Buffett On Jamie "I Am Richer Than You" Dimon: "He Deserves To Be Paid Even More"

Tyler Durden's picture

Just because it wasn't enough of a vote of confidence in Jamie "Dear Congress: oath I vouch under oath that it was nothing but a tempest in a teapot" Dimon that his pay rose 74% to $20 million in 2013 despite JPM's Net Income crashing as the bank had to provision for tens of billions in legal expenses (conveniently excluded from Non-GAAP earnings) - but that's ok because the Fed's pumping of $1 trillion in fake buying power meant the stock soared - here comes folksy Crony Capitalist #1, aka cuddly Uncle Warren seemingly desperate for close encounters of the rectal kind with the JPM CEO, telling the world just how underappreciated poor, poor (we use the term loosely) Jamie is and said that if he owned J.P. Morgan, "he would keep Chief Executive James Dimon at the helm and would pay him even more than he’s making now."

From the WSJ:

In an interview Friday, Mr. Buffett called Mr. Dimon “a bargain.”


“If I owned J.P. Morgan Chase, he would be running it and he would be making more money than the directors are paying him,” said Mr. Buffett, who has publicly defended the bank executive before and owns J.P. Morgan shares.


He added J.P. Morgan was a “huge plus to the American financial system” during the financial crisis and did much better than other big banks through that period.


“If Jamie decides he wants to make more money, all he has to do is call me and I’d hire him at Berkshire,” the billionaire investor added.

Warren had no comment how much he would pay Barack Obama if the president worked for him more than he already does, i.e., making sure that the Keystone Pipeline is mothballed indefinitely while Buffett's various railroad interests become the New Normal trans-US pipelines.

And Buffett certainly had no comment what his compensation to Bernanke, Paulson or Congress would be for injecting a few hundred billion in the same financial companies that Berkshire had some $26 billion invested in, and would have all gone bankrupt, unless the US taxpayer had boldly, if involuntarily, stood up to defend the equity value of crony capitalist #1.

As Reuters reported at the time: "A good chunk of his fortune is dependent on taxpayer largess. Were it not for government bailouts, for which Buffett lobbied hard, many of his company’s stock holdings would have been wiped out. Berkshire Hathaway, in which Buffett owns 27 percent, according to a recent proxy filing, has more than $26 billion invested in eight financial companies that have received bailout money.  The TARP at one point had nearly $100 billion invested in these companies and, according to new data released by Thomson Reuters, FDIC backs more than $130 billion of their debt."


Surely by the time the US finds Berkshire Hathaway to be a "systemically important" entity, any time Dairy Queen misses earnings or NetJets sells one less plane in the quarter than budgeted, the US will rush to bail it out.

As for "poor" Jamie, who obviously deserves much more than just that $20 million pittance, don't cry for him.  We are confident soon enough he will take another massive risk with FDIC-insured depositor cash, which will either pay off, or the bank will simply be bailed out once again. Because once you are the king of the TBTF, the only way is up.

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rtalcott's picture

it keeps getting "better"...more absurd...and it will until it breaks.

booboo's picture

That old folksy "Aw shucks" is a sure thing with all the Buffeteers sitting in front of the boob tube waiting for Uncle Warren to dispense a little Warranism while wearing their Buffeteer hats with the money sign sitting atop their green beany. In private hes is a mean lying crooked two faced forked tongued diaper wearing blue pill popping global dick sucking old coot that sold his own country down the tubes for a seat at Beelzebubs table and a first class ticket to hell.

SilverIsKing's picture

Well if I were John Stumpf, I would certainly ask Uncle Warren for a huge raise.

BaBaBouy's picture

I ASK, Is This Guy one Of Those "GREYS" That They Mention
On Coast To Coast All The Time???

BaBaBouy's picture

<=== I LOVE This Smilling Cute And Cuddly Old Man.
<=== I DESPISE Him And Every Fucking Creaky Bone In His Body.

