sales in Peru.  Probably not many, but some...  

"2013 Ameru Results"

mick_richfield's picture

It takes a lot of balls to publish a number like that.

HedgeYourself's picture

Agreed. There are many balls in each bearing, so dcrb is in excellent position to share - thank you !

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Boris is confuse by photograph of female scholarship applicant and current condition of absence of toilet paper in Venezuela... Is applicant not use toilet paper for configuration of sparse bathing attire? But why is toilet paper black and how is to swim in water soluble garment...?

Stoploss's picture

I'll go ahead and take one for the team...

I will volunteer to clean the shit off those girls in the photo should it be needed.

Hey, sometimes you gotta get dirteeee.......

TheGardener's picture

Astonishing exotic beauties might arise of this mixed people
if they are very young. In neighboring Columbia Nicolas Gomez Davila stated while having the miscreants of this his continent and new world in mind : "God made the white and the black people. Not the mixed ones." Call me racist and have me banned, but if anything bans Latin America from ever catching up it will be Catholic belief systems in an eternal loser state of mind and screwed up genes as in mixed races.

Terminus C's picture

I don't think you are a racist, but I do think your comment was one of the least intelligent things I have read in quite some time.

unrulian's picture

you're very forgiving...i'd be more inclined to call him an asshat

Wait What's picture

there's a school of thought in LatAm that supports part of the asshat's argument. basically there's caste system in LatAm that inculcates the inferiority of mixed race and dark people in their minds. it gets spread through the media, religious, and education system, filling their little heads with drivel about what is and should be. it's one of the reasons interbreeding (most commonly european blooded male-indigineous female) has been frowned upon for centuries. but stopping guys from having sex with pretty girls of any race is like stopping a tsunami, not gonna happen.

the part that makes no sense is his genetics argument. selectivity in genetic traits is one of the hot reasearch topics in biotech. if you can mix the better traits of separate races, net of anomalys/mutations, you can create some amazing creatures... like those venezuelans beauties.

most confusing about his argument is this: who is the wealthiest (reported) human on earth? last i checked it was Mr. Slim, from Latin America.

Wait What's picture

you seem to be confusing genetics with culture(statehood?). being of lebanese descent doesn't negate the 100+ years his family spent in LatAm. by that logic, the only real 'americans' or 'brazilians' or 'canadians' are natives, not those german/english/portuguese/african bastards running around the americas today. note that there isn't one american (latin or otherwise) of prominence who didn't have a father/grandfather/great-grandfather from the old world.

MrButtoMcFarty's picture

Why ban the idiots.....they are fun to watch....

TheReplacement's picture

Do you confuse catholic with marxist?

1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

I do love that brown beaver....


Dane Bramage's picture

"Get in there and get the blood diamond!  Where amnesty intl now?!"

f16hoser's picture

ZeroHead; YOU HIT ONE OUT OF THE PARK with that statement! I salute you!

ZerOhead's picture

Ben and Janet insist the solution to Venezuela's woes are to print a lot more money very quickly and give it to the wealthy...

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Now what do you suppose Van Morrison meant when he sang about his "Brown-Eyed Girl".  Venezuelan?

Buck Johnson's picture

Heck ya, I'll sponsor a few to live in my house.

Ulterior's picture

anybody understood what that map is about? I have 2 university degrees and I didnt

dow jones 20000's picture

number of times someone from a particular country has won Miss World.

I was puzzled for a second as well. 

Ulterior's picture

oh... I thought its the thickness of toilet paper leaves used

jimmytorpedo's picture

India won five times.

That was back when hairy beavers were all the rage.

ebworthen's picture

I love me some 70's porn bush.

WTFMOFO's picture

Been awhile since I seen a Sascrotch!

maskone909's picture

and to think Niger hasnt one err won once....

BlackHorsewithScales's picture

...just biased judges, or perhaps hotness inequality; another job for big gummint....