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"These Young Bankers Are Trying To Save The World"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Who says the only thing bankers are good at is relying on (then blaming) S&P and Moody's research reports to justify their investments in worthless toxic subprime, then levering up beyond all known limits and putting on unbelievably risky trades in hopes of striking it rich or blowing up and getting bailed out by taxpayers. According to Bloomberg...

Huh? Bloomberg, luckily, explains.

The founders of the Resolution Project don’t dwell on generosity or charity when they describe why their nonprofit mentors and funds young leaders. They favor the language of finance. “We get good yield,” said Andrew Harris, the group’s 31-year-old vice chairman, who advises private-equity firms at Forum Capital Partners in New York. “We think it’s very different and, to use a Wall Street term, very differentiated.”

 

Without deserting careers, a new wave of young bankers is starting nonprofits to help orphans, immigrants, veterans and students. They say they’re moved to mend the world using capitalism’s wisdom, not because of its shortcomings, preaching the power of dividends, due diligence, leverage and efficient allocation of resources. Some see themselves setting a new mold for post-crisis Wall Street philanthropy by not waiting to give away their money or leaving for full-time charity work.

 

Among this generation -- our generation -- is a deep passion and interest in learning, earning and returning simultaneously,” said Andrew Klaber, 32, an analyst at hedge fund Paulson & Co. whose nonprofit Even Ground provides education and care to African children affected by AIDS. “You just see an unmet need in your research, and research is what we do on Wall Street.”

Uhm, what? Some pearls of explanation.

“I’m a starter of things,” said Oliver Libby, another co-founder of the Resolution Project, which will hold competitions for student social ventures at the United Nations Youth Assembly this month and the Clinton Global Initiative University in Phoenix in March. “I just have fun with it. So there’s a certain aspect of me that just is like, yeah, sure, let’s get that started, let’s go.”

...

 

“I’ve never run a hedge fund, and they’ve never run a not-for-profit,” said Lublin, 42, now chief executive officer of Do Something, an organization that runs national campaigns about bullying, the environment and other causes to engage teenagers. “I brush my teeth every day, twice a day, that doesn’t mean I’m ready to perform a root canal on somebody.”

...

 

“There’s been a cultural humility that’s come out of the financial crisis,” said Tim Kleiman, 30, an analyst for New York-based asset manager Golub Capital. He’s working on a project to fund higher education in Africa that may aim for profit. “When you’re confronted with these really humbling events, where you see the meltdown of these systems and the sad human costs of that -- that were not necessarily the result of anyone’s intention -- for me it galvanized my thinking.”

 

Kleiman, a Yale University graduate who worked for McKinsey & Co. and hedge fund D.E. Shaw & Co. before Golub, said he doesn’t want to wait for his career to hit its high point before undertaking meaningful projects.

 

That world that I’m imagining, where I’m a partner and I’ve made all my money, who knows what that world’s going to look like?” he said. “So why not try something now?”

Truly an utopia. As for this fluff piece: there are some things money can't buy, for everything else there is Bloomberg PR.

Then again even the Catholic Church has a name for this: indulgence.

 

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Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:00 | 4399997 unrulian
unrulian's picture

What a bunch of Dorks

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:04 | 4400021 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

This story shoulda been posted as "Tuesday Humor" ....

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:11 | 4400041 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

If they want to help - they can start by copying the material on the C:/ drive to a floppy...and create the mutiny.

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:14 | 4400055 Stackers
Stackers's picture

“There’s been a cultural humility that’s come out of the financial crisis,” said Tim Kleiman, 30,

 

Bwahahahaha

Mr Dimon just oozes humility these days

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:27 | 4400121 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

What has happened in the world that could possibly require it to be saved?  The fiancial crisis?  Brought by bankers.  "A problem cannot be solved by the same minds that caused it." -Einstein 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:46 | 4400152 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

I can tell just from a glance of the picture that all four of these next gen Zionist fucks are really just "Trying to STEAL from the world"

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:19 | 4400325 CH1
CH1's picture

So, you're saying, "they look like Jews, and are therefore thieves." Yes?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:35 | 4400375 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Just look at the two in the middle...they wreak of Joo-ness, one is like a nerdy Zuckerberg and the other is like that fat guy from seinfeld....not sure about the other two but their names are pretty Joo also...Lublin, Kleinman, Libby....not sure about Harris.

