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Man Jumps To His Death From JPMorgan London Headquarters

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Early this morning, at JPM's 33 story high London Headquarters located at 25 Bank Street in Canary Wharf, a 39 year-old man jumped to his death after falling onto a 9th floor roof. The police, who were called to the scene at 8:02 this morning, said they are not treating the death as suspicious and no arrests have been made, suggesting the death was indeed a suicide.  London Ambulance Service and London Air Ambulance attended but they could not save the man. 

Bloomberg quotes Jennifer Zuccarelli, a spokeswoman for JPMorgan in London who said that “We are reviewing a very sad incident at 25 Bank Street this morning."  The building and the surrounding area is “currently secure,” she said.

From Bloomberg:

The 11-year-old skyscraper is 33 stories high, according to building-data provider Emporis. It was formerly the European headquarters of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., which filed for the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history in 2008.

 

The bank declined to identify the deceased person or say whether they worked for JPMorgan. The police are waiting for “formal identification,” they said in an e-mailed statement.

London24, which also notes that this is the second high profile banking death within just a few days after Deutsche bank announced its former executive William Broeksmit 58, was found dead in his home on Sunday, caught some tweets describing the incident:

Is this just the first of many banker suicides, if indeed this was a suicide?

 

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Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:52 | 4374475 Calculus99
Calculus99's picture

Very sad indeed.

RIP

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:58 | 4374496 jaap
jaap's picture

33... is the magic number...

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:00 | 4374510 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Jump you fuckers!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:03 | 4374517 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Shades of Vince Foster.

  All of Hillary's crimes are new again.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:12 | 4374535 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Shades of 1929 all over again!

And it's not the fall that kills em....

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:26 | 4374571 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I was wondering how they were going to do that given modern sky scrapers all have sealed windows.  

Time for Jamie Dimon to collect the executive "roof access" keys.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:45 | 4374676 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Headline tomorrow: senior FX and precious metals trader jumps to his death

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:23 | 4374833 tmosley
tmosley's picture

I guess you guys didn't get the memo about the new "No Whistleblowers Allowed" policy at JPM.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:32 | 4375734 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

Jump and do a flip. :)

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:24 | 4375122 max2205
max2205's picture

Jumped or.....pushed?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:57 | 4375852 Keyser
Keyser's picture

I would vote for thrown. 

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:36 | 4375764 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Jamie Dimon isn't 39 is he?    *crosses fingers*

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:39 | 4374650 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

History doesn't repeat, but it does rhyme. WWI and WWII were basically the same war with a brief halftime intermission. During intermission, the global debt Ponzi scheme finished running its course. WWII was a kind of global reset button with a new reserve currency coming out on the other side. If today is 1929, 9/11 would represent the start of WWI. The years in between are the roaring 20's (for China... nouevzeauriche... it works). The Great Depression started in '29, but kind of bounced around some for a bit. It was bad, but people thought it would be short-lived. Then Creditanstalt bank went under in '31 and the shit really hit the fan. I think today is kind of like '31. I think the next big domino to fall will be viewed like the Creditanstalt bank and will plunge the world back into the depression which it never really left. Again... doesn't fit perfectly, only rhymes... but seems pretty aligned.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:56 | 4375848 Bunders
Bunders's picture

Poor taste alert, if you are of a sensetive disposition please do not follow this link:

Monty Python

B.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:48 | 4376136 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

how can anyone not click on the link when you type that? +1 anytime for monty python

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 15:12 | 4376309 SunnyDD
SunnyDD's picture

." The building and the surrounding area is “currently secure,” 

It's 9-11 all over again me tell ya,

wait, me get to turn on the online CNN see if the Lehman Brothers's  skyscraper do a free fall again.  

de tv gone dark after 9-11 hehe.

talk about domino, there is an other plunge today:

Former top executive at Deutsche Bank found hanged at his Kensington home Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2547343/Former-executive-Deutsche-Bank-hanged-Kensington-home.html#ixzz2rin9XbX3
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Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:47 | 4374931 laomei
laomei's picture

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casualties_of_the_September_11_attacks#By_t...

 

Funny how that works... lots of bankers get what they deserve and we all get endless bullshit forever because of it.  No one seems to like making that connection for some reason.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:12 | 4374538 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

No pictures?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:18 | 4374550 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Apparently you don't need rope if you hang them from a high enough tree.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:23 | 4374566 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

"Ok, enough of that nonsense giggling ... now get back to work desks."

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:29 | 4374598 DavidC
DavidC's picture

SilverIsKing,
I really hope that is sarcasm.