Quick Poll On Warrensky...

synergize's picture

Buffett is a buffoon.  Guy sold his soul to the devil and is pretty much a icon used to encourage the "everyday Joe" that you can get rich too with a bit of hard work and "common-sense".  Nonsense - he's a sellout and touts the system and all the evil it stands for

James_Cole's picture

After Buffett disinherited his granddaughter for daring to appear in a documentary about the 1%, any lingering doubt about him being a giant asshole was cleared away. 



sodbuster's picture

That's why he is known as the Orifice of Omaha.

old naughty's picture

B to J: " help me become Orifice of JPM and I will pay you more..."

benb's picture

This criminal asshole is the epitome of a domestic enemy. The corporate fascist media pushing their perverted public relations enables Buffet to walk around like he’s a sage. (IIRC) Through his holdings, Buffet was the single largest beneficiary of the so-called Bail Out to the tune of close to $500 billion. He is allowed (By the ruling elite) to steal from us so long as much of the ill-gotten wealth can be devoted to eugenics; as in poisoning our food, spiking vaccines with cancer viruses and brain damaging chemicals, etc. in the name of “helping kids.” This monster is partnered in Crimes Against Humanity with the Rockefeller Foundation eugenics front, Bill Gates. What a pair of monsters. If we had a military they would both be arrested along with a lot of other traitors running rampant in and around the U.S. government… but we’re not in Kansas anymore.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Warren Fuckin' Buffett - the smiling, grandfatherly figure who sticks a dagger in the heart of the American Taxpayer while he & his CronyComrade, Charlie "Suck It Up Taxpayers" Munger attach their money funnels/suction hoses to the U.S. Treasury Building & vacuum up every last present and future fiat.

Warren Fuckin' Buffett, the "elder statesmen" of Casino Kapitalism, and literal 'Senator's Son,' who loudly, publicly annointed NoBama as figurehead-in-chief.

Fuck you, Buffett. May you roast eternally after you croak, which shall be soon.

I am more equal than others's picture




Warren Buffoon is a liar, manipulator and democrat.  I believe the three strike rule applies here.  He's out

BaBaBouy's picture

TruthInSunshine POST ...

I Can Only Vote Once, But I'd Vote +100 If I Could...

FinalEvent's picture

I think Warren knows he won't survive the shitstorm anyway (cause he's old) and just plays the game like he always does.
Once SHTF he'll be gone and you won't see him in the news anymore.


satoshi101's picture

Warren is EVIL, no doubt, and to explain why the people here would be bored to death, given up arrows ( green means circle jerk ) its obvious that all know.

Warren made his rich by stripping company's of their assets.

Made money by destroying the insurance industry, and creating the new model "Collect premium, Deny Claim"

Funny that WARREN is portrayed as a gentel old guy, but in reality, he is probably responsible for MORE destruction as an individual than any other asshole in the past 50 years of USA history.

The biggest problem with the USA, is that folks have to spend 1/3 or more on 'insurance', and you can blame Warren for this new model. No where else do people even buy insurance, and the worst of course is that Warren hires more people in the DENIAL department, than he Does in the CLAIMS department.

Everybody in the INSURANCE racket now follows warrens model,

Then of course 60's to present he bought companys on credit (5%) down, stripped their CASH pension funds sold all assets (TREES/OIL), and then used the CASH to pay off the DEBT for buying the company, then resold the company's ... wash&repeat made him the richest man in the world.

BUT world class asshole none the less.

As american as america pie, I mean american NAZISM

A DEMOCRAT,... yep just goes to show you that a DEMOCRAT can be a NAZI too ...


pitz's picture

Yeah Buffet is the grand-daddy of all leverage junkies. 

LMAOLORI's picture


And now they want to add him to the TOO BIG TO FAIL TOO BIG TO JAIL LIST

Dad, Someday Can I Grow Up to Be Too Big to Fail?


Skateboarder's picture

He got away with the "hey, I'm just a nice ol man" meme for a long time. His senility is shedding light on his true self. Scary thing is that a lot of people still think he's a swell guy, etc.

Dr Benway's picture

The scary thing is that a lot of people still think he's a "great investor" and not a cheating crony cartel crook. Even on ZH you'll find occasional articles verbally fellating this piece of shit.

Papasmurf's picture

You have to admit though, he is best at what he does.

old naughty's picture

only if he admits to being best at 'derivative' insurance; those preimum pools spread so thin you need to sweep under obummbercare.

SAT 800's picture

I'm not admitting that until I figure out what the fuck it is that he does do.

BidnessMan's picture

Clark Griswold rant on Frank Shirley Warren Buffet



thunderchief's picture

I hope Jamie and all his rich friends get the biggest bonuses ever...

