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Francois Hollande, First Girlfriend Trierweiler Have Splt

Tyler Durden's picture


In keeping up with "breaking" and otherwise engaging news on par with this, to keep the broader population distract from more critical developments, here is the latest installment of what 99% of the French population will be talking about in the next several days and weeks (instead of the nation's impending triple-dip recession).

In other words, just as expected. For the background on this story, read here


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Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:03 | 4366874 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

She found him overly taxing.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:12 | 4366898 remain calm
remain calm's picture

She found out she was not the only one getting screwed.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:30 | 4366935 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Does that mean he'll be throwing away his crash helmet and nose-glasses-mustache set?

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:44 | 4366963 knukles
knukles's picture

No question now the proper names on the White House Invitation:

Francoise Hollande and his right hand

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:11 | 4367110 CPL
CPL's picture

Palm sisters.  Palmela Handerston.  Digit Mcknuckles.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:39 | 4367144 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

Mrs Palm and her 5 daughters!

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 17:32 | 4367257 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

He probably got tired of her not wanting to swallow his load of policies.  Either that or she looked better in women's underwear than he did.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 19:33 | 4367454 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

So sad, I was really rooting for them as a couple.

I wonder what's up with Justin Bieber,...

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 22:56 | 4367723 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Something must have gone awry at Davos.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:42 | 4367147 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Don't forget Handrea.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:43 | 4367153 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

I'd hit that.


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 18:02 | 4367318 CPL
CPL's picture

Would plough like a field.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:48 | 4367154 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

And that.


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 19:35 | 4367456 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

What,..are you like 70?

Near sighted?

Sexually fruatrated?

C'mon man! Go to the Philipines if you're that hard up.


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:49 | 4366969 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

i'd trier awhile...

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:13 | 4367006 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

In Trier?

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:42 | 4367157 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

tri -weekly, then try weakly

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:19 | 4367018 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture


Sun, 01/26/2014 - 06:56 | 4368048 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

She simply lost her competitiveness at this point of time.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:04 | 4366878 Central Wanker
Central Wanker's picture

Mr Hollande did to his country what he should have done to his girlfriend.


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:16 | 4366905 booboo
booboo's picture

No, a mystery dotted line around her neck started to form and she had enough when "cut here" appeared. His current wife has one of those too but she is cool with it as long as she keeps the perks.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 17:52 | 4367303 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

is that a bra hanging to the right of tne lady?

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:04 | 4366880 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:11 | 4366890 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Hollande has a long way to go to catch up with Hugh Hefner and the bunny. 

For the time being he sings : 

Julie in a sky with diamonds...

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:14 | 4366900 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

fp, where is Smearkozy these days? No indictments?

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:38 | 4367139 falak pema
falak pema's picture

he's waiting to be king in 2017 !

With competition like Hollande...

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:44 | 4367159 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

there'll be no economy left by then....

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 17:17 | 4367218 falak pema
falak pema's picture

whaat? Lol, its only PAPer destruction.

Once this shit paper pile disappears the real economy reappears. 

This is JUST SMOKE and mirrors to scare the people into becoming sheeple.

If the Politicians were not cronies, had balls and a conviction of general good, they would nationalise the banks and shit down on the casino. Clean it out.

Then print new money and reinstate the real economy by effacing all debt. 

We all know the debt is a hoax as its ALL private banksta initiated. if they nationalise the banks and only sustain deposits and pensions NOT the private uber wealth we start again from scratch and that "wealth" along with the public debt just gets washed out like rot. 

Simple, provided we have HONEST government and an old population prepared to write off ill gotten gains generated by fiat scams; allowing the young to have a future once again. 

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:10 | 4366891 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

Love her and leave her.....

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:12 | 4366894 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Not sure I understand the French system.....


If Hollande trades up for better pussy is it a taxable event? 

Isn't it llegal to lay off a mistresses in France, anyway?



Sat, 01/25/2014 - 19:47 | 4367471 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yes and yes...but only for the proles.

Much like here, buried in thousand page "laws" and tens of thousands of pages of tax regulation guidance, the governing elite class (that is, the creme de la always exempt themselves from compliance. 

In other words, he could have ordered her shot as a traitor to the state (of his happiness) and had her family pay for the bullet like a good communist...but being a socialist, the French treasury (the proles) will be forced to buy her eternal silence ;-)

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 10:48 | 4368231 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

If Hollande trades up for better pussy is it a taxable event?

It's a tax-free exchange with the additional costs adding to the basis. However, you can't trade more often than 30 days or it's a wash sale.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:12 | 4366899 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Psychologically weak buffoon.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:15 | 4366901 Rukeysers Ghost
Rukeysers Ghost's picture

Looks like Hollande is as good with women as he is running an economy.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:19 | 4367017 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Better with the femmes, for sure...he's had some lookers.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:16 | 4366903 linrom
linrom's picture

Is Beiber still going out with Selma Gomez? Hey, what's Paris doing?

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:27 | 4367037 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

Seriously - WTF? Like there isn't a pile of other things ready to fall apart?

ZH goes Drudge. Must work for the same outfit.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:21 | 4367121 Harry Dong
Harry Dong's picture

Please respect the new owners....

Copyright ©2009-2013 Media, LTD

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 23:17 | 4367751 TruthPolice1984
TruthPolice1984's picture


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:20 | 4366914 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

If only he would resign.  

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:19 | 4366916 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I will file this under "who gives a shit".

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:32 | 4366938 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

ZH tabloid submodule.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 19:09 | 4367410 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

There was a time when such a life would be a disgrace and a shame.