I can sniff out a zionist with ease now...makes it easier for me to spot evildoers

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:43 | 4400426 666
666's picture

They don't need to save the world because a certain well known banker is just doing God's work.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 13:15 | 4400543 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Please tell me this 'article' is a bloomberg / onion crosspost... That people this idiotic are given prime time on bloomberg is a bit much.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 13:13 | 4400536 CH1
CH1's picture

they wreak of Joo-ness

I figured, another hate troll.

Tell your bosses to go fuck themselves. And really, can't you find something less demeaning to do?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 16:28 | 4401316 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

I thought I had seen them before on "The Office".

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 14:26 | 4400804 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

You know they are Jewish how exactly?  The racist/anti-semitic crowd on here is always sizable. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:32 | 4401054 Don Diego
Don Diego's picture

We know by the looks and last names.....the only non-Jew is the dork on the left.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 19:21 | 4401937 CH1
CH1's picture

The racist/anti-semitic crowd on here is always sizable.

A lot of it is sock puppets, or even bots.

Their goals are to pollute this place and to get us to waste our energy on their bullshit.

Entropy fucking incarnate.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:09 | 4400291 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

One measure of just how bad it has gotten in the banking industry is when stories like this are trotted out.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:34 | 4400149 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

kill them all...

DEATH TO THE MONEYCHANGERS.........

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:44 | 4400204 pods
pods's picture

They could really help the world by jumping off the nearest tall building.

Talk about hubris.  Steal the lives of the common man and then repay them by stealing their humility?

Disembowel them.  

I know how these pompous fucks can help the poor.  Take that nickel plated 9mm and put one through the roof of your mouth.

They can take our money (for a while longer) but that don't mean I am going to thank them for it.

pods

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 17:52 | 4401688 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

They could really help the world by jumping off the nearest tall building.

Let's not be too hasty. If they really, truly want to help the world, they should encourage more of their peers to join the trend and take the final exit.

Then they can jump off the nearest tall building.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:12 | 4400300 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

Apoptotic Bankers

 

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:52 | 4400237 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

Stopped reading at 31 year old Vice Chairman.

Early on in your career you learn to recognize those who are true hard workers & marked for entrepenural/corporate success and the pretenders. Pretenders will try to pump their profile’s to offset deal flow weakness with gaudy charity & civic activity. Placing your latest venture in the WSJ/Vanity Fair page 6 is old hat.

Plenty of real charities with full transparency who actually reinvest in the communities in America. This is definitly at first blush (all 10 seconds) not one of them.

 

 

 

 

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:15 | 4400060 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

All jew?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:24 | 4400111 nuclearsquid
nuclearsquid's picture

saving the world.  one $750k bonus at a time.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:50 | 4400231 PT
PT's picture

Give 'em a billion each.  Then give me a billion.  Check back in ten years time to see who did the most good.  Can't say I'd make a profit.  Can't say the money would last very long.  But I'd keep a few engineers employed for a little while and they would enjoy coming to work.  Who knows?  We might get lucky.  Couldn't do any worse ...

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:26 | 4400118 superflex
superflex's picture

Two Ginger Jews?  Not likely

The big boy probably.  The little weasley fuck.  I dunno.

All will be ripe targets come the reckoning.

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:54 | 4400246 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

They'll have their flight out to daddy's secret pad in Europe with their friends before anyone bats an eyelid. When you have an entire world to hide in, and the flying metal deathtrap resources available to immediately facilitate it, you face no reprecussions.

When the 'reckoning' comes, the ones supposed to be guillotined will have long left.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:54 | 4400463 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

A few will stay behind to direct the "reckoning" and the guillotining.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 16:48 | 4401401 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Yep, and the plebes will be left behind to fight amongst each other.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:32 | 4400139 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Libby and Klein are.  Don't know about the other two.  Again it's ok because at least they're disproportionately represented in the banking arena, and to mention such makes you all sorts of nasty things.

Save the world....they're just trying to line their pockets. /

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:08 | 4400974 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Old Polish proverb:  A Jew cries out in pain as he strikes you.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:14 | 4400063 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

AFloppy?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:42 | 4400196 PT
PT's picture

Yeah, maybe he shoulda sed "several floppies", or "memory stick" or "external hard drive".
You get that. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:15 | 4400057 nuclearsquid
nuclearsquid's picture

sadly this is a direct extension of the feel-good bullshit taugh at today's high-priced, marquee 'international' MBA programs.

