Caption Contest: Bye Bye Ben

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It would seem, after 8 years at the helm of the Federal Reserve, that Ben Bernanke's colleagues were a little too busy fielding calls from Emerging Market bankers to wish him good bye. Just out from the Federal Reserve:

 

As Ben rides off into the sunset, one wonders whether if the now former Chairsatan at least got a parting watch for his epic effort at making the rich richer beyond their wildest dreams, while dooming the rest of the population to a lifetime of pain and suffering. A gold watch that is.

Finally, we hope the following story inspired by current events remains in the fiction rather than fact column (h/t Derrick):

(BN)  Fed Chairman Bernanke Arrested on Suspicion of DUI

 

Jan. 29 (Bloomberg) -- The outgoing Chairman of the Federal Reserve was arrested today after reportedly racing his cherry red Lamborghini Murcielago down Collins Avenue in South Beach, Miami. Local police arrested Mr. Bernanke on suspicion of DUI after finding a two liter bottle of sizzurp under the driver's seat and an ounce of grand daddy purps in the glove box.

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Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:24 | 4389586 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I'm going to miss the term "Bennie Bux"...

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:26 | 4389600 VD
VD's picture

OUT WIT DA OLD NEO-KEYNEZIAN SOCIOPATH

IN WIT DA NEW NEO-KEYNEZIAN SOCIOPATH

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:30 | 4389620 JPM Hater001
Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:35 | 4389645 So Close
So Close's picture

Don't take the executioner personally.  He is just doing his job.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:41 | 4389667 brewing
brewing's picture

i can't remember which office the good looking intern works in...

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:00 | 4389749 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

 

 

The halls of Congress a cacophony of insane distraction.

The vaults of the fed empty.

One man to hit the "print" button.

The long arm of the law complicit.

The wolves of wallstreet fat and content in their dens.

 

SN/AFU.

 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:42 | 4389907 fuu
fuu's picture

Hey Ben, fuck you!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:50 | 4389929 max2205
max2205's picture

What's his annual pension worth...send it to my mom who've you've fucking starved to death you fucking prick....rot in hell

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 20:09 | 4389972 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

His defining moment....the perp walk

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 21:17 | 4390185 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Now it's time for you to bend-over Ben.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 22:55 | 4390416 BTFDemocracy
BTFDemocracy's picture

Hey look, a hot-dog down the hallway.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 20:12 | 4389974 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Marble floors, palatial setting.... good job, liar.  You make Lucifer proud.  Such ego, such praise, yet "no one knows how gold prices work".  Fucking liar.

How you are able sleep at night will always perplex me, but what your personality is and who you are will never be mistaken, even years from now.  You are money, and money is the root of all evil.

 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 22:35 | 4390379 economics9698
economics9698's picture

He’s a fucking sociopath, he sleeps very well goyim.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 12:09 | 4391259 Paper CRUSHer
Paper CRUSHer's picture

fuu one more time...........fuu ck you Bernanke!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 12:13 | 4391265 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Bernake: Watch your step, I just shit on the floor.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 22:15 | 4390334 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Bye Bye Bennie...Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:39 | 4389668 Four chan
Four chan's picture

"funny how my shadow, looks like my present self"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:46 | 4389706 Occams_Chainsaw
Occams_Chainsaw's picture

"Damn.....they took that stick away that I usually keep in my ass.  Bastards!"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:49 | 4389716 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

I'm just glad the Joos continue to manage and control our money.  Those poor people suffered so much and they're so under-repped in our society.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:56 | 4389740 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

Pacing out his distance before making the grand exit through the window at the end of the hall....

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:40 | 4389674 dryam
dryam's picture

Hope he finds a good embankment to throw himself down.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:43 | 4389685 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Meet the old boss, same as the new boss.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:03 | 4389770 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

And we'll get fooled again.  

Will get fooled again.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:53 | 4389730 salvadordaly
salvadordaly's picture

Ben is THE "MDB" and he is down ticking everyone of you bastards!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:43 | 4389689 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

His colleagues made a Ben Bernanke baseball card for him, and gave it to him last night.  Now they just want him gone.  

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:55 | 4389743 yrad
yrad's picture

"It's been great being your FED Chairman. Now excuse me while I provide Jon Corzine his love child."

--Ben

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:15 | 4389819 Babaloo
Babaloo's picture

I'm pretty sure he could afford an Aventador...

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 22:20 | 4390343 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

He's in deep thought..."Now who is going to be the first of many stupid fucks to hire me to speak for $10000 a shot."

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 23:54 | 4390524 Curiously_Crazy
Curiously_Crazy's picture

I'm going to miss the term "Bennie Bux"...

It's not all bad. In memory of good ol Francis Sawyer there is always the option of the "Janet Joos(bux)"

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 06:39 | 4390927 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

How about Janet Juice...politically correct, but we know what it means.

caption: ben thought bubble..."Wow, I'm actually going to make it out of here with my head intact."

 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:24 | 4389587 Chuck Bone
Chuck Bone's picture

Banks for the memories!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:51 | 4389723 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Floor to ceiling Italian marble proves once again, "crime DOES pay"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:08 | 4389794 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Indeed.  The Halls of injustice are well appointed.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:24 | 4389593 zipit
zipit's picture

Fuck you, 99%

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:26 | 4389596 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Tanks for nothing, Ben.

 

(Not a typo)

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:24 | 4389597 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

I hope my book doesn't hit the clearance pile as fast as Greenies' did...

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:24 | 4389598 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Says to self, "well, now that's over I can spend my pension on hookers and blow.  Gotta swing by the yacht club on the way home and do some shopping... I think hookers like boats."

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:25 | 4389604 FOC 1183
FOC 1183's picture

add #ByeBernanke and we may get it trending

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:27 | 4389605 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

"I wonder of Alan ever tapped Ayn?"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:28 | 4389608 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"just keep walkin and look straight ahead like Lucifer said....try to at least look innocent..."

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:29 | 4389623 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

He is afraid that if he looks back he will turn into a pillar of salt. 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:33 | 4389613 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture

"It's been a long strange trip....it's good to know I fucked all of you over. Good luck Yellin."

 

#ByeBernanke

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:29 | 4389614 One And Only
One And Only's picture

I'm going to miss Ben.

Only because Janet Yellen looks like a pigeon from hell.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:29 | 4389616 redvetttes
redvetttes's picture

go buy the dip assholes,

i long more puts then you would beleve  

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:29 | 4389621 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"A Gold watch?  Gold is a barbarous relic!  But I'll take it.

Janet, best of luck (*chuckle*)."

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:16 | 4389815 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

The gold is a barbarous relic reference saved you from the crazed Fed fan downvoter.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:36 | 4389884 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

The Krugvoter is online!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:40 | 4389899 Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

All i get is a fucking PAPER watch? WTF!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:30 | 4389625 Nid
Nid's picture

"...for one wrist, which is attached by a heavy guage chain to a second "Gold Watch" for his other wrist, both of which are applied with his hands behind his back as he is escorted to Federal Prison"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:31 | 4389626 Shameful
Shameful's picture

Well he made it out and was able to hand the ticking time bomb off.  That has to be a huge relief, ducking the bullet, figuratively of course, of being at the helm when the dollar enters it's terminal phase.

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