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According To Bank Of America The Outlook For The Entire World Has "Deteriorated" Due To Cold US Weather
It really doesn't get funnier than this, and explains the 7 figure comp for the Bank of America authors who can certainly get matching compensation in the comedy circuit. From BofA's Naeem Wahid:
We recommend closing the short EUR/SEK trade that we initiated last week. While Swedish economic data have improved, as we expected, the global outlook has deteriorated – caused by a larger than expected weather effect in the US (the US ISM has fallen to 51.3, from December’s 56.5). As such we close out the trade at 8.8300 (entered at 8.8100) and look to reinitiate once risk appetite turns positive again.
In other words, the outlook for the global economy - that would be the economy of the entire world - has just taken a hit due to.... cold weather and snowfall during the US winter.... ..... .....
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BANK RUN. LAST ONE TO PANIC SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF!
Bank Of America Forces Depositors To Backstop Its $53 Trillion Derivative Book To Prevent A Few Clients From Departing The Bank
YELLEN FIRE THOSE PRINTERS UP, GOLD AND SILVER TO THE MOON!
you got to be s***ing me, cold weather, who would have thunk it
does that explain the government issue snow? http://rense.com/general96/fakesnow.html
As far as I know the government does not issue precipitation yet.
The first major challenge is to find a way to tax it... then commodify it... and then sell the rights to their corporate patrons...
so you weren't at woodstock?
Not only that I took the brown acid
Whisper Rumor that people at BankOfMerrillAmerica's ATMs are being greeted with the message:
"Do you really expect to withdraw $$$ in this kind of weather? FUCK YOU."
Funny no one ever notes that for the NE and upper midwest cold weather...the West has been very dry and sunny...but Cali RE is sliding anyway apparently due to cold NE conditions???
Can I blame my sunburn on Bank of America, or the cold US weather or the sun?
Signed: Confused
Cold weather, prune Yellin' creates shrinkage ?
Cold Gold ? heh.
I'm gonna need a thicker coat.
And we believed them too.
PDF Alter:
"Weather and Climate Modification"
http://www.nsf.gov/nsb/publications/1965/nsb1265.pdf
"Owning the Weather by 2025"
http://csat.au.af.mil/2025/volume3/vol3ch15.pdf
"Owning the Weather by 2025"
Speaking in my defence I did say 'yet'...
Owning the Weather
The military tried cloud seeding in Vietnam, why is there no mention of this for droughts in California, Africa, etc
That report from the '90s begins with, "With technology currently available..."
So the next-gen tech was not a theory, but a proven fact. HAARP construction began soon after. Why isn't our government using this technology to benefit us? The army visualized it as a weapon,and it's clear they're using it on us, as well as the rest of the world.
Look up Hurricane Sandy's 90 degree turn- everyone went to sleep happy, only to wake up and find the storm took a hard left turn to head straight into the city. Guess it's a good thing Goldman Sachs bought the Weather Channel... The "Polar Vortex" is directly related to the "Extreme High Pressure Bubble" that sat off Cali to create no rain for 13 months. Sure, it's crazy to say this was created on purpose... but at least we can ask why they aren't trying to mitigate these disasters. Instead, they pretend as if there's nothing they can do... fucking liars.
The current chemtrails you've heard about are metallic particles, which help heat up the atmosphere when zapped by HAARP. You can see actually this happening when the chemtrails vibrate into 'washboard' clouds. The atmosphere is heated, the air rises, sucking in cold air from somewhere else, altering the jet stream. It's not rocket science, it's simple, and the technology exists today.
have you heard about snow rollers yet? if not, do a search. they were all over OH/PA/W.VA last week. they're being 'splained away by "the experts" as a rare but utterly "natural phenomenon". funny thing is is that no one i've talked to so far ever remembers seeing them before, even old folks in their 80s & 90s.
Probably because those in their 80's and 90's didn't have 24/7 internet shit shoved down their throats before 1990.
Some dumb cunt in my office was explaining the horrible conditions in Atlanta last week, and how this has never happened.
