Obama Introduces MyRA: The "No Risk, Guaranteed Return" Retirement Savings Bond

Tyler Durden's picture


Earlier today we hinted at what was coming in "Obama To Unveil Treasury IRAs." Well, here it is, and it even has a catchy name. Presenting: the MyRA, and since it offers "guaranteed return and no risk" we now know where all the Fed's bond trades will go to work once QE ends.

From the president:

Let’s do more to help Americans save for retirement. Today, most workers don’t have a pension. A Social Security check often isn’t enough on its own. And while the stock market has doubled over the last five years, that doesn’t help folks who don’t have 401ks. That’s why, tomorrow, I will direct the Treasury to create a new way for working Americans to start their own retirement savings: MyRA. It’s a new savings bond that encourages folks to build a nest egg. MyRA guarantees a decent return with no risk of losing what you put in. And if this Congress wants to help, work with me to fix an upside-down tax code that gives big tax breaks to help the wealthy save, but does little to nothing for middle-class Americans. Offer every American access to an automatic IRA on the job, so they can save at work just like everyone in this chamber can...


Or put another way - if you like your retirement account you can keep your retirement account.

And just like that, the "automatic" continuity to the Fed's Quantitative Easing is ensured.

One final point: in the aftermath of the demonstration that the market is run by absolute idiots, courtesy of TWTRQ and NEST, we fully expect that tomorrow Myriad Entertainment & Resorts, stock ticker MYRA, trading at a lofty price of $0.00, will soar tomorrow to, what else, Obama's target price of $10.10.

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Tue, 01/28/2014 - 23:34 | 4378342 putaipan
putaipan's picture

and it's gone!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 23:36 | 4378360 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

No risk ... we'll see about that !

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 23:39 | 4378368 Jack's Digestib...
Jack's Digestible Ideas's picture

No risk = bullshit, 100% of the time. That's sort of what being human is all about, being able to properly assess risk. Too bad that flies in the face of TPTB, so we can't have risk anymore.

Believe what we tell you! We didn't teach you any differently, why are you pulling out a guillotine?

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 23:42 | 4378390 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

My  federal employee neighbors all have 125k pensions waiting for them at 53 and free healthcare for life....Me....I gots me a Myra....what's got 2 thumbs and a Myra??? Thiiis guy!!!! Ehhhhh!!!

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 23:49 | 4378408 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Look at the bright side; they're going to use the Obamacare web platform for enrollment.


I wish politicians would stop thinking about trying to solve our problems!  

Ugh,... never mind.



Tue, 01/28/2014 - 23:54 | 4378454 WayBehind
WayBehind's picture

No risk of losing what you put in ... I believe that ... it will just be worthless in 20 years ...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 00:07 | 4378510 knukles
knukles's picture


Thats in violation of SEC regs.
Preselling before the deal is structured
Saying there's no risk of loss when we don't know so, yet.
And in any case there is no risk for that's an absolute staement in a viod


Violating SEC regulatons

Calling Harvey Pitt...
New client to defend against the SEC's kangaroo courts

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 00:10 | 4378519 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Shit is wack!


They need a new ponzi to replace the old ponzi that's still trying to keep the original ponzi going.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 00:25 | 4378560 strannick
strannick's picture

MYRA. A new way for working Americans to support the pork-barrel schemes of non-working government politicians.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 00:35 | 4378570 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 00:56 | 4378593 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

George Carlin on MyRA:


"They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin’ years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. And now they’re coming for your Social Security money. THEY WANT YOUR FUCKIN' RETIREMENT MONEY. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. And you know something? THEY'LL GET IT. They’ll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this fuckin' place. It’s a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in the big club. ...The table is tilted, folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. ...And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth. It’s called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it."

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 01:10 | 4378644 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Perfect, thanks.

Fuck him and all the other politicians and Wall Street wankers and the hounds from Hell they rode in on.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 01:49 | 4378721 strannick
strannick's picture

Once the sales of the Bond-Ponzi (Bondzi Scheme?) has slid down the pyramid's slope from Bill Gross, to the point where its being flogged to ''working Americans'', chances are the jig is up.

Whatching that shill Obama pitch it with a straight face, as though he was flogging worthless bonds for the sake of working Americans as opposed to helping them be unloaded by shirking bankers, is priceless. Portraits in Disembling

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 02:02 | 4378742 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

Just got one thing to say: Michelle is one ugly ass ho.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 06:50 | 4379016 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




We are 5 daze away from totally transforming your retirement.


You'll have to go back to work.....but other than that you're gonna love it.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 08:32 | 4379113 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Should work as well as that piece of shit health care plan worked....  Gee Barry- you forget about that turd already?

All the speech proved is that Barry really IS clueless about finance-  thank God he has Joe Bob to back him up.....

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:50 | 4379327 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Let's see. 

1. UST bond prices are at multi-decade highs.

2. The POTUS says that the general populace of the US should invest their retirement savings in UST bonds now.


a. Traditional buyers of UST must not be buying enough, and there are really big problems brewing.

b. President is either evil or clueless.

Thu, 01/30/2014 - 01:12 | 4383245 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

I'll try to get a word in, here,

I ran across a Youtube video by 'DABOO 7', that talks about the fact that Obama is asking (forcing) all retirement accounts by 'certain sectors' (government employees and other suckers that can still be conned) in to investiture in the debt instruments called 'MyRA's' (READ, MY IRA SHIT, you stupis sheoples!).

It is cross-linked by 'Investment Watch', that seems to be now linking Zero Hedge articles.

I saw the 'screen shot' and recognized the fonts (the 'RanSquawk' thingie on the right-hand side is absolutely telling!).

Gee, 'eclectic', what gave you the FIRST CLUE?

