Icahn Stock Tweetpump Halflife Down To Just Five Minutes

Tyler Durden's picture


Following yesterday's ugly AAPL results (broken down here) we had only one question this morning:


Moments ago we got the answer: just after 11:04 am Eastern.


No mention of AAPL being a "no-brainer" buy here, the way it was at $560. What's worse for the billionaire twitter is that the half life impact of his tweets is now just under 5 minutes.

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Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:16 | 4375375 tallen
tallen's picture

Pump and Dump Master Icahn.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:18 | 4375387 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

He's just tryin' to help, you know, the little guy.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:21 | 4375405 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

He asked his 'sell team', "You guys ready over there?"

*sends tweet*

*stock goes marginally higher*


Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:26 | 4375425 MarkD
MarkD's picture

And it will considered legal. WTF?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:35 | 4375454 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Carl iCon tweets his pump & dump trash on his Samsung tablet while laughing @ the peeps believing in the Herbalife business model -that depends on guilt-tripping relatives and friends to buy snake oil from you.

Herbalife is similar to Girl Scout Cookies, except its products aren't for a charity, taste like shit, don't do shit, and are unfit for their intended purpose.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:38 | 4375466 john39
john39's picture


these kinds of scams are the cornerstone of the modern eCONomy afterall.   who really needs most of the shit produced these days?   This world needs to fundamentally rethink some basic concepts about what matters in life and how humans should get along. 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:30 | 4376002 Rick Blaine
Rick Blaine's picture

I'm a registered libertarian for god's sake, and even I think this shit Icahn pulls, pretty much daily now, should be illegal.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:40 | 4375467 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Senile Motherfuckin spotted hyena's name should now  be Carl I-canT!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:58 | 4375562 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

I hope icahn's Viagra lasts longer than his stock pumps

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:15 | 4375612 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

One thing is for sure - Carl iConBecauseTheyLetMe Icahn has, at best, a few years left on earth.

And there's nothing pump & dump about that.

p.s. News Breaks
January 28, 2014
12:03 EDT HLF Herbalife drops 5% after NY Post says inquiry launched in Canada


Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:48 | 4375810 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture



Icahn is now in distress

His plan to pump Apple's a mess

Talking his book

Should make him a crook

Should this be illegal?...why yes!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:43 | 4376102 mliu_01
mliu_01's picture

Save buffett for later.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 16:29 | 4376652 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Why YES, dreams can come true.

Some guy on CNBS that writes the "Wellington" letter, just said his PT is in the $300's for AAPL.

I hope he's right. Just once while I'm on this earth, I'd like to see ICon take it from the rear.

With salt, sand & lemon juice. 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:55 | 4375538 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

That's because AAPL broke the trendline by 30$ an next stop is 480 @ the 200.


Carl, you're going to need another 500 after the close..



Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:20 | 4375399 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

Where the hell are the SEC?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:20 | 4375402 tallen
tallen's picture

Watching midget porn?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:23 | 4375406 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Hey ... what of it? My midget dick needs love too.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:27 | 4375432 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Apple is dying.  Anyone with a brain can see it.  Android and Kindle are eating their base away at a time the consumer is dying. 


The whole Icrap line needs to be shelved.  The question is, do they have a visionary that will come up with shit  that morons will camp out to have?   



Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:30 | 4375444 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

The problem is... Wait for it....

Steve Jobs is dead.

Tim Cook is a logistics guy.  Back in 1998, when Apple was not making money, he was the kind of guy they needed, in tandem w/ Jobs.

On his own, at this stage of the company's 'lifecycle', he is quite worthless.


Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:22 | 4375698 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Jobs died on Oct. 2011.  I am amazed it has held up this long.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:08 | 4375630 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

But, but, but their next generation of products will be even thinner!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:33 | 4375732 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

After Apple TV takes off (any day now), Tim Cook claims Apple will unveil a tablet in the form of a fruit roll up.

On a serious note, Apple is absolutely a seller of nothing more than commodities now, many of which the competition like Samsung, HTC, etc., makes a better product.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:58 | 4375556 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Challenge Accpeted!!


This tweet pump is going to be LEGEND -

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:00 | 4375572 VD
VD's picture

Icahn = true vampire

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 17:13 | 4376825 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Not a master but an amateur.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:16 | 4375382 One And Only
One And Only's picture

The problems of a senial billionaire.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:35 | 4375458 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@One And Only

True dat.   Maybe he has his mind on his money and his money on his mind.  Hope he has fun hugging his digital billions.  If this whole Fed-induced quandry has made me realize anything, it's that the best things in life really are the simple things.  Happiness and contentedness are a state of mind, not the value of your trading account.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:18 | 4375383 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Its down because he is dumping
Its a no brainer

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:21 | 4375395 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

LOL, lower now than before tweet....fuck off iCahn.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:20 | 4375397 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Icahn the greater fool? If it were only so! Hope he takes a bath on AAPL when it waterfalls later this week.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:21 | 4375398 starman
starman's picture

he probly tweets hes wife , honey my dick is up get undressed cause it only lasts 5 min!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:21 | 4375401 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

What kind of serious investor pays attention to the tweets of Icahn, when every serious investor knows the tweets of Cramer are far more substantial.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:49 | 4375514 MarkD
MarkD's picture

No serious investors needed...... just brainless sheeple. Read comments on MW and others...... that's who he is sucking in.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:22 | 4375409 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

iCUNT should be indicted for market manipulation.  Plain and simple.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:23 | 4375411 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Iconn's middle name is boilerroom.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 16:20 | 4376598 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

It's "Crusty," which refers to downstairs & upstairs.

He also goes by the middle name of Carl "the Big Phlegm" iCon in certain circles.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:28 | 4375434 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

This a stupid tweet. Just shows he did not make his money due to his intelligence.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:27 | 4375436 yogibear
yogibear's picture
Icahn is the scum of society. This guy is satin's buddy.
Tue, 01/28/2014 - 16:36 | 4376682 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Ah, but he's the one wearing lace.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:29 | 4375438 youngman
youngman's picture

This is the big new app for 2014....Activist Investors.....hey because when you own some stock...you should be able to tell the company what to do....its the American Way...and you get on CNBC every month

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:41 | 4375472 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Carl Ichan, sucker for Apple insiders. LOL

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:42 | 4375474 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Fuck you Icahn.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:45 | 4375501 halfawake
halfawake's picture

halflife is HALF the time an element remains active, right? that looks like fulllife. on a long enough timeline..

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:47 | 4375505 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Maybe Icahnt will Tweet this message one day:

"Help me.  Apple stock has fallen and it won't go up..."

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:57 | 4375557 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture


Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:01 | 4375579 johnjkiii
johnjkiii's picture

Was the tweeting twit trying to tout targets to trick? http://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/30507317

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:03 | 4375587 johnjkiii
johnjkiii's picture

Here's what we said about this last week: http://t.co/HvvpQZHOsU

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:04 | 4375601 Cornholiovanderbilt
Cornholiovanderbilt's picture

'Hot Carl' ichan. Asshole and cronyist like the rest

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:27 | 4375713 W74
W74's picture

And I'm glad he got hosed for it.  How much you wanna bet this was an insider-info play and that Ichan got played hard?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:10 | 4375633 NaiLib
NaiLib's picture

..predictable. Now he has to buy on every dip. Join him or go against.

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