The Farce Is Complete: Blythe Masters Joining CFTC

Tyler Durden's picture


We thought today's newsflow and "market action" ranked pretty high on the absurd surrealism scale. And then we saw this.


That's right - you read it correct: "Blythe Masters, head of JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s commodities division, is joining an advisory committee of the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission, said Steve Adamske, a spokesman for the regulator. Masters, 44, was invited by acting Chairman Mark Wetjen to sit on a global markets committee at the Washington-based regulator of futures and swaps, according to a person with knowledge of the matter. Masters is scheduled to participate in a CFTC meeting on Feb. 12 to discuss cross-border guidance on rules, the person said."

Ok - ignore, if you will, all alegations about Blythe Masters "interventions" in the precious metals markets.

But don't ignore Blythe's CNBC interview in which the soon to be former JPMorganite said, days before the London Whale fiasco was exposed and so were JPM's attempts to corner the bond market, that JPM has "offsetting positions. We have no stake in whether prices rise or decline. Rather we're running a flat or relatively flat matched book" - a statement that was a bold faced lie, and was followed up with "what is commonly out there is that JPMorgan is manipulating the metals market. It's not part of our business model. it would be wrong and we don't do it."

No, Blythe had much greater manipulative ambitions, namely becoming the next Enron, which we learned after than the FERC fined JPMorgan - and the group ran by Blythe Masters - for manipulating electricity prices in California and other states.

Fast forward to today when we learn that this certified commodity market manipulator just got a job with none other than the head commodity regulators in the US?

In other words, you too can get a job at the CFTC if only you can answer yes to the following two questions (h/t Manal):

  • Has your bank manipulated energy markets under your watch, and
  • Have you been found guilty of commodity price manipulation

We could ask what Elizabeth Warren would think about this hilarious rotating door out of the most punished for its legal transgressions bank - with about $25 billion in legal fees, expenses and settlement charges - the same Warren who earlier today was parading with pandering populism at the Senate hearing, as a result of which nothing would change...


... but we won't. Because as we noted: nothing will ever change. Actually correction - now it will be Blythe Masters on top of the one regulators that is supposed to enforce a fair, honest and efficient commodities market.

It's almost as if they are explicitly telling the handful of people who still care about this entire charade a resounding "fuck you."

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Thu, 02/06/2014 - 17:53 | 4409245 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

OMFG I'M SO SHOCKED /end sarcasm

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 17:58 | 4409266 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

"and they dare call it a conspiracy".....bwaaaaaaaaa

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:00 | 4409275 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Physical gold & silver.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:04 | 4409295 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Short the Onion, because no one could make this shit up if it is true.

This is nothing short of an open declaration of war on anyone who believes silver (or anything inherent value) > paper fiat.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:04 | 4409301 knukles
knukles's picture

So much for any gold and silver manipulation investigations making it to US shores
Jamie's Inside Job

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:05 | 4409307 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

She is the best person for the "job."

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:08 | 4409319 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture



And the Human Race has just gone Full Retard.


Nice job people.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:11 | 4409340 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

corzine for president

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:22 | 4409383 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Yep, no need to hide the manipulation any longer, so they thumb their nose at investors and give us a hardy hi-ho and a fucku2. 

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:26 | 4409400 john39
john39's picture

The Onion once again relegated to redundancy by the "real" world.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:25 | 4409406 Four chan
Four chan's picture

id like to see her naked shorts, now that naked shorting is fully backed by the culprits.

gold to zero?

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:35 | 4409445 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture


F'n witch.


Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:36 | 4409460 tickhound
tickhound's picture

It's like promoting Tony Soprano to NJ State Police Chief.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:44 | 4409496 john39
john39's picture

in truth, its probably a positive development if true.  the system is crushing itself.  when the level of fraud reaches ludicrous level, the game is almost over.   I'm not sure what these criminals have planned, but it must be something awful if they think than can shove this down the population's throat. 

otherwise, they have gone mad to the extent that they can't even see the danger to themselves building...

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:50 | 4409526 666
666's picture

News like this used to shock me and get me upset. Now I've gotten used to the massive corruption in the USSA and would be more surprised to find out she was punished instead of rewarded.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:59 | 4409561 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

I'd still f*** her in the @ss [with fonestar's dick]...


