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Caption Caption Contest For The Year Of The "Whores"

Tyler Durden's picture


The BBC caption-machine discusses the Chinese new year (the year of the horse)... but goes a little too phonetic. Are they wrong?



h/t @BarbaraDemick


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Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:38 | 4397861 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Hookers and Blow year, bitchez!

(watch out for soaring bankers, landing.)

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:09 | 4397992 knukles
knukles's picture

"Year of the Bankers"

roose transration form pidglen engrish to engrish

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:08 | 4397998 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

This is what happens when you let your "Smart Phone" auto-correct your messages.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:12 | 4398019 So Close
So Close's picture

All truths are equal.  But some truths are more equal than others.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:32 | 4398095 akak
akak's picture

I'm waiting for the Year of the Pussy myself.


PS: At least they didn't say "Welcome to the Year of the whores. People around the globe celebate."  That would have been truly ironic.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:43 | 4398188 knukles
knukles's picture

If the world leaders ain't careful next up's gonna be the "Year of Who Gives a Shit?"

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:53 | 4398231 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I think they got it write.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:00 | 4398699 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Subliminal programming? Proph(ylac)tic prophecy? 

Saville Row, whole new meaning...


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:02 | 4398700 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



At least with whores you might get kissed,

WE got screwed without the benefits of intercourse...


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:12 | 4398727 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Are you saying horses for inter-courses?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:14 | 4398736 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Only in Tijuana! Or the San Fernando Valley...

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 08:19 | 4399556 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Too modest, more like: Century of the Whores, America on its back since 1913.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:24 | 4398771 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Seriously, would you want them to kiss you? Would you kiss them?

This is what Janet Yellen looks like with her clothes off...

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:13 | 4398731 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture






Jamie Dimon

John Kerry


Federal Reserve Member Banks




(no suggestions)

(turn auto-correct off)


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 21:08 | 4398307 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Yeah but think how prices would drop!

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 21:17 | 4398343 AGuy
AGuy's picture

"the year of the horse"

2014 may be the year of of the Pin.

The pin that starts popping bubbles worldwide. I can't say for sure, but Jan and Feb are off to good start.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 21:47 | 4398444 bearwinkle
bearwinkle's picture

I think it is always year of the pussy myself! 

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:17 | 4398748 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Well, by your avatar, it looks like you have to wrestle them to get any (I mean, get any pussy).

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:35 | 4397865 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Copy editing is a dead profession.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:39 | 4397878 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Adherence to quality is a dead concept.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:42 | 4397893 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Approximate facsimilie is the new paradigm.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:51 | 4397920 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

So we are continuing to celebrate the Free Shit Army? Yo, Brarack be pimpin' me with my Obamafone, foolz!!!!

And then there is that song, "The First of the Month." Why is it someone trying to do things the right way is the one getting screwed by BO and the FSA?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:23 | 4398058 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

They screw those who are easiest to screw.  Fair has nothing to do with it and never did.  They're vultures, locusts.  They consume everything consumable and move on to the next meal.  And no, they don't lose a minute's sleep over it.  In fact, screwing people over is how they prove to themselves they're superior to everyone else.


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:17 | 4398747 Joseff Stalin
Joseff Stalin's picture



Marcus Tullius Cicero, Bureaucracy quotes:   A bureaucrat is the most despicable of men, though he is needed as vultures are needed, but one hardly admires vultures whom bureaucrats so strangely resemble. I have yet to meet a bureaucrat who was not petty, dull, almost witless, crafty or stupid, an oppressor or a thief, a holder of little authority in which he delights, as a boy delights in possessing a vicious dog. Who can trust such creatures?
more Marcus Tullius Cicero quotes
Tue, 02/04/2014 - 08:37 | 4399580 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture

"A bureaucrat is ...."


...also a useful idiot.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:55 | 4397938 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

blue jeans that retain belt loops.

Those were the days.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:12 | 4398024 F-Tipp
F-Tipp's picture

Us in the QA profession might agree, Skateboarder. Performing QC on our (American) suppliers leaves me distraught sometimes.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:58 | 4398258 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

That is the NAFTA boomerang effect.

That and six-sigma, "greenbelt" douchebags trying to direct mfg. with "continuous improvement common core (9001 COMPLIANT!) proactive synthesis approach".

"lean" (mfg.) foarward.


