The Farce Is Complete: Blythe Masters Joining CFTC

Tyler Durden's picture

We thought today's newsflow and "market action" ranked pretty high on the absurd surrealism scale. And then we saw this.


That's right - you read it correct: "Blythe Masters, head of JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s commodities division, is joining an advisory committee of the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission, said Steve Adamske, a spokesman for the regulator. Masters, 44, was invited by acting Chairman Mark Wetjen to sit on a global markets committee at the Washington-based regulator of futures and swaps, according to a person with knowledge of the matter. Masters is scheduled to participate in a CFTC meeting on Feb. 12 to discuss cross-border guidance on rules, the person said."

Ok - ignore, if you will, all alegations about Blythe Masters "interventions" in the precious metals markets.

But don't ignore Blythe's CNBC interview in which the soon to be former JPMorganite said, days before the London Whale fiasco was exposed and so were JPM's attempts to corner the bond market, that JPM has "offsetting positions. We have no stake in whether prices rise or decline. Rather we're running a flat or relatively flat matched book" - a statement that was a bold faced lie, and was followed up with "what is commonly out there is that JPMorgan is manipulating the metals market. It's not part of our business model. it would be wrong and we don't do it."

No, Blythe had much greater manipulative ambitions, namely becoming the next Enron, which we learned after than the FERC fined JPMorgan - and the group ran by Blythe Masters - for manipulating electricity prices in California and other states.

Fast forward to today when we learn that this certified commodity market manipulator just got a job with none other than the head commodity regulators in the US?

In other words, you too can get a job at the CFTC if only you can answer yes to the following two questions (h/t Manal):

  • Has your bank manipulated energy markets under your watch, and
  • Have you been found guilty of commodity price manipulation

We could ask what Elizabeth Warren would think about this hilarious rotating door out of the most punished for its legal transgressions bank - with about $25 billion in legal fees, expenses and settlement charges - the same Warren who earlier today was parading with pandering populism at the Senate hearing, as a result of which nothing would change...


... but we won't. Because as we noted: nothing will ever change. Actually correction - now it will be Blythe Masters on top of the one regulators that is supposed to enforce a fair, honest and efficient commodities market.

It's almost as if they are explicitly telling the handful of people who still care about this entire charade a resounding "fuck you."

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buzzsaw99's picture

OMFG I'M SO SHOCKED /end sarcasm

kliguy38's picture

"and they dare call it a conspiracy".....bwaaaaaaaaa

TruthInSunshine's picture

Short the Onion, because no one could make this shit up if it is true.

This is nothing short of an open declaration of war on anyone who believes silver (or anything inherent value) > paper fiat.

knukles's picture

So much for any gold and silver manipulation investigations making it to US shores
Jamie's Inside Job

SilverIsKing's picture

She is the best person for the "job."

Thought Processor's picture



And the Human Race has just gone Full Retard.


Nice job people.

Keyser's picture

Yep, no need to hide the manipulation any longer, so they thumb their nose at investors and give us a hardy hi-ho and a fucku2. 

john39's picture

The Onion once again relegated to redundancy by the "real" world.

Four chan's picture

id like to see her naked shorts, now that naked shorting is fully backed by the culprits.

gold to zero?

nope-1004's picture


F'n witch.


tickhound's picture

It's like promoting Tony Soprano to NJ State Police Chief.

john39's picture

in truth, its probably a positive development if true.  the system is crushing itself.  when the level of fraud reaches ludicrous level, the game is almost over.   I'm not sure what these criminals have planned, but it must be something awful if they think than can shove this down the population's throat. 

otherwise, they have gone mad to the extent that they can't even see the danger to themselves building...

666's picture

News like this used to shock me and get me upset. Now I've gotten used to the massive corruption in the USSA and would be more surprised to find out she was punished instead of rewarded.

HyBrasilian's picture

I'd still f*** her in the @ss [with fonestar's dick]...