Then again ~ that might not hurt too much.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 19:23 | 4409633 AL_SWEARENGEN

So Elke Koenig and Blythe Masters will be going head to head?  That would be interesting.  Or maybe the Lipstick Mafia has already got to them both.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 19:47 | 4409747 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

You people have it all wrong. They got the biggest criminal out there to investigate the criminals because she knows all the criminal tricks. 

Nope, can't even write it with a straight face. Wouldn't pass my smell test...

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 20:08 | 4409830 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Suppression is a gift for those wise enough to avail themselves of it.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 20:14 | 4409845 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

I seem to be having trouble finding the source for this?  Took a spin around the business media and didn't see anything.  All the links to this post are to the same or older ZH posts.  Tyler? 


Thu, 02/06/2014 - 22:32 | 4410379 rocker
rocker's picture

Type her name on YouTube and it's the first one up. She does reference recent events of JPM in 2013 in video.  

Can't be that old. YouTube put up today. Surely, you understand the present media outlets are paid to shun her.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 23:19 | 4410501 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Blythe - derivative manipulator extreme - the name will forever live in infamy.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 23:25 | 4410512 macholatte
macholatte's picture




“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.”

-- Benjamin Franklin


Thu, 02/06/2014 - 23:26 | 4410519 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

I'll have a beer.

- Ben Franklin

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 23:36 | 4410541 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Elizabeth Warren - There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody. ... You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for; you hired workers the rest of us paid to educate; you were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory, and hire someone to protect against this, because of the work the rest of us did. Now look, you built a factory and it turned into something terrific, or a great idea. God bless. Keep a big hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is, you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 01:16 | 4410746 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

To Elizabeth Warren:  Isn't that why I pay taxes?

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 03:22 | 4410862 fuu
fuu's picture

Fuck you Blythe!

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 07:43 | 4411003 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture





"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes."

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 08:47 | 4411070 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Rough beast slouching...

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 08:14 | 4411026 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Blythe Masters, Queen Bee of the Carbon Tax:




Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:06 | 4411091 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Bitch gets around.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 07:53 | 4411010 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

who is the only idiot giving down arrows just for the fuck of it ?

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 08:15 | 4411025 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture





We call him the lone junkster.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 19:21 | 4409630 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Kinda telling the placing of females in these positions.

The big setup.

Can they keep it going until the Hill gets voted in?

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 23:30 | 4410526 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

I agree in the cases of Hillary, LaGarde, and Ol' Yeller.  With Blythe it is more of a matter of her behind the scenes skills.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 23:32 | 4410535 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

All these comments below? (It's like Tony Soprano being made Chief of the New Jersey State Police, etc.?)

Uh ... anyone ever hear of Timothy Geitner? Charles Rangel? Marion Barry? Alcee Hastings?

Give me a break.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 01:16 | 4410743 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

I'd still bang her if I was wearing my beer goggles...

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 01:27 | 4410759 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

So wait this is the start of the take down right? The one where Blythe & JPM are guilty of many crimes and the DOJ knows it so they put her on the CFTC board to you know tell them exactly what has been going on so they can unwind this thing and free the market and end the manipulation so all can trade freely in such a glorious manor right...? Please tell me it is so...? Scumbag bankers going to jail soon...?

I mean this is so crazy it has to be unicorns right?

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 04:00 | 4410882 limit_less
limit_less's picture

Crash - I think your words are worth repeating

"they put her on the CFTC board to you know, tell them exactly what has been going on so they can unwind this thing "

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 19:22 | 4409634 tickhound
tickhound's picture

This appointment isn't a "development" .. Nor is it a sign of the times. This is TYPICAL. This IS how things work. This is how things are done. It's FAMILY.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 23:48 | 4410566 Lore
Lore's picture

Inside humor: Name cards that begin with "Honorable."  HAHAHAHA!

"How Did It Come To This?"

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:43 | 4409497 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This just in, Tony Soprano promoted to NJ State Police Chief.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 08:08 | 4411023 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Does this mean the CFTC will be conducting human sacrifices in public now?

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:42 | 4409468 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

@Four Chan,

Speaking of naked shorts,

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:26 | 4409411 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

May the farce be with you

(like a cheap fucking suit)

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:26 | 4409410 machineh
machineh's picture

Bernie Madoff for Treasury secretary!

Every man a billionaire (on paper).

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 20:53 | 4410030 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Corzine for Treasury Secretary.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 01:54 | 4410788 prains
prains's picture

Please don't forgert Blythe is a stand in Bum model for Warren at photo shoots.

Thu, 02/06/2014 - 18:21 | 4409381 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

And you never go full retard.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!