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    05/26/2016 - 05:58
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Gartman Does It Again... Again

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It is becoming more uncomfortable to make fun of Dennis Gartman's always incorrect calls (see here and here and here and here) than to watch Richard Simmons' Obamacare commercials, but... well - it's just too funny.

 

Just days after confidently explaining to the CNBC audience and all his newsletter-followers that the S&P 500 could see a 15% correction:

"I just think you're going to have a very severe, very substantive and really quite ugly correction that will probably make a lot of people wail and gnash their teeth before it's done,"

February 3rd (Ugly Correction coming - S&P 500 at 1,742)

 

...the world-renowned Dennis Gartman has done it again

February 10th (I'd say I was wrong... you can't be short - S&P 500 at 1,799.5)

 

"vociferously, I'd say I was wrong"

adding in his usual authoritative manner - prideless to the end:

"The one thing I will tell you is: You can't be short. It's still a bull market. That's what's really important. It's one thing to lose money. It's another thing not to make money. And if you're short, you're losing money."

Seems like $29.99 well spent to us?...

 

And in that one sentence, Gartman gave the implicit all-clear to sell Mortimer sell - sell it all...

But wait, there's more... despite thinking stocks could drop 15% and now that stocks are in a bull market, Gartman notes,

"I'm still neutral on equities..."

 

Brian Kelly adds at the end - desparately trying not to entirely destroy what is left of Gartman's credibility...

"Unlike the Godfather, Dennis Gartman, I am still short. And I think you can be short this market," he said. "I think there's a real risk that (Federal Reserve Chair) Janet Yellen comes out a lot more hawkish than people have priced in here, and I don't think the emerging-market currency issues are over. I think we're just in the eye of the storm."

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Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:22 | 4422607 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Gartman> There is a 100 percent chance that I am full of shit. 

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:22 | 4422613 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

So many charlatans, so little time.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:27 | 4422619 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

i'd take parenting advice from Charlie Sheen before i took investing/trading advice from Fartman !

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:38 | 4422655 dryam
dryam's picture

He reminds me a of palm readers.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:50 | 4422689 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

"The worst vice is advice."

Why does anyone pay someone else to tell them what to think?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 00:13 | 4422751 So Close
So Close's picture

At some point the odds of him being wrong again get pretty small.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 00:57 | 4422860 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

If you drop it on your foot, and it hurts..., it must have been your ego.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 01:17 | 4422889 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

Ha! You've (we've) been watching too much tv...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 02:29 | 4422988 zhandax
zhandax's picture

"At some point the odds of him being wrong again get pretty small."

If you are at a roulette wheel and have bet on red 12 times and the ball has dropped on black 12 times, what are the odds the ball drops on black the next spin?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 03:01 | 4423015 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Exactly the same as every other drop. Independent events.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:14 | 4423708 Concentrated po...
Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.'s picture

Same bookshelf, different skyline?

It's almost as if the Financial News is as much bullshit as the Nightly News...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:15 | 4423351 Canoe Driver
Canoe Driver's picture

This weary old saw about the probabilties of independent events is pablum for mathematical poseurs. Ask this, what are the odds of a SERIES of 13 consecutive black drops on a roulette wheel? How about 14? 20? If the probabilities of these serial events occurring does not decrease in your calculus, it is amateur at best. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:13 | 4424364 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

The chance of 13 black drops is half (50 50) of 12 black drops, right?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 01:17 | 4422890 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

At some point the odds of him being wrong again get pretty small.

Especially when he called for a correction in a bull market but is neutral on equities. When you think about that, Gartman is saying it could go down but it might go up so I'm not doing anything. So how could he be wrong?

 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:31 | 4423399 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture

 

 

Maybe a butterfly spread?

 

 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 00:11 | 4422752 So Close
So Close's picture

At some point the odds of him being wrong again get pretty small.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 01:39 | 4422923 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Gee, if I made that many mistakes I'd be fired but Gartman gets a Fat Salary, I bet!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 01:46 | 4422934 akak
akak's picture

No ...... that one is just too easy.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:05 | 4424072 Boxed Merlot
Boxed Merlot's picture

.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 04:54 | 4423123 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Blue Horseshoe LOVES Blue Star!

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:27 | 4422620 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

GARTMAN, aka, Lewinsky:

 

"I swear I never swallowed!"

 

Oh, you mean market questions? Whatever.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 03:41 | 4423056 Mister Kitty
Mister Kitty's picture

Gartman is just another Ivy League stooge who gets nothing right.  Bastard.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 08:42 | 4423309 t0mmyBerg
t0mmyBerg's picture

Actually he went to NC State or something

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 04:54 | 4423125 The.Harmless.Who
The.Harmless.Who's picture

 

Who is Gartman???  

