Dutch Bankers "Swear To God" They'll Be Honest From Now On

Tyler Durden's picture


Following rate-rigging scandals, FX manipulation debacles, insider-trading idiocy, and over-aggressive lending practices, bankers are taking a different approach in regaining some public trust. As Jamie Dimon gives himself a "well-deserved" pay rise, Dutch bankers are turning to God... As Bloomberg reports, all 90,000 Dutch bank employees will take an oath 'to do no harm' as it were, punishable by the Banking Association. While Goldman may be doing God's work; the Dutch are vowing to Him to enhance confidence in their industry.



Via Bloomberg,

The oath...


“I swear that I will do my utmost to preserve and enhance confidence in the financial-services industry. So help me God.”


...is the first of its kind in Europe, became binding on board members of Dutch banks last month as the government sought to rein in an industry with assets more than four times the size of the country’s economy.


All 90,000 Dutch bank employees must take the pledge, or a non-religious affirmation, starting the second half of this year. They’ll be punished should they break new ethical rules, Banking Association Chairman Chris Buijink said in an interview in Amsterdam.


Dutch bankers who fail to abide by the new rules may be blacklisted, face fines or suspensions




It’s a good signal to your employees and brings back awareness of the importance of these values,” said Bruggink, 50, who’s been CFO of the biggest Dutch mortgage lender since 2004. “It fits in with these times, where banks have to work hard to restore trust.”




“Other professions, such as lawyers and doctors, have a long-standing tradition of ethics,” he said. “With bankers, however, we don’t really know what the professional standards entail. More so, we don’t really know what ‘‘the banker” is. There is a large variation of roles within the industry.’’

It would seem they have a long way to go...

Thirty-four percent of Dutch citizens expressed trust in the finance industry last year compared with 90 percent in 2008

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Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:16 | 4411108 GetZeeGold
Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:18 | 4411116 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

I trust the Dutch more than the satanic assholes who run our Country.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:22 | 4411128 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

It looks impressive, but what does it do?

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:27 | 4411144 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Dutch bankers are sweating the " Nexit " chant .... that is all.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:35 | 4411165 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

"preserve and enhance confidence in the financial-services industry"


what a great pledge

because the way to enhance "confidence" is to lie and mislead

"I want you to feel good inside about the worthless piece of crap I just handed you"

"these are not the droids you're looking for"

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 10:08 | 4411417 Stuart
Stuart's picture

publicly hang a couple of them and leave them dangling from a few trees in the center of "town", that'll motivate the others to clean up their act.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 10:41 | 4411543 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

What unanticipated "act of God" awaits to give the bankers absolution for the disappearance of wealth?

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 11:13 | 4411643 TheGoldMyth
TheGoldMyth's picture

Newsboy Fri 02/07/2014 4411543

The "act of go[l]d you speak of" is they will realise that they have as it is sometimes expressed, "shitloads of go[l]d" and don't know what to do with it or who to sell it back to. Quite a predicament. For now they have sworn to go[l]d that they will keep selling to and from if necessary tp ensure it remains scarce somewhat.

Only crumbs must remain for the illusion to be complete.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 12:39 | 4411947 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

Once a liar...always a liar. Trust is a very fragile thing, once you lose it you almost never get it back completely. There's always that little nagging voice inside that says, 'you can't trust them.'

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 13:31 | 4412242 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

We can call this new bankers' creed the "Hypocritic Oath"

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 11:24 | 4411673 daemon
daemon's picture

" Dutch bankers are sweating the " Nexit " chant ... "

Yes :  " I'M ON THE HIIIIIIIGHWAY TO HE .......ven ! "     

Lapsus strictly forbidden .

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:34 | 4411181 curbjob
curbjob's picture

... what does it do ?

makes god even less relevant.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:48 | 4411273 TheGoldMyth
TheGoldMyth's picture

Newsboy Fri, 02/07/2014 08;22 4411128
They have to swear to do not harm to the Lord Go[l]d in this particular cult/religion. And vow to maintain scarcity, buy up invertories no matter how much fiat it takes.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 10:41 | 4411540 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

This is like Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown. . .   again.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:36 | 4411178 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Besides tourists you won't see many people in Churches anymore here in Europe.


"I swear to god"...



actually they go together hand in hand...


They filled your pockets with stones, threw you in a river and if you drowned you where telling the truth...


Fri, 02/07/2014 - 10:09 | 4411413 The Dunce
The Dunce's picture

Somebody needs to go to jail.  Anybody.  Word to your mother.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 12:20 | 4411871 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

You can have all the plebe foot soldiers swear, but it will be very difficult for the Dutch banks to function as "above board" when the entire global banking system is a festering cesspool of corruption an unsavory practices. How can the top execs plan to uphold their oath while swimming in that mess? Perhaps a few key players WON'T be swearing an oath?

If it is genuine; I applaud it, we need all the help we can get. However for me, this conjures up images like emperor Constantine's so called "conversion" to christianity.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:17 | 4411111 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Hang 'em early, hang 'em often...