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:59 | 4398861 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

That's sad to hear. You would hope that 'Made in USA' still meant quality stuff, but given that the people keep eating up cheap plastic shit and pass it off as excellence, I don't know if QC even applies to the new paradigm.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:44 | 4397900 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Its a hot biz (whoring for news) they have to beat the competition to the sound of any zipper, in order to fellate the masses ;-)

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:47 | 4398201 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Approximately 20 to 40 percint of everything humans do is down wrong.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 00:13 | 4398914 akak
akak's picture


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:39 | 4397876 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Client #9. Approves this caption. 

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:33 | 4398126 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Every year is the year of the whores in Shanghai

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 22:43 | 4398650 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

You can lead a whore to culture

but you cannot make her think.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:44 | 4398184 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture

Hey!!!!  Client #9 at least would have gotten the ah....snow shovelled off of the upper west side's stoops.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:38 | 4397880 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

So we are celebrating the bankers this year I see. Will there be a special lighting of the central banker ceremony?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:51 | 4397921 JohnG
JohnG's picture

I'm constructing a flamethrower now.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:59 | 4397936 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The NSA is not amused. Stay where you are citizen. An agent will be right with you.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:01 | 4397961 JohnG
JohnG's picture

It's a damn big flamethrower.  Bring it goons.


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:10 | 4398001 logicalman
logicalman's picture


Carlin, on flame-throwers.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:55 | 4397930 kodachrome
kodachrome's picture

You mean crematory?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:39 | 4397881 nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

I know Woody Alan and his friends are celebrating.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:40 | 4397887 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Lie on your stomach, babe.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:08 | 4398000 knukles
knukles's picture

No, not you peasant... you bend over...

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 22:26 | 4398597 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Ben? Nice to meet you. Victor Hugo

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:39 | 4397883 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

Everybody's fucked.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:10 | 4398010 knukles
knukles's picture

Including Woody Allen, his wife, little girl and his future.

"Look sweetie!  Penis!  It's what's for dinner!"

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 08:32 | 4399573 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture

"Everybody's fucked."

No, not thosed who are effing us, but could fix that by rejecting credit.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:46 | 4397884 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

No bigger or better whores than those at the state-funded BBC.  

Tony Rooke refused to pay a TV license fee because the BBC intentionally misrepresented facts about the 9/11attacks, he alleged. It is widely known that the BBC reported the collapse of World Trade Center Building 7 over 20 minutes before it occurred. WTC 7 was a 47-story skyscraper that was not hit by a plane on 9/11 but collapsed at free-fall speed later that day.

So Rooke said the BBC had to have had prior knowledge to a terror attack making them complicit in the attack. He presented the BBC footage to the judge along with a slew of other evidence, and the judge agreed that Rooke had a reasonable case to protest. Rooke was found not guilty and he was not fined for failure to pay the licensing fee.

For all intents and purposes a UK court has just ruled that the BBC was complicit in the September 11th, 2001 attacks in the United States.


In the United Kingdom and the Crown Dependencies, any household watching or recording live television transmissions as they are being broadcast (terrestrial, satellite, cable, or internet) is required to hold a television licence. Since 1 April 2010 the annual licence fee has been £145.50 for colour and £49.00 for black and white (Wiki)

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:57 | 4397942 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Fuck me.  240 USD per year for fkn tv?  Is it like socialized (everybody pays) "premium" content, like HBO and shit?  Are there no commercials?  I don't have cable (GA USA), just an off-air antenna.  At least my incoming propaganda stream is free.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:15 | 4398016 logicalman
logicalman's picture

It's basically a license to turn it on.

Antenna or whatever, doesn't matter.

Not much different from a beard tax (it's been done)

They even have detector vans drive around neighbourhoods to see if a home with no license is using a television.

Good luck trying to tell 'em you only use it to watch DVDs. Even if it's true you will likely get fined.

Fucking madness and criminal, to boot!


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:58 | 4398265 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Yet another reason to not live in France...

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:16 | 4398017 knukles
knukles's picture

You all don't have cable yet in Georgia?


We just got tooth brushes in CA last month and been promised brains for the blondes.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:20 | 4398055 JohnG
JohnG's picture



That's y'all, and the cable is for the big city.

In the sticks we have puppet shows, tractor pulls and child beauty pageants.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:38 | 4398145 knukles
knukles's picture

Child Beauty Pagents.
That's just sooo wrong.