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 05:00 | 4423128 akak
akak's picture

You know that flabby strip of fat that you find on the outside of a piece of prime rib?  The sticky, greasy, rubbery stuff that is utterly disgusting and that you hate to even touch, let alone eat?  The useless bovine adipose tissue that adheres to the good meat and has to be trimmed away and discarded, only to rot and stink like a dead skunk in your garbage can?

That is Dennis Gartman.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:35 | 4423410 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture

 

 

C'mon Akak, don't soft-peddle your opinions,

tell us what you REALLY think.

 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:40 | 4423603 thestarl
thestarl's picture

Double whammy bald and fuckin fat big fucking useless prick get a real job you arsehole

Wonder if he's ever got off his big fat cellulite arse and ever done anything resembling physical work in his life

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:49 | 4423648 tradebot
tradebot's picture

Y'all can't say much...everyone of you were saying the same thing.  So don't get on his ass too bad.  The people here have been saying we were going to collapse any second for the last 5 yrs.  Crying wolf would be a better way to describe you guys.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:21 | 4422611 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Most here were saying the same thing as well....

 

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:47 | 4422681 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Gartman means dummkopf in german.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:57 | 4422707 deflator
Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:24 | 4422614 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

I read far better commentary in this comment section than any advice the talking fools have to say.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:26 | 4422615 Nutflush60
Nutflush60's picture

I am short Gartman in Cramer terms. Or is is the other way around?

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:34 | 4422628 akak
akak's picture

Ironically, both work equally well.

As for myself, I am definitely long Gartman in Krispy Kreme terms. 
One might even say that my portfolio is heavy Gartman. VERY heavy Gartman.

I would, however, stay away from Gartman futures at all costs.
One needs far too much leverage to play with the big boys in that market.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:27 | 4422621 Nutflush60
Nutflush60's picture

Seriously, if Yellen breaks the market tomorrow, could he actually show his face in public again.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:32 | 4422632 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Tomorrow we will see Yellen say absolutely nothing and a market that will do absolutely anything.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:52 | 4422691 deflator
deflator's picture

Whatever she says tomorrw will probably be a head fake.. I see spot gold prices percolating tonight so not everybody is certain about what Yellin a handbasket will do.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:31 | 4422635 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Sure he can, cause he's living off that $243/ appearance CNBC money......

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:28 | 4422623 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Fuck so now we go short because Fartman is bullish, or do we go long because Banco de Americano is bearish? I'm so confused. Maybe another glass of wine will help.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:49 | 4422656 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Maybe buy both calls and puts on the Triple-Ultra Inverse funds.  My head spins.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 00:35 | 4422808 BeanusCountus
BeanusCountus's picture

Market mover, this Gartman. Goin long equities as soon as I can, shorting gold. No, wait! Shorting equities asap and going long gold!!!

Geeez!! Doing anything either for or against this newsletter salesman is like betting for or against Punksawtany Phil. And my money is on Phil.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:35 | 4422651 akak
akak's picture

I guess my dyslexic broker was correct after all when he kept insisting that Gartman was bullshit on the stock market.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:38 | 4422653 Dogbark
Dogbark's picture

My best free advice is this - piss into the wind. If the stream goes right, you short the market and f it goes left you go long.

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:40 | 4422664 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Wow !! So he bet red , black AND even green on the roulette wheel.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 04:37 | 4423104 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

He put it all on PURPLE

 

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:44 | 4422677 PowerPlayer
PowerPlayer's picture

It is absolutely amazing how wrong this guy can be.  I have made considerable money doing the opposite of what he says to do.  How is this guy still employed?

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 23:51 | 4422693 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

He is correct though, the line held, it was a perfect bounce from the bottom of the channel we have been trading in for over a year and this afternoon we broke though the 20 day moving average, tomorrow or some time this week when we explode through the 50 day its off to the races then what?

 

He admitted that he was wrong, when will the bears admit they are wrong?  tonight as we trade through 1800?  When we trade past 1900, 2000, or 2200 later this year? Maybe next year as we pass 3000? 

 

New highs are just a formality at this point.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 00:03 | 4422720 deflator
deflator's picture

New highs are just a formality at this point.

No question mark on that statement? although I agree that they need higher markets to chase away their deflation demons, they will inevitably overshoot and cause a fat tail on the high side.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 00:21 | 4422778 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

When you take your morning walk tomorrow, don’t forget your dowsing rods to conclude falling knives or dead cat bounce market prediction.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 00:08 | 4422734 Nutflush60
Nutflush60's picture

You need to survive what is shaping up to being rocky earnings in Q1.  However, if the market does that, you could see new highs by May.

However, with slowing auto and housing, I do not think the market gets past Q1 earnings.

 

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