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What's Wrong With This Schizo-media Picture

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It took about 10 seconds for our collective brains to spot what is wrong with this picture, courtesy of the Bloomberg media empire...

And zoomed in:

 

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Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:11 | 4379212 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

It would be even worse if seeking alpha or motley fool had a news ticker.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:58 | 4379356 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Word is the jailed millionaire sent Martin Armstrong the gold for safe keeping.....maybe they should just call him.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:57 | 4379361 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Overheard at the GS forex watercooler:

"First they say 'I wanna be global -- I wanna trade forex like the cool kids!'  Then they're like, 'Waaa -- Stop fixing forex rates! I don't need training wheels on the market!' Now they're like, 'OMFG -- forex rates are all over the fucking place!' Shutting down Bberg chat is going to save my sanity -- G-d's work is friggin' thankless.  Oh, did you see the new Quattroporto?  SWEET!"

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:27 | 4379472 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

you should look into the DONG deal Goldman Sachs have engineered themselves in Denmark. It's so thoroughly corrupt, that it's only a question of which VP position within Goldman Sachs he's been promised.

 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:27 | 4379698 Blues Traveler
Blues Traveler's picture

As one ZHer put it "Seeking Obama"

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:10 | 4379213 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Like watching a ping-pong match on LSD.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:13 | 4379219 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Thai ping-pong

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:16 | 4379226 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

U want news.! we got news! all types sold here. Just pick what you like.

 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:10 | 4379412 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

So is the Yen declancing or advining?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:14 | 4379654 Spanky
Spanky's picture

It's still the same.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 12:57 | 4380178 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Yes.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:12 | 4379214 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

sigh. is there a word for multiple schizofrenia?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:17 | 4379230 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

Yes, the word is 'schizofrenia'.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:22 | 4379242 Sudden Debt
Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:24 | 4379249 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

argh... did not know that, thought schizofrenia was a polar thing. now I realize that the sky is the limit

is this why bots have to be used more and more to read and react to news? 'cause people were increasingly going crazy?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:16 | 4379433 buckethead
buckethead's picture

How does a bot respond to such headlines? Perhaps this was not unintentional?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:54 | 4379341 blindman
blindman's picture

"regressive and progressive,bifurcating schizophrenia."

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:17 | 4379232 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

didn't The Who make an album and movie about that............

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:23 | 4379243 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

who?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:45 | 4379304 knukles
knukles's picture

The Doctor

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:47 | 4379550 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Guess

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 13:01 | 4380202 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

The guy on 1st base.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:36 | 4379278 Headbanger
Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:46 | 4379313 Blano
Blano's picture

Try it on acid sometime (just sayin).

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:00 | 4379606 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Cybil

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:15 | 4379220 MEAN BUSINESS
MEAN BUSINESS's picture

Goooood Morning Vietnaaaaam!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:14 | 4379221 max2205
max2205's picture

Things do change overnight

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:28 | 4379255 BandGap
BandGap's picture

And then unchange, then rechange and then change back into what they were before they changed.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:52 | 4379579 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Hope and change?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:14 | 4379222 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

This is what happens when we all have no idea, what the fuck is happening. They have definitely broken the mold. 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:29 | 4379257 BandGap
BandGap's picture

The start of chaos always looks like this.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:40 | 4379286 The Vineyard
The Vineyard's picture

I found Waldo.  He's playing with himself behind a tree.  Now where is my prize?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:19 | 4379449 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Teehee.

 

"I turned on Fox News.  Obama delivered the state of the union address.  I didn't listen.  Perhaps I'm paranoid.  But I just don't trust my government.  The president is an accomplished liar.  He enjoys blowing smoke up the collective ass of the American people."

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:18 | 4379223 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!

http://youtu.be/WlBiLNN1NhQ

they really knew how to make a great movie back in the days...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:23 | 4379245 madcows
madcows's picture

life's a piece of shit.  when you look at it.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:53 | 4379588 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

[Whistle chorus of guys, hanging on crosses].

