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Third Banker, Former Fed Member, "Found Dead" Inside A Week

Tyler Durden's picture


If the stock market were already crashing then it would be simple to blame the dismally sad rash of dead bankers in the last week on that - certainly that was reflected in 1929. However, for the third time in the last week, a senior financial executive has died in what appears to be a suicide. As Bloomberg reports, following the deaths of a JPMorgan senior manager (Tuesday) and a Deutsche Bank executive (Sunday), Russell Investments' Chief Economist (and former Fed economist) Mike Dueker was found dead at the side of a highway in Washington State. Police said the death appeared to be a suicide.

Via Bloomberg,

Mike Dueker, the chief economist at Russell Investments, was found dead at the side of a highway that leads to the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington state, according to the Pierce County Sheriff’s Department. He was 50.


He may have jumped over a 4-foot (1.2-meter) fence before falling down a 40- to 50-foot embankment, Pierce County Detective Ed Troyer said yesterday. He said the death appeared to be a suicide.


Dueker was reported missing on Jan. 29, and a group of friends had been searching for him along with law enforcement. Troyer said Dueker was having problems at work, without elaborating.


Dueker was in good standing at Russell, said Jennifer Tice, a company spokeswoman. She declined to comment on Troyer’s statement about Dueker’s work issues.

But as Michael Snyder noted recently, if the stock market was already crashing, it would be easy to blame the suicides on that.  The world certainly remembers what happened during the crash of 1929...

Historically, bankers have been stereotyped as the most likely to commit suicide. This has a lot to do with the famous 1929 stock market crash, which resulted in 1,616 banks failing and more than 20,000 businesses going bankrupt.


The number of bankers committing suicide directly after the crash is thought to have been only around 20, with another 100 people connected to the financial industry dying at their own hand within the year.

Dueker had also been a research economist at the St. Louis Fed:

He published dozens of research papers over the past two decades, many on monetary policy, according to the St. Louis Fed’s website, which ranks him among the top 5 percent of economists by number of works published. His most-cited work was a 1997 paper titled “Strengthening the case for the yield curve as a predictor of U.S. recessions,” published by the reserve bank while he was a researcher there.

So, with stocks a mere 4% off their highs, are so many high ranking and well respected bankers committing suicide?


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Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:20 | 4387822 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture

Sorry got to report this - 


“He made valuable contributions that helped our clients and many of his fellow associates.”


Bullfucking easy a caveman can do it.  Just BTFD and the follow the Bernake, how much did he really contribute. Now that the Bernake pulled the punchbowls these losers don't know what to do......I don't like seeing people end themselves in this way - I would much prefer the Celente way.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:20 | 4387844 WarriorClass
WarriorClass's picture

Once the plan is initiated, you have to get rid of the minions who know where the corpses are buried.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:23 | 4387857 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

Suicide?  Or, Suicided?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:24 | 4387872 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Never get into a car with Fat Clemenza, if he's in the back seat.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:27 | 4387887 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Business is brisk at JP Morgue.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:30 | 4387898 clones2
clones2's picture

I always seem to have better days when the DOW is down 200

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:37 | 4387926 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Reading about the corruption, lies, fraud, and theft is depressing enough, imagine living it!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:39 | 4387949 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Fucker took the easy way out....but at least he had some conscience of guilt

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:42 | 4387972 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

If you blame "some one", you will be labeled "anti-s..." should I say antisystematic?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:45 | 4387998 WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

Gues he took this song to heart:

Jump, you f**kers.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:11 | 4388133 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

No gratuitous mention of "33" so Im betting its not related to the London JP Morgan "suicided" story.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:16 | 4388158 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Tyler - Any common ground among these three deaths?

Either the noose is getting tight or they see what lies ahead.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:41 | 4388277 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

No, really, he jumped, er.., with help. Really.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:46 | 4388295 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Neither a Borrower nor a Banker be.
- The Bard

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:01 | 4388350 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Too Many Bankers [rats] ??????????????


