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Europe Is Set To Mandate "Remote Stopping Device" In All Cars For Police Use

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

Well this sounds like one of the worst ideas I have heard of in a long time. Naturally, it would emerge from the EU, the sorriest excuse for a fake government the world has ever seen.

While I have reported previously on regulatory efforts to put all sorts of invasive mandatory devices in U.S. automobiles (from October of last year Big Brother is Coming to Your Car), this idea from the EU take things to a whole other level of insanity.

From the BBC:

A device that would enable police to stop vehicles remotely is being considered by an EU-wide official working group, it has emerged.


The feasibility of such technology is being examined by members of the European Network of Law Enforcement Technology Services (Enlets).


The technology could impact on both road safety and civil liberties.

Civil liberties? What are those?

The BBC understands it would take several years for any such technical proposal to be drafted.


One EU document, from 4 December, sets out the Enlets 2014-20 work programme as including: “Remote Stopping Vehicles”.


It says “this project will work on a technological solution that can be a ‘build in standard’ for all cars that enter the European market”.


It is not clear what cost implications that would have for car makers.

No, but the implications for the peasant class are crystal clear.

The work of Enlets is little known and has emerged in part through documents published by the civil liberties campaign group Statewatch.

These people are out of control.

Full article here.


[ZH: Perhaps this utter insanity would be more palatable with a different marketing angle? At least we can have a laugh as the encroachment on personal privacy and civil liberties continues unabated]


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Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:18 | 4391380 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Came here for the ass.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:18 | 4391384 agent default
agent default's picture

Stayed for the train wreck.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:21 | 4391387 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

they coulda used that instead on Hastings and saved them the trouble of blowin' him up

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:31 | 4391400 666
666's picture

The law will be repealed as soon as the cops stop a politician in his car.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:33 | 4391409 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Uh, no.  Politicians will be able to purchase cars without such devices.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:39 | 4391419 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

Can I hack the device and stop cars on a lonely stretch of road to rob the passengers?  This should be fun...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:49 | 4391436 PT
PT's picture

Yeah, I'm wondering how this thing will work.  Will they point something at the car like a TV remote control?  Or will it be computerised and work off the number plate? i.e. Can I have a reflective car so the signal bounces off and stops the police car or can I just put false plates on my car and some other poor sucker's car stops?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:50 | 4391439 PT
PT's picture

If I change my name to J Corzine, J Dimon or M Carney will the signal be ignored and my car continue on its way?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:53 | 4391449 CH1
CH1's picture

And yet the masses continue to obey.

So long as they do, why should the overlords give a shit?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:57 | 4391455 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

Next up: a remote-controlled device that the police can use to halt the blood flow to your brain through your neck arteries.  As seen in the movie Escape From New York.  You thought that plot element was fiction?  

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:29 | 4391471 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

These people are out of control.


Sadly, it's the other way around.


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:46 | 4391542 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture



But that's some really nice booty there Tylers!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:15 | 4391594 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Not long from now all cars will be computer controlled so this is an inevitability. Lots of higher end cars are already (theoretically) hackable. 

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:18 | 4391598 BellyBrain
Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:01 | 4391688 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Came to ZH for financial news today.

Got sidetracked by DAT ASS.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:08 | 4391691 Pheonyte
Pheonyte's picture

Too bad it's photoshopped.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:30 | 4391726 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Ya, eyes don't care

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 20:27 | 4392277 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I brake for that...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 20:45 | 4392312 Pheonyte
Pheonyte's picture

To the two assholes who junked me, want proof? Here you go:

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 13:01 | 4393521 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

I'd take either one home with me.

Hell, I'd stop my car to see either one.

If the E.U. wants to do this on the cheap, all they need to do is to hire some girls that look like that.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:20 | 4391814 Duke of Earl
Duke of Earl's picture

Cars are already computer controlled.  Just not remotely.  If they add hackable honeypot targets onto cars like this, well...the results will be interesting.  After the first high profile hacks, new car sales will plummet.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:08 | 4391690 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

I was also going to point out On-Star and all those other nifty conveniences the car companies offer, for a fee no less, those douche bags. And the numb nuts who buy that shit. Crazy. But I have a new VW from 2012 that I bet has the data trackers on my driving and most likely has an override if not a direct utility to remote start or remote stop the engine should the "authorities" decide.