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 21:41 | 4398432 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Child Beauty Pagents.
That's just sooo wrong."


Honey Boo-Boo disagrees.  Oh wait, you are right - that is soooooo wrong!

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 00:09 | 4398898 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

Pardon, gotta cough up a piece of my broken lung....

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:24 | 4398088 acetinker
acetinker's picture

It's a well known fact that most Georgians are toothless- no need for toothbrushes ;)  Didn't you watch "Deliverance"?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:27 | 4398103 akak
akak's picture

They do play a mean banjo, though.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:37 | 4398141 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Paddle faster!  I hear banjo music!

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:35 | 4398135 knukles
knukles's picture

Hell yeah!
I love those midnight cult showings where everybody dresses up and does the reinactments.


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:42 | 4398178 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Knuks, do you have "Deliverance" confused with "Rocky Horror Picture Show"?  To be honest, I've never understood the fascination with Civil War re-enactments.  But, to my knowledge, nearly all of them are done in the bright light of day.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:49 | 4398208 knukles
knukles's picture

They don't have Deliverance cult reinactments in Georgia?
They sure do in SF's Castro district!

they only come out at night

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 22:42 | 4398345 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Fer Chrissakes Knuks!  WTF are you doing in SanFran?  You know you don't belong there, right?  Just like I don't belong in ATL, so I'm on the foot of a big hill north of the metro.

My workshop is on the foot of a bigger hill (they call 'em mountains) further out than that.

Our mountains don't rival those to your east (that's some impressive shit, right there) but still... San Francisco?

edit: Upon further thought, and considering your fanboi base of upvoters, maybe you're exactly where you need to be.  Fuck off, Knuks.  I don't have time for you.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 00:03 | 4398878 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

Knuks, that's just Saturday night.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:13 | 4398025 takeaction
takeaction's picture

$240??  Where do you get that number.  For the Super basic programming from direct TV is $58 plus all of the $69 a month.  $828 a year for the propoganda stream.  It was well worth it today to watch that fuck Liesman squirm on camera, and watch all of the CNBC commentators try and spin this.  Hope tomorrow is the same...or better.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:21 | 4398068 saints51
saints51's picture

Just be honest with yourself that you are still attached to cable. It took me a while before I finally did it.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:22 | 4398069 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Exchange rate.  Pretty sure the "subjects" pay in Pounds Sterling.  DirecTV sucks, btw.  If you lose signal, it's your fault.  Shoulda' bought the maintenance agreement too.  Phuckem.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 00:18 | 4398924 Abbie Normal
Abbie Normal's picture

So go ahead and add the maintenance agreement.  It only costs $25/mth for the full package that covers all electronic devices in your home that can view their programming (except for cellphones.)  Mine has already paid $700 to replace a TV they couldn't fix.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:25 | 4398084 logicalman
logicalman's picture

I think that's a conversion to dollars, of the license fee.

I'm not in UK any more, but even if I was, it wouldn't affect me.

Not had TV since the late 20th Century.

I don't invite lying, manipulative people into my home. Why, then, would I have a television.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 02:01 | 4399177 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

It could be worse, I have to pay CHF 462,40 per year just for the "right or privilege" to receive incoming state-sponsored propaganda, regardless of actually owning a TV.

On the bright side- if I did want 200 channels of crap that I wouldn't watch anyway (which is really only 50+ channels in German, French, Italian plus a handful of misc channels) I would only raped be for another CHF 21 per month (+VAT)...

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:47 | 4397904 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

On the East coast of the US it has started out as the Year of the Horse (heroin). RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman and 120 other junkies that have passed away in the last 2 or 3 weeks.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:48 | 4397910 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
Lethal heroin batches hit East Coast same week as actor Seymour Hoffman died

One day after Oscar-winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his apartment, police are looking into whether his apparent heroin overdose is linked to a lethal batch of the drug that recently arrived on the East Coast.

As noted by Raw Story, law enforcement agencies have spent the last month pursuing batches of heroin laced with fentanyl – a powerful painkiller – that have been deemed responsible for dozens of deaths in multiple states. The deadly drug cocktail has made its way east from Pennsylvania, and has been detected in states such as Maryland, New York and Rhode Island.

Fentanyl is approximately 80 times more powerful than morphine and “hundreds of times more potent than heroin,” according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. When combined with heroin, the drug could potentially lead to a severe and lethal attack on the human respiratory system.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:12 | 4398014 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

See? War on drugs is useless.