Calhoun coined the term "behavioral sink". Calhoun's work became used, rightly or wrongly, as an animal model of societal collapse, and his study has become a touchstone of urban sociology and psychology in general.[3]

In it, Calhoun described the behavior as follows:

“ Many [female rats] were unable to carry pregnancy to full term or to survive delivery of their litters if they did. An even greater number, after successfully giving birth, fell short in their maternal functions. Among the males the behavior disturbances ranged from sexual deviation to cannibalism and from frenetic overactivity to a pathological withdrawal from which individuals would emerge to eat, drink and move about only when other members of the community were asleep. The social organization of the animals showed equal disruption.
Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:08 | 4388368 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

jump you fucks

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:46 | 4388715 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Fetal whistleblowers being aborted.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 15:42 | 4388970 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Only 7 more to go to call it an official depression. 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 22:39 | 4390384 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

When the Rothschilds start jumping out of windows... then we're getting somewhere.  (They won't because they don't have any conscience.)

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 00:42 | 4390605 spine001
spine001's picture

After studying economics as my fourth career (physics, medicine and engineering my first three), I had a very difficult time understanding how this guys could sleep at night, unless they were complete psychopaths, criminal minds style. Of course that I didn't pursue any job in economics, but stayed in my old fields, but ended up filled with repugnance at what special interests have made of this discipline.
So whether suicide or assassination, the point is that they couldn't live with themselves or among themselves.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 08:36 | 4391001 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture





Don't fight the Fed fights back.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 05:42 | 4390889 limit_less
limit_less's picture

"before falling down a 40- to 50-foot embankment,"

You see it all the time, people rolling themselves down a hill to commit suicide. Only this morning I s..........

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 10:26 | 4391106 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

the winter weather in Seattle makes me suicidal too

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:58 | 4388343 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

The guy in London was in IT.  Highly unlikely - though not impossible - that he'd have been up to bankster tricks.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:06 | 4388364 john39
john39's picture

how much IT is devoted to stealing and theft by the bankers?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:14 | 4388402 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Well these guys would have access to all their databases, exchange servers, etc.  So I would think their IT guys would be walking targets when things really go bad.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:34 | 4388473 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

The IT guys have access to all the emails and transactions at a bank and also access to the backups of that data.  Also, who do you think is running the algo world?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:49 | 4389925 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Only for ZHers and a few others.  If it gets to the point where the sheep are physically acting against bankers, they will likely be after the tellers and managers at their local branches first, and possibly some of the CEOs.  Too many are ignorant of what goes on, and, if SHTF, will just want to smash something. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:21 | 4401027 jkostzh
jkostzh's picture

I concur.  When SHTF you keep your head down and powder dry.  It's what happens after they "break stuff" that I get worried.



Sat, 02/01/2014 - 05:46 | 4390891 limit_less
limit_less's picture

IT/software guys are ground zero for info on How, When and What

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:58 | 4388756 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Why does anyone believe what the "Authorities" say anymore? How is it possible that they still have any credibility left?

Cicero: "Mendaci neque quum vera dicit, creditur" (a liar is not to be believed even when he speaks the truth)

"The more we do to you, the less you seem to believe we are doing it." -- Dr. Josef Mengele

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:58 | 4389753 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Why does anyone believe what the "Authorities" say anymore?"

Yup, assume it is all a lie and look for the agenda while continuing the stacking, stocking and smithing.


"Guillotines making the world a better place one bankster, pol and crat at a time."

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 21:26 | 4390200 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

IT are the eyes and ears of every organization. Their ability to know, or to find out, is exceeded only by custodial engineers.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 15:15 | 4388832 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Ed Snowden was in IT

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 09:59 | 4391066 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Yes, what you all say is true about access to information etc.  But speaking as an ex-IT guy who worked on banking and big pharma systems (the latter are even bigger crooks that the banks IMHO) I can't see how this knowledge would induce me to top myself. Bascially I wouldn't see it as my fault or problem.


Now as regards this knowledge being dangerous to TPTB, leading to passive  rather than active suicide, i.e.  getting the Michael Hastings treatment, well, as we say in Cork, that's a white horse of a different color.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 21:37 | 4392425 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

dude, I was hearing a conference about all the quants they have working there & they're all about equations, models & IT.
Know what? It was fucking MONSANTO, not even an HFT trading firm.
You think long & hard about that.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:18 | 4388161 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Please elaborate.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:24 | 4388190 Four chan
Four chan's picture

3 times a charm, trend established.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:56 | 4388328 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

If I knew I was the potential target of a "suicide", I would surely try do something to protect myself.

He could have tried to pull a Snowden or something along those lines.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 16:37 | 4389199 vie
vie's picture

More likely they had skeletons being held over them (ie. satanic pedophelia as they like to do), and simply gave them instructions on how to kill themselves before it came out and/or their families died in a horrible fire.

