• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Meet The 33 Year Old Speechwriter Whose Speech Was Teleprompted To The President Last Night

Tyler Durden's picture


When Jon Favreau (no, not the actor) left the White House last year, 33-year-old (high-school football-playing, pirate-costume-wearing, Harvard grad and Ted Kennedy intern) Cody Keenan took over the reins of chief spechwriter for President Obama. As Reuters reports, Keenan's speechwriting career took off after he crafted the impassioned speech that Obama delivered at a memorial service for victims of a 2011 shooting spree in Tucson, Arizona, where former Representative Gabrielle Giffords was seriously injured. A former professor noted "he doesn't take himself too serious," and we suspect, given last night's SOTU, the rest of the world now knows that.


The wordsmithing wizard of terrific teleprompterism dressed for work...


and his special speechwriting outfit...


As Reuters reports,

Six days before the State of the Union address, Cody Keenan posted on the photo-sharing site Instagram a blurred image of a speech draft with President Barack Obama's notes in the margins. He ended the post with "#SpoilerAlert #InsideSOTU-Cody."



No amount of eye-squinting could decipher the details, but if anyone knew exactly what Obama intended to say in his annual address to the nation, it was chief speech writer Keenan.


The 33-year-old Keenan wrote what will be his State of the Union address numero deux after taking over duties last year from Jon Favreau, who left after five years in the job.


... read more here


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Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:27 | 4381349 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

U talking about sexual chocolate? Mr. Obumma.. not writing his own speech? psshh


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:35 | 4381396 WarriorClass
Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:38 | 4381417 maskone909
maskone909's picture

garrr thems be the words of butt pirate trickery! 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:49 | 4381437 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



"guaranteed return and no risk"

Neither the pirate nor the pretender understand inflation risk, or they do understand, but are comfortable lying to the, "first time investors," that they are trying to dupe into buying the debt of an insolvent government.


So which is it, Mr President?  Are you ignorant or evil?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:02 | 4381535 BC6
BC6's picture

You're so money, baby. MyRA is so money too baby!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:58 | 4382103 strannick
strannick's picture

"You stay classy, San Diego. Im Ron Burgandy?''

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 19:41 | 4382313 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

A pirate writing speeches for a butt pirate thief of a president.    Ironic.  Or tragic.  Take your pick.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:54 | 4381502 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

A guy who doesn't take himself seriously writing for a guy who sounds promises of vauge betterness while ruining the nation. Sounds evil to me.

That guy didn't dress up pirate for Barry for nuthin...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:22 | 4381650 Joenobody12
Joenobody12's picture

(  So which is it, Mr President?  Are you ignorant or evil?  )


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:26 | 4381957 alangreedspank
alangreedspank's picture

I'm sure the pirate knows about inflation. After all, he wants larrrge booties of gold pieces, harrrrr.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:05 | 4381872 Golden Showers
Golden Showers's picture

maskone909, while it may be low hanging fruit, one must emphasize and second the whole butt pirate thing. For one, I'm still waiting on the unicorn ranch I was promised back in 08, and, like, when I wake up now, my butt hurts like I got stuffed in my sleep and all I got was this stupid telephone. And whenever it's my turn to hit the J, this dude keeps elbowing in on my toke. First it's stealing my hit and now, now it's Butt-Surf-USA, baby! All hail the chief, with his pen and his phone and his thar'she blows, two bit, wooden leg, eye patch, fake beard, no account, swash unbuckling fuck toy.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:42 | 4381435 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

OK. Now I have now seen everything.

Harvard, Kennedy old boy, given a position he was not qualified to have, with no oversight or governance. Yup.


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:57 | 4381514 BGO
BGO's picture

Dont forget that he was born and raised in Chicago.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:32 | 4381391 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

He's too busy being awesome. His underling Sexual Bundt cake, aka the Dread Pirate douchebag aka the mongoloid whisperer aka William Fakesqueer, aka Code dog Keenan has become the only linguistic fromp* that Berri needs.