I really should dig into the engine and electronics to see if those kinds of devices are indeed in my car. Need a few more skills and a few more tools.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:11 | 4391473 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Well, I'd be looking for a low-mileage Faraday Cagemobile.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:51 | 4391444 yrad
yrad's picture

This was as inevitable as gun confiscation.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:36 | 4391636 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Slavery to solve youth unemployment?  Didn't they try that in ancient times?

Well, hell, the planet could probably do with some more pyramids!  Make work, bitchez!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:18 | 4391482 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Microwave your licence plate renewal sticker to destroy any embedded RFID tag. I do it every time. I can't hurt.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:24 | 4391606 One World Mafia
One World Mafia's picture

Does it heat up in the mic?  Given the small size, you might have to boil it.  I don't think there's anything in those little stickers yet.  I've heard plans to scrap them for something new.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:38 | 4391640 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

No there is nothing in the stickers. New York state has the chip embedded in the plate itself. You can't do anything to really prevent them from accessing it as it's powered by remote signal. As in they point the scanner at the plate and the scanner's emissions are what powers the plates.

Not really easy to block the chip itself.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:44 | 4391658 General Decline
General Decline's picture

The sticker does spark when you put it in the microwave. That doesn't necessarily mean there's a chip in it. It does have reflective properties so that may be where the spark comes from? New York embeds it in the plate itself? Interesting. Need to think on that one a litte bit. There must be a reasonable way to smoke it. Bake it in the oven at 400F?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:13 | 4391700 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

Just put the license plates in this or put this over the license plates. You'll be clean. ;-)

Damn, I have NYS plates too.



Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:21 | 4391713 Baldrick
Baldrick's picture

 large magnet?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 21:29 | 4391735 One World Mafia
One World Mafia's picture

If it's the only thing in the mic, that's like running it empty and will damage the mic if on too long.  If it's metallic that could cause sparks especially if it's less than an inch from an oven surface.

"Temperatures up to 135 degrees F will not damage electronic equipment, according to Virginia Tech."

Edit: There are ways to cook with metal in mics safely, but I've not tried.  The thing with putting small things in is that they can end up in a cold zone and never get zapped, but you can put them on a rotating device so they do.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:24 | 4391818 Duke of Earl
Duke of Earl's picture

Just snip the antenna.  I used a hole punch on my credit card.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 19:55 | 4392194 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

The plate itself is the antennae.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:18 | 4391488 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Hi PT - probably a satellite-based system that is linked through your car's GPS navigation system. 

Oh, and once you're stopped your cell phone won't work either, so no videoing the gestapo thugs as they stomp your ass.

And if you do foolishly give the boyz in black any shit and happen to have a pacemaker - well, you know the rest.

Really old cars with a mechanical distributor and zero transmit/receive electronics ( except a radio) will be at a premium - until they are taken off the roads for safety reasons.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:41 | 4391539 General Decline
General Decline's picture

I used to have a 1973 Mercedes Benz diesel. Once it was running, it's operation was 100% mechanical. I miss that car.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 13:08 | 4393537 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


A word to the wise: The electrical solenoid that allows fuel to the injection pump is suseptable to E.M.P. (along with the alternating current generator, 12v storage battery, all the electrical guages, and assorted other devices that you don't think about normally that rely on copper windings and induction).

I am building a tinfoil hat for my Cummins 359 diesel now.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:41 | 4391649 algol_dog
algol_dog's picture

You can be sure the criminals will figure out a way around it, while the public gets it up the ass. Like gun control, only the intended targets (criminals), and the corporation known better as, the US of A, get to have the guns.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:58 | 4391686 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Yeah, I'm wondering how this thing will work.  Will they point something at the car like a TV remote control?  Or will it be computerised and work off the number plate? i.e. Can I have a reflective car so the signal bounces off and stops the police car or can I just put false plates on my car and some other poor sucker's car stops?