'A' is the OBVIOUS, IN-YOUR-FACE answer (but this has been so for, well, ever since 9/10/2001...).




Many lurkers, and now, some linkers as well, I see.


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 08:12 | 4379116 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Either that, or they'll transform retirement into retirement, as used by the Tyrrell Corporation in Bladerunner.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:21 | 4379205 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. And you have burned so very very brightly - Ezekiel (Tyrrell) Emanuel

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:42 | 4379291 Upswaller
Upswaller's picture

"Under my plan, returns will necessarily skyrocket."

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:54 | 4379343 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

At least she isn't in a state of constant drug stupor like the last First Lady. And the next First Lady won't even be a lady, unless slick willy puts on a dress.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 01:18 | 4378657 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

I'm going to learn this until I can recite it verbatim. Then, I'm inviting each and every one of my programed serf friends over to a BBQ and start a conversation rolling. 

PS Edit: I can just imagine the rollout of this next hare-brained Obama scheme. I wonder if he actually knows much about the infastructure. Probably just as much as Obama Care. 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 01:23 | 4378675 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Smart enough to do the job and dumb enough to take it...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 02:35 | 4378790 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

(^ link to the George Carlin speech on youtube)

OT, for some reason this didn't get much circulation..


"they want more for themselves and less for everybody else"

Yep, that about sums it up!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:20 | 4379448 Beatscape
Beatscape's picture

Thanks for posting this.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 03:57 | 4378884 capitallosses
capitallosses's picture

You've got your fiats and you can keep your fiats!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:51 | 4379331 superflex
superflex's picture

The FSA deserves this.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 04:19 | 4378896 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Heaven or hell, I want to go where Carlin, and Pryor, went.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 05:08 | 4378934 new game
new game's picture

the cocksucking motherfucking bastards...

(o,533 others and most of tptb)

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 05:13 | 4378940 Cap Matifou
Cap Matifou's picture

RIP, George

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 08:05 | 4379110 Freegold
Freegold's picture

George Carlin RIP, a straight forward man :)

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 12:03 | 4379932 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture


I think we'd all be well served to mail that to EVERY elected representative.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:16 | 4381912 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Now where is that Bolshevik Chindit13 to state something seemingly intelligent and slam Carlin for being negative?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:02 | 4379618 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

if you like your retirement account you can keep your retirement account. PERIOD!!!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 04:16 | 4378892 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

MyRA = Scam-Wow

"Absorbent enough to soak up every last cent! But wait, there's more..."

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:53 | 4379332 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

MyRA = My Reamed Ass

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 08:37 | 4379157 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

They are switching government employees to bonds already without them knowing.  Now they are setting the stage to switch everyone's IRA to govt bonds.  They will do what it takes to protect their system.


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 00:36 | 4378574 CognacAndMencken
CognacAndMencken's picture

Forcing people to save for retirement is impossible in a country where 50% (or more) of the population is completely incapable of taking care of themselves.

More facts about the American South:

According to the U.S. Census Bureau's state-by-state ranking of adults with high school degrees, eight of the bottom ten states are in the South (counting Texas), with residents of Mississippi and Texas “leading” the least-educated pack.

Why is the South so stupid? It's become such a drag on this country. Until the South is forced to secede from the union, America will always remain a place where the few must care for the many.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 00:47 | 4378596 Andre
Andre's picture

I guess you haven't heard about Kalifornia...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 01:29 | 4378686 mbutler101
mbutler101's picture

we maybe whacked out of our minds out here, but without California, you're dinner plate is going to look pretty thin, to wit: http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/explainer/2013/07/calif...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 02:04 | 4378746 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

I think this new gov't thieving program is called "MyAGRA" because it's all heading for the falls.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 07:20 | 4379035 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



without California, you're dinner plate is going to look pretty thin


Pretty sure anyone in Kansas is going to be just fine.....pretty much goes the same for the rest of Flyover Country.


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:16 | 4379658 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

With California producing 50-100% of a huge number of produce items for the us, yeah Mr downvote is right.  Not a fan of leftist Slate, but it is what it is:


Pomegranates: 100% 
Artichokes: 99% 
Kiwi: 97% 
Olives: 96% 
Figs: 96% 
Pluots: 95% 
Plums and Prunes: 94% 
Brussel Sprouts: 93% 
Avocados: 90% 
Nectarines: 89% 
Garlic: 85% 
Celery: 83% 
Grapes: 83% 
Dates: 82% 
Apricots: 82% 
Cauliflower: 82% 
Broccoli: 81% 
Lemons: 79% 
Persimmons: 77% 
Honeydew: 77% 
Tomatoes: 76% 
Lettuce: 73% 
Nuts: 65% 
Carrots: 62% 
Strawberries: 59% 
Spinach: 59% 
Tangerines: 58% 
Chinese Cabbage: 49% 
Asparagus: 47% 
Cantaloupes: 46% 
Peaches: 44% 
Limes: 42% 
Non-Valencia Oranges: 37%


Granted some of those items I NEVER use.  But lettuce, carrots, celery.. yeah other States produce some too.  But of 70-90% of a crop disappear, are you going to want to pay a significant amount more for flyover-lettuce?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 12:18 | 4379998 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

Other States could immediately pick up the slack.....

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 02:29 | 4378781 mumcard
mumcard's picture

If only the South could be made agriculturally productive...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 03:27 | 4378852 James
James's picture

If only the South could be made agriculturally productive...



It can from the technique of Aquaculture.

You'll be hearing about this more as you eliminate the oil cost of fertiliser, heavy machines, land cost, excessive depletion of water wells and still end up w/ crap food.


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 03:56 | 4378885 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Do you mean "aquaponics?"  'Cause there is a difference.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 06:59 | 4379019 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Forget it.....he's babbling.


When he gets up to speed.....he'll start rolling.


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