"Suspicious White Powder" Found At 5 Superbowl Hotels

Tyler Durden's picture

While joking about potential terrorist plots is below us, the fact that New Jersey police are investigating the appearance of suspicious white powder at several hotels near the site of the Superbowl was too close to an "Onion" headline for us to ignore. As AP reports, the FBI is investigating the substance (found in envelopes - which we suspect were not marked with player's names). No injuries or overnight bouts of unexplained euphoria have been reported.


Via AP,

The FBI and other law enforcement are investigating a suspicious white powder that was mailed to at least five New Jersey hotels near the site of Sunday's Super Bowl.


Carlstadt Police Det. John Cleary says someone at an Econo Lodge found the substance in an envelope on Friday.


Cleary says similar mailings arrived at the Homestead Inn in East Rutherford and a Renaissance Inn in Rutherford. He says investigators intercepted additional envelopes from a mail truck before it reached a Holiday Inn Express and Hampton Inn in Carlstadt.


Hazardous materials teams are checking out the substance. The FBI says it is investigating and no injuries have been reported.

We hope this is not a replay of Washington's Anthrax issues but otherwise suggest NJ's blow-dealers consider other forms of delivery (e.g. McDonalds Happy Meal or Amazon Drone)

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Dr. Engali's picture

Yeah it's called snowflakes...we've had an abundance this year.

TerminalDebt's picture

Tomorrow's headline

"Suspicious white power goes missing"

philosophers bone's picture

"President Obama personally inspects and tests suspicious white substance.  Declares results inconclusive and further tests will continue through the weekend."

Global Hunter's picture

In a smokey room with Lawrence Taylor

Joe Davola's picture

If it was marked as "Thera Flu", it might be a delivery from those McDonalds in Pittsburgh where you asked for a toy in your happy meal.

Decolat's picture

I heard Bruno Mars is hangin 'round...

onewayticket2's picture

Police reports state that the white powder was found atop a hooker's ass.  tests were inconclusive.

RafterManFMJ's picture

Suspicious White Powder" Found At 5 Superbowl Hotels

Who cares? No one I know does.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled circus, enjoy the stupor bowl, you worthless derelicts.

TruthInSunshine's picture

What are sure to be many tens of thousand if not hundreds of thousands of citizen serf tax dollars spent to investigate white powder found at 5 hotel locations near the upcoming Superbowl =


I'm Sherlock Holmes and predict they will find razor blades and rolled up hundies nearby, too.

Tag it and bag it.

1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Fuckin trendys and sportheads pissin themselves everytime a tire blows or someone farts to loud, allow the police state to roll on out.....

kralizec's picture

White Line Fever strikes again.

trader1's picture

now why you gotta go pickin on michael irvin?

what a horrible case of bad luck.  if they only kept the music down and used just a wee little bit of self-restraint in exercising their private affairs...

everyone's got a dark side, or at least varying shades of gray (double puns (not) intended). he clearly had his own set of mental issues (demons you say?) and tried to deal with them in the only way he could understand how to best resolve.  BUT, i digress...  

sure, he broke some (asinine) drug laws, but why would a cop (who has his own darkside / shades of gray) be disappointed about some football player's extra-curricular activities?  he didn't murder anyone (as far as we know).  he didn't rape anyone (from any criminal or legal perspective). he didn't steal (as far as we know).  he didn't lie (except when trying to avoid punishment).  


<if you're not smelling the satire by now, please help yourself)

macholatte's picture



Details! We need details!


Was the powder in small plastic bags or loose in the envelopes?



zerozulu's picture

Good time to remind everyone war on terror.

Dr. Engali's picture

You mean the war on the American people right? Al CIAduh is on our side now....I mean .govs side now. Shit I'm so confused.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

They hate us for our spicy buffalo wings.

Grande Tetons's picture

ParkAve, fwiw

My favorite post of the week. 

kralizec's picture

Institute cower-in-place orders!  Release the drones!  Forward!

TruthInSunshine's picture

Breaking News: Tim Osmond wanted in connection with white powder. Call Al CIAduh for reward leading to arrest.

Almost Solvent's picture


Spicy Wings (the biggest tell if someone is from WNY or not is if they include 'buffalo' and/or 'chicken' before wings):



stormsailor's picture

what was the middle thing?

NotApplicable's picture

Yep, I'd say the CIA (et al.) have been busy with who knows how many false-flag preparations lately.

Perhaps this is the real reason that we're having an outdoor NYC Superbowl?

NotApplicable's picture

Also, with a cold weather venue, I wonder just how many hours people are going to have to wait to get through the security checkpoints, given everyone is going to be bundled up?

LMAOLORI's picture




And the VALUE of the NSA 




yogibear's picture

"Good time to remind everyone war on terror."

That's why Obama and Eric Holder will point out the need for the NDAA, NSA and TSA.

And the further need to trash the US constitution and install international law.

Bunga Bunga's picture

NSA superbowl ads please!

Canadian Dirtlump's picture

anybody up for some WIDE EYED FUN?

ShrNfr's picture

Nah, things go better with coke you know.

sgt_doom's picture

Well, they can't blame it on Bruce Ivins, he's been dead for quite some time.

Could it have been one of those three bankers who recently committed suicide?

The last one was from a subsidiary of Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company, whose historical majority shareholder has been the Rockefeller family.  Wonder if they still are?

And that other banker was with JPMorgan Chase.....


Speaking of white powder (Anthrax inference), a great book to read on that and questionable suicides is Bob Coen's Dead Silence (Coen and Nadler did some great investigative journalism on that one).

Pladizow's picture

People mailing themselves after party favors!

superflex's picture

Stanley Wilson in the house

ZeroChance's picture

Market is down, EM markets suffering and panties getting into a wad ... time for some good ol' fashioned "terrorism" whitewash?

The Axe's picture

I need some of that powder....I think the market is storting that shit...crazy market..just crazy