This device can EASILY be defeated, there have been licence covers that block the letters/numbers for year, same tech could do it to special guns.Readble with naked eye, but not scannable, and can beset to be of totally.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 13:22 | 4393561 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


Even the earlier OBDII cars can be remotely controlled to some extent, but with the advent of the Combined Area Network and 'fly-by-wire' engine control and braking and steering systems, this task is quite easily accomplished remotely. Any (ANY!) vehicle with ANY form of two-way communication (they ALL heve a version of 'On-Star' now) is quite unsafe in this regard. EACH INDIVIDUAL car has its' own identifying number and unique transmitter. Tracking the automobile after it has been stolen (using OnStar) and shutting off ignition and fuel systems has been in existence since, well, about 2009. Information regarding this:

All OnStar equipped vehicles have Stolen Vehicle Tracking, which can provide the police with the vehicle's exact location, speed and direction of movement.

Starting in the 2009 model year, General Motors began equipping some new vehicles with Stolen Vehicle Slowdown. This feature allows OnStar to remotely slow down the stolen vehicle. The service is also expected to help reduce the risk of property damage, serious injuries or fatalities resulting from high-speed pursuits of stolen vehicles. Customers may opt out of that function.[3] The first successful use of this service occurred in October 2009 when a stolen Chevrolet Tahoe was recovered and its suspected thief was apprehended.[4]

Also in 2009, General Motors began equipping some new vehicles with Remote Ignition Block, allowing OnStar to remotely deactivate the ignition so when the stolen vehicle is shut off, it cannot be restarted.[5]

The tecnology needed to diagnose computers on wheels requires that the interfacing device be capable of taking command of each individual component within the entire vehicle in order to troubleshoot and repair issues which are present. I do this routinely, every day. 

Don't tell me, let me guess. You are one of those people who simply puts gas in the car and drives're not BLONDE, by chance?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:09 | 4391470 General Decline
General Decline's picture

The police state would never be in possession of such technology if the engineers who designed it had a conscience and a knowledge of history. The dumbass in the cubicle writing the software to do this thinks he's fighting terrorism or crime when what he's really doing is assisting in enslaving humanity.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:46 | 4391660 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

As a person with a lot of friends in that community I have done my best to wake them up to what is going on around them. I have been moderately successful. They are aware something is going on, but they still are dealing with a large influential progressive cult mentality that makes up most of the entertainment and management industry.


Basically you have to cut through the amount of bullshit and propaganda that they are exposed to on a daily basis to make them understand what personal responsibility actually means.


I can tell you from experience the managerial staffers are the most ardent and fervent fanatics to the progressive cause. Those people tend to be the only real true believers of their own bullshit. It's sort of scary the positions that some of those people have with some of the ridiculous lunacy they tend to believe. The Middle Management types are the worst for buying into the statist dream of living wealthy off everyone's expense. Those are the guys I have noticed that tend to live in a fantasyland of their own delusional making. Some of them are out right frightening what they believe is real and how they think things actually work...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:57 | 4391684 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Agree with you, NS. I'm an engineer my self and interact with other engineers on a daily basis. It's amazing how many apparently intelegent people have their heads buried so deep in the sand. I once made a comment at the water cooler that sandal-wearing goat hearders don't keep me up at night. I'm more worried about the guys in the 3 piece suits in Washington and Wall Street. I got looks like I just insulted their mothers. I love being the "fringe whacko" at the office though. F em'

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:46 | 4391863 algol_dog
algol_dog's picture

Nothing amazing about any of this. Look at history again & again and you will see it repeated. Ever wondered how Caligula got away with the things he did in Rome. Was it really him, or the people around him, who were able gain the most from such a corrupted state?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 22:37 | 4392595 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

you'll be on the short list on next round of outsourcing..  regardless if what you do can't be replaced..    they just circlejerk themselves in their presentations anyway

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:18 | 4391705 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

I could not agree with you more. As deviant as the overlords are, the most sinister are the helpers who provide all of the tools to enable the collapse. I want to find each and every one of them so I can skin each one alive and watch them suffer the anguish of the billions their actions are tormenting.

Evil evil mother fuckers, these enablers. And we should be ostracizing them for making such shitty decisions / choices.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 22:39 | 4392597 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

you really feel like going to that armpit called India?  I think the best thing for the world would be for China to carpet clean that infested country

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 10:19 | 4392946 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

Although I believe I understand what you're getting at, you can't just blame someone else for the evil that is present in every culture / civilization. Much of the dirty work is provided by willing locals.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:12 | 4391474 PT
PT's picture


## Forced in
Like cattle you run
Stripped of
Your life's worth ... ## 

The song was about something else.
But so many times, those particular words reverberate through my brain. 

