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Stats Of The Union

Tyler Durden's picture


As the nation anxiously awaits President Obama's State of the Union speech tomorrow, we thought a brief reflection on the nation's view of him and his government was worthwhile. A glance at Gallup's front page tells us all we need to know. A mere 17% of respondents say their representatives deserve re-election; Obama's approval ratings are among the most polarized on record; 65% are unsaitsified with how government works; and, at 40%, the President's overall approval rating is practically at record lows.


Gallup's homepage...(hope?)


Despite record low approval ratings...


The American people extremely polarized over the President's abilities...


As a record low number of Americans believe their congressional representative deserves re-election...


As Gallup notes,

The enduring unpopularity of Congress appears to have seeped into the nation's 435 congressional districts, as a record-low percentage of registered voters, 46%, now say the U.S. representative in their own congressional district deserves re-election.


Equally historic, the share of voters saying most members of Congress deserve re-election has fallen to 17%, a new nadir.

But, apart from that, we are sure the state of the union will be strong and it's nothing but up from here...




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Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:56 | 4372848 stant
stant's picture

Not me I won't allow him on my tv

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:06 | 4372884 666
666's picture

I keep shouting to vote the bums out, but everyone keeps voting the bums back in. What am I doing wrong?

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:13 | 4372906 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Did you remember to gib stuff?

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:49 | 4373021 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

You just demonstrated the long term strategy of liberals. F$A, dependency and class warfare (hat tip Mr Perkins). When 90mm don't work and half receive govt benefits, 50mm get free food and a fully dependent family gets $60k in benefits, they will Never vote for the guy saying, "umm, guys, I think maybe the math doesn't work, here...I think we need to trim spending"

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:49 | 4373022 Spanky
Spanky's picture

Not running for office yourself...

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 21:13 | 4373307 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

"What am I doing wrong?"

You still believe in voting.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:21 | 4372894 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Ladies & Gentlemen, The President of the Union States of America!

Boom! This State of the Union Address is sponsored by BRAWNDO! The Thirst Mutilator!!!

[Golf clap]

Shut up. Sit your monkey asses down. Chill out.

Shit. I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

Come on scros, don't be pussies!

Believe that the State of our Union be strong!

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:29 | 4372956 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Maybe President Inequality can splain his multi-million dollar Hawaiian vacations, African safaris, trillion dollar bailouts to his cronies to the six million who lost their health insurance and to the unemployed and people forced to go on government assistance.

Yeah, oughta be a real hoot.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:41 | 4372991 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

"Shut up. Sit your monkey asses down. Chill out."


If you saw Michelle Obama recently "dunking" a toy basketball in the Mural Room of the White House, you know we're not that far off from Idiocracy. 

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:46 | 4373011 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Michelle got back, baby, and it was obvious in that clip. What a fucking lard ass she is, while Bathhouse is skinny as a rail, either from drugs or AIDs.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:55 | 4373033 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

 According to the media, Michelle Obama is the most fashionable and feminine First Lady since Jackie Kennedy.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:27 | 4373119 Ballin D
Ballin D's picture

my question is how many apples does someone need to eat to get that overweight?

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:13 | 4372905 BandGap
BandGap's picture

So I bought another 12 gauge today. When he deep freeze ends going to start shooting more.

Could care less wha this guy says. Doesn't matter a bit.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:50 | 4373019 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Was it an "Assault Shotgun?"

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:14 | 4372911 Tasty Sandwich
Tasty Sandwich's picture

I wonder which cabinet member will not be there, ready to become president if the Capitol gets nuked.

Not that it would really matter.

Cabinet Members Who Did Not Attend the State of the Union Address

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:56 | 4373035 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

"Republican Radel from Florida, busted for Cocaine, resigns from Congress"---way to go ! one down only 450 to go.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:00 | 4373047 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Lets be honest. With the president and congress all together in one room, could there possibly be a better place for a natural catastrophe to occur. Take everyone of the scumsucking pigs out at once

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:29 | 4373142 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

I don't have a TV exactly for that reason

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:59 | 4372850 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Should I put much value in polls of the brainwashed masses who still view most everything in Red/Blue terms?

I don't plan on watching the "State of the Constitutional Overthrow".  I already know how it's going.  It's going spledidly.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:57 | 4372851 gafgroocK
gafgroocK's picture



 Am I being selfish?