Moral of the story, don't join any satanic child molesting groups in exchange for success and power and you'll be fine.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 23:12 | 4390448 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Welcome.  I see you have recently woken up from the matrix and seen the giant harvesters in the distance.  Fear not, for you are here to help with the great reality-shift.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:37 | 4388260 Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

Click! ...And the Dow has cut half its losses - Imagine of Ben off'd himself! ...To the moon ALICE!!!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:51 | 4388738 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 17:01 | 4389042 vie
vie's picture

Just for fun if you want to try to read into the possible "occult" symbolism around it:

I'm usually a bit suspicious when I see stuff like:

"He may have jumped over a 4-foot (1.2-meter) fence before falling down a 40- to 50-foot".

Someone felt the need to selectively convert one number to meters but not another, specifically involving what appears to be inconsequential speculation "he may have" (especially when 1+2=3).  Generally also look for repeated numbers, like he was 50 years old, and jumped 50 feet.  You'll generally see these things hidden in things like 40-50 feet, rather than just saying "about 45 feet", or "over 40 feet"... which doesn't use the numbers they want.  Similarly with selective numeric conversions, or terms like "greater than X", or "about X ...", fitting the wording to the numerology they want to use.

Date and times are pretty much always significant for occult activity.  He went missing on Jan. 29, 01/29 = 2+9 = 11   According to the numerology 1 signifies begining/initiation, 9 signifies ending/sacrifice, 2 duality required for birth/progress, 11 is a "master number" that signifies a threshold to reaching a higher level of spirit and/or enlightenment, when you add numbers together it indicates "potential".  

Put in context of the event you could interpret the date as:  

"An event which signifies initiation of progress (through sacrifice), creating the potential/power to achieving the goal."  The number 11 commonly signifies twin pilars, a sort of spiritual threshold that must be passed.  (You can see info on Tarot cards for more info on that.)

I didn't recognize anything too occultish with the names, other than Tecoma, where he lived and where it happened, is derived from the indian name for "Mountain that is God" and "Mother of the Waters".  Water being highly worshiped for it's role in birth and creation.  "Russell", seems to be a name use by figures in association with the occult.  (Ruse-ll? or a corruption of Rue-sell?)  Rusell is supposed to be one of the names used by the "bloodlines".  Not surprising there's a set of market indexes we're all familiar with by that name with a specific meantion of Russell 3000 in this case.  The other reference perhaps is to the St. Louis fed: You can read more on Saint Louis here:  He appears to have legislated against Jewish Usury (ironic for the St. Louis Fed?) And was invovled in crusades with Syria and Egypt.  All of that may or may not be relevant, just possible implications being subtly referenced for the narrative.  Indian words/names and Saints in particular are common in occult messages.

The fact that two of the bankers jumped/fell to their deaths is suggestive of Fallen Angels.  Falling from 40-50 feet may also be significant in terms of 4 signifying pemenance or foundation, and 5 generally signifying our lower/beast nature, can also signify protection from adversaries/death (ie. the pentagon).  This also may suggest an intention to sacrifice/bring the bankers down, and anyone "in the know" should get out before the fall.  Having three banks off themselves also creates a leading narrative that there is a general sense of shame and guilt amoungst bankers, which will serve subconsiously to reinforce the rage of the masses (not just ZHers).

From what I understand, bankers didn't actually jump from buildings during the 1929 crash, that was more of a rumor...  Changing dates or facts to fit some desired narrative is another sign of occult activity.  ie. America was founded 1776, supposedly the same year as the Bavarian Illuminati... oddly George Washington didn't become president until 13 years later.  If you're asking yourself, if people really plan out all these numbers ahead of time, I suspect the answer is when they can, and may not have control of how it's presented through the media.  In general it's more about making the numbers fit the desired occult narrative.  What's important is what you percieve conciously or subconciously, and what's communicated to other's "in the know"... not what really happened.

Read into it what you will.  I usually just take it with a grain of salt, but it is interesting to see if the common themes play into an overall narrative.  Like the warnings of 9/11 and the imprint on the currencies, if you can identify them ahead of time you might be able to get a general sense of where things are headed.  Or you might just spend a lot of time reading into things that don't really mean anything.  But like they said in The Matrix, when you see a black cat twice in a sort of deja vu, it's a good indication something's about to go down.