Moral bankruptcy is not limited to just the leaders' relationship to money, but extends in every direction.

They are just treating their women like they do their fiat currency - objects of no real value to be used and discarded on whim.

And, let's not forget the dumped girlfriend. She is just reaping what she sowed.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:14 | 4367005 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Yeah, I mean, who'd want to read about gold manipulation or Goldman Sachs.  Not sure which one is more lurid.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:07 | 4367106 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I want to read about gold manipulation and Goldman Sachs. This is more apropos to HuffPo. What evs...I guess it is geo-politics.

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 07:23 | 4368062 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

As an intermezzo, it's fine. Not great but okay. Again, as some intermezzo!

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:20 | 4366918 tunnelvizn
tunnelvizn's picture

Split or Lickety-split ?  Sometimes things do get lost in translation . 

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:29 | 4366932 Bo Peep
Bo Peep's picture

Maybe he'll get stuck into Angela Merkel.......for king and country and all that shit

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:34 | 4366944 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

what a disgusting prospect......

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:33 | 4366939 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture
Well, I woke up this morning, I got myself a beer 
Well, I woke up this morning, and I got myself a beer 
The future's uncertain, and the end is always near 
Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:38 | 4366951 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Remind me why I should give a shit about a frog and his current girlfriend.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 14:42 | 4366957 freddymercury
freddymercury's picture

Viva La France!

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:04 | 4366982 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

a sad day indeed for viva le france,sudan and mali.

we must now come together as a france nation and forget lovers of the past we must redirect.

redirect away from whores that cannot be trusted we french men must unite.

instead of love of the femine we need redirection to muslim hate.

with the help of are friends in the mossad,cia and mi6 and the technique of pseudo gang developed by tavistock and frank kitson.

we can prevail.

false flags will be are weapon of hate.

we are all french haters now

viva la satan

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:11 | 4367000 imbtween
imbtween's picture

I wonder if she'd date me....


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:12 | 4367001 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Bonne chance, Julie Gayet!  Enjoy it while you can. 

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 17:50 | 4367299 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

it's probably platonic.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:22 | 4367024 adonisdemilo
adonisdemilo's picture

I think Hollande is doing a great job running France ( admittedly into the ground ).

I hope he keeps on with his present policies because he'll make a brilliant job of completely fucking up the Euro dream, er nightmare.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:31 | 4367045 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

The rottweiler had to leave the house

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 15:48 | 4367077 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

The French get to pay for her tantrum also.


A few million Euros in damage.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:14 | 4367115 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

Fresh meat, bitchez!


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:21 | 4367119 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

Hollande fired his girlfried like Gordon Gekko would fire an employee he could suffer no more. 


François you should expect some serious BACKLASH!!! A tell-all book is in order.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:29 | 4367130 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

I hope they levy a Mistress Tax on that piece of shit.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 16:48 | 4367168 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

I think she's hot!!!

P.S. I fucking love Zero Hedge, you guys make me laugh

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 17:42 | 4367277 shutdown
shutdown's picture


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 19:26 | 4367444 Bo Peep
Bo Peep's picture

Hollande's favorite recipe.....for two of course

Coq au vin recipe: cock cooked in red wine, traditionally a cock from Bresse and a wine from Burgundy in France.

Saw this cock in France last week on offer, small bird 60 fucking euros!! Must be the tax.

I bought a pack of snickers instead.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 20:40 | 4367548 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

My eyes are misty. The sugar daddy jig is up. Better shore up your complaint with the UN council on human rights to reach a proper settlement in continuing your exact living life style. Another black widow will end in a unforeseen accident.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 21:04 | 4367576 Constitutional ...
Constitutional Republic's picture

Modern France, a socialist dystopia. Dump it. Same goes for the Quebequois who gifted the UK another GS bankster Mark  Carney - with the BoE grateful. Thieves, one and all of them.

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 21:31 | 4367611 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

Relative to our first Wookie, the former Ms Hollande was table grade 

Sat, 01/25/2014 - 21:49 | 4367640 PennilessPauper
PennilessPauper's picture

And any one except his wife gives a shit, why?  Oh right slow news day.  How about more Ukrainian Molotov cocktails?


Sat, 01/25/2014 - 23:35 | 4367779 Constitutional ...
Constitutional Republic's picture

Why? Because two-faced France dominates the EUSSR, blackmails Germany with war guilt,  and wages endless war within the continent and outside of it. See Africa for the lastest example. 

French foreign policy says that it puts France first, yet games the Internationale.  That is why modern France is a curse upon all foreign relations, everywhere. 

Hollaindaise sauce and the former great French leader in waiting DSK are both untrustworthy sluts, self-evidently. They are known to the gendarme for their sneaky ways. No one should trust them. Only French vanity tolerates them.

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 07:14 | 4368052 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

C'mon ZHers, pls be sensible and do not be overly jealous to Mr. Hollande's current fortune...he's a man of envy for being able to upgrade his mistress to someone younger and much more attractive, a woman of desire of every normal man.

Just imagine... in contrast to what Obozo may feel every night about his Wookie, how happy Mr Hollande will be when the night is coming; the poor Obozo has only his golf course for fun, and perhaps watching some droning adventures. No comparison at all.

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 07:20 | 4368061 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

That's right, stick with the hotties Frankie!

There's a new actress / model born every minute.

Vive la France, eh?

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 17:12 | 4369065 TheABaum
TheABaum's picture

Who cares?

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 17:48 | 4369138 Edelweiss
Edelweiss's picture

 I thought for a minute I had stumbled on to Yahoo by mistake.  How is this considered news on the Hedge?  Breaking Bieber news next?

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