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And The Biggest "Winner" From The 2014 Emerging Market Crisis Is...

Tyler Durden's picture





 

While the world may be reeling in the aftermath of a horrible week for markets, which following today's largely expected $10 billion additional taper announcement, is only set to get worse (because, oops, the global economy turned out to not be in escape velocity mode as everyone simply confused the artificial level of the S&P 500 with economic output, as usual), one entity is delighted by the recent surge in volatility and market uncertainty: CNBC.

The financial station which most had left for dead after an abysmal 2013, and an end to the year in which the Comcast-owned network barely had 30K viewers in its prime 25-54 demographics (which might explain the male incontinence diaper advertisements), managed to stage a remarkable come back and saw both its broad and target demo audiences post increases (from 113K to 134K for P2+, from 34K to 45K in 25-54). Well, maybe not "remarkable" per se: we use the term loosely. Charting the Nielsen data, here is how CNBC looks as of right now.

Yeah, in retrospect, definitely not remarkable.

Then again, it is distinctly possible that the January pick up is simply seasonal following a sleepy end to the year in which absolutely nothing was allowed to go wrong. As a result, it goes without saying that the correct metric to look at is year over year change. It is here sadly, that not even CNBC is able to score any brownie points with its advertisers: the January 2014 P2+ audience dropped by 21% from 2013, while the 25-54 demo was off by 18%.

Of course: the best way to test a thesis that market volatility is actually good for the permabullish channel is to have vol continue soaring, and if possible send the VIX over 80 a la Lehman: after all who could withstand the sight of Bob Pisani explaining a 50% market drop whily crying.. If not even that manages to boost CNBC viewership to prior year levels, forget its 2007 heyday, then Comcast may as well pull the plug.

 


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Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:31 | Link to Comment syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

More people browse ZH than watch CNBC.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:31 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

More like the only people who watch CNBC are ZH readers. No one else seems to care about CNBC anymore. I think they just watch it to confirm their biases at this point.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:37 | Link to Comment Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Actually, the biggest winner is MyRA.

Up 900% this morning:

http://www.google.com/finance?q=OTCMKTS%3AMYRA&ei=7UjpUrDbBsWUiALAhQE

[maybe I'll buy a few thousand shares with my pocket change just for fun...]

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:53 | Link to Comment Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

DONE!

Just bought me a lottery ticket in MyRA! (Brokerage fees exceeded the value of the stock I purchased... LOL!)

[Banking on all the idiots who will be attempting to invest in Obama's safety helmet Retirement Account...]

 Makes about as much sense as any other investment thesis in this psychotic 'market.'

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:53 | Link to Comment Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

If CNBC employed moar hot anchor women with serious cleavage exposure, I might watch -- but I would still keep the volume on "mute"

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 20:00 | Link to Comment Rukeysers Ghost
Rukeysers Ghost's picture

Joe Kernan has moobs. Does that count?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:36 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Painfully, I tune in once in a while so I am assured what I know to be the meme pushed for the day.

Sometimes Mrs K has to administer smelling salts to bring me back.  She also frequently reminds me that the Xanax and Ativan prescriptions say one tablet once a day, not multiple handfuls as desired...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:46 | Link to Comment Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Mrs Oaf gets tired of my nightly ambien multi-pill extravaganza.

I usually look at her funny because I can't remember what I did. 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:52 | Link to Comment Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

I lose brain cells every time Michelle Caruso tries to tell me something.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:00 | Link to Comment Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

Never gets old:

"I feel that by having CNBC on I have my pulse on the bottom 20% of the gene pool."  -- Rudolf E. Havenstein@RudyHavenstein  

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:32 | Link to Comment GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Thats daily vs. monthly

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:33 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Never Ever Confuse "Stocks as a Efficient Discounter of Future Economic Activity" with the Simple Fucking Reality of Markets Responding to Excess Liquidity"

Wondering how come that never made a CFA exam question?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:45 | Link to Comment Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

It was in the Ethics section under misrepresentation.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:34 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Of all the used-up, dirty, lying, good-for-nothing douche bags, Jim Cramer is my favorite, especially when he wears his foreskin pink shirt and vein-blue necktie.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:36 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Oh my....