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:07 | 4400026 Sparky_ZA
Sparky_ZA's picture

Personally I think douche sounds better

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:07 | 4400029 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

To use a terrible linguistic americanism, terrible....irregardless, you have to cut them some slack. 

Then again, nothing is as it seems. 

The Clinton GLobal what....ugh...that pair, freaky association. As bad as the gates foundation.

The United Nations.....double ugh....

Already the slack is getting tight....

Basically, same pile of dogpoo. Kind of like th eCLinton-Bush Haiti fund....

Freaking sub-humans....

ori

http://aadivaahan.wordpress.com/2014/02/04/pictorally-speaking/

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:23 | 4400110 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

nice shot, v & p.   beautiful composition.

that's a print right there

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:43 | 4400202 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Gracias tip.e :-)

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:08 | 4400043 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Bateman, we said RED tie.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:54 | 4400245 The Dunce
The Dunce's picture

If these are the assholes who are gonna save the world, then we're all completely fucked.  Word to your mother.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:19 | 4400322 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

unrulian said:  "What a bunch of Dorks"

Yes, and I would add:  "What a bunch of hyenas."

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 13:30 | 4400595 Freddie
Freddie's picture

If they really want to save the world they should stick their heads into a noose of boiled rope hanging from a lamp post or into a guilotine.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 14:32 | 4400830 Blano
Blano's picture

Clinton Global Initiative University?

Good God we are so screwed.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:06 | 4400965 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

And so what?  Actually a lot of hedge fund guys I know are ex-lacross players (including a cousin) and are quite athletic still.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:00 | 4399998 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Saving the world, one money exchange at a time. God bless you money changers.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:02 | 4400013 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Don't worry, be happy.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:18 | 4400072 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

If you can't be happy, take drugs. (hey, that's not my idea)

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 14:53 | 4400920 Blano
Blano's picture

I cancelled my cable TV today, so I guess it's time for a beer run.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:00 | 4400000 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Salvation through banking.

Good one.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:00 | 4400002 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

These aren't the dead guys, right?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:03 | 4400008 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Not yet, as long as they stay away from any steep imbankments or culverts....it's all good.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:04 | 4400011 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Not yet.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 14:36 | 4400846 Blano
Blano's picture

No....just 4 more targets when the time comes.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:01 | 4400005 glaucon was right
glaucon was right's picture

Save the world from themselfs?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:02 | 4400010 shanearthur
shanearthur's picture

Off Topic (Sorry Tyler)  I use Firefox browser. I have adjusted my settings so that no website information is remembered. I do this so anybody coming behind me on the computers I share can't be all nosy and use the autofill url. Anyway, my browser forgets every other site EXCEPT zerohedge. How in the hell does that happen? I mean, I know it's zerohedge, and I love your site, but damn! I don't want my computer remembering sh!t. Can you answer how this is possible?I don't remember answering any prompts to remember this site or any such verbiage that would override my settings.

 

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:08 | 4400040 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Check "Always use private browsing mode" in Options>Privacy.  There are also several add-ons which will clean your history every time you close the browser. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:08 | 4400042 glaucon was right
glaucon was right's picture

Once you are in, you cannot leave. Like the Mafia.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:27 | 4400117 frankthomaswhite59
Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:39 | 4400174 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

thanks, i needed that.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:29 | 4400132 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Hotel California.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:47 | 4400220 pods
pods's picture

Don't worry about it, THEY already know everything.

pods

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:04 | 4400015 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

That must be why they are promoting all those financial "products" of mass destruction then...

roll the motherfucking guillotines, nothing changes otherwise.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:33 | 4401060 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Yea, cause she won't have it any other way.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:03 | 4400017 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Went to Bloomberg this morning for the first time in prolly a year and this was the one article I clicked on and read vowing to never return to Bloomberg again.  Holy fuck I wanted to punch each of those faggy douchebags in the nose the first time I saw it and nothing has changed in me upon seeing them a second time. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:05 | 4400018 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Gosh I feel warm and fuzzy all over, kind of like how I feel when I watch Oprah.... Or get a tooth pulled. Isn't there a bridge somewhere calling out their names?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:05 | 4400020 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

Has anyone here at the hedge linked California’s drought to the recent drops in the markets?   Will the lack of water in that area possibly be raising the prices of basic necessities like food not only locally, but nationally and possibly even globally?  Can other parts of the CA and NV economy be expected to suffer?  Will any economic dislocations help to expose weakness in the official paradigm of growth as somehow and always being a guarantee? 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:05 | 4400022 Cocomaan
Cocomaan's picture

Imagine partying with these guys.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:21 | 4400088 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

What do you think the orphans are for?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:19 | 4400027 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

"We gotta destroy the world to save the world."