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 17:16 | 4389332 duffelpud
duffelpud's picture

E-lev-en.  It's 'one more'.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:53 | 4389937 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

As in Spinal Tap's amps...pure evil...

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 03:13 | 4393050 LuchadorChumba
LuchadorChumba's picture

Aye aye aye, Eleven suggests 'El' and 'Eve'. 

El is also known as 'Il', while 'El's reverse is 'La'

'Eve' is the coming of the light, which 'Il' 'lum' inates the angles that create all 'things'.

It's in our brain language, constantly reinforcing duality.

Viva El Luchador!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 20:09 | 4389968 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture


And not just in the news and finance but more ostensibly in the realm of pop culture you will find the obvious manipulation of the sub-conscious around ritual sacrifice and numerology... as in the recent Grammy awards when 34 gay couples were scheduled to be married but at the last minute and without explanation that number became 33...add to that the Katy Perry witchcraft during that 56th Grammy Awards and it’s all getting WAY too obvious.


Should be interesting to see what they have planned for the Superbowl half-time’s really becoming a tradition...Until then we have this great award show to highlight the Luciferian’s accomplishments in pop music for 2013...


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 00:04 | 4390542 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

You guys might like this article on all the 11's connecting the 9/11, Madrid, and Fukushima false flags.

Or this one on all the Masonic symbolism in the JFK assassination

Or this one about a nasty 2011 Super Bowl halftime surprise that may have been thwarted by conspiracy researcher David Chase Taylor:

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:05 | 4391577 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Interesting links NWC.

There's a great resource here at Vigilant Citizen (if you haven't checked it out already) which always seems to provide new insight decoding the now undeniable and relentless Luciferian attempts at media mind control


Sun, 02/02/2014 - 00:06 | 4392809 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Thanks for spreading awareness of the luciferian agenda.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 01:39 | 4392967 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

And to you too.  Cheers

Wed, 02/05/2014 - 23:58 | 4406810 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture


Wow that's some heavy shit, bro. thanks

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 10:20 | 4391097 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

It ain't really witchcraft unless Katy Perry shoots bullfrogs out of her ass at the audience.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:53 | 4391557 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

That wouldn't be witchcraft.  That would be magick

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 22:44 | 4390397 warish
warish's picture

42 feet

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 05:30 | 4390881 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

re: "Russell"

Russell Trust Association...aka Skull & Bones


Go ahead, look it up...


My attempt to get further information from the Skull and Bones shell corporation, the Russell Trust Association, resulted in my uncovering a fascinating corporate shell game that led back to the Bay of Pigs. These days any researcher who attempts to track down information from the Russell Trust Association will learn from the corporate filings office of the Connecticut Secretary of State that no such entity exists. This is a bit of a scam. It required some brilliant cross-referencing and close study of the secret Skull and Bones directories on the part of my research associate on this story, Peggy Adler, to discover that the Russell Trust Association changed its name nearly four decades ago and effectively erased its existence from corporate history.


It did so by abolishing itself and then reincorporating itself with the uninformative, anonymous-sounding name “RTA Incorporated.” And it chose a very peculiar moment in history to do so. The new papers of reincorporation that erased the century-old Russell Trust Association were filed at 10:15 a.m. on April 14, 1961. Two hours later, at noon on that day, the orders went out to begin the Bay of Pigs operations–the covert C.I.A.-financed invasion of Castro’s Cuba, a bloody fiasco that still haunts us four decades later.


That quote from a 2000 New York Observer article here:

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 10:55 | 4391158 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Having three banks off themselves also creates a leading narrative that there is a general sense of shame and guilt amoungst bankers, which will serve subconsiously to reinforce the rage of the masses (not just ZHers).

The trouble with this theory is that bankers have no shame.  If they had, they would not have accepted bonuses after crashing the system in 2008. Instead, they have doubled their looting and they system is even more unstable.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 03:44 | 4393064 LuchadorChumba
LuchadorChumba's picture

Eschucha amigo!

Muy cerca. Pero... you need to take a look again at the definitions.

Here, 11 means 'end...and beginning'... the creation of all 'things' in that number 11, nine times when squared creates all angles 1234567898765432 of which we construct all temporal information)

9 is 'the fall', which means the 'acceptance and consolidation of duality'

01/29 = 2+9 = 11 really suggests 111

'En-light-enment' is the last 'thing' you want.