I was thinking of getting all my fingernails pulled out instead of watching the Show.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:59 | 4372854 RacerX
RacerX's picture

I wonder which "O" will show. Will it be the folksy O? The sweaty one, with the beady eyes? The Shuckster? Or "E: All of the above"?

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:00 | 4372864 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It'll be the "screw you, bitchez, I'll do what I want" Obama.  

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:00 | 4372868 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

I think it'll be the the Constitution is our problem O

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:12 | 4372903 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

He claims to have studied the constitution for years, so if anyone knows how to fuck it up, he surely does, and indications are he has been extremely successful. That's why he needs to act. Nobody else seems to be willing or able to bring the constitution down. It will take years for the shit he has done to hit the courts and by then he will likely have them restacked anyway. I fear the constitution is cooked.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:49 | 4373016 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yes, but he did not mention it was the old Soviet constitution he studied.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:27 | 4372951 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

The I don't need Congress or the Courts anymoar "O."

"Soon I will erect a statue of myself in every city and hamlet. You must pull down on the member sticking out and deposit your daily offering."

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 00:02 | 4373867 canstacker
canstacker's picture

Every time he mentions what "folks" want, drink. When he says what they need.....double.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:58 | 4372856 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Glad I quit watching TV or owning one for over 8 years. Saved a lot and no more brainwashing.  

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:59 | 4373040 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Absolutely. Could not agree more; it's vitally important. only way to save yourself. Haven't owned one for 50 years.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:18 | 4373092 The Wisp
The Wisp's picture

I've been 40 years without a Television... always confused when somebody says " did you See.? " hardest part is finding an intelligent conversation. which is probably why i like Zero Hedge

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:59 | 4372858 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Cute poll.  Too bad Diebold wasn't included.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:19 | 4372925 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

That's MR. Diebold to you serf! 

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:00 | 4372860 Rainman
Rainman's picture

See what happens, Barry ??

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:58 | 4372861 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

I found a pre-recorded version here:

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:00 | 4372866 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

No Thank you. hate to clog up the BW


Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:00 | 4372872 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Well worth the effort. All the great party members are present.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 18:59 | 4372867 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

Only 17% say their representatives deserve reelection.


Yet 96% of incumbents will be reelected.



Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:15 | 4372910 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

The lesser of two still evil, it just takes longer to get to hell is all.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:00 | 4372870 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Hang him for Treason on National TV.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:21 | 4372932 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

The PPV revenues would probably dent the (Irr)National Debt.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:44 | 4373000 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Until the populace get it through their heads that about 3000 of them are running 320 million of us straight off a cliff, ain't never gonna happen.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:00 | 4373043 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

During the SuperBowl halftime show; now that would get some ratings !

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:00 | 4373049 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Not until I gets my obamaphone.
Then you can have him.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:00 | 4372873 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

Obama spotted a double bottom and is planning to run again in 2016.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:04 | 4372877 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Until Pelosi, Boehner, Feinstein, Reed, Schumer et al lose an election, these polls mean nothing.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:04 | 4372880 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Never Underestimate the power of the sheeples who are so inbred and will vote for the fuckers again.  

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:25 | 4372945 Debt Slave
Debt Slave's picture

Yeah but they have 'freedom of speech' to spew their bullshit over the local airways. Isn't democracy great? The best bullshitter wins! What a great way to run a nation! Right into the ground!

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:06 | 4372883 Termin8or
Termin8or's picture


Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:46 | 4372936 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Man, he won't give us a break. My ass is really sore from the last 5 years. At least he hasn't asked us to blow it-yet.

"C'mon, Amerika, just the tip. I promise!"

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:08 | 4372893 Intelligence_In...
Intelligence_Insulter's picture

The Osama Slayer is in trouble!

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:17 | 4372917 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture



The only thing Obama Slayed was the Constitution

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:09 | 4372897 sparkydoodle
sparkydoodle's picture

I heard that for the first time in history there will be a pause in the POTUS's speech for multiple weddings of ...Dems & Republicans, Bulls & Bears, Hawks & Doves, cats & dogs etc.  

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:14 | 4372909 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

and then Dreams of my Father will be a must read for all .  


Reminds me of Mein Kempf forced upon. Never know might happen in the USSA.


“Any formal attack on ignorance is bound to fail because the masses are always ready to defend their most precious possession – their ignorance.” - Hendrik Willem van Loon


Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:20 | 4372927 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Bath House will marry Reggie right before he shuts down the Capitol.