It's kinda like capitalism.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:07 | 4400028 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

trying to save the world???

 

perhaps they should try getting laid first without paying for it.

 

Fucking poindexters!!!

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:22 | 4400086 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Oh, we all pay for it, one way or the other. 

Just a matter of timing.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:06 | 4400030 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture

 

 

The world is now starting to wilt

These banksters are feeling some guilt

They're using PR

To help hide the scar

Of the Kleptocrat system they built

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:08 | 4400033 HamRove
HamRove's picture

Saved by virgins with a degree?

The book writes itself.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:09 | 4400034 daemon
daemon's picture
"These Young Bankers Are Trying To Save The World"

When reading the title, I thought they intended to commit suicide.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:10 | 4400035 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Orphans are cheap labor.  Charity is for the Pope.  These guys have no idea how to run an empire.  This is what bailout mentaility has spawned.  Soft minded fat slobs with no business acumen or fire.  What money they were given will be squandered.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:08 | 4400037 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

Didn't Greenspan, Summers and Rubin save the  world in 1998? And they're saving the world again?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:08 | 4400038 overexposed
overexposed's picture

Reading between the lines, one observes that young bankers are now even bigger masters of tax avoidance -- am I right?

(NTTAWWT.)

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:09 | 4400039 Boondocker
Boondocker's picture

and here I thought the future was grim....

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:11 | 4400044 youngman
youngman's picture

Why all in Africa....why not Detroit....same clan needs help..

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:13 | 4400048 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Detroit has nothing left to exploit. There are plenty of opportunities in Africa.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:45 | 4400889 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Question and answer pretty much sums it up.  Beware of the sociopathic rapist or banker for short.  They'll come in and charm them and they might even receive some short term benefits but the people as whole will end up worse than before they started.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:17 | 4400077 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Different clans - the Africans (with the help of Arabs & Europeans) offshored/offloaded their FSA rejects and others deemed most suited to serfdom to the Americas a few centuries back... Unfortunately, the local TPTB kleptocrats remained in Africa and continue to fuck things up for else who remained to this day.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:10 | 4400045 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Great job....educate these terminally ill children.....who will not live but a few more years!

 

Yeah....Great investment!

 

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:12 | 4400050 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Looks like the next suicides to me.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:14 | 4400061 Musashi Miyamoto
Musashi Miyamoto's picture

What bleeding hearts... God Bless these Banker Squid... Doing Gods Work, Truly HeartWarming... Spread the Banking Gospel... Stock up on Holy Water and Crosses... Paint your window frames with garlic... Think of the children with AIDS...

When these fuckers suck your blood and leave you a empty husk in an empty alley at least you may die knowing that your blood is in the belly of a 21st century Mother Teresa

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:45 | 4400212 JR
JR's picture

After alterating the economic situation of the world using banker control over money and power, Bloomberg now is using this sob sop to assuage the angst of banker collateral damage. It is a divergence while the big banks continue taking out the men who were and are the builders of homes and nations rather than empires.

For a small banker tribe to remain so large, so totalitarian, so omnipotent -  worldwide - means the rest of mankind must “remain small or have nothing.”

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:16 | 4400064 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

Enochian magic requires good acts to build greater ability in black magic. Beware the philanthropist, measure the results of their actions, not the PR campaign.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:20 | 4400091 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

+1

"good" being in quotation marks.

with results measured in quality not quantity

for "the devil's always in the details"...

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:36 | 4400383 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

de-tails in-deed and word.

+ great insight from sean7k above.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:20 | 4400094 HamRove
HamRove's picture

Uhm...... take the 'Clinton Global Initiative', roll it up until its all corners and jam it straight up your ass.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:23 | 4400109 BigSimes
BigSimes's picture

Hey, there's a book about Bankers saving / selling the World....