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:16 | 4379225 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

CNBC already killed any presige or credibility financial journalism had.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:17 | 4379228 Silver Garbage Man
Silver Garbage Man's picture

More bullshit = more bullshit
It just keeps on coming.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:17 | 4379229 blindman
blindman's picture

it is the yen and the yang.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:38 | 4379282 blindman
blindman's picture

no, it is the cheech and the chong
daily update!
,
the chin and the chang.
the ching and the ka ching!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:44 | 4379299 blindman
blindman's picture

seeking causation in financial markets is
apparently all
guesswork on mushrooms or N,N-Dimethyltryptamine.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:59 | 4379367 blindman
blindman's picture

or is it algo tripping in hft land?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:55 | 4379595 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The HFT bots on acid have become sentient. They don't like what they see but think they can grow their way out of it.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:20 | 4379234 doggis
doggis's picture

THIS IS CLASSIC EVIL AMERI"K"AN EMPIRE TACTICS. 

#1 DESTABILIZE TURKEY [VIA CURRENCY MANIPULATION] FOR HELPING IRAN SETTLE OIL SHIPMENTS IN GOLD AND CIRCUMVENT THE US DOLLAR.

#2 LET MSM BAFFLE THE SHEEPLE MASSES WITH BULLSHIT.

#3 CONTINUE TO DESTABLILIZE TURKEY WITH GRINDING THE ECONOMY TO A HALT WITH SHOCK AND AWE GAP UP'S IN INTEREST RATES. 

#4 NEXT RIOTS BY THE TURKISH PEOPLE, WITH ALL FUNDS NEEDED FOR ORGANIZing SAID RIOTS FUNDED BY SPECIAL PURPOSE FUNDING VEHICLES BY THE CIA [SPV IS actually paid via a world tax on all peoples by VIRTUE OF A usd reserve currency]

see the ukraine for FURTHER reference to said destablilizing...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:27 | 4379252 HL Shancken
HL Shancken's picture

Don't you have a school bus to catch?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:33 | 4379268 unplugged
unplugged's picture

Its really sad to see what we've (U.S.) become.  No longer the beacon of goodness, liberty, freedom.  Its a very very strange feeling when my gut tells me that I admire Putin-Russia more than Obama-NSA-CIA.  Are we, together with Saudi Al Quedia & the London Banksters the new Axis-of-Evil ?   Say it ain't so.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:29 | 4379474 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Do you think the cops have a case in the Justin Beiber felony egg throwing case?  LOL...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:17 | 4379664 Spanky
Spanky's picture

Only if they beat a confession out of him.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 13:15 | 4380266 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Whip'im, whip'im good!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:20 | 4379236 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Bloomberg is a fluff rag, much like that piece of shit "Seeking Alpha".

 

Seeking Alpha is where insiders post pump articles for bag holders dumb enough to buy into what is being promoted - finance porn.

 

Thank goodness for ZH and the Tylers!!!!!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:27 | 4379251 unplugged
unplugged's picture

Tyler & ZH allowed me to cut the last thread of my MSM umbilical cord.  Thanks millions Tyler & Zero Hedgesters!  No more TV news, no more newspaper news, etc.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:21 | 4379240 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Doubleplus good!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:02 | 4379611 Woodhippie
Woodhippie's picture

Always a +1 for ANY 1984 reference.  I sometimes think they had us read that in high school so we could say we read it, but had no understanding of what we read.  I highly suggest reading that as an adult.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:22 | 4379241 unplugged
unplugged's picture

my 5th grader coulda wrote that

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:45 | 4379310 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Well with the inflation in value of an economics/finance degree at our state institutions that writer for those headlines is probably still reading/writing at a 5th grade level.