I've heard he will be wearing a new military dress uniform tomorrow with a lot of medals.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:45 | 4373006 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Rumor has it that in the middle of he speech, a rainbow-colored unicorn will fly over squirting more free shit out of it's ass.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:13 | 4372904 surf0766
surf0766's picture

We are fucked.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:16 | 4372913 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Yeap sure are. The masses will vote back in the same fuckers. 


All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach.

Adolf Hitler

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:16 | 4372915 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

I know I feel violated. I won't take it any further than that.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:02 | 4373059 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

We shear are.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:18 | 4372918 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"We need moar communism and fascism in Amerika! I will swing my EO pen beginning tomorrow! Tonight I take this occasion to announce Congress is now closed. Please follow the guards in the brown shirts, they will take you to your new quarters! Forward!

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:26 | 4372942 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

"When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in an American flag" -Smedly Butler 1932

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:37 | 4372982 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

...and it will arrive via a fake black guy who is really oriental and caucasian with a YT hating complex.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:21 | 4372921 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

One could hope a shadowy hacking network, huddled in some undisclosed stronghold, could interrupt the live feed and blast the airwaves with pictures of Obama cavorting as a hungry bottom with his gay lovers, prancing in drag, photos with his communist father Frank Marshall Davis, a few snapshots of his beard wife prior to her sex change, all the things that would shipwreck any other politician.  The fake left would of course applaud all of this in the name of diversity.

Then perhaps a list of offeneses, Bengahzi, Fast and Furious, the IRS targeting patriot groups, NDAA, Libya, Syria, Solyndra, Executive Orders, the NSA, his personal drug use, all of his ties to radical Muslim groups. Only the dog Bo makes it out of this one.

At least for a couple of years, a stumbling, oafish nitwit like President Biden could be entertaining.


Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:23 | 4372937 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture



Then people would be plucking out their own eyes 


(I guess that would be a win in Paul Krugman's book since it would make work)

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:35 | 4372974 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Oh, man, when he starts speaking they cut in on video of him sucking a big one with another up the Hershey Highway, while wearing a pair of nylons.

Then cut to drones blowing up civilians and then a black mass, where his eyes light up red.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:18 | 4372922 Debt Slave
Debt Slave's picture

I am surprised that the blacks and hispanics aren't happy with Obama's work for the international banks. The libtard whites seem to be.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:26 | 4372948 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Have you seen the line of whities just cheering?

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:38 | 4372988 Debt Slave
Debt Slave's picture

Not since MLK I haven't.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:48 | 4373018 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

All my white Leftist friends have twisted themselves into pretzels defending this guy. The sad shit I hear is unreal - from 'that's not really happening' to 'but it's for our own good'.

I kid you not.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:05 | 4373067 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

That's what you get for having Leftist friends; reality is trying to tell you something. You need some new friends.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 21:34 | 4373397 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Same here brother, I live in Los Angeles and I hear everything you just mentioned verbatim.

I pray for a collapse on Obama's watch so all of his sycophantic followers can eat their own shit, but somehow I think even a major SHTF event would not be enough to break their will to follow the guy over the cliff... they would still find something else to blame it on.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:22 | 4372938 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

40% are guaranteed f'in idiots, 58% still believe in voting, 1% are too f'in rich to worry, and the remainder are here or prepping...

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:27 | 4372949 ifishivote
ifishivote's picture

gays, blacks and unions are what make up obamas 40%.


He was against gay marriage until he needed to be reelected.


Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:26 | 4372950 robnume
robnume's picture

These fucking politicians are  NOT getting re-elected, for the simple reason that we don't have real democratic elections in this country. The pols are SELECTED by TPTB and no one else. The Electoral College is another of the reasons that these fucks keep getting reappointed. And make no mistake, folks, these are political appointments, not elections. Wake the fuck up, sheeple!

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:29 | 4372959 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

ZH should provide a live feed of Foodstamp's address with the national debt clock included at the bottom of the screen which updates as Foodstamp announces his "investments."

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:31 | 4372960 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

I can't wait to hear another "Campaign / It's Bush's Fault" speech. Sprinkled with a little "People hate me because I'm 1/2 Black" racism. In fact, I would rather rip my toenails off than listen to this motherfucker ever again. Any Republican worth their salt, should not attend.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:39 | 4372987 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

I'm betting money he tells the country he plans to act with or without Congress. Whereupon the media spring into pre-planned demands he use 'any means necessary'. Because WE CAN'T WAIT!  