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:29 | 4400119 Georgia_Boy
Georgia_Boy's picture

Who says the only thing bankers are good at is relying on (then blaming) S&P and Moody's research reports to justify their investments in worthless toxic subprime, then levering up beyond all known limits and putting on unbelievably risky trades in hopes of striking it rich or blowing up and getting bailed out by taxpayers. According to Bloomberg...These young bankers are trying to save the world

The one way they could do even more damage, IOW ...

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:28 | 4400127 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

 

 

Among this generation -- our generation -- is a deep passion and interest in learning, earning and returning simultaneously,” said Andrew Klaber, 32, an analyst at hedge fund Paulson & Co. whose nonprofit Even Ground provides education and care to African children affected by AIDS. 

 

Paulson & Co - the ones who collaborated with the squid to sell subprime securities to investors while betting against them.  

 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:04 | 4400275 JR
JR's picture

Why are the ruling elite helping Africans and not Anglo-Saxon whites -- who are being deliberately displaced and destroyed in the U.S and Europe? And why do the International Bankers support the waves of illegal immigration into America?

Patrick J. Buchanan has the answer in "How the GOP Lost Middle America. Hint: It’s for cheap labor and to implement world socialism:

“Almost all of those breaking our laws, crossing the border, and overstaying their visas are young, poor or working class. Between 80 and 90 percent are from Asia, Africa, the Middle East and Latin America.

“They are Third World peoples. They believe in government action and government programs that provide their families with free education, health care, housing, food, and income subsidies. They are not Bob Taft or Barry Goldwater conservatives.

“Perhaps 85 percent of all immigrants, legal and illegal, more than a million a year now, are people of color. And while over 70 percent of Hispanics and Asians voted Democratic for Obama, among voters of African descent, the Obama vote was well above 90 percent.

“Four of every five U.S. citizens of Asian, African and Hispanic descent vote Democratic in presidential elections. And it is their numbers that are growing. Already they are well over a third of the U.S. population.”

And it is the Democrat Party and the bankers, with the help of Republican operatives such as Boehner and Mitchell, who are pushing for the breakup of America’s European culture. And one of their leaders is Bloomberg.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:17 | 4401014 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

JR, if I may be so bold as to offer this as a partial explenation.

http://irishsavant.blogspot.ie/2014/02/my-righteous-jews-spreadsheet.html

Wed, 02/05/2014 - 12:47 | 4404295 JR
JR's picture

Thanks, Rafferty. The push back has begun.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:34 | 4400145 forrestdweller
forrestdweller's picture

fucking pig fucks. that's what they are.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:38 | 4400161 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Do these shallow pieces of shiite do some Big data word searches for the most often used cliches for so called charites? Look at all of their feckin stupid, never to happen, names of their charities. HIV, Africa, black, Clinton, United Nations, education, initiative.... real feckin arseholes.

How about instructung carpentry, plumbing, basic feckin' math, not robbing / killing people in the feckin' neighborhood for a start?

Anything with Clinton or United Nations in it is code for "scam". Bill Clinton and Wyclef Jean ripped off 90% of all the money for Haitian Relief fund. Haiti, is still a miserable shithole... years after Clinton left.     

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:54 | 4400226 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

coa nails it.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:39 | 4400166 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Hang them and their orphans.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:40 | 4400181 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I wonder if I would be held in such esteem if I founded a non-profit based on theft as well?! Instead of theft by fraud and counterfeit money I could just rob banks for the funds.

Their non-profit may assuage their guilt, but it will not appease the guillotine.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:43 | 4400191 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

How many of these young Non-Profit CEOs "earn" government-grant derived salaries of six figures and more -- in their spare time "away" from their regular bankster positions?

For the orphans?  Children?  Africans?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:47 | 4400222 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

Ding ding.  One of the better comments on this thread.  It is a way to reduce tax burden and at the same time draw additional salary through NPF CEO positions and board positions that pay a nice per annual per diem for essentially doing nothing (few board meetings a year and nominal work). 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:05 | 4400277 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Shhhhhhh.

Don't tell everyone. As soon as everyone jumps in they'll change the laws.

It's a sweet setup.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:45 | 4400207 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

Doing gods work.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:45 | 4400208 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

At best, naively optimistic and trite with a very limited effect. At worst, self-serving PR and a tax-writeoff. 

