The 'Economic' State Of The Union

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Lance Roberts of STA Wealth Management,


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hedgeless_horseman's picture



Mr. Obama also will remind lawmakers that he intends to issue more executive orders in this 'year of action' after criticizing the 2013 Congress as one of the most unproductive in history.

The fact that Barack Obama, an ethnic minority in America, is supporting the end of the filibuster in the US Senate is a very telling sign-post on what appears to be the road to, "A tyranny of the majority."


Ratscam's picture

"The President will do his best to put a positive spin on the current economic environment and ..."
Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Jean Connery as John Mason in The Rock

AlaricBalth's picture

My fellow Americans blah blah blah blah blah blah ME blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ME blah blah blah blah ME blah blah blah blah GOVERNMENT MUST blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  blah blah EVIL TEA PARTY blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah LET ME BE CLEAR blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah EVIL REPUBLICANS blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah TAXES ARE TOO LOW blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I SUPPORT ISRAEL blah blah blah blah INCOME INEQUALITY blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah NEW IDEAS blah blah blah blah blah blah blah EVIL RICH blah blah blah blah OBAMACARE IS WORKING blah blah blah blah blah blah I blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ME blah blah ME blah blah blah blah blah blah (LONG PAUSE) blah  blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah OBAMACARE IS WORKING blah blah blah THANKS TO MY STEWARDSHIP OVER A RECOVERED ECONOMY blah blah blah blah blah blah  GOVERNMENT CAN blah blah blah blah blah blah blah YOU NEED ME blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I WILL DO WHAT I WANT IN-SPITE OF CONGRESSblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah CARING blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah CHANGE blah blah blah blah blah blah blah TOMORROW WILL BE GREAT blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (REPEAT 259 TIMES)”

Grande Tetons's picture

Toss in folks, threats, Iran and children. 

hedgeless_horseman's picture



I am afraid the Calvin Candie (Harry Reid) and Stephen (POTUS) visual reference (above) might be too subtle, especially for those that have not seen Mr. Tarantino's film.

Calvin Candie gets his wealth from forcing male slaves to fight to the death in Mandingo fights and running a brothel in Greenville in his Cleopatra Club, making him a pimp/slavemaster.



His best friend is Stephen, an Uncle Tom who caters to his master's every need to the detriment of his fellow slaves...

...and thus we have the odd age-old case of a minority telling us that Majority Rule is good for us...


Mr. Obama also will remind lawmakers that he intends to issue more executive orders in this 'year of action'

Levadiakos's picture

Yeah, maybe "I haven't driven a car in 18 years" is a euphemism.

Colonel Klink's picture

Hitlery was misquoted.  They meant to say SHE hasn't been driven in 18 years.  She's a serial scissorer!

BLOTTO's picture

I also heard* that half way through Obama's speech their will be a short ceremony to marry '33' couples of various backgrounds and sexual orientation, and it will be officiated by Dennis Rodman...



atomp's picture

Thank you HH, haven't seen it. Sounds entertaining.

kralizec's picture

This punk has only three elements to his game: 1) race card 2) blame card 3) lie ass off card.

He'll cycle through all these dozens of times over, as usual.

Fuck him and all like him!

Handful of Dust's picture

i hope his exec order includes:

1. $3,000 bucks for my 'Thingamajig' which he promised me a couple of years ago;

2. slash all WS bonuses to no more then $100 million/quarter;

3. bring all our troops home finally, instead of moving them from desert to desert like the wandering tribes of Abraham;

4. a free Hummer in every driveway; and,

5. a minimum savings rate yield of a generous 0.02% instead of the devastatingly meager 0.01% we get now.

funthea's picture

ohhhhh... You said, "Fuck him and all like him!" That is obviously a reference to all half black people everywhere. Therefore, true to form of the liberal stratosphere, you need to be called a racist, and all of your points, regardless of validity, need to be stricken from the collective consciousness of society.

kralizec's picture

The "liberal stratosphere" = "all like him"!  :)

XitSam's picture

4) spend other people's money card

but you may have assumed that since Obama is a politician

max2205's picture

Yet for 200 years we are at all time highs......I guess Anzn will post $8 per share earnings this week to confirm it all

TeamDepends's picture

Big Brother/Sister says to corporations, "start hiring or receive a visit from an IRS agent".  How's that for stimulus?

Billy Sol Estes's picture

Wahahahhaha USA USA USA! Bin Laden/Snowden is dead!

TeamDepends's picture

Was Snowden also buried at sea?

Billy Sol Estes's picture

Don't worry, they will generate footage by throwing a prop from that Boris Karloff movie into the gulf of mexico by some on-leave coast guard sea rats.

Billy Sol Estes's picture


Surely these are the actions of someone confident in his work and signs we are in a recovering economy.


Mr. Obama will emphasize his intention to use unilateral presidential authority—bypassing Congress when necessary—to an extent not seen in his previous State of the Union speeches, White House officials said.