40 to 50 suggest 4+5=9 and 40 and 50 are divisible by 10... which suggests in'TEN'sity. "Look at me!" "A'TEN'tion" Reader!

Y tambien, the fallen angel suggests the 'angles' that are created by light, or the 3 primary colors that create the first 'angles' within the hexagon that make sound and light subjective sensaton shapes.

Your 1776 is to be divided by 2 (duality) = 888 (the number of control), also known as the symbol of 8 or octagon with a 135degree outside angle (angel) which is 1+3+5 ... or 9

Aye aye aye!

Viva El Luchador!

(don't you ever listen to that pendejo Xavier!)


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 10:43 | 4391131 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

"So, with stocks a mere 4% off their highs, are so many high ranking and well respected bankers committing suicide?"

Because they know what's coming!


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:46 | 4387999 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

You can't even claim to be 'anti-establishment'.  They will accuse you of crypto-racism, saying that 'anti-establishment' is just a elaborate ruse for your racism.  see quennelle controversy in England/France.

On another note, "Jump, Jump"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:03 | 4388090 Australian Economist
Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:45 | 4388003 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Mulholland Falls.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:50 | 4388035 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Yep- no one commit suicide throwing themselves down a 50 ft gully......

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:56 | 4389943 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

No doubt all of the old appliances and used tires got in there themselves as well.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:48 | 4388021 SubjectivObject
SubjectivObject's picture

The be anti semantic, and blame "someone".

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:36 | 4389652 Sinnedi
Sinnedi's picture

CIA likes it when you blame Jews instead of bloodlines that have existed since 1000s of years and have been doing shit like this for 1000 of years

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:46 | 4388008 SilverDOG
SilverDOG's picture

He's wearing the face of a molestor, for certain.

The phone call "Die, or we'll tell everyone."


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:55 | 4388321 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Even lowly workers at a credit union in Nebraska bank roll that kind of 'business'.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:09 | 4388122 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Maybe. Or could be repentence of the damned, sorry he got caught.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:27 | 4388666 spankthebernank
spankthebernank's picture

These guys were killed! They knew too much. What a fucking sordid game!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:46 | 4388717 geminiRX
geminiRX's picture

I wonder if his car was hacked?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:05 | 4388100 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.  Jamie Dimon, who has much more opportunity, is not going to end this way.  He will either end dying of old age attended by numerous young lady friends, or hanging from a lamp post at the hands of others.  My bet is the former, although he deserves the latter. 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:13 | 4388137 adr
adr's picture

I prefer a return to quartering for Dimon. Maybe we can play a little game. How far can Jamie Dimon's intestines stretch down Fifth Ave?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:39 | 4387941 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Comeon you ZHers you all know what really happened. 

This banker saw an abandoned newborn holding a dollar and jumped down the embankment to take the dollar.

(reedited to unedited)

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:45 | 4387994 illyia
illyia's picture

"So, with stocks a mere 4% off their highs, are so many high ranking and well respected bankers committing suicide?"

And, the missing question is..... "Why"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:54 | 4388056 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Or perhaps saw a newborn not holding a dollar and jumped down the embankment to put one of those debt instruments into its hand?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 23:31 | 4390484 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

You can get a repayment term of 50 years!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 09:21 | 4391029 unrulian
unrulian's picture

the poor kid already owes $54,331.41 (before unfunded liabilities) in just federal debt, one more wouldn't have made much of a difference, but atleast he died trying

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:30 | 4387899 PT
PT's picture


A good start? 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:46 | 4388001 aerojet
aerojet's picture

When Goldman's HQ is in ashes, we'll know humanity has chosen life.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:46 | 4388297 walküre
walküre's picture

trending #bankstersuicide

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:37 | 4387938 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

What's would be German for 'Squid Night, or Night of the Squid"?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:41 | 4387963 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Die Nachte von Squidensheister.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:46 | 4388013 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture


Heh, heh, heh, hee, hee, hee, hee....Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:13 | 4388138 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:48 | 4388719 frenzic
frenzic's picture



sorry did not read further down

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:49 | 4388301 walküre
walküre's picture

Nackte Tittenfische ?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:48 | 4388302 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:44 | 4388495 linniepar
linniepar's picture

She'll have the knockwurst. I'll have the same.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:41 | 4387973 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Someone's been practicing their Vince Fostering in preparation for Hillary's presidency.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:25 | 4388188 kralizec
kralizec's picture

I bet the body was still warm as they wheeled it into the crematorium.  Goodbye evidence.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:29 | 4387904 dryam
dryam's picture

Who jumps down an "embankment" to commit suicide? 

