This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
The Thinking & Drinking Man's Guide To The State Of The Union
Over the past couple of hundred years, the State of the Union has been enjoyed by pamphlet, radio, TV, and webcast and each and every year, the citizenry has sat avidly awaiting their 'word' to come up on SOTU Bingo or for the bets they made on the average length to be confirmed. So while the drinking and gambling man has plenty to do; it is perhaps dismal to report that the thinking man will be under-utlized. Sadly, the State of the Union speech has been getting dumber and dumber.
State Of The Union Speech is getting dumbererer...
Since James Madison's 1815 Address, the 'linguistic standard' of the State of the Union speech has plunged. As The Guardian noted last year, the lowest on record was George H.W. Bush's 1992 address - only just beating Obama's 2011 address for 'dumbest' speech ever. Whether this is representative of the American people as a whole or the lowest common denominator is unclear... Dumb and dumber indeed...
Using the Flesch-Kincaid readability test the Guardian has tracked the reading level of every state of the union
and the Top 20 (or Bottom 20 we guess) Lowest average readability test scores for the Presidents...
And while the President will discuss Inequality in depth, it would seem the "poor" have not been commented on much since the 80s...
And "Jobs" and "Hope" remain low...
So - on that note, it's time to drink...
Via @GenOpportunity
and the thinking and drinking man's game...
The general rules of this game are no different from any other drinking game. A drink is either a shot or a good gulp from a beer (or cider). Different events call for different numbers of drinks and all you do is watch the speech and play along. If all goes well, you'll be unconscious by the time they show the other party's response.
via DrinkingGame.us
and if you want to play along with the kids... SOTU Bingo!
Enjoy... full live webcast to follow...
»
- 16671 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
drooling & moaning out the SOTU coming right up
Yes we scam!
Play the drinking game with the word "I"
You'll be incapacitated within 3 minutes.
CHECK THIS OUT! A clip of tonight's SOTU TV performance has been leaked!:
http://youtu.be/Y7hyUucbmj4
Or just get baked during the whole damn speech...
Can we talk about how people get dumber and dumber?
huh?
/blank stare
I have real work to do in the morning. I'll take a pass on the drinking (ok, 2 shots of Tequila, no more) and definitely take a pass on the speech. Somehow, I bet I've heard it before anyway.
:/ Shit...I have to do pretend work in the morning. But I had a 8.8% beer, a 7.5%, and 2 5.0% beers. So I guess I'm fucked.
Anyway, this article makes me depressed, because it seems to be implying that the speeches are getting dumber, but if you bother to fucking research what the scores actually mean you learn that a lower score actually indicates it takes a more educated person to understand the speech.
Just another bias leaning article here at ZH. I don't know what the bias is supposed to be, but fuck if it isn't there.
HEY BUNZ!@#!@# WANT SOME FREE BITCOINS!?!@?#!@# Get some free bitcoins at http://freebitco.in/?r=25727.
Yes. I am this much of a douchebag, loser, waste of space. I had to comment on the idiocy of this article, yet I also want to refer people to this website to get some free fake money, so that I can get some free fake money. The more free fake money I have, the better I feel. The better I feel, the better I fuck. The better I fuck, the better I feel. Cyclical continuance until death. And balls.
I wanna know when I get to spit out my drink at those around me.
Maybe when he says "We're in this together" or "In the spirit of fairness"...
Hang on, I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Wait, it hasn't started yet?
My bad.
Folks...2 shots
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PybtBKSAtLM
the only sound i'll hear out of this crypto-janitor's teleprompter will be the whine of the floor buffer
There isn't enough alcohol on the planet for this game.
Ted nugget is gonna take a pounding from the Dork dynasty team tonight baby!
I really wish somebody would scream out "You Kenyan Communist Mother Fuckin Liar". Oh...hold on....he is raising minimun wage to $10.10 for some...hold on, I may get a raise?
.
Great commentary live...
http://www.infowars.com/watch-alex-jones-show
Alex Jones makes me want to live in Orwells 1984. He is Room 101.