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:51 | 4391675 CPL
CPL's picture

Yes.  Anything sold on the road...cop car...tank...porche...those fancy over priced mini vans.  Every last one of them all have an on board ECU that can be accessed with blue tooth (yeah, blue tooth is in everything) and a cellphone with a terminal emulator.  Connect 7e2 (sometimes 8n1) 19200baud with the terminal, type ? at the prompt and have fun.  You can turn on blinkers, brakes or fuck the engine by forcing all the spark plugs to fire at the same time by changing the timing and seize the engine.  Doesn't take much with the eco/vtec/hemi engines (anything after 2004) most everything is run through the onboard ECU.

Or if they aren't looking too hard and you just don't want the car going too far.  Coathanger in the grill sticking in and a belt eventually catches the coat hanger and the coat hanger becomes a V4/6/8/12 powered dremel bit in the main engine block.  There are plenty of ways to mess with a car so it stalls out and becomes a lawn ornament.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:53 | 4391679 Dugald
Dugald's picture

The next form of Highway robbery, hack the vehicle and demand a fee to allow it to proceed, done every day with computers, nothing new here, next bullshit idea........

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:54 | 4391441 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I'd long electronic devices that emit a strong enough EMP at short distance, to "Stop the Cop".  ;-)

p.s. What do you get when you cross an Onion with a Donkey?



.... You get an Ass that makes your eyes water.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:57 | 4391880 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

"They say a mule is stubborn, man, but don't you be a fool,

Don't ever let a donkey sneak up on your mule...."


-- James Cotton, "The Mule"

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:34 | 4391408 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture american statists and bureaucrats furiously rub one out.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:23 | 4391717 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Easier shot for the drones

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:33 | 4391407 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

How long will it take the Chinese to produce a device that will defeat remote controlled operation operation of the engine and brakes? Hint: They already do!


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:54 | 4391448 PT
PT's picture

Short EFI long carbs?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:15 | 4391476 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

Definitely a great ass.

When GM put this capability into on-star, the 'net was instantly flooded with info pages on how to disable it.  Of course, you lose onstar in the process...if you care.  They were ever so slightly tricky - it takes two fuse removals in most GM cars...notj ust one obvious one.  Will the EU do better?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:10 | 4391794 Andre
Andre's picture

Dyke the antenna wires?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:15 | 4391479 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

LoL! Thanks for the coffee all over the computer.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:58 | 4391565 Pickleton
Pickleton's picture

Ten bucks says, when she takes those off, there's an indelible stain...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:50 | 4391668 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Who cares, not sure I know anyone that rams it home on some random before making her shower first. I know I don't, I make the bitch shower first.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:13 | 4391798 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

You can shower them all you like Nid but what keeps me in business is not removed by a shower. At least she'll smell ok but she's certainly not "clean". It certainly amazes me how much men profess to love their penises and then take such risks with it. GC is getting so resistant now it will soon be untreatable and it tends to wander to joints when left untreated. This is not the time to be banging randoms without a condom IMHO. But to each his own.


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 19:56 | 4392196 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

You missed my point, and obviously the joke...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:30 | 4391589 Frank -THE COIN -
Frank -THE COIN -'s picture

Franky Like. I see a new place to Park my Car.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:48 | 4391666 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Already a done deal here, cops can just fire a portable EMP into the direction of any newer vehicle and FRY the systems.


As for the ASS, anyone saying she in't inviting a RAPE is insane.These wopmen kill me, when they dress like this and bitch when men stare or make remarks.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:27 | 4391721 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

So, do you think NFL players are "inviting rape" too? At any rate, hope things are going well for you in Kuwait.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 00:06 | 4392817 prains
prains's picture

Came here for the ass.


stayed to stare at the zipper

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:20 | 4391383 WhyWait
WhyWait's picture

One more reason to keep that old Honda or Olds running, older the better and hang the cost.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:02 | 4391567 ebear
ebear's picture

Road Warrior!  You can run, but you cannot hide!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:21 | 4391385 squib
squib's picture

I need to eat a plum now. Must bite...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:17 | 4391486 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

And here I thought I was the ony one who noticed that ass....