Then again ~ that might not hurt too much.


So Elke Koenig and Blythe Masters will be going head to head?  That would be interesting.  Or maybe the Lipstick Mafia has already got to them both.

HoofHearted's picture

You people have it all wrong. They got the biggest criminal out there to investigate the criminals because she knows all the criminal tricks. 

Nope, can't even write it with a straight face. Wouldn't pass my smell test...

Supernova Born's picture

Suppression is a gift for those wise enough to avail themselves of it.

sunaJ's picture

I seem to be having trouble finding the source for this?  Took a spin around the business media and didn't see anything.  All the links to this post are to the same or older ZH posts.  Tyler? 


rocker's picture

Type her name on YouTube and it's the first one up. She does reference recent events of JPM in 2013 in video.  

Can't be that old. YouTube put up today. Surely, you understand the present media outlets are paid to shun her.

Soul Glow's picture

Blythe - derivative manipulator extreme - the name will forever live in infamy.

macholatte's picture




“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.”

-- Benjamin Franklin


Soul Glow's picture

I'll have a beer.

- Ben Franklin

Big Slick's picture

Elizabeth Warren - There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody. ... You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for; you hired workers the rest of us paid to educate; you were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory, and hire someone to protect against this, because of the work the rest of us did. Now look, you built a factory and it turned into something terrific, or a great idea. God bless. Keep a big hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is, you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.

eatthebanksters's picture

To Elizabeth Warren:  Isn't that why I pay taxes?

GetZeeGold's picture





"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes."

kralizec's picture

Rough beast slouching...

GetZeeGold's picture




Bitch gets around.

samcontrol's picture

who is the only idiot giving down arrows just for the fuck of it ?

GetZeeGold's picture





We call him the lone junkster.

WillyGroper's picture

Kinda telling the placing of females in these positions.

The big setup.

Can they keep it going until the Hill gets voted in?

Soul Glow's picture

I agree in the cases of Hillary, LaGarde, and Ol' Yeller.  With Blythe it is more of a matter of her behind the scenes skills.

MisterMousePotato's picture

All these comments below? (It's like Tony Soprano being made Chief of the New Jersey State Police, etc.?)

Uh ... anyone ever hear of Timothy Geitner? Charles Rangel? Marion Barry? Alcee Hastings?

Give me a break.

eatthebanksters's picture

I'd still bang her if I was wearing my beer goggles...

Crash Overide's picture

So wait this is the start of the take down right? The one where Blythe & JPM are guilty of many crimes and the DOJ knows it so they put her on the CFTC board to you know tell them exactly what has been going on so they can unwind this thing and free the market and end the manipulation so all can trade freely in such a glorious manor right...? Please tell me it is so...? Scumbag bankers going to jail soon...?

I mean this is so crazy it has to be unicorns right?

limit_less's picture

Crash - I think your words are worth repeating

"they put her on the CFTC board to you know, tell them exactly what has been going on so they can unwind this thing "

tickhound's picture

This appointment isn't a "development" .. Nor is it a sign of the times. This is TYPICAL. This IS how things work. This is how things are done. It's FAMILY.

Lore's picture

Inside humor: Name cards that begin with "Honorable."  HAHAHAHA!

"How Did It Come To This?"

ParkAveFlasher's picture

This just in, Tony Soprano promoted to NJ State Police Chief.

GetZeeGold's picture




Does this mean the CFTC will be conducting human sacrifices in public now?

Muddy1's picture

@Four Chan,

Speaking of naked shorts,

TeamDepends's picture

May the farce be with you

(like a cheap fucking suit)

machineh's picture

Bernie Madoff for Treasury secretary!

Every man a billionaire (on paper).

Al Gorerhythm's picture

Corzine for Treasury Secretary.

prains's picture

Please don't forgert Blythe is a stand in Bum model for Warren at photo shoots.

Dr. Engali's picture

And you never go full retard.