Hilsenrath's 729 Word FOMC Post-Mortem (In Under 2 Minutes)

Tyler Durden's picture


It took Hilsenrath 2 minutes after the FOMC announcement to release the following 729 word analysis of what Bernanke just did. The punchline: "Overall, the Fed changed very little in its statement from the previous month. Neither a disappointing December jobs report nor recent turmoil in emerging markets was enough to diminish their positive outlook for the U.S. economy. The Fed reiterated their view that "risks to the outlook for the economy and the labor market as having become more balanced," language they added to the statement for the first time in December.... The Fed repeated its message that they will likely keep rates at
that low level "well past" the unemployment rate reaching 6.5%.

Fed to Further Cut Bond-Buying Program


The Federal Reserve said it would further pare its signature bond-buying program next month, a move that solidifies the central bank's strategy for winding down the program in small steps at each of its meetings as long as the economy continues to improve.


The Fed's policy-making committee said in a statement Wednesday that it would trim its bond purchases to $65 billion per month in February, from a monthly pace of $75 billion in January.


The decision to pull back on the bond program was unanimous, marking the first time there wasn't a dissent at a policy meeting since June 2011.




The central bank announced it would start scaling back the program following its Dec. 17-18 meeting, and made the first $10 billion cut in January. At the time, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke strongly suggested the Fed's preference was to whittle down its bond buying by $10 billion at each of its policy meetings this year, wrapping up the program altogether near the end of the year.




Overall, the Fed changed very little in its statement from the previous month. Neither a disappointing December jobs report nor recent turmoil in emerging markets was enough to diminish their positive outlook for the U.S. economy. The Fed reiterated their view that "risks to the outlook for the economy and the labor market as having become more balanced," language they added to the statement for the first time in December.



All ten members of the Fed's policy-making committee supported the decision to continue scaling back the bond-buying program.


The Fed also voted to keep short-term interest rates pinned near zero, where they've been since late 2008. The Fed repeated its message that they will likely keep rates at that low level "well past" the unemployment rate reaching 6.5%. The Fed earlier set that as the threshold at which it will start considering raising rates, as long as inflation remains in check.


The Fed also extended an experimental program which it could someday use to manage short-term interest rates. Known as a "reverse repo" facility, the program uses the Fed's portfolio of bonds as collateral for loans to market participants and uses the rate on those loans to influence market rates. The experiment was set to expire Wednesday, but the Fed extended it for a year until Jan. 2015. They increased caps on the size of trades the Fed can make to $5 billion per counterparty from $3 billion.

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Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:16 | 4380874 thatguy007
thatguy007's picture

GOLD doesn't know what to do BIATCHEEZ

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:19 | 4380894 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Exactly what i was going to say. Jumped, headfake, jump again....headfake again?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:19 | 4380907 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

give it about 30 minutes and it will be smashed below $1250

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:36 | 4381024 Panem et Circus
Panem et Circus's picture

In paper terms on the crimex you mean. Anyone selling phyz at $1,250?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:45 | 4381071 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

North Korea just announved they have successfully sent a man to the sun and back.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:50 | 4381118 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

Screw that, I want to know how this guy types that fast in 2 min plus editorial copy.

is he a HFT ?


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:54 | 4381142 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Hilsey once fought off a shark attack, stiched the wound himself then quaffed a six pack in under 3 minutes

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:56 | 4381151 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Hilsey is also the first human to have killed and skinned a bigfoot in under 9 minutes

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:30 | 4381692 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

It's true about North Korea announced sending an astronaut to the sun.  When asked about burning up their top space scientist announced:

"We thought of that.  We send him at night."

Later, privately he told his friends that the astronaut was given the choice of continuing to live in North Korea or going to the sun.


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:20 | 4380909 DanTak
DanTak's picture

Not going down means going up strong here, buddy.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:42 | 4381055 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Listen dude, anybody can type 314 words a minute is AWESOME!!!!!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:21 | 4380926 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture



Thanks again to Daneric's blog

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:25 | 4380954 AllThatGlitters
AllThatGlitters's picture

That's only to trick those with a twitchy finger near the sell button.

Note how it shot right back up on the live chart: http://www.pmbull.com/gold-price/

You don't think they are waiting for sucker interpretations of charts like that?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:18 | 4380899 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Bullshit! Gold acts exactly right. It sits there and remains calm!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:50 | 4381111 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Bitcoins are way cool.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:22 | 4380931 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

Is this still Bernake? I though it was Mr. Yellan, ya know the fall guy

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:23 | 4381316 KidHorn
KidHorn's picture

The trend lately has been market up, gold down and vice versa. I think slowing QE is worse for the market since we all know QE money was used to prop the market. Not gold. If anything, it was used to naked short gold.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:54 | 4382082 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Silver is in a little upward waterfall, back to around where it started; as soon as the comes closed in NY. actually the NYMEX; they're sure being obvious about it; but not really doing anything; as I say, it's basically back to where it started the day. On a lighter note, a comumnist on Marketwatch says don't pay any attention to the distress in the emerging markets; and take advantage of the dip in the us market to pick up some bargains. I find this amuzing, but maybe somebody believes this. The major problem here is the various problems and adjustments taking place in the emerging markets are brand new; and we don't really know how much contagion there will be or how this will play out.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:16 | 4380886 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

Do you think somebody leaked the info to him ahead of timee?  If I was a news organization I might sue.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:23 | 4380938 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

"... and we're in trouble deep!" Thanks man. That was what I needed ..