Let the drugs take care of the addicts, not the taxpayer...

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 23:59 | 4398868 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

Well, "severe and lethal"? One ordinarily thinks that lethal somehow makes the qualifier "severe" repetitive and redundant. 

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:53 | 4397924 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Thats what I understand too, don't know if its "overly pure" or just toxic.


Ah, I see JO found something.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:27 | 4398100 logicalman
logicalman's picture

During prohibition, US gov killed thousands by poisoning illegal hooch.

It's good for business.


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:38 | 4398144 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Showing solidarity for bankers everywhere. Was it a suicide???

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 21:20 | 4398349 Overfed
Overfed's picture

PS Hoffman was a smug, condescending, statist, jackboot worshipping, anti-gun, pro-police-state douche. Fuck him.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 22:05 | 4398515 Central Bankster
Central Bankster's picture

Umm didnt he play the part of the rebel who fights all those things in the latest Hunger Games?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 22:47 | 4398665 squexx
squexx's picture

Tell us how you really feel..........

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 00:06 | 4398891 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture


Tue, 02/04/2014 - 09:53 | 4399744 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

Satan's fucking him now.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:48 | 4397908 The Wisp
The Wisp's picture

Yes we Can Spell People.....

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:51 | 4397919 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

I'm Carlos Danger and I approve this message.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:54 | 4397926 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

For God's sake, don't tell Bill Clinton.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:57 | 4397941 Onthebeach
Onthebeach's picture

Could be a bare market then .....

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 19:57 | 4397950 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Jeeeezus. Politicans get their own year too?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:00 | 4397960 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:06 | 4397979 stock trout
stock trout's picture

Well that explains the previous post title of Serious Pain in Risky Asses coming about, or something to that effect. 

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:15 | 4398040 Nana
Nana's picture

I-Whores - 10p per day!!!!

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:24 | 4398085 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Pittsburgh Pa loves smog whores.

Long live Zelienople.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:28 | 4398108 logicalman
logicalman's picture

BBC have been establishment whores for a lot longer than a year!


Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:30 | 4398109 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Whore's ovaries?!  What?!  I'm not eating that!"

"No dear, it's Hors d'oeuvres."

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:32 | 4398123 tongue.stan
tongue.stan's picture

NWO:New Whore Order

"If you like your ho, you can keep your ho. Period. Nothing in this bill will prevent you from keeping the ho you have now. And she will be cheaper, because our administration has received assurances from the insurance industry that cheap hos will be fully covered, regardless of pre-existing conditions." The Gigolo in Chief, Bath-house Soetero.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:37 | 4398151 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Man's Country Bath House for lil' Barry

Or maybe it should be Mann's Country Bath House in the Year of the Horse, sorry Whores

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:41 | 4398169 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Whore maybe or just the year of the ignorant slut

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:44 | 4398197 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

And now a segment brought to you by our sponsors

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:54 | 4398242 besnook
besnook's picture

is there a coupon for that?

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 20:57 | 4398260 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

Now, I don't want to stick up for the BBC, here... but... the past few months, they HAVE got noticably less 'on message' when it comes to telling the British sheeple what the government wants them to hear. 6 and 7 figure salaries are at stake, after all, and since it's now obvious to anyone with an IQ over 80 that the UK is planning to get rid of it's debts by;

a) firstly demonising and dis-establishing any non-essential drain on the public purse. Like the BBC.

b) secondly doing the same to the welfare classes - who watch the BBC a lot.

c) inflating away/defaulting on all that borrowed money - which funds the BBC, since taxation can just about keep up with paying for the military, welfare bill and just barely the NHS.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 21:04 | 4398290 Sleepless Knight
Sleepless Knight's picture

all stamps are free in the year of the whores, it just costs 49 cents to lick them.

Mon, 02/03/2014 - 21:33 | 4398401 Surrealist
Surrealist's picture


Tue, 02/04/2014 - 00:29 | 4398948 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Rides the beast with 7 heads (yes, the G7).

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 00:06 | 4398887 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

So John Kerry walks into the Mustang Ranch.......

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 02:05 | 4399180 idontcare
idontcare's picture

We already knew that from the Grammys.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 08:27 | 4399568 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture


Whee, sparklers!

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 08:58 | 4399610 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture

"Whores rule the world?"

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