DavidC

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:39 | 4374648 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

I personally have no interest in seeing a bloody and mangled corpse but in this day and age of digital photography and the ease by which one can take photos and communicate them to millions i.e. twitpic, Instagram, etc, I'm surprised those tweets didn't include photos.

That said, it's still early. I would bet that someone who saw the scene there took pictures and they will find their way onto the net.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:59 | 4375285 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I'm gonna back your bet up with another bet, that the pic would present an inordinate bag of goo swathed in a pinstripe suit, with hair tufting out from a lobe at one end that was once a human head, now simply a hastily-stuffed cap to a scarecrow-like effigy, perhaps with discernable facial features that show neither pain nor suffering, only absence of life, with limbs bent at angles impossible for an intact living vertabrate, with blood streaming here and there sourced by the various wounds and vectoring according to the laws of gravity, pooling predictably according to the planes of the pavement which may or may not have been fractured or disordered by the impact.  Depending upon the color processing of the device used to take the picture, the blood may present as crimson (if dried or coagulated), to red (if frozen), to a kind of sicky red-orange (if mixed with winter slurry on the sidewalk), and the device's pixelation of the once-facial features may translate from outright ghastly to subtly comical, depending upon the viewer's inner reflections of the image.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 19:22 | 4377336 PhilofOz
PhilofOz's picture

Pavement? Understand he landed on a roof... don't know if it was a tin roof or concrete, if the latter, guess your description is correct. Are you a proffesional writer bye chance?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:05 | 4374518 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This canary got wharfed. 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:04 | 4375320 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Clearly a Fall guy.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:08 | 4374526 Croesus
Croesus's picture

@ Richard Chesler: 

You beat me to it...

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:25 | 4374573 SilverDOG
SilverDOG's picture

 

 

 

MOAR !!!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:26 | 4374842 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

I just thought I'd be neighborly and provide the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yge311sFhC8

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:32 | 4374871 johnnymustardseed
johnnymustardseed's picture

Jamie Dimon??? Upset they were fined 20 Billion Dollars?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:47 | 4375813 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Naw, he got a 74% raise... Surely not depressed..

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:17 | 4375083 johnconnor
johnconnor's picture

we just need the other 100,000 plus employees to jump as well

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:18 | 4375948 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

Yeah I hope he'll start a trend among his co-workers... C'mon follow the leader!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:58 | 4374979 SquirrelButtDan
SquirrelButtDan's picture

@ Jaap   Yes, why 33 same sex couples married at the music awards the other night.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:01 | 4374513 Laughing Stock
Laughing Stock's picture

 

 

File under "Good" and "Who gives a shit"

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:31 | 4374608 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Maybe it hasn't occurred to you that the ones most likely to do this are the ones with a sense of morality or integrity. Not all banking staff are sociopaths. Would Dimon do it? No.

DavidC

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:33 | 4374624 The They
The They's picture

Or the selfish ones who realize they're about to lose all their money and go to jail

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:42 | 4374652 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

My guess is it's not someone who had a sudden attack of morality...if it's anything like NY it's someone who found out they got a 1.5 mil bonus instead of a 2 mil bonus.\

http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/01/09/bankers-bonus-blues/?_php=true&_t...

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 13:01 | 4375571 zeta34
zeta34's picture

I know this guy, he was an IT guy, not a banker as described.  His bonus was going to be in the 30k range, and pretty well predicted...not $2M as posited here.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:00 | 4374751 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

No banker is ever going to goal.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:45 | 4374677 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

Maybe he lost all of someone else's money and was scared shitless. Morality? Integrity? Banking? Bankers?

I've learned one thing... I don't agree with you. All banking staff are sociopaths. Look at the world through the windows, people are suffering due to banker fraud. If the people continue to go to work at said bank to facilitate this shit, then they are sociopaths. You can't keep blaming someone else. Sometimes, like this guy at least admitted, the blame lies at ones feet.

And by the way, all Google staff are also sociopaths. And all staff at the NSA, at the CIA, at DHS, etc. Anyone who is facilitating the destruction of society / civilization / citizens is a sociopath.

And, to conclude, if you were not already delusional, I'd recommend you save your sympathy for those average citizens who die every fucking day, including those who jump / immolate / suicide - murder, due to the extreme fraud being perpetrated by the sociopathic bankers.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 12:01 | 4375277 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

"All banking staff are sociopaths." Really?

And all generalizations are false (including this one).

That is just plain wrong. Many entry level employees just want a job and are probably not educated as to the evils of the banking system.

I have always felt that Communism was evil, but that didn't mean I hated every citizen of the Soviet Union. I hated the system.