If it makes me a 'socialist/commie' even though I have a PhD in economics to insist that capital-derived income gains should be taxed at the same level as labor-derived income, then call me Matty Axe and 'comrades forward.'  

Hedge funds/private equity guys are our modern-day shylocks who take their slice of the outsized pie regardless of what happens and won't put their results out there for external analysis by 3rd parties because the BS they hide behind about being 'effiicient means to destribute capital and investment' and 'outsized alpha perfomers' would turn to $hit. 

Do I resent that I went into health economics instead a bit and didn't pursue something more lucrative?  Yeah a bit but almost inevitably anyone in a hedge fund/PE under the age of 35 and an MBA grad isn't nearly as smart or experienced in the 'ways the world works' than they think. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:52 | 4400233 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Bankers trying to save the world. M'kay.
Has anyone here ever tried to get bank financing to fund a capital spending project? Or god forbid, capitalize a new business?
We.
Don't.
Need.
Banks.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 11:54 | 4400248 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

Say this.  The guys at the top in finance have done a great job of diffusing general anger among the populace at where the anger should have been directed at in '08 and using the system to infiltrate the 'Occupy Wall Street' and the 'Tea Party' (which both started out as genuine grass roots movements but became co-opeted and infiltrated at every level).

At some point, the system is going to crash again and reset and the people are going to get very angry.  US was lucky in '33 that a more temperant stance was taken and even then the system at the time was ruthless in rooting out, infiltrating, and destroy far-left and far-right organizations in the US thanks to the work by J Edgar Hoover who employed completel unconstitutional means/techniques in order to do so.  

US has had good providence to have a leader at times of real peril to guide the country through its darkest/most challenging chapters and I doubt this time we will get so lucky. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:11 | 4400294 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

the US might need a leader, but does america?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:00 | 4400260 PGR88
PGR88's picture

Doing something for Africa was the bullshit PR gesture back when I was young, and that was 30 years ago.  Seems it still is.

Thank God we will always have a fucked up African continent, or self-absorbed upper class tools wouldn't know what to do.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:01 | 4400266 New American Re...
New American Revolution's picture

RIGHT FUCKING ON! Indugence it is, and that to salve a guilty conscious and buy that stairway to heaven.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:12 | 4400301 Big Johnson
Big Johnson's picture

What's with the two in the middle with the Roscoe in Butt smiles?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:12 | 4400303 Xandrino
Xandrino's picture

"These Young Bankers Are Trying To Save Their World"

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:13 | 4400305 Joe A
Joe A's picture

They can start by jumping off the nearest sky scraper.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:15 | 4400310 FLHRS
FLHRS's picture

I you do something and feel good about it, then do it.  And shut the fuck up about it.  "where I'm a partner and made all my money" - who is this really about?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:15 | 4400312 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Pictures like this remind everyone that wearing a suit and tie makes you look like a hopeless virgin

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:21 | 4400326 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

You wanna save the world? Stop trying to save it.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:29 | 4400353 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Too late. 

Don't they know that only "Jesus saves" and bankers don't?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:31 | 4400355 Acet
Acet's picture

For a moment there, before I actually read the article, I trully hoped that these bankers were doing something to help the world, like for example get into a suicide pack.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 12:34 | 4400357 monad
monad's picture

The usual Marxist doublespeak. They steal our wealth and then, in the name of our own good, pursue statist pogroms advancing their ultimate goal: WORLD DOMINATION!

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 13:22 | 4400361 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Smug. Glib. Clueless. Insufferable.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 13:14 | 4400535 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

 "a new wave of young bankers is starting nonprofits to" hide money and not pay taxes. The NFL is a non-profit organization, too.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 14:33 | 4400828 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

Generally.  There are a lot of NPF organizations that truly do good work but I should love to see some opaqueness to these organizations with some numbers on actually going to their stated cause vs admin/other expenses.

Wealthy are increasingly using NPF organizations and trusts to stuff money and create dynastic wealth.  Every society in human history has understood that creating dynastic weatlh and a permanent class of wealthy and privileged based simply on birth right is a recipe for disharmony.  Guess we'll have to learn that lesson again the hard way in the US. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 13:18 | 4400562 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

'The founders of the Resolution Project don’t dwell on generosity or charity'
You got that right.