Oh really? You dont think a 24/7 news drama cycle has anything to do with it?
It never snowd in ATL before? Nobody ever had to spend the night in their car? Or maybe, it didn't justify making the cover of Life magazine in 1960.
FFS, you are being fed bullshit all day every day. Back from the 30' to the early 90's, the only way to get the news was to go to the library and read local papers or wait for some BS summary from Time or Newsweek.
Snow Rollers are nothing special. It just takes a certain type of snow, specific layering and specific winds.
Drop the tinfoil and get back to work, you Serf!
haha, what if my work is designing tinfoil hats? ;~)
i know they take specific winds, blah, blah, blah, but the old timers i was around this weekend (who have seen plenty of winters with high winds & variable conditions) don't remember ever seeing them before, yet they're they were on the front lawn. but, they're old timers, so i guess their memory is fading, so their observations don't matter? or are their observations worth more than what most give them credit for?
and yes, i don't discount that the 24/7 drama cycle has something to do with it.
Most likely the sticky residue, sometimes web-like, that the chemtrails bring. The light dry snow that blows in these high winds is suddenly sticky and voila- snow rollers.
Americans are getting hit with high heating bills, credit card debt from xmas and obamacare.
The crash is on... Just wait until they see their 401 down 15 percent.
BREAKING NEWS;
No one saw winter coming- Janet Yellen
LOL - just shows how messed up our financial system is. Cold winter = global recession - then I wonder what happens if a major power actually goes to war...
Puxatawney Phil fucked us!!!
- Janet Yellen
No. B of A is trying to fuck us.
http://newsroom.bankofamerica.com/pressreleases/environment
Drudge just red head lined 'DOW down 300'...if they aren't careful the people will find out....that could cause another round of weather related not-shopping....or somrthing like that...
Cold weather catches economists by surprise every winter.
With a name like Bank of America, the attitude of "american exceptionalism" should be a given.
If economic climate scientists were employed more often these events could be anticipated and prepared for.
Every ECS knows that if the Baltic Dry Index collapses we can expect cold weather due to reduction of CO2 emissions. Or if a country is undergoing intense austerity and cannot afford oil or gas.
I mean if the economic climate scientists were consulted before your run of the mill climate scientist who knows nothing about the Baltic Dry Index goes on an expedition to the antarctic as many as 50 of this type can become trapped in sea ice in a single antarctic expedition.
Look at what happened to these ordinary climate scientists because they failed to consult an economic climate scientist.
joannenova.com.au/2013/12/antarctic-ice-swallows-boat-media-spin/
The same applies to ordinary economists who fail to consult with one...
It actually probably was the cold weather. Give the fed(s) a few more years and the global economy will be so leveraged that if some pakastani teenager doesn't buy a pack of cigarettes on time, it will all come crashing down.
That is pure gold. :)
pods
Funny how the weather was never blamed for any poor economic performances or sagging data in the USA until quite recently.
It eerily reminds me of the 60-odd consecutive "bad harvests due to weather" (oh, but NEVER due to central planning!) in the Soviet Union prior to their collapse.
Global warming is a bitch!
Beat me to it.
Back to the Bank of America comedy hour........
Some things never change.
Ba(n)ck(side) of America ?
It all comes out on ZH.
B**ebank of America ?
Yep, and then it will be the drought in the West (which actually will fuck this place up economically) and the flooding in the midwest wont help from the triple average snowfall, If we can get another hurricane to smoke the Northeast in October, the "end of the world as we know it" alarms should start ringing pretty loud!!!
can't have a bank run if nobody has any money but the bankers
Cloudy, with a chance of suicides.
Those arent raindrops falling from the sky. Gonna need a more sturdy unbrella.
Bead Shell game. This has nothing to do with the 500 year extreme drought in Cal., nor the 40 degree temp anomalies in the extreme north, it's all about some fat-assed midwestern american football fan not returning to Walmart this week.
FUxxck the weather and buy GAZ
And a butterfly flapped its wings in Tiawan..