Many years ago I worked at a bank for about 2 years. When I got educated about their ways and could not accept them, I quit.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 16:37 | 4376678 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

If you deny responsibility, there will be no reform.

 

My definition starts and ends here: Complicit.

 

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 19:25 | 4377347 PhilofOz
PhilofOz's picture

"All banking staff are sociopaths." Really?

 

Well he exaggerated a little bit.... 90% of banking staff are sociopaths and psychopaths.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:46 | 4374685 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

I think he would probably commit suicide in the more modern tradition -- by shooting himself in the back of the head three times after tying his hands behind his back.  And then writing a suicide note exonerating his masters.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:16 | 4374549 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

"As Lord is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly!"

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 17:00 | 4376773 saulysw
saulysw's picture

You got me - that was hilarious. If you are reading this and not getting it, search YouTube for "Turkey drop"...

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:38 | 4374643 Leonardo Fibonacci2
Leonardo Fibonacci2's picture

I am not mad, i just get suicidal!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:35 | 4374888 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

His name was Flat Stanley.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 21:32 | 4394537 SuperRay
SuperRay's picture

A 39 year old banker with enough of a conscience to kill himself? Right.

What did he know, and who did he know it about?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:52 | 4374476 Four chan
Four chan's picture

hopefully this is the start of a trend. rip

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:51 | 4374477 AreaMan
AreaMan's picture

The higher they go the harder they fall

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:51 | 4374479 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

Too bad Jaime wasn't around for the ride down.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:55 | 4374480 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Now JP Morgan has someone they can pin the whole Libor fraud on. Needed that one person incapable of defending where the original orders came from.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:53 | 4374483 maskone909
maskone909's picture

This man obviously learned that the fed isnt actually a government agency.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:52 | 4374484 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

anytime someone falls onto a 9th floor roof THEN jumps to his death I find it suspicious. But that's just me.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:55 | 4374495 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

No more suspicious than shooting yourself in the head twice.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:58 | 4374499 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

"Dave we heard you put on a long position in our precious metals division"

"Yeah well I uh figured....(gets picked up and thrown off the 33rd story and lands on the 9th floor roof)

"Mike I think he moved, go pick him up and throw him off again"

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:10 | 4374532 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

The internal JPM Police report will read:  Dave was demoted for insubordination.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:49 | 4374706 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Dave was defenestrated for insubordination.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:26 | 4375131 max2205
max2205's picture

Ok....time for a bedcheck for Jon....Jon?....

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:30 | 4374595 holgerdanske
holgerdanske's picture

a 39 year-old man jumped to his death after falling onto a 9th floor roof.

 

Quite a feat, if you think about it.!

 

That's what you get for living on the edge. Hope his family is ok.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:04 | 4374766 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

Exactly, the way the Tylers report the incident one is led to believe the man followed in Polanski's footsteps with a double jump as seen in "The Tenant" - albeit not dressed in drag. Here's a better version from The Daily Mail:

"A banker has died after jumping 500ft from the top of JP Morgan's headquarters in London.

The man, who is believed to be aged 39, fell from the 33-floor skyscraper and was found this morning on the ninth-floor roof of the building in Canary Wharf, east London.

JP Morgan refused to say what role the man had, although a source said he was a banker."

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:27 | 4375142 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Obama pushed him off with that awkward, uncoordinated, girly throwing motion of his and didn't have enough umph to project the guy all the way over the 9th floor jutout.  Fuckin band geek.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:53 | 4374485 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

His family should sue JP Morgan for not properly having 'This is Not an Exit' signs on all the offices with windows.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:52 | 4374486 Agstacker
Agstacker's picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hU4bwFutNw

 

Picture Jamie Dimon as Longshanks and this is what happened.  

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:29 | 4374592 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

and bernanke is the gay little douche thats gets backhand by daddy.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:53 | 4374487 AreaMan
AreaMan's picture

#AskJPMorgan Who cleans up the blood?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:53 | 4374488 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Tell me why ...I don't like Mondays

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:55 | 4374491 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Gonna shoo shoooot the whole day down.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:53 | 4374490 new game
new game's picture

long kevlar umbellas with titanium braces!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:55 | 4374493 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Just one?  Well it's a start.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 08:58 | 4374498 WTFMOFO
WTFMOFO's picture

GERONIMOOOOOOOOO  Bitchez!