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:32 | 4391386 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

This news is at least 3 days "new" and this bum rated milf
has been for ten years running to no avail.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:24 | 4391389 tongue.stan
tongue.stan's picture

I have a sudden urge to encroach on her personal privacy and civil liberties.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:53 | 4391447 knukles
knukles's picture

Tongue punch her fart box

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:46 | 4391661 pods
pods's picture

Thanks knuk,  if ever there was a time for that saying!



Sat, 02/01/2014 - 16:09 | 4391693 jon dough
jon dough's picture

Thanks for the hearty laugh K.

Mrs dough now thinks I'm crazy(or crazier than usual).

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:58 | 4391452 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Maybe it's time for bareback riding?

I'm talking about replacing the EU car with a horse, of course.   ;-)  ;-)

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:24 | 4391390 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Back doors by GCHQ.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:28 | 4391395 The Reich
The Reich's picture

Welcome to the new EUSSR fascism.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:29 | 4391398 farragut
farragut's picture

Unfortunately, companies who make drones are sure to be more concerned about this than the general public: "Hey, that's what *our* products are for...!"

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:31 | 4391401 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

So GPS is not enough right?  I keep saying people can't tell where the virtual worlds work and leave off wiht the real world, perfect example here.  Somebody writes some code, then they justify it with some studies, next thing you know it shows up. 

These folks over there have bought in hook line and sinker and every stick of code and devices that it attaches to does not have value or ethics for that matter.  We are way over sold.  I just read an article the other day that the new Penatgon Stealth jet can't fly, bugs in the code..I would hope this has some priority when it comes to what our Department of Defense chooses to use to defend the US.  I bring this up as to what happens let's say if this passes and this code has bugs?  Oh yeah...shoot it could execute an algorithm that could do all kinds of other little neat things...kill switches on markets are on thing but that's the virtual world if you will as it's software but now you are talking about stopping a rather powerful tangible we all use..pretty scary. 

I said the movie "HER" is almost here as there folks at least halfway there now with not being able to sort our the real world and the virtual worlds.  How far does justificaiton and duping as well as control get to far as the coders want it ot as long as someone is buying.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:32 | 4391404 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Europe to mandate a new tool to help tech-savvy rapists....

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:23 | 4391501 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Or to turn geeks into rapists.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:31 | 4391405 Last of the Mid...
Last of the Middle Class's picture

woo hoo doo do dee doo dooo. purple ass gives Barney wood!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:58 | 4391453 booboo
booboo's picture

as HE turns around..... But wait, these cars might "fly out of control and hit a bus load of "chilin" or crash into the baby ward of a hospital...oh the humanity so this will not stand" said the statist in the beer delivering drone thread.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:33 | 4391406 DeliciousSteak
DeliciousSteak's picture

Oh no, the cops will probably stop vehicles at random times without any reason - a decade from now, when they maybe, possibly, might have the capability! Oy vey, this is worse than the holocaust!

Zerohedge can be hilarious, but this takes the cake. LMAO.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 22:23 | 4392548 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

Hey look, he up voted himself.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 22:32 | 4392577 akak
akak's picture

The douchebags almost always do --- and immediately, which makes it even more obvious (and even more of a hoot).

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:35 | 4391411 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Just wait until until a government installs the internal Taser.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:43 | 4391425 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

and the cocknocker, a fist that punches you in the balls.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 06:46 | 4393130 PT
PT's picture


( Yes, don't panic.  It's from The Onion Movie. )

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:38 | 4391412 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

They can do this in the US already, with the human brain. Its called Facebook.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:41 | 4391423 akak
akak's picture

Stop the world, I have a tweet!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:20 | 4391478 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Conquer the world, one tweet at a time.

I imagine 'tweeters' thinking like this.


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 18:57 | 4392061 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

We do it already in Atlanta when something called snow falls from the sky.

Sun, 02/02/2014 - 06:49 | 4393133 PT
PT's picture

But this is a computerised remote car - stopper.  It shall be called, ... Windows 8!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:37 | 4391414 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

And they'll name this device something that sounds helpful and beneficial, something like, oh I don't know, maybe "Onstar?"

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:03 | 4391465 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Yes. Onstar has already been used for the purpose of
law enforcement.