*Fromp - To fart while sitting in a bath tub, at bite the bubbles.Alternatively - One who goes around smelling bicycle seats.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:50 | 4381471 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Any drinking buddy of Chappaquidic Ted's will be OK in Kim Jung Obama's book

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:09 | 4381575 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

He graduated to a Journeyman drunk driver by bein g an apprentice under tedski.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:46 | 4381782 Freddie
Freddie's picture


Nice rant from one of our fine cousins north of the border.  LOL!  Pretty priceless.

Thu, 01/30/2014 - 02:26 | 4383306 jmk
jmk's picture

Girls bicycle seats to be precise!  I heard that when I was in 3rd grade in the 40's and not a Fromp but a Snark.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:50 | 4381472 lordbyroniv
lordbyroniv's picture
"this number shows the free activity of the being in the organization of the world. (...) It shows the free creature related to the plans of the Creator by links of justice and love or by the providential intermediaries". This number is seen thus connected to the Karma - 3 + 3 = 6
Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:12 | 4381595 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Its the magic number!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:53 | 4382066 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

I guess he couldn't cut writing reality TEE VEE scripts.   Same talent...



Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:28 | 4381356 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

American fellows: Meet your next president!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:29 | 4381367 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

I don't take him serious either.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:54 | 4381489 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Thats right. Hes a fucking joke

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:31 | 4381368 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

This is good. Right?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:54 | 4381490 BigRedRider
BigRedRider's picture

Would you shake apart if I said no?  Just testing your convictions.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:31 | 4381369 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture



If the tech-nerds can de-swirl kiddie-porn pervert pics they should be able to filter this too right?  Then fire his leaky ass (no pun intended).


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:30 | 4381370 Intelligence_In...
Intelligence_Insulter's picture

The Osama Slayer doesn't write his own speeches?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:31 | 4381381 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Fucking guy can't even carry the water.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:31 | 4381371 Gene Parmesan
Gene Parmesan's picture

Ah, the pen behind the teleprompter in front of the asshole who's behind the (continued) intentional destruction of the US. Nice to meet you, douchebag.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:31 | 4381373 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Apparently he is a very good plagiarist as well.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:30 | 4381374 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

my word cloud has BYTCHEZ as the largest word so there ya go

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:07 | 4381570 CHX
CHX's picture

My Bytches R A - there, fixed

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:32 | 4381375 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Gag me with a rag. So we're listening to shit from some doped up college boy comedian? No wonder it sounded so much like shit from a doped up college boy comedian. Somebody shoot me now, please.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:32 | 4381972 alangreedspank
alangreedspank's picture

Worded it better than I ever could.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:31 | 4381379 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

I thought the speech sucked.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:33 | 4381392 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

You're generous to call it a speech. It sounded like a recital, and it sucked.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:00 | 4381415 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Speech? What speech??

He sounded like  rectal...and sucked what?


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 23:14 | 4382969 Milestones
Milestones's picture

Recital?? I thought that was a barker on a Carny runway.---Step right up little lady--knock all 3 down and win that Panda Bear. Pathrtic.        Milestones

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 18:17 | 4381921 vortmax
vortmax's picture

My thoughts exactly. Politics aside, it was just a poorly-written speech with no coherent theme.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:35 | 4381393 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

So, Barry is a spongebob fan...

That explains a whole lot right there.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:02 | 4381543 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


This guy's got nothing on Patchy.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:39 | 4381419 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

If you like your plagiarism, you can keep your plagiarism…period!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:42 | 4381434 rlouis
rlouis's picture

33 - the new 15



Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:41 | 4381436 Cursive
Cursive's picture

How hard is it to write insincere promises to the free shit army?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:48 | 4381464 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Depends on whether you have a human soul or not.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:00 | 4381527 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

The octopus has many tentacles...


Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:44 | 4381444 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Every King needs his Jester.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 16:43 | 4381445 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

getting trolled hard by .gov these days

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 17:06 | 4381455 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!