 

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:00 | 4374505 dirtyfiles
dirtyfiles's picture

silver lining story hopefully more to come LoL

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:03 | 4374507 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

So what did he do? Stumble across the 9th story roof and jump again? I don't think this was the janitor. 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:01 | 4374508 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

25 Jump Street

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:02 | 4374514 falak pema
falak pema's picture

"Where's my golden parachute", were his last words?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:03 | 4374515 Ivanovich
Ivanovich's picture

One less banker is a better world.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:02 | 4374516 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Maybe, just maybe Dimon was visiting London?

Or maybe he was todays whistleblower and he jumped twice....

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:04 | 4374519 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

make it rain....

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:06 | 4374520 MrButtoMcFarty
MrButtoMcFarty's picture

And somewhere an angel got its wings.....

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:55 | 4374735 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Somewhere a devil got his due.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:11 | 4374524 Kokulakai
Kokulakai's picture

It's a start.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:10 | 4374527 laomei
laomei's picture

Here's hope it starts raining men like 9/11 all over again.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:29 | 4374603 Reader1
Reader1's picture

Bwahahahaah!

Cue the club music

"It's raining men!"

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:35 | 4374862 laomei
laomei's picture

http://i.imgur.com/4x8adLn.jpg

I give this one about a 7.5... good form, but splashed the landing.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:11 | 4374530 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

What good is being richer then me when your dead

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:23 | 4374564 FullFaithAndCretin
FullFaithAndCretin's picture

Even if I were dead I would still understand punctuation better than you.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:23 | 4374568 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

spelling nazi!!!!!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:07 | 4374783 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

than.

 

you're.

 

Tyler -- captcha.

 

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:22 | 4374821 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

ok ...ok...ok

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:11 | 4374531 Calculus99
Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:14 | 4374543 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Nothing suspicious there.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:26 | 4374570 Croesus
Croesus's picture

 

If this is the start of a trend, then 2014 may very well be the year "shit falls apart". 

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:07 | 4374782 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Or the year shit finally turns around...

just saying, be optimistic.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:25 | 4374840 Leaf of Tree
Leaf of Tree's picture

2014 is the year is will be visible and clear to all that shit is going down.

Might see an Antichrist or two.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:24 | 4375969 the0ther
the0ther's picture

Today I read about an Antichrist he jumped from a 33 story building to did death.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:39 | 4375197 Croesus
Croesus's picture

@ Laws of Physics: 

You raise a valid point, good sir! 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:09 | 4375044 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Or keeps falling from the sky (at least in the financial districts).

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:07 | 4374787 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Are we seeing little pieces of a war?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:30 | 4375155 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Heeeeey!  No fair!  WE want to hang them, not see them all do it themselves.  I mean, I'm still ok with them meeting their maker, but save a few for us!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:10 | 4374533 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

love the sound a bankster makes when hitting the pavement at a high velocity

 

sounds like......JUSTICE!!!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:01 | 4374756 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

I was thinking it sounded like a big bag of wet oatmeal.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:31 | 4375159 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Or toddlers giggling

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:13 | 4374536 WarPony
WarPony's picture

This window is safe - trust me - I'll show you.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:12 | 4374539 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Jumped, or pushed?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:12 | 4374541 BiteMeBO
BiteMeBO's picture

Nothing to see here, get back to fleecing the sheeple.  

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:15 | 4374544 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Dead men don't talk.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:21 | 4374558 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Wait.. what? 

So the guy jumped after he already 'fell' and landed on the 9th floor?  Swatit said. Maybe landing on the 9th floor just disoriented him. 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:25 | 4374572 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Q: What do you call a JPM banker who 'jumps' from the 33rd floor?

 

Answers heard on the street:

1. Who cares

2. A Whistleblower

3. Ahead of the curve

 

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:29 | 4374593 Reader1
Reader1's picture

A good start!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:27 | 4374578 giggler321
giggler321's picture

They say it's sad but will that change when they find out what the guy has done?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:28 | 4374587 Reader1
Reader1's picture

So long sad times, go long bad times
We are rid of you at last
Howdy gay times, cloudy gray times
You are now a thing of the past

Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
So lets sing a song of cheer again
Happy days are here again

Altogether, shout it now, theres no one
Who can doubt it now
So lets tell the world about it now
Happy days are here again

Your cares and troubles are gone
Therell be no more from now on, from now on

Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
So lets sing a song of cheer again
Happy times, happy nights
Happy days are here again!

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:29 | 4374589 muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

He was ordered to listen to Obama speak this evening and it would be a fate worse than death for anybody, so he chose wisely.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:32 | 4374609 Reader1
Reader1's picture

Oh My God!  The bankers are infected with rage!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:32 | 4374616 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

 

TATA MOTORS exec. Karl Slym dies in fall from hotel 

 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/01/26/us-tatamotors-md-idUSBREA0P0GH...