What's the over/under on him saying he killed Osama?
Not much. Given all the leaks, that is not in the content. In fact, there are so many leaks is not the speech already over?
Drinking games were fun. But I no longer imbibe. I'm too old. My favorite was the Spartacus drinking game. You had to take a drink every time a character said, "By Jupiter's cock."
I heard that if you turn down the sound during the SOTU and play Dark Side of The Moon instead, not only does it sync up amazingly but the President and members of Congress all start to resemble characters from The Wizard of Oz. The REALLY weird part is how Obama and TOTUS bear a striking resemblance to Dorothy and Toto...go figure!
And Pelosi should probably leave her broom at home and wear a raincoat tonight...
-Speak to Me (aka the NSA anthem)
-Breathe (O discusses things we can look at to increase tax revenues in America)
-On the Run (discussion about Jon Corzine)
-Time (O discusses FEMA re-education camps)
-The Great Gig in the Sky (O discusses the only difference between him and God) (hint: God doesn't believe He's President)
-Money (O says goodbye Bernanke hello Yellen)
-Us and Them (aka the TSA anthem)
-Any Colour You Like (discussion about racism & people who don't support Obama)
-Brain Damage (Obama's hat tip to Joe Biden)
-Eclipse (O discusses things caused by humans that are more taxable than global warming or climate change)
It's just a little pin prick,
You may feel a little sick.
Obama = Dorothy? Ahhh, I see what you did there...!
Turn down the sound during the SOTU and play Dark Side of The Moon is the only way you will hear anything exceptional. I can't help but notice that the first mention of 'poor' in a SOTU came around the first issue of greenbacks, and the first mention of 'jobs' came shortly after the creation of the fed.
Most excellent!
Ladies and Gentlemen....President Camacho!
state of the former union address
Dear God,
there.
I like this. The state of WHAT union? There is the union of the political elite class and their corporate quisling acolytes and then there is the union of, well, everyone else.
State of the Police State Address.
A good citizen does not argue.
"We still have work to do..." Throw the TeeVee out the window.
Obomber's presidency ended long ago - the calendar just hasn't caught up. Every speech is anew drinking game with the same rehashed bullshit and lies.
Chinese translation = State of the Ruinion = Apropo
Dictator of the Union Address! All is well! All your IRAs are belong to us!
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
fat drunk stupid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1hnwvWhbJw (0:26)
When listening to Obama or the Repub SOTU, remember this --
Most politicians define the truth as whatever they can get people to believe.
But only the people who don't know how to be identify the truth will believe.
...which is more than enough votes!
Looks like a funeral to me
You forgot one major item for the drinking game.
Everytime oShitHead says "I" -- drink.
Of course you would be out cold in 15minutes but hey, that way you wont have to listen to the rest of it
If TOTUS says " Evil Republicans or Tea Party", guzzle the whole bottle.
Drink enough and you can sing along at the top of your lungs (preferably somewhere in DC, close to a microphone):
Blood rains down from an angry sky,
My cock rages on, my cock rages on.
I put you down, I give no shit.
I piss on your grave for the sport of it.
When I die, I expect no less!
My mind is gone, my cock rages on!
Ms. Erable.."my cock rages on"? Are you one of them chicks with dicks?
If so, that's cool. If not, I'm confused by your poetry/avatar.
Screen name is a state of mind, not some social statement; I'm just another grumpy ol' man.
With a raging cock.
Count yourself lucky, mine is starting to fumble in the red zone...
"...the State of the Union speech has been getting dumber and dumber."
This is a symptom of the culture in general and not a specific cause. The cause is the public indoctrination system also known as education.
I am drinking on "minimum wage", "fair", "Russia" and "Bieber".
Cat - you will be drunk in 15 minutews on Fair and Wage alone. Better call in sick now.
I'm drinking every time POTUS looks at the teleprompter
I have been drinking all day... who the f$#@ hit the underscore?
Drinking.................???....!!!! Let's take out Jove. So we can assume that that George Washington has a 20.00 if we extrapolate backwards from Woodrow Wilson?