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:39 | 4381038 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Since when am I Phil Everly, eh? Or Don? I just liked the music - and it wasn't me who caused your three buddies trouble, may I mind you ... quite the contrary ...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:24 | 4380951 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

He's just a world class typist, honest.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:46 | 4381087 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

314 words a minute is fresh!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:28 | 4380979 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Leaking it earlier is breach of law.

I'm wondering why no US-American ZH readers are not laying a charge against one or several or all FOMC members.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:19 | 4380895 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

he's a good fucking typer... wonder how many words he can churn out per minute as he multi-tasks going down on a Central Banker & typing his propganda? 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:24 | 4380945 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Tyler beat Jon by a minute!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:51 | 4381126 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Um, 729 divded by 2?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:18 | 4380896 Cursive
Cursive's picture

If K-Hen loses 1772, it's on!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:25 | 4380953 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

If he loses 500 on CrAAPL, it's a CrAAPLfall at 3:45 PM.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:18 | 4380898 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'll laugh my ass off if this shit starts melting down before old Yeller even gets to take the reigns.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:19 | 4380911 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

What a nice idea!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:25 | 4381334 Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

Hopefully not before Yellen says something like - "The Economy is on the way to full recovery", you know, for extra Fed-irony.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:21 | 4380900 DanTak
DanTak's picture


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:19 | 4380912 BadDog
BadDog's picture

Now that they have a new buyer for their bonds (myra), they can just taper on.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:22 | 4380929 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

Can someone help me understand how the Fed tapered in January ($75 Billion of Bond / MBS purchases) but apparently money supply increased by over $100 Billion?  Do I have it wrong and/or do I not understand something?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:30 | 4380980 cro_maat
cro_maat's picture

What the Fed says is often different than what they do (especially the parts that go unreported). Anybody audit that gold vault recently?

Hey is Merkel out of the hospital yet from her CIA beating I mean skiing accident?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:23 | 4380935 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Nothing can stop this recovery!"

What a bunch of tripe, what a steaming crock of bullshit.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:25 | 4380960 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Logically, what hasn't started can't be stopped.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:41 | 4381047 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

But pretending that something has started, like the "recovery", when it has not started, is not just pretending, but....




Therefore it is TRIPE and a steaming crock of Bullshit as ebworthren originally posted.


That is what is logical.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:21 | 4381298 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

This is coming from a group who perceives "first time saver folks" will flock to Myra which can be done now without such instrument. Logic and these people are mutually exclusive. Purposeful deception is only applicable.


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:25 | 4381330 KidHorn
KidHorn's picture

How is MyRA any different than a regular interest bearing savings account that's FDIC insured?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:24 | 4380944 chistletoe
chistletoe's picture

the only new buyers of bonds here are the people with jobs ... funny thing is there's getting to be less and less of those ....

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:23 | 4380947 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

reporters get a 5 or 10 minute quarantined pre release room to type their story


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:55 | 4381147 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Nice avatar.


Here it is in a viewable size.



Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:25 | 4380957 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Arrest Bernanke before he gets away.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:27 | 4380965 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

yeah... Corzine will be there to throw the cuffs on him?!?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:28 | 4380971 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Kevin Henry buying the dip with both fucking hands right now.  Good luck kid, yer gonna need it.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:29 | 4380978 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Woooo bouncing like a superball out there.... Ride'm cowboy!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:00 | 4381130 evernewecon
evernewecon's picture



Manipulated inventory and interest rates

aimed first at preventing TBTF bank losses

followed by MBS purchases at banks' 

prices, enabling investors' (bankers')

purchases of the initial adverse state

of the market whose bubble they created

and burst, pre-empts those who sold the

bubble (policy of hand it over combined

with forced loss sharing, the ripping of

in income on the proceeds from the selling

of the bubble and arm twisted handing over

of "put up or shut up'ability" serves 

disconnecting not only the rightful 

clearing of the market by the bubble 

sellers, but price behavior that would

otherwise enable new household purchases

and their eventual upward price pressure.


The separation of need and demand

in housing is measured by homelessness

(plus people living with their parents.)


All the corrective mechanisms are 

knee-capped in favor of interest 

rate apartheid and inventory



To lend is to see one's principal 

lose value when interest rates move

in the only direction they can move,

which is up, not counting remaining

where they are.


Chase the bankers' artificial bubble?

(When it's even more artificial than

the last one?)


The opposite is banker loss taking

and the slow re-incentivizing of 



Delhi's been heading that way, notably

breaking from Washington's strategy,

since August




to the rupee's benefit, at least to this point,

though I'm of course not a fortune teller

(I don't know if it'll rain tonight 

even at home.)



But really only one class of assets'

prices have seemed to matter: whatever

assets the banks are holding.










I think the markets having been

made dysfunctional so largely

for so long, they've become

increasingly dependent on the

Fed's Kool-Aid, which is essentially

then trickle down economics.


It's what's left for you after

privatizers get theirs.


Hubert Humphrey coined "trickle 

down economics," the variation of

which was Walter Mondale's 

"where's the beef."










Wed, 01/29/2014 - 15:54 | 4381135 Sufiy
Sufiy's picture

Jim Rickards: The Macro View: Meet Janet Yellen, central planner


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