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:26 | 4411138 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

As we see in our America, laws and oaths are meaningless as it is the enforcement and punishment that actually define the rules.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:37 | 4411210 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

^^^this.  Send them directly to God, let them explain in person.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:19 | 4411114 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

If they keep jumping off roofs they dont need to lie about what they will do in the future.  Keep it up guys, we are loving it.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:28 | 4411160 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

I doubt those who have been "suicided" were suffering from guilt as much as they simply knew too much and could be compromised. The world is full of fucking geniuses thinking they are doing God's work when their direct supervisor is Satan.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:20 | 4411118 q99x2
q99x2's picture

They are like pedophiles. They won't stop until they are locked behind bars.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:23 | 4411132 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Wudda ya mean......."like"?

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:20 | 4411119 Sufiy
Sufiy's picture

Oh, ye they can start with returning the leased out Gold...

Bitcoin Plunges As Exchange Mt. Gox Pauses All Withdrawals Due To Technical Issues

Bitcoin Bubble is getting into the new stage of its development and we will see very soon what kind of technical issues are really holding the withdrawals from Mt. Gox. You can easily find a lot of allegations about the very sloppy service at least concerning withdrawals from this exchange on YouTube.
  Meanwhile the crackdown on Bitcoin continues, after China bans Bitcoin from all financial institutions and numerous warnings by the Central Banks, Russia is taking very strong stance against Bitcoin. "Gold 2.0" scam is losing this Financial War in countries, which are accumulating Gold and encouraging its citizens to do the same.



Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:25 | 4411137 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

These countries know what many already know, when fraud is the status quo, possession is the law.

Cryptocurrencies do nothing to address the fraud and moral hazard of fascism and failure to prosecute paper-pushers...


Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:26 | 4411152 lordbyroniv
lordbyroniv's picture



buy rare comic books !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:32 | 4411168 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

great...demand for comic books should be epic in a financial apocalypse. More escape from reality.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 10:28 | 4411502 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I can think of many circumstances where a fucking can of beans and jug of spring water has great value.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:33 | 4411179 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

once you allow for "multiple" layers of law...then "say hello to the law of averages."

the Netherlands should be rich beyond belief as well...but they're in the euro...paying into a fundamentally bankrupt system.

chasing the bankers out won't work.

unfortunately for them they can't return to Dutch Guilders either.

They can try and form a currency Union with their Northern neighbors.

Interestingly Norway isn't part of the EU.
Hmmmmm. I wonder why that is....

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:21 | 4411120 texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

Hmmmm.....it usually takes incarceration with Ben Dover to illicit these conversions.  Will this kind be any more sincere?  Doubtful.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:21 | 4411121 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Ethical bankers! The oxymoron of the new millenium.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:19 | 4411122 Last of the Mid...
Last of the Middle Class's picture

Hang 'em first then let 'em swear an oath go God on their own time. Let him sort 'em out

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:20 | 4411124 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Because nobody that swears on a bible lies...

Just like nobody lies before congress about NSA spying or they go to jail.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:22 | 4411125 GoldRetriever
GoldRetriever's picture

They already have an oath they recite each morning at Goldman Sachs. It's called the "Lloyd's Prayer." 

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:22 | 4411129 horot
horot's picture

Meanwhile in USA things are exactly the opposite.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:28 | 4411150 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



We export evil.....but we import good.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:55 | 4411343 TheGoldMyth
TheGoldMyth's picture

GetZeeGold Fri, 02/07/2014 8;28 4411150
Your spelling is very poor lol "We export evil.....but we import good."

We export evil.....but we import gold

This scarcity must be maintained at all times. Being a central bank is very hard work. Or ...evil is very inefficient and has not figured out how to save itself yet, hence all the noise and chatter.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:21 | 4411130 sudzee
sudzee's picture

I guess all Muslims are out of a job.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 10:29 | 4411131 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Sorry, only through bankruptcy and execution will they "learn"anything.  Apologies are now meaningless, there needs to be real fucking consequences otherwise nothing changes...

same as it ever was.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:24 | 4411133 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Confidence is the underpinning of the world economy. It has been so abused and corrupted that the term itself has even lost meaning. Instead, the current understanding of the word is to simply imply that the corruption is likely to continue. CON-fidence should be its amended spelling.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:25 | 4411142 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

The talmud teaches that lying and cheating gentiles is perfectly fine in the eyes of their god. Funniest article I've seen today.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:25 | 4411146 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Beaten to death with bible belts, we swear ....

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:29 | 4411153 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:32 | 4411163 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



It's either that.....or the whip!


Pick one.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:32 | 4411170 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

WB, the sign message is SO startling that its FUNNY!

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:34 | 4411180 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

I'm STILL laughing!

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:37 | 4411189 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

I wish Christ would return to flog some banking ass, but the return of Christ combined with the great Mosaic plagues- all inflicted upon bankers of course.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 12:26 | 4411904 css1971
css1971's picture

My what a WASP Jesus was.

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 12:50 | 4411995 smacker
smacker's picture

Nice and subtle :-)

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