 

We think it’s very different and, to use a Wall Street term, very differentiated.”

Oh how quaint, he's so 'very differentiated'. Cock.

 

 

Among this generation -- our generation -- is a deep passion and interest in earning” said Andrew Klaber, 32,
You just see an unmet opportunity, and you fleece it. It's what we do on Wall Street.”

Fixed.

 

“I just have fun with it. So there’s a certain aspect of me that just is like, yeah, sure, let’s get that started, let’s go."

Yeah, like, way to go dude. High fives all round.

You fuckwit.


“There’s been a cultural humility that’s come out of the financial crisis,” said Tim Kleiman,

Not from you you arrogant prick.


“When you’re confronted with these really humbling events, where you see the meltdown of these systems and the sad human costs of that -- that were not necessarily the result of anyone’s intention -- for me it galvanized my thinking.”

 

I thought, how much more can I fuck with these useless wastes of space. This needs to be done with intention. Let's do this properly.

 

Get the fuckin' rope.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 13:24 | 4400588 exartizo
exartizo's picture

Realistically...they are....Corzinites In Training.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 14:05 | 4400712 MickV
MickV's picture

Right on the heels of the Jamie Dimon puff piece on 60 Minutes last week.

These bankers are such nice guys, say the propaganda media mouthpieces.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOVMEM_uPa8https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOVMEM_uPa8

Grab your barf bag.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 14:09 | 4400727 resurger
resurger's picture

DIE!

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:25 | 4401028 Randoom Thought
Randoom Thought's picture

Long ago I got tired of the ego pieces of the young underprivileged, but brilliant, deserving and hard working, jew(s) who starts a successful business, against all odds, with only an idea and a billion dollars of investor money and connections that his father arranged for him.

Excuse me while I barf. Where is my Zuckerberg?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4401042 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

If they want to save the world, then commit suicide.  Or better yet, take down their whole office.....

How many times do you read of a mafia family going straight?  Right.  Just jump you fuckwads.

What mental misfit thought that leaders or original ideas should come out of finance?  It is just trying to assign legitimacy to stealing....

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 16:44 | 4401389 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Does anyone remember "The Committee to Save The World" Time magazine cover?  Is this the new and improved version?

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 17:23 | 4401591 random shots
random shots's picture

Non-Profits are the new hedge funds.  Out of the limelight, alleging to do something good, raising big funds, and making profits without being doubled taxd (corporate and individual).  The non-profits are typically non-taxable and generally leave just enough of funds in surplus while taking big officer's comps.  Don't believe me? Pull their tax returns on Guidestar.org and see what somes of these non-profit officers make. 

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 18:05 | 4401717 Blistering Barnacles
Blistering Barnacles's picture

Guys on form tonight today wherever you are - Salute to all the barrack/gallows humour!  Thats why we love ZH for great flights of brilliant sardonic comment

From my South African perpective surely those ous cant be real - they look like the sugary, B movie of spoof/goof Barbie Banker Porn

ARE YOU EXPERIENCED? -  JH

This is the Onion right?


Tue, 02/04/2014 - 18:11 | 4401741 zipit
zipit's picture

Bankers to the observation deck...  then down.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 18:46 | 4401852 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

It's not the fall that kills you...

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 18:47 | 4401849 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

This Newspeak is the product of a very expensive PR firm sitting around a massive mahogany table with the Manhattan skyline in the background.

They ask: "How can we make them think that we're not baby-eating dick-licking grabasstic twinkle-toed Kafkaesque amphibian sacks of putrid slime that clings to the walls of hell?"

It's the Banker Boyz!

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 20:54 | 4402210 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

"hey we're setting up some nonprofits (read tax shelters) to really help the world". Guys, that memo is over 100 years old. If they said "hey we're going to stop political contributions instead of buying governments" I might get a little excited.

Tue, 02/04/2014 - 22:49 | 4402533 D-Fens
D-Fens's picture

They know it's all bullshit so they are having fun before it all crashes.

See, among the people who know it's all bullshit, you have the preppers and the elite, the bankers.  The former prep because they have no other choice.  Maybe they enjoy it a little, but basically it's about survival.

The latter don't have to prep.  They get shitloads of free money and just sort of enjoy themselves.

This is what happens to all systems as they end.

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