And very soon after are taken out and put in front of a firing squad.

Looking at the world, I think many have had enough of these fools.

sessinpo's picture

Can we please tar and feather them first before the firing squad? Straight to execution is to easy for them and I am not being sarcastic.

SAT 800's picture

hmm; well, okay. but  just this once.

Atomizer's picture


All tucked in with cookies and milk on my nightstand. Read me the story about how you became the Market Oracle on the influences of a few insiders? Pleeeeeasssseeeee grandpa?

falak pema's picture

gee, white man's burden delivers good  jungle medicine after all. 

Calling Dr Albert Buffet, calling Dr Albert Buffet; alligators looking forward to a nice juicy steak straight from Kansas beef farm.

pupdog1's picture

Buffett is wildly popular, even in Detroit.

Offthebeach's picture

Southeastern Mass.

Today drove by Salvation Army Thrift Store/Family Center.

Every parking lot was filled. I drove around the building. The auxiliary satellite lot across the road was filled. There was even a little 'that's my space ' tension for opening spaces.


pupdog1's picture

It's exactly the same here (upper midwest)...

I rebuild and restore antiques as one of my sick and twisted little hobbies. I used to find fabulous pieces--really iconic best-ever-made stuff--at Goodwill for a few bucks. Several years ago, It was typically just me and maybe one or two other skanks in the joint. Now, you can't even get in the lot. I don't bother any more.

And now there are 15 vacant stores in my local mall--the biggest and fanciest in the state. And not one of them has an [insert cheap Chinese junk clothing store name here] opening soon (!) sign in the papered-over window. Previously, I have never seen more than the inevitable couple of stores changing hands at any given time. A lot of these spaces have been there for a year, and now the are really piling up.

You might not believe a ZH article, but there is a point at which you have to belive your own eyes.

SAT 800's picture

"A bargain" !---Jeez, they should get a room, already.

vmromk's picture

Mr. Buffett, I sure do hope you are still alive when the shit hits the fan.
My dream is to see you and Dimon hanging from the same lampost, you MOTHERFUCKER.

DirkDiggler11's picture

+1 MM vmromk !!!! I share the same dream with Buffett and Dimon acting as human ornaments for the town,

I'm sure that Satan nas two of the hottest hinges of hell reserved for his best subjects, Buffett and Jamie D..

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

You called him a MF, which is just another word for "Dad".  Not so sure he still "does" his kids' mother.

His treasure lies elsewhere, so his heart and head can't be far from that.

bunnyswanson's picture

It's someone who wants to fuck their mother if you want to analyze it.  The fact is there has been a transfer of wealth, and this man, Mr. Buffett is sitting on some of it.  This orchestrated transfer of wealth has left a road ablaze to the piflerers and shysters.  This scam called globalization will kill hundreds of millions of people.  Had they explored another method to reach the top of this ladder dripping in blood and anguish?  If so, I have not heard of it.  This makes them murdering thieves, MoFo.



Ignatius's picture

"Were it not for government bailouts, for which Buffett lobbied hard, many of his company’s stock holdings would have been wiped out."

Any questions?

disabledvet's picture

My understanding was that it was he that was lobbied not the other way around.

Microsoft had a great day yesterday.

bobert's picture

Preferred stock deals Vet.

Him earning 8% and in a secure position in front of other investors.

Blankenstein's picture



"Get down on their knees and thank The Lord that Bernanke was there."  - Buffett




Bernanke in action:


Quinvarius's picture

Last week is really smoking out the cockroaches.

disabledvet's picture

Coming from Warren this truly is a compliment. Having said that Jamie still has a Bank to run.

With still no recovery in sight....sure "he's a bargain." But how about the Bank?

Are they creating capital here? Or still just "betting on recovery" while hedging?

They all pay themselves well...the irony that it was Bill Gross who got "kicked out of the club" however is not lost on me.

All those redemptions...just in time for...

Bearwagon's picture

Wait patiently, people, and the day will come, when someone will stare down his bootleg into ole Dimon's eyes and say: "And that's why I am more alive than you!"

El Vaquero's picture

Choke on a dick, Warren.

NOTW777's picture

what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul

Bearwagon's picture

Such philosophical questions only disturb the regular business ...  ;-)

bobert's picture

Spiritual question Bear.

Bearwagon's picture

My german is much better! ;-)