The General Motors’ subscription-based service, which is often used to alert first responders to accidents or even let family members see where the car is driving, has the ability to shut down OnStar-enabled vehicles. This is just what was done to Brandon Holme’s car that was stolen from a West Dundee gas station and taken on a 40-mile, high-speed chase, according to Chicago’s CBS Local.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:16 | 4391481 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

True, but see my comment above.  If you don't like onstar - you can disable it by pulling a couple of fuses.  Info all over the 'net on how - depends a little on the model, but pull two fuses, and it's toast.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:39 | 4391415 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I have a 1992 Toyota Corolla and will probably have it for 20 more years.

They'll only be able to stop people with money enough to drive in new cars.

Other than Bankers do criminals drive new cars?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:40 | 4391541 gnomon
gnomon's picture

So in the future if you have an old vehicle that can not be technologically "hijacked" that will put you on the "terrorist" list.

Sorry guys, but you won't like the cure for this trend.  It is called civilizational collapse accompanied by malthusian knock-off effects.

The only way to shake these parasites is to set yourself and the village on fire.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:42 | 4391857 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Bankers often have vintage classics for weekend use, Bankers' Bitchez, not so much, they tend to prefer the latest model iCrapMobile.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:38 | 4391416 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

If you got distracted -> yep, it's real.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:59 | 4391462 Silver_K-9
Silver_K-9's picture

Gonna have to bookmark this... Gonna tell my wife I need some "alone" time...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:25 | 4391511 XitSam
XitSam's picture

"I'll be in my bunk."

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:25 | 4391505 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Sabibaby - that link is badly infected. But perhaps you already knew that.

Tylers - dump that post and ban the poster ASAP.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:34 | 4391839 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

Yeah buddy... good luck getting me banned. Maybe get rid of you instead :)

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:39 | 4391848 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

Three people are stupid enough to believe your fear mongering you americanspirit peace of shit.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:38 | 4391417 Lokking4AnEdge
Lokking4AnEdge's picture

If it comes with the girl in the picture-I will take it...actually - will take two.................

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:38 | 4391418 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Does this fascism make my ass look big?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:47 | 4391547 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Doggonit, the beefstew I was having for lunch will now have to be cleaned off my monitor...

Thanks nmewn!!, ya jackass. ;-)


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:53 | 4391677 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:41 | 4391421 climber
climber's picture

Wait so every company that sells cars in Europe will have to do this? What is stopping them from putting it on cars sold in America and just not telling anyone.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:40 | 4391422 Racer
Racer's picture

And what if this technology is not so 100% perfect and just does a stop all by itself with the car in the fast lane of the unlimited speed autobahn?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:41 | 4391424 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Its for your own good... right?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:46 | 4391431 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

No, it's for the children.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:53 | 4391435 akak
akak's picture

National security!



(Which, of course, ALWAYS means "government security".)

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:23 | 4391502 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

I knew somebody would think of the children.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:39 | 4391646 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

"If it saves one child in a carseat left on the car roof while pulling out of a Walmart store, it will be worth it."

Or someting like that.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:45 | 4391427 PennilessPauper
PennilessPauper's picture

This will be great for hackers who also are stalkers and rapists.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:49 | 4391440 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

The Highwayman Returns...

Starring Alec Baldwin

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 18:01 | 4391881 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

How about hackers who want to disable an entire city's law enforcement response for a brief window in order to do something productive? Complex systems can be a bitch when you're dependent on them.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:48 | 4391434 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Next step; they'll speed up your car on distance and give you a speeding ticket.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:58 | 4391454 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Do you know the best thing about claw hammers?  Hidden up a sleeve of a loose fitting jumper, or such like, they become very hidden.  When the boiling point is reached, they can easily be deployed straight into the palm of your hand, practice makes perfect mind.

And when one of these fucking government nazis gives out another blatantly fucking stupid 'Law', smack the cunt round the mouth with it.

At the very least it will shut the fucking little hitler up for a few days.

If you know what I mean.  We are ruled by incompetant, imbecilic peodophiles.  Period.  Lets give these cunts a touch of common sense.


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:01 | 4391456 falak pema
falak pema's picture

You can see how Charybdis and Scylla work hand in hand in this crazy world. 

What the EU does to regulate STATE CONTROL over the individual the CORPORATE face of USA does the same to DESTROY its own creation's : THE FREE INTERNET

2014: The Year America Broke The Internet - Business Insider


We really are on this ancient Odyssey, where State Totalitarian knee jerks (Charybdis) vie with the Oliarchy's hubris to run the world on its own private corporate terms (Scylla). 