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:45 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

My bad.  Steve Liesman was the one that looked like a fat little cock with a smile when he would wear the foreskin pink shirts and vein-blue neckties.  Cramer just wears more makeup than a two-bit whore on the first friday of the month.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:46 | Link to Comment Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

+1 for colorful language

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:50 | Link to Comment maskone909
maskone909's picture

i start to lose it when i hear crammers manic garbled up rhetoric.  must drive the producers crazy! "Is he reading from the script? I cant understand a fucking thing this coke head is saying!"

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:46 | Link to Comment Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

there goes breakfast!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:35 | Link to Comment Peter K
Peter K's picture

Rick Santelli goes over to Fox Bus, and as far as the rest? Good ridence to bad rubbish, I say. :)

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:52 | Link to Comment jtz5
jtz5's picture

Especially that douchebag Joe Kernan...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:35 | Link to Comment The Wisp
The Wisp's picture

What is CNBC never heard of it..

 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

It does disappear after a long course of anti biotics.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:44 | Link to Comment johnvallo
johnvallo's picture

I could be wrong, but I believe it's an old, wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:47 | Link to Comment syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

It's the background noise you'll hear in a Scottrade office.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:38 | Link to Comment youngman
youngman's picture

I think they try to take a difficult subject...investments...economics and try to stuff it in a 30 second sound bite....it does not work...you need to get more detailed in your presentation...they just do the headline numbers...ZH digs into the meat of the statistics....

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:39 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

cnbc = mouthpiece for the maggots

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:41 | Link to Comment DOT
DOT's picture

Parents, if your child mis-behaves, require them to watch CNBC for 10 mins.

Remember to keep the sound turned off or you may be suject to charges of child abuse.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:41 | Link to Comment maskone909
maskone909's picture

So after we get a tidalwave of emerging market defaults and drainage of current accounts, how long untill they seize the opportunity to slam gold?  anyone remember what happened to PM prices when india had to put its gold up for collateral?  this is all scripted.  a ploy to snatch up the gold and hammer those prices.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:40 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Oh shit!  You mean my retirement might not be safe?!?!  I'd better tune in to CNBC so they can tell me 'everything is under control' and the 'now is the time to buy'!"

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:41 | Link to Comment Cursive
Cursive's picture

As a society, we will have turned the corner when Cramer is in jail and CNBC is off air.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:56 | Link to Comment Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Then how will we know what he's buying?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:47 | Link to Comment vyeung
vyeung's picture

CNBC = propagate garbage

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:46 | Link to Comment Fiat Burner
Fiat Burner's picture

Death to mainstream media.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:47 | Link to Comment FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Everyone tuning in to see if that MyRA thing is a buy or not. Jim will let us know.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:52 | Link to Comment TrustbutVerify
TrustbutVerify's picture

Less Cramer. More Pisani and Santelli. 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:23 | Link to Comment DavrosoftheDaleks
DavrosoftheDaleks's picture

Just make it Santelli Business News please. 

Pisani just summarizes the WSJ headlines of the day, plus has the dude ever asked a hard question to anyone.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 14:59 | Link to Comment Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

I want Bill Griffiths job. Work 1 hour a day and get paid $200k to tell us where the Dow is every 5 minutes

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:02 | Link to Comment Spungo
Spungo's picture

Who watches CNBC you ask? I would think smart investors do. My dad would watch that channel all damn day. According to him, you could become wealthy just by doing the exact opposite of what they say. When the stock market is up, nobody wants to talk about how it will go down. CNBC saying how great things are doing means a pullback is coming. When they start talking about how horrible the markets are, that's when it's time to buy. My dad would say with a big smile "there was blood in the streets today!" then start talking about all of these stocks he bought or was getting ready to buy.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:15 | Link to Comment Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Tyler, it's time to put the ZH where the Money is: 

Get Comcast to swap CNBC with ZH.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:21 | Link to Comment gunsmoke011
gunsmoke011's picture

That is because they provide such insightful analysis - ike that which they just provided about the drop in labor participation rate. While many though - myslef included - that the drop was due to jobs vanishing and idiots not having the skill set to do the jobs -- we learn that it is all due to Bernanke successfully reviving the wealth effect - so that those with 401K's are all retiring early and are no longer in the work force. Comforting isn't it.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:52 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Cramer should have had a part in the Wolf of Wall Street movie. Rag merchant trade is in his DNA.

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