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:35 | 4387932 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

He was short on options.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:50 | 4388029 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Tearing it up, diaper boy, tearing it up. That one was a groaner, but goooood!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:29 | 4388212 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

I so appreciate puns. 


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:18 | 4388162 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Em-'bank'-ment.  Ironic?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:28 | 4388204 XitSam
XitSam's picture

cover up the blunt instrument blow to the head

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:10 | 4388379 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Falling down an embankment. Really, that would be like falling from back of a moving train at 10mph.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 03:17 | 4390818 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I think President Obama should initiate another one of those special investigations followed by putting Eric Holder on the case. They have an amazing record of getting to the bottom of things.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:36 | 4387935 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

The foot through the window was not originally intended.... just happened in the shoot. Unrelated question... why did Michael fire Tom?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:08 | 4388108 Conax
Conax's picture

It was the old Don that had him fired. Mike was just doing what his dad recommended.  Tom had shown himself a bit weak (and a little stupid) during the family's Solozzo trouble. Solozzo captured and threatened him, then he sort of took Solozzo's side trying to get Santino to go along with the deal.  Failing to tell Sonny that he had been captured was a big FU. 

Mike lost his brother and figured it was partly Tom's fault, and that he was useless as a war time Consiglieri.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:44 | 4388485 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Most concise on point correct analysis. :)


Relatedly, if Sonny hadn't rushed out to go to his sister's without telling anyone when Carlo beats her after Sonny's warning/beatdown - (1) Sonny might not have been gunned down at the toll booth & (2) Everyone would have known much earlier that Carlo was working for the enemy.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:29 | 4388220 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Good question..

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:35 | 4387937 Jerome Lester H...
Jerome Lester Horwitz's picture

Haha...Leave the gun, take the Cannoli!

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:23 | 4388180 Fredo Corleone
Fredo Corleone's picture

"Can you get me off the hook, Tom ? For old times' sake ?"

"Can't do it, Sally."

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:36 | 4388481 therover
therover's picture

It has to be said

'Leave the gun...take the cannoli's'

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:24 | 4387874 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Some rats can't be allowed to exit the ship.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:35 | 4387933 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Shucks, we're only down 4%

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:13 | 4388390 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture

Warm up stage

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:11 | 4388620 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

"Having trouble at work"

Any thinking person trying to understand how Keynesianism could actually work, would certainly be having trouble at work.

Perhaps someone threw "The road to serfdom", on his desk, just as a joke one day.

Poor sod.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:26 | 4387875 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Doc Holiday..."the stress was more than he could bear"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:10 | 4389557 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

You're no daisy! You're no daisy at all. Poor soul, you were just too high strung.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:28 | 4387888 booboo
booboo's picture

"So, with stocks a mere 4% off their highs, are so many high ranking and well respected bankers committing suicide?"
One word......Leverage

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:50 | 4388036 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

These are some great jokes here, nice double.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:07 | 4388107 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

EMs, India and maybe Japan.

See that wall of water coming towards us ?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:17 | 4388413 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

At 25 to 1 a 4% drop means game over. Keep jumping you fuckers.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:39 | 4387959 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Ya right "before falling down a 40- to 50-foot embankment".  Find it hard to believe the equivilent of 4-5 story jump.  Only if preceded by a blow to the skull, then tumbled down the emBANKment to coverup.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:42 | 4388275 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Keep killing yourselves you assholes, with any luck the system could be purged by the end of summer.

We need some politicians to join in the party. :)

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:46 | 4388294 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

Why Crash, how could you say something like that? It'll take at least until the Fall, ahem, to get them all "out the window", as it were. And politicians are too much of narcissists to ever think of killing themselves, unless caught with kiddie porn. And even then they usually lack the decency to off themselves.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:19 | 4388414 recidivist
recidivist's picture

Are you predicting the Defenestration of Wall Street?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 18:06 | 4389544 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

+100 for "defenestration", though I'm a backdoor man by trade. Truth be told, I'm just too damned old to be jumping out of windows anymore. At parties I love to pass out on the veranda, though I am loathe to admit I sometimes don't make it that far.

