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Barclays Fires 12,000; Reports Horrible Earnings, Awards Itself Bigger Bonuses

Tyler Durden's picture


It is not easy for one bank to anger more people with one announcement than what Barclays did in the past 24 hours. In one fell swoop, the British bank infuriated shareholders after announcing dismal earnings (an adjusted Q4 profit of about 200 million pounds and a statutory profit of less than 100 million as investment banking income slumped 37% as income fell 9% to 10.7 billion due to a fall in fixed income, and it took further charges related to a cleanup of the banking industry in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis) which sent the share price sliding, it then pissed off UK workers and taxpayers after it announced it would hike investment bank bonuses by 13% despite the abovementioned profit slump, and finally it crushed 9% of its workforce, or 12,000 workers, who are set to prepare pink slips as the bank "streamlines."

Barclays said 820 senior roles would go, and half of those were cut at the investment bank in the last two weeks. It cut 7,650 jobs last year, including 1,400 in the investment bank, as part of a restructuring unveiled a year ago by Jenkins to cut 1.7 billion pounds of annual costs. There were 139,600 Barclays employees by the end of the year.

More from Reuters:

Stepping up efforts to cut costs, Barclays said up to 9 percent of employees could go, including 7,000 in Britain, where half of the affected staff had already been notified. The cuts are not concentrated in any single business area.


Britain's third-biggest bank said it paid 2.4 billion pounds ($3.9 billion) in incentive awards last year after raising bonuses at the investment bank by 13 percent despite a slump in profits from the business. The average bonus across the investment bank's 26,200 staff was 60,100 pounds.


The combination of lay-offs and fatter bonuses drew indignation from Britain's biggest labor union.


"The culture change the bank promised will be less than skin deep if those at the top still hoover up obscene amounts of money while workers in call centers and branches struggle by on low wages and face the persistent pressure of job insecurity," said Ciaran Naidoo of Unite the Union.

Under fire, Barclay's new CEO Anthony Jenkins was forced to defend the bonus hike decision, saying the bank had to recruit the best staff to compete with global rivals and continued to have "constructive" talks with investors over pay. "We need to recruit people from Singapore to San Francisco. We need the best people in the bank to drive long-term sustainable returns for our shareholders," Jenkins told reporters on a conference call. "I understand that there will be some (people) who feel that this decision is the wrong one for Barclays. But it is the decision of the board and myself that this entirely is the right decision for the group and in the long-term interests of shareholders," he said.

Finally, it wouldn't be a bank if it didn't blame someone. Sure enough, as we predicted would happen in 2009 after the backlash against HFT and vacuum tubes became instituionalized, that someone is "technology":

Jenkins said banking was going through a "100-year transformation" as technology and cost pressures reshape the industry, and he was optimistic that Barclays was well set for a "pivotal" 2014.

Well, time to hire some algos then: we hear they are easy on the contract negotiations. Or, failing that, the bank can just appoint "a junior trader as interim head of its London spot foreign exchange desk, illustrating a thinning out of the ranks after a torrent of traders has departed or been suspended amid a global probe into alleged market manipulation."

And just like that, the E-trade babies - with zero non-ZIRP world experience - and their collocated toys, have literally taken over the banking asylum.


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Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:01 | 4423322 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Barclays Fires 12,000


Unemployment drops to 4.6%

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:15 | 4423355 Mister Kitty
Mister Kitty's picture

In the words of Lloyd Blankfein, they are merely doing God's work.  Creating new markets for welfare and food stamps.  Bastards.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:57 | 4423491 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

As the middle class gets destroyed the banks will find the ground beneath their feet starting to disappear more and more.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:07 | 4423523 Stuart
Stuart's picture

Where's Cromwell when you need him again, and he is needed.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:17 | 4423556 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

To which I would add:

Turn again Whittington
O worthy citizen

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:37 | 4423796 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

The combination of lay-offs and fatter bonuses drew indignation from Britain's biggest labor union.