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:33 | 4372963 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

The drinking game with center around who gets the blame...

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:34 | 4372969 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

Hillary will be even worse.  If she is installed in 2016, it's going to get real crazy and even more narcissistic.  Then of course the demonization is complete: If you hate Obama, you're a racist (and a homophobe) if you hate Hillary, you're a mysoginist (and a homophobe).



Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:35 | 4372970 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Someone, please add this hack into Foodstamp's teleprompter: "The state of al Queda in Falluja is strong!"

Any others to add?

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:27 | 4373126 The Wisp
The Wisp's picture

so if we sniper the prompters,  what will come out.. oh wait they will whisk him off to safety.. Ok hack the prompters just make them Go blank so he has to think.. Oh Wait..

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:36 | 4372975 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Within one hour of the speech, his approval rating will have soared to record highs on promises of hope and more free shit. And MSNBC will tearfully declare him a god.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:35 | 4372976 jomama
jomama's picture

since when does it matter what the plebes think?

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:36 | 4372978 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

"...a brief reflection on the nation's view of him and his government was worthwhile."

Whose government is it?

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." U.S. Constitution, 1787.

We the people (from a far greater stock of people long ago), per this document delegate specific powers to a selected few persons with our permission to govern us on our terms. It's our government, not his.

When you accept, via freudian slip or not, that the USA belongs to the elected then despotism wins.

It is time to reset the Republic.


Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:41 | 4372995 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Wait till he tells everyone how successful Obamacare has become in only a short time, proving the critics wrong - and can't we have Mr. Mikumbe Motumbo, who's with us tonight, stand up and show us the smiling face of someone who had no health insurance but now does! Stand up, Mikumbe! Hooray!

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:51 | 4373027 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

Obamacare is successful! Successful, no matter how inefficient it is because its success lies within the accepted premise. Its opponents don't argue against its premise and instead exhaust themselves in the minutia of wrestling tenacles; makes you wonder if they really do oppose it or if they too are Running With the Devil.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:42 | 4372999 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Alluva you cocksuckers out there better fucking jump when I give the Word."

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:43 | 4373002 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

The Nation may tune in.We do not.

Five years of lies has proven year after year....He only lies.

Nuff said.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:47 | 4373007 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Dont want to burst your bubble but I dont give a shit what that liar says!  

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:47 | 4373010 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

Oh and spews shit right out of his mouth

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:52 | 4373023 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

He will tell the fools willing to listen to his bullshit how we all need to suffer then next week it will be off to another Million Dollar vacation compliments of you and me while Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan pick the meat off the American peoples bones via courrption and fraud which is now their global trademark.  Hopefully Kerry will show up and they will throw eggs at this fool!.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 19:57 | 4373036 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

Good news! The Crisis Actors form the staged Boston Marathon Bombing will be attending The State of The Union address.  Wheee!



Mon, 01/27/2014 - 20:27 | 4373128 booboo
booboo's picture

"The President will give from time to time, the state of the Union"

Spare us, it will have no mention of "the state of the unon", rather a list of veiled threats, pandering to unions, government workers and more class warfare rhetoric.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 22:23 | 4373585 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

Our Politicians are idiots but 17% deserve re-election and 93% get re-elected? I guess we know who the real idiots are now.

Mon, 01/27/2014 - 22:53 | 4373682 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Anxiously awaits?


Newsflash- viewership of last years address with down 30% over Obama's first address. Nobody gives a shit. Nobody is awaiting anything.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 06:19 | 4374323 olenumbersix
olenumbersix's picture

Maybe its just me but everytime I watch this asshole speak I get the sense he just hates us little people, the loathing just seeps out of him. I wonder if he will even step aside after his second term, I guess it will depend on how much damage he is able to do.  You know mission accomplished= hate = distroyed. I wonder what happened to him growing up I mean who the fuck bent him? Guess it doesn't matter. study his back ground looks to me like he was programed to hate and tought how to dismantle America from the top down/ from the inside out. his voting record or lack of, the kinds of teachers he sought out, his male role models, even his choice of church. just saying

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 06:35 | 4374337 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Obama: "I shat in your peas, now eat em."

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