Haha, bank holidays around the world due to cold weather.
When The musics ovah...Oh when the musics ovah, yeah. When the musics ovah, turn out the lights, turn out the lights, turn out the liiiights. - Jim
DAMN YOU AL GORE!
Time to bomb the clouds and cold air!!!!!!!!! Merica needs your help.
If it's hot this summer, we're really & truly bloody double-fucked.
Golly, it snows in winter, who could have guessed?
As sung by Prince, "Sometimes it snows in April." (Under the Cherry Moon - 1986). We better hope he's wrong.
Is weather ever a reason for above-expectation results, or does that work only in one direction like BLS adjustments?
So if you start your gas guzzling trucks and warm the globe, you'll be doing mankind a favor.
H 5 5?
.-- - ..-. / -.. --- . ... / .... / ..... / ..... / -- . .- -.
Hey there now, We don't say that kind of shit on the ZH
It's that darn "Winter" thing again that no one could see coming.
Before long it will be that "Summer" thing, with hot temperatures and people sweating due to an unforseen "Summer".
At some point the unforseen "Crash" will happen all over again, with most never making the connection to "Central Banking".
This is why climate change is such a concern, it makes the forcasting so hard.
Is this the same BofA with over 40 trillion of derivative paper in the same FDIC-backed accounts as savers?
Roll the motherfucking guillotines already,
nothing changes otherwise.
Surely that was a repeat of an Obozo quote.
If Faux news can cause Benghazi , why not ?
Please stop calling me Shirley.
Thanks, Leslie N.
Damn U.S. weather! It's why I can't make my student loan payments anymore. Ditto for my car payment. Glad to know BoA understands.
That nitwit Bob Pissonme should be working over at the Weather Channel.
Is the Bank of America headquartered in Greece?????
Nope, Baltimore.
meanwhile Russians laughin in Siberia.
"cold, you Americans do not know anything about cold"
Right! Up here on the Canadian prairie we are having a bit of a warm spell. It only went down to -20 deg C last night.
Actually, 4 years ago, we got snow in Dickinson ND in the first week of June. It was very weird.
Like the Russians know anything about cold.
If they did they wouldn't have built the Winter Olympics in Sochi...
They wrote that for a laugh.
What logic! From that we may conclude that "Global-Warming" will increase economic activity.
Let's fire up those gas-guzzlers, build more coal-fired generation plants and clear-cut and burn more old-growth forests! Everyone can do their part by cutting down all of the trees in their garden (and use them as firewood). We can also burn Al Gore in effigy, a la Guy Fawkes.
That'll get things started.
If this cold snap theory is true, then the economic figures out of Alaska MUST show a boom in growth! As temperatures have held steady in the 30-40 degree above normal range, and it rained on the north slope oil fields in January. Something not recorded in modern times. So Alaska must be booming. Growth up 20%? And Alaskan housing, the nice eather must have house hunters all out buying 'en mass!
Yeah, but the record-breaking warm January weather up here has played havoc with the incomes of all the snow plowers and road maintainance people.
I guess they need to start breaking some windows to generate some real economic activity.
Your logic Sir is unassailable.
Three cheers for the village-Idiot!
It all makes perfect sense. The cold weather caused Janet Yellen's finger to freeze up and she couldn't hit the Ctrl-P button fast enough.
"In other words, the outlook for the global economy - that would be the economy of the entire world - has just taken a hit due to.... cold weather and snowfall during the US winter..."
Translation: These a-holes know their growth projections were much too ambitious, and they are now looking for any excuse so they can make adjustments and save face in the process.
ForecastingFUBAR
They really need to throw in a change up now and then.
"Poor economic data is the result of a world wide increase of rat infestations."
(offcamera) "Rat infestations?"
(offcamera) "They wouldn't let me use winter weather again...too obvious."
Bullish for Sears. They make the best damn snowblowers.. (Ticker symbol SHLD)
Cold weather in January? NO wonder economic indicators are tanking. How does record heat in Alaska and the high arctic effect world growth?