He also is expected to announce that some of the nation's largest employers, including Xerox Corp. XRX +2.17% , AT&T Inc., T +0.64% Lockheed Martin Corp. LMT +0.81% and Procter & Gamble Co. PG +1.12% , have signed a White House pledge agreeing not to discriminate against the long-term unemployed when making hiring decisions, according to a draft of the policy and interviews with several people familiar with the matter.


Xandrino's picture

Stats and numbers dont mean shit anymore. They're cooked up or don't mean shit.

It's the 140 nations where the US has MILITARY PRESENCE, that's the real issue.

Gung Ho economics. Buy our shit or be bombed to hell!


It's the 90-95% of the population that has to wake up, nothing will change otherwise...and history shows that NEVER's just a changing of the gatekeepers. This has been going on for 2000 years and it will not change.

TuesdayBen's picture

Will this loser discuss how many he has driven into poverty?

Billy Sol Estes's picture

Walmart, Walmart that's our store,

We shop there cuz we are poor.

Levadiakos's picture

Raise the minimum wage. Problem solved.

Quinvarius's picture

He is waiting for the auditorium to fill up with that target audience first.  No point starting now.

Billy Sol Estes's picture

Read this without laughing.


"launch a plan that would allow workers whose employers don’t offer retirement

plans to invest money for retirement, tax deferred,

in Treasury bonds; the employees could eventually convert those savings to"

ebworthen's picture

Yeah, eventually convert those savings to IRA's, which will be taxed into oblivion or converted to Treasury madated and defined annuities.

ebworthen's picture

Welcome to the New Rome.

All flail Caesar.

ebworthen's picture

True.  Only difference I can see is it would force people to buy Treasuries for a defined period.  .Gov needs a buyer for what the Chinese will be selling?

Billy Sol Estes's picture

Next Yellen will start printing toilet paper at the Marriner Eccles building so China can trade in our Bonds for SOMETHING.

Grande Tetons's picture

Some financial institution, or several, will need to administer the program and collect fees.  So, nothing will change...the investor...will still be fucked and charged for the pleasure. 

earleflorida's picture

seriously, what's better for wiping your ass? toilet paper or a rich-n-fibre sand paper bond,...

Billy Sol Estes's picture

Don't worry, they're only going to be buying 'WeAlTh CoUpOnS' anyways...

Rising Sun's picture

Barry is a pawn.


Levadiakos's picture

Obama is growing old as gracefully as Madonna.

the grateful unemployed's picture

Mongo just pawn in game of life

101 years and counting's picture

"Obama's policies"?  as in plural?  it seems hes had 1 policy since 2009.  do nothing, let ben print.

Levadiakos's picture

Obama should executive order a new commemorative DVD box set of Pete Seeger, and give the proceeds to Vietnam refugees in Houston.

q99x2's picture

I give him the highest impeachment rating of any US President.

free_lunch's picture

TPP & TTIP will make us all rich.....right?

"Another back-room secret corporate deal. The TPP has been shrouded in secrecy and backers now want to rush it through Congress." TPP:


Billy Sol Estes's picture

NAFTA has brought us untold amounts of wealth and disease

Comte d'herblay's picture

Since I first became cognizant of this annual non-event, (I was passing by the TV screen one year when it was on at my dad's house and wondered why all these human beans were clapping after each sentence the speaker uttered), I have never seen, heard, or absorbed thru osmosis a single syllable of these inane, narcissistic, oratorical selfies.

In celebration tonight at having purposefully missed this Annual vomitous of words that signify nothing, I will crack open a pack of Keebler Chocolate Chip cookies, go down into the basement and sight in my new .22 semiautomatic LR, using silent bullets, with targets will have pictures of hilary clinton, theBamster, McConnell, Pelosi, Ruth Ginsberg, Joe Cassano, Lord Blankfein, Steve Schwarzman, Alan Greenspan, Tim Geithner, Neel KAshkari, Ben Bernanke, Jack Lew, Janet Yellen, Robby Rubin, Jamie ( i mean really, "Jamie" for a grown up??), Chelsea, bill, sid blumenthal, Joe Conason, Gloria Allred, Bill O'Reilly, sean Hannity and most of the RINO  house members, and RINO senators.

 The catharsis of using the images of these 4th rate human beans as targets is exhilarating.  And a much better use of my time than sitting there enthralled at the bold faced lies, the omissions, the spin, and bullshit that passes for POTUS politics. 

the grateful unemployed's picture

declare victory on the economy and move on. if you tune in for that you really have too much time on your hands

QE49er's picture

80% Job Approval in DC...time to invade & overthrow

Schmuck Raker's picture

The answer to the question:"Are we better off today than we were when the current Administration took control?",

has been the same, "NO", my entire life.

However, the illusion of prosperity has been maintained better in preceeding years.

muleskinner's picture

Good evening, Americans and members of Congress.

I have only two more words to speak this evening.

I resign.

tommylicious's picture

It's time for Tax Cuts.  Central Bank can't do all the heavy lifting whilst pols act like toddlers throwing tantrums.