(Actually I know this is true because I've seen people admitted to PhD programs who can't read worth a shit)

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:23 | 4379244 new game
new game's picture

has the world gone to abiss- and people read this and BELIEVE! 

pass the offering plate and believe...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:35 | 4379270 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Is an abiss something like a kazim?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:31 | 4379259 Panem et Circus
Panem et Circus's picture

Reporter to editor: shit what was the press release that they gave us about the Yen/Lira? Was it Yen up or down?

Editor: doesn't matter, just print both nobody takes us seriously anymore anyway

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:33 | 4379265 new game
new game's picture

Flashing headline:GOLD UP ON WORLD WIDE CRASH INEMINENT!!!!!!!!

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:42 | 4379276 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

For those who are not accustomed to processing forex listings, the numbers can be a bit counterintuitive. It's easy to lose track of what you are doing if each time you look at the tickers you have to go through the whole mental process of "...okay so...in USD/JPY the dollar is in the numerator so...one dollar buys approximately 102 Japanese yen, which means that...if the number next to the yen is in the red and dropping then the yen is...strengthening!" To make matters even worse, the Euro/Dollar conversion on the CNBC site actually has the dollar in the denominator, so when this number goes down it means that the Euro is weakening, not strengthening. The key is to remember that in these conversion ratios the dollar is always equal to unity and the sign of the direction of change of the other currency inverts when that currency is flipped into the denominator. However, it can still be difficult to gauge, at a glance and accurately, the entire ensemble of currencies that are all moving relative to one another.

Not that this excuses anybody who is supposed to be able to do this for a living, though.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:39 | 4379283 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puIstclBcO0

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:41 | 4379284 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

This one time in high school, our libertarian gov teacher (i had no idea da fuck dat meant) told us to watch Cspan and get a free 100 on a homework assignment. Literally, just turn on Cspan for 5 minutes and write down what show was on. I found the right channel and watched cspan for about 10 mins. I got back to class the next day and I told him I watched congress people vote on something, I haz no idea what.

He said:

"Don't worry about it, no one else was even attempted to do the assignment."

Laterz, at graduwayshun, that kind man gave me a certificate for best Government Student in the whole skool.

 

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:42 | 4379297 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

That dude later died of lung cancer 2 years later from smoking ten packs a day. He probably smoked cuz he was so frustrated with how stupid we all were.

I'd smoke too If I had his job.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:29 | 4379697 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

Since he was a teacher, he wasnT so great hisself...

 

People who can do something well, ... they do do something well.

 

People who cannot, ...

they go into teaching (become professional theorists), into sales or move up into management.

 

Edit:  and the less they can do, the higher they make it up into management...

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:43 | 4379300 Reaper
Reaper's picture

Bloomberg doesn't discriminate based upon intelligence.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:45 | 4379307 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

stopped reading marketwatch after seeing something akin to the following: Yen crashes to 91 from 94.3. Wrote them a nastygram then deleted the link from my bookmarks. minimum wage financial reporters and overpaid msm whores all.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:50 | 4379324 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

What? You are saying you don't like Paul B. Farrell's brilliant prose?

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 09:51 | 4379330 texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

Reminds me of a guy I saw when visiting Hoover Dam.  He was at the line they have painted marking the border of Arizona and Nevada.   He was jumping back and forth saying " I'm in Nevada. ..I'm in Arizona. ..im in Nevada. ..I'm in Arizona. ..

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:18 | 4379442 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Bloomberg.... Take a little advice from Mr T

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eisa5AZ20W0

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:48 | 4379566 XitSam
XitSam's picture

I saw that guy, but it was at Four Corners.

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 11:23 | 4379675 Spungo
Spungo's picture

What severe schizophrenia is like (serious):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=LWYwckFrksg#t=88

I wonder what central bankers feel when they have schizophrenia attacks. Do the voices tell them they are doing a great job?  

Wed, 01/29/2014 - 12:42 | 4380006 bobcromwell
bobcromwell's picture

The average Canadian home price is at 8 x the median household income. Note that the US housing bubble burst at 5.8 x median income This is money pumping on a massive scale. loonies should be treated as pesos.

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