The weather effect is the North Eastern 1/4 of the USA and the upper Mid West. You mean to tell me that a localized cold snap, as arctic air was pushed out of the arctic by tropical flow into the north, that this has tanked the world economy. That's right, cold weather in January and world economy tanks. I get it. Makes sense. Why don't they teach weather effect in the great schools of economics.
When it's cold weather and snowing a lot, don't people have to actually spend more? These clownsre dreaming, trying to find retail suckers.
It's no longer a hot market...get over it and buy a piece of a sun
The Aztecs thought gold came from the Sun.
Does that count?
An economy so sensitive that a cold snap in the USA's Eastern half in January is enough to lower growth prospects, is an economy that doesn't deserve to exist. This is a hoax! Has to be.
If it could only have the same effect on the politicians in Washington...
I just farted....loudly! I hope that helps us soon so we can fix this climate issue and get Merikan's back to work!
Polar Fucking Vortex, damn you!!!
Bi-Polar Vortex = MSM.
As the saying goes: 'When the US. sneezes, the world catches cold.'
Whats the saying about the U.S. having diarhea of their monetary system?
Does the whole world get cholera?
Or just sprayed with massive quantitys of shit?
DeNiro finds this amusing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm81LSKJC2k
Good thing it's warming, imagine what it would be like if it was cooling.
This news is as close to relevant as a trilion dollar coin.
Actually, after I laughed for a while, then thought for a while, the trillion dollar coin is an awesome idea. Just give it to the Chinese for the treasuries they own. No default, and good luck getting someone to make change.
That guy from X22Report has been calling "blaming the weather" since October/November.
Don't Worry... just check out video below "JIM CRAMER'S TERRIBLE STOCK PICKS -- FUNNY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lhwplunz7-I
Our economy is so robust that it can only be stopped by an event that occurs every single year
global cooling has killed the money machine!
Wow, drink that Al Gore, and lets have an encore for true climate change at the overall planetary level : its getting hotta day by day!
Mwa ha ha ha!!
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Those SOB keep mocking us all.
But, but, but -Al Gore.....Globral cooling = economic collapse.....global warming = resource collapse
Governmenst must borrow and spend money until the weather improves.
You know the old saying... "If its cold in Ohio, sell Malaysian Ringits."
The mainstream media will never blame Barry. He's their idol.
So blame the weather.
I thought the weather has been covered by the seasonal adjustments or how the fuck they call that shit.
this is way too funny.
why is this weather thing slowing down our growth god dammit? we never ever had a problem with weather in this world until this year, heck i never even heard of the term weather until recently.
when is the weather of bankers jumping going to happen?
Makes perfect sense...and I blame Al Gore and all those know it all global warming experts for the cold weather. They were so damn good and curing the planet of global warming that they've now plunged us into global cooling. well...job well done, I guess...thank god those do-gooders cured us of global warming before we had to be taxed to death over it. Gee, I wonder how they're going to cure us from global cooling. Better come up with a real good tax...that'll do it!!!
Well, every business in Atlanta shut down for two days last week, so you must admit that this has a significant impact on the economy. The million dollar question is how much of the last few poor economic numbers is due to the weather and how much is due to a true slow down. If you can answer that question now then you can make a fortune in the market over the next two months.
Why do they blame the weather when we all know that's a joke?
It's Not Just That Global Warming Is Fake. What Matters Is Why This Fakery Is Being Promoted.snip...
"The global warming movement is not about global warming. It is about the creation of an international political control arrangement by which bureaucrats who favor socialism can gain control over the international economy."
http://www.garynorth.com/public/5156.cfm
according to broken window fallacy cold weather should be bullish for the economy
America Fuck Yeah!
Grow hair on your body, use the same stuff that bald guys use. On second thought: that will be a new ad for Rogaine foam. New ad in .... 3...2...1.....
Elementary Watson, "when the US Catches Cold"..... the rest of the world, especially those that have no printing press gets the Flu. Keep ZIRPing them, they all hate us anyway.
Waynes World- Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOKociU8t_Q