 

....I wonder where Al Gore and Elon Musk were on that evening?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:32 | 4374620 youngman
youngman's picture

Must have not gotten the job with FoxxConn.....

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:36 | 4374632 booboo
booboo's picture

So......whales can't fly??

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:35 | 4374635 A. Buttle
A. Buttle's picture

HoochimammaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaSplat!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:37 | 4374645 Reader1
Reader1's picture

Make him fly, mommy!  I want to see the bad man fly!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:38 | 4374647 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

EmilyB, no one has touched the body because they don't want to get sick from touching a banker. They do handle money all day you know...

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:40 | 4374655 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

Hoping it was Jamie.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:41 | 4374659 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Was he pushed? Did he know something he shouldn't? Or was his Golden Parachute too heavy? At any rate, Sir Isaac Newton was right; Gravity is a bitch. Another dead Banker. BRILLIANT!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:43 | 4374671 JailBanksters
JailBanksters's picture

Hoping these ef'ers will all jump just isn't going to happen.

The only way it's going to happen, is we going to have to force them. Hanging a $100 dollar out the window might work for a few but for the most we are going to need a lot of BFG's

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:53 | 4374721 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

BFG's???? Big Fat Girls????

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:47 | 4374935 Reader1
Reader1's picture

Big F'n Guns?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:18 | 4375946 the0ther
the0ther's picture

Ball-less Farty Gays?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:19 | 4375947 the0ther
the0ther's picture

Ball-less Farty Gays?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:43 | 4374672 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

...and that's why he's deader than you.

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:45 | 4374681 22winmag
22winmag's picture

At least the two guys in the article went out with some degree of honor.

 

The rest of the pack is going to have to be dragged kicking and screaming from their homes and offices and lynched in the public square.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:48 | 4374689 Spectre
Spectre's picture

Cowards way out of short term problems given the long term remedy.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:48 | 4374695 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I wonder who he will turn out to be?

Okay, I am every bit of a shit as the next poster here. My proof below:

He heard about Obama's executive order to raise government workers minimum wage to $10.10. The economy will go into the crapper now and so will his career. Might as well jump!

Van Halen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlq0lYB3iSM

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:48 | 4374932 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Come on MsC, bankrupt companies give their employees raises everyday !!!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:48 | 4374696 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Well, there's a step in the right direction.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:51 | 4374708 T-NUTZ
T-NUTZ's picture

he either knew too much, or too little

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:53 | 4374722 The Reich
The Reich's picture

and William Broeksmit of Deutsche found strangled in London, too.

 

1 is an accident

2 is a trend

3 is truly service-oriented 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:56 | 4374731 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Did you know that rats display empathy? Oh well this wasn't Dimond, just some low level guy with some kind of problems he couldn't work out.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:57 | 4374736 SystemOfaDrown
SystemOfaDrown's picture

Are some middle-level insiders being taken out?
Need to identify titles and job positions of these two recently decease.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 09:59 | 4374750 Catfish
Catfish's picture

Sounds like someone needs to consult with Foxconn on the proper placement of suicide nets.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:01 | 4374759 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

It's about time these fuckers felt some real consequences.  One down, so many more to go...

Too bad it wasn't Jamie...

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:50 | 4375238 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

With all due respect to bankers:

What do you call one dead banker on the sidewalk, 33 stories below his building?  A very weak start.

Bankers have raped their way to "success".  Corrupting the system to enrich themselves, creating very, very little.  The ATM, which was invented by engineers, is likely their greatest conritbution to society.....By hook or crook, entropy will return their ill-gotten gains.

This is neither a threat, nor boasting, just a historical observation.  In the parlance of a margerine commercial, "it is not nice to fool with mother nature." 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:02 | 4374762 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Uh-oh. 

Reports coming in now that London police are painting yellow silhouettes of men on the pavement all around the building.....

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 11:48 | 4375236 monad
monad's picture

If there were enough British men left on 1984 Island they'd be painting Xs, circular targets, and bets.

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:04 | 4374774 mijev
mijev's picture

To paraphrase an oldie, "if someone pushed ben and jamie off the top of a 33 storey building at the same time, which one would hit the ground first?"

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:09 | 4374791 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Rehypothecated.

 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:18 | 4374813 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

"London Air Ambulance attended but they could not save the man."

I just love the Captain Obvious reporting that takes place so often with news stories. It's about as fucking stupid as the 100 warnings on the package of anything you buy anymoar. 

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 10:34 | 4374874 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

London Air Ambulance arrived on the scene two hours after the man went splat but could not save him. lulz

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