Quite frankly, Scylla NSA and Google Internet take over is moar scary than these Charybdis itsy-bitsy-shitsy Eurocratic  crap brake-pedals-up-your-ass frustratingly irritating deals. 

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:00 | 4391458 yrbmegr
yrbmegr's picture

Two words: car kit

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:59 | 4391459 esum
esum's picture

you mean that in addition to the screen that blocks my plate from the traffic cam i now have to hire a techie to circumvent this device... ok all you hackers out there.... you figure out how to disable politicians cars .... or better yet...stop and lock doors and windows and turn heat up to 225 degrees....or max speed 15 mph and only in reverse.... jolly good show  

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 13:59 | 4391460 Duc888
Duc888's picture



Same as the traffic cameras....and all the "security" cameras installed around London 10+ years ago.


Everyone Stateside laughed.  Anyone laughing here now?


So, you can count on this being the rule for all new cars sold here and probably made into a law to retrofit older cars...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:01 | 4391461 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

That ass would stop anybody

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:00 | 4391463 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Who can possibly read the name of the company?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:18 | 4391466 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Just put a Faraday Cage around any little black box on your car that receives exterior signals. Visit your local hardware store for some wire mesh.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:21 | 4391496 akak
akak's picture

I'd rather put the politicians responsible for all this Orwellian police state madness in a faraway cage.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:32 | 4391519 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

I would like to strike them about the head and neck first. Then move on to tittie-twisters, foreskin tweezing, and finallly ballsack boxing.


Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:35 | 4391529 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

"Here are some seeds and a few months worth of food.  Do not leave the cage, and be sure to put on a show for the spectators every once in a while.  Good luck!"


Put the fuckers in a zoo.  It would be one of the most demeaning things possible for somebody who is used to ruling.  Let them have no power and put them on display.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:38 | 4391533 akak
akak's picture

Just make sure that they are in open cages with catwalks above them, so that the public can freely and liberally piss on their heads while claiming "according to the BLS, that golden shower you are experiencing is just rain.  Furthermore, it is for your own good".

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:14 | 4391475 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

Coincidentally, there is a push for a "kill switch" for cell phones, too:

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:36 | 4391530 akak
akak's picture

I might almost support that one --- as long as they apply it universally and at all times.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:14 | 4391477 Woodhippie
Woodhippie's picture

Is it just me or does anyone else think the more crazier these fuckers get the higher the number of people start to wake up?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:47 | 4391876 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Oh, it's you,

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:21 | 4391493 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Long 'remote stopping device' removal business...

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 17:50 | 4391883 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Between that and my tat removel abusiness, I'm gonna roll.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:23 | 4391495 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

"... The BBC understands it would take several years for any such technical proposal to be drafted...."


Europe is notorious for planning everything and executing little or nothing.


Now onto something more important - that purple set of tear drop shaped cheeks.....time for a spanking or what?????!!!!!


Turn that around and there's probably camel toe beyond belief!!!!!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:23 | 4391500 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

When are we going to put some "rules" on what governments are allowed to do?

Oh yeah, constitution(s)...

I forgot, governments don't obey the laws. Why should we...?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:25 | 4391513 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Hahahahahaha, fuckers.  The computer in my vehicle is a very simplistic and difficult to tamper with 1992 OBD1 and I have a manual transmission.  You'll not be fucking with the operation of it by the push of a button.  I'm going to drive the fucker into the ground, should gasoline be avaliable long enough for me to do so.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:37 | 4391524 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture


      The 'remote stopping device' should be an manditory implant for all central banksters.

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:40 | 4391537 JPMorgan
JPMorgan's picture

Buttastic. O-O

What's this post about again?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:44 | 4391544 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Well so much for Frau Merkel's anger over the NSA's snooping on her cell phone?...

Per Ed Snowden's latest interview.

Based on his comment(s) I'm pretty sure Germany ain't going to be one of his permanent or vacation destinations now or in the future?

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 15:36 | 4391633 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Thanks for the link, Nemo!

Sat, 02/01/2014 - 14:49 | 4391551 steelrules
steelrules's picture

I think this is the front side view.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!