Happy Birthday Tyler.
Isn't there a bullet with his name on it somewhere?
There's got to be!
Respect your flat screen!
Lock your guns and ammo.
As long as I get more Free Shit...I am all in. I am typing this from my Free Obama phone, sitting in the fully subsidized apartment waiting for my girlfriend (Mother of my 6 children, we can't get married because of loss of benefits) to get back from Costco with $800 in good eats. MMMMMM Steak again baby.
Rich...poor...up...down...speech...dumb...president...dumber...who...what...why...when?
What's on TV?...droollll...
Distractions distractions distractions!
After that load of borscht, let this be the gentleman's post dinner fireside listening pleasure.:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYotsx1wZWA
Self analysis reveals a severe case of who gives a rats arse what the head-puppet usurper says, and after some time of chronic conditioning to this healing, these speeches and pontifications tend to ride on by and not even be noticed or heard.
Now, how about that Benghazi probe heating up? How about the crashing banks? How about all them criminals and corrupted politicians being tried and dutifully punished for the High Crimes committed against the world?
Distractions distractions distractions!!
And, how about that globalist controlled china gearing up to go to war with America from within, and without? Does this war stuff always begin in the temple fighting over the money god?
Meanwhile...fukushima bleeds death daily and the upward trending measurements of the peoples Geiger counter Army are rising...rising...rising!
Asia and North America are both being bombarded by radiation. War will finish the people off, before the radiation from fukushima will, both at a fast pace full steam ahead.
Distractions distractions distractions!!!
Instead of the usual signer, Beyoncé and Jay Zee will be doing an interpretive dance of his speech. At the penultimate moment, Lorde will sing "You are Royal!"
Guess I'm not gong to work tomorrow. Good thing he puts me out faster than ......
ring...ring..."Hello?"
Me: Hey boss man, I can't make it today, sick as a dog.
Boss: "Ok. See you day after tomorrow. Just curious - how sick?"
Me: SOTU last night, accidentally watched 30 seconds, still barfing.
Boss: "Poor bastard. Go ahead and take off two days."
For a group of people that get nothing done, this group of Congresspeople seem really chummy with each other.
It's all one big circle jerk. Everyone inside the beltway in DC is on the government tit and are milking it for all it's worth.
Cool link to watch this...
Live...
http://www.infowars.com/watch-alex-jones-show
Gracias take!
For a group of people that get nothing done, this group of Congresspeople seem really chummy with each other. ...... Yes, I was cheating and drinking ahead of the game. Apologies to all. I was drinking on the feeling of disbelief.
All Hail The Wookie
When to they introduce Jamie?
U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-A.
Is it over already?
I was really hoping to get shit faced drunk, pull my pants down and show the Turd In Chief my dark side of the moon.
The alex jones feed is actually interesting
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
err.....I think
But I did love the red carpet show, and his praise of mershell.
I'm glad I'm not listening. My liver will thank me later ;)
hopefully, much much later than you think.
LMAO!
"The next great American discovery."
You mean the Constitution...again!
CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The president just said he is setting new standard for our trucks!
Cuz, you know, that is his responsiblity. Says so right there in article I, section VIII: The president (aka w/be despot) tells citizens what to do with their business! Cuz, you know, people can clap!
I was hoping, in a moment of futility, someone would ask "Mr. President, why did you spend millions of dollars sealing all your records?". Someone may have, but the applause at the death of the Republic drowned it out.
Tyler, you had me at "The Thinking & Drinking Man's Guide To..."
Lord knows, the more we drink, the better we think: "I drink, therefore I am*". [hick, hick.]
* Rene Descartes' unknown brother.
Did you notice something about that chart on the Flesch-Kincaid reading level of the SOTU? Ever since 1840 the level has been proceeding down. This is also when public education became mandatory in our country. Coincidence? I think not!
Oh and by the way, where was the trained seal to clap and honk it's horn for the Obama-man? NSA can you supply the answer?