As far as removing the windows, unless we weld shut the fire escape doors they'll just go to the roof to lemming themselves over. No, I think that what Wall Street needs is actually "defesterization". And yes, I made that. ;)

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:59 | 4388341 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I'm willing to bet that the only bankers who are committing 'suicide' are the ones who are having a crisis of conscience and threatening to come clean. Or like Warrior Class suggested; they know where the bodies are buried. In other words, don't be looking for Corzine, Dimon, or Blankfein, et. al. to making any flying leaps.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:49 | 4388505 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

I am not so sure about that Overfed. Dimon, Blankfein and Corzine know much about the looting, where the bodies are buried. They may become political liabilities and dissapear someday, or plane crash etc.

Funy thing about Fascism. The corporations that once felt themselves immune become tax targets later, we all realize a government will do damn near anything to survive.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:12 | 4388622 moneybots
moneybots's picture

"Suicide?  Or, Suicided?"


Third in a week.  Is some major financial fraud about to come to light?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:43 | 4388704 InflammatoryResponse
InflammatoryResponse's picture

it is assisted suicide.  except they usually start spelling the word with an "M"


Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:24 | 4387863 y3maxx
y3maxx's picture

Could these three “Suicides” be the work of an Anti Banker Vigilante?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:29 | 4387906 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"Could these three “Suicides” be the work of an Anti Banker Vigilante?"

Stop it.  I'm getting all misty.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:37 | 4388482 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Umm... absolutely NOT.

Vigilantes would not operate in a manner to appear accidental, as it fails to "send a message."

Lots of "accidents/suicides" though... well, that's more like an internal clean-up operation. Useful tools sometimes lose their operative value, turning into a liability.

If it is a real suicide? Then it means that whatever offer he was given, this was his best choice.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:41 | 4387966 HellFish
HellFish's picture

If it is post his paypal address I'd like to make a donation.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:29 | 4388217 XitSam
XitSam's picture

If it is a vigilante, would they want the deaths to appear to be suicides?

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:05 | 4388586 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

More likely a banker version of Wilford Brimley in The Firm.  Who knows...maybe these three all made the mistake of going to their boss with evidence of fraud in economic reporting by the Fed.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:41 | 4387979 Hayabusa
Hayabusa's picture

Appears to be suicide? 

Comon!  Are you telling us he went outside, jumped a 4 foot fence and died tumbling down a 40-50 foot embankment?  Hmmm, this is exactly how a wealthy successful well educated 50 year-old would plan his own suicide isn't it?  /sarc

They better keep CSI out of this one.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:48 | 4388016 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 15:05 | 4388799 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

When the investigators are told by their superiors that it WAS a suicide, then it would APPEAR to be suicide.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:45 | 4387990 Hayabusa
Hayabusa's picture

Appears to be suicide? 

Comon!  Are you telling us he went outside, jumped a 4 foot fence and died tumbling down a 40-50 foot embankment?  Hmmm, this is exactly how a wealthy successful well educated 50 year-old would plan his own suicide isn't it?  /sarc

They better keep CSI out of this one.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 12:16 | 4388151 Blano
Blano's picture

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 15:42 | 4388968 V in PA
V in PA's picture

I see what you did there. ;)

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 13:11 | 4388382 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Just like Jimmy The Gent did to the others involved in the Lufthanza heist! Is it really any different..........

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 16:20 | 4389139 ATM
ATM's picture

Or perhaps the OWS crowd has gone militant?

Wed, 02/05/2014 - 17:33 | 4405567 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Exactly, sounds like someone or someones broke his neck and threw him over the embankment trying to make it look like the embankment and fall killed him.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:22 | 4387858 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

He didn't committ suicide.  He was suicided.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:30 | 4387907 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

"You didnt kill that"

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:33 | 4387928 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

If you like your soul you can keep your soul.  Period.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:56 | 4388059 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

"You see what happens, Larry!?"


That'll show you other economists not to publish anything bearish with your $246Billion portfolios....

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:25 | 4387868 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

You see this? Its the rats scattering from boiler room because the ship is about to go down.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:30 | 4387894 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

One more reason to cross the street when passing any bank or financial house HQs over 5 stories high.

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 14:49 | 4388730 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

OK..."it's raining men"...

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