Does anyone besides me remember Chain Saw Jack?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:00 | 4423870 STP
STP's picture

Oh yeah!  Jack Dunlap, of Sunbeam fame, professional CEO/dickhead loved by Wall Street, for his ability to come into a troubled company, fire everybody, sell off the assets, leaving it an empty shell and call it a good thing.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:04 | 4423909 max2205
max2205's picture

All systems go!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 16:19 | 4424919 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

I believe that, too, was the reason Mitt Romney appealed to so many Republicans.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:52 | 4424056 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

No but I remember this Chainsaw.  He'd wipe that thing out in the bars when doing a show.  Was AWESOME!


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 15:00 | 4424549 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Chain Saw Jack.  Yeah, he was a 'genius', wasn't he?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:07 | 4423524 PT
PT's picture

... and then they will have to sack even more workers and pay out even more bonuses.

I agree that the world needs less bankers but I'm quite sure they sacked the wrong ones.  If they had have been a bit more savvy then they could have sacked different bankers and saved themselves 2.4 billion pounds in bonuses alone! 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:14 | 4423544 Stuart
Stuart's picture

I'll keep an eye out for newspaper headlines about Barclay bankers that include revelations what floors they worked on. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:19 | 4423555 PT
PT's picture

...~ "an adjusted Q4 profit of 200 million pounds", "statutory profit of 100 million pounds" and bonuses of 2.4 billion.  Am I ignorant or are the shareholders missing out, just a little bit?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:40 | 4423619 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Look at it this way, the big banks biggest shareholders are their own competitors (other banks), so if you return copious amounts of cash to your shareholders, you are in effect subsidizing you competition's bonus pool and facilitating your own shareholders poaching your best staff from you.

It's best to simply not be an "investor" in banks.

(depositors being among a bank's investors)

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:34 | 4423772 PT
PT's picture

Aaaaaahhh, of course.  Thank you.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:08 | 4423920 max2205
max2205's picture

No interest for You!....interest nazi

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:09 | 4423527 dbTX
dbTX's picture

Peter Pan, One can only hope so.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:57 | 4423660 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

"That's why we're richer than you!"

- Bob Diamond, Rich Ricci, Jerry del Missier, Marcus Agius and Antony Jenkins.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:54 | 4423858 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Everyone agrees that the Middle Class is getting wiped out, right?  Well, there's a name for a society that has no Middle Class to speak of and we had it for many centuries:

FEUDALISM, MFers.  Welcome to FEUDALISM 2.0.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 17:32 | 4425207 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Sigh, if only some enterprising Captain would lob a few photon torpedoes into the City of London, NYC, Washington DC, maybe Paris...(it's for the best!)

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:10 | 4424350 EastCoast90
EastCoast90's picture

Since the banks are owned by the international banking cartel I don't think they care, they just want to complete one last big wealth grab before they close up shop and hit the road.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:22 | 4423366 knukles
knukles's picture

Success of the Progressives
More people enjoying more enriching time to pursue intellectual activities!

Quick, scoop a up million illegal immigrants. Put them on 5 hour weeks, no medical costs, apply for more bailouts and we'll be swimming in rescue funds.

Blowjobs all around boys!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:36 | 4423418 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Who gives a shit about these leaches anyway?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:56 | 4423488 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Hey, as long as we're all getting free blowjobs, life is good.

Just make sure the one's giving the blowjobs aren't transgendered midgets that supply porn to the SEC.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:00 | 4423496 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

anyone who has to deal with the inevitable consequences of their actions?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:09 | 4423525 thestarl
thestarl's picture

And they seem content to shove it up our arses and watch the whole thing burn these motherfuckers

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:27 | 4423542 thestarl
thestarl's picture

But eventually these cunts are going to burn with us and those of us that are left will i repeat do them fucking slow and show these CUNTS no mercy whatsoever

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:22 | 4423367 BandGap
BandGap's picture

What a crock of shit. They fire people and then tell us they had to hand out huge bonuses in order to recruit? How fucking stupid do they think we are?

They got the bonuses because they see the shitstorm coming and they know they have to load up. They have their bags packed for the lifeboats leaving the Titanic. Should be fun to watch and see how many rats they can pack aboard when the water starts rising. Hope the seas aren't too rough.

And Mr. Kitty, I really could give a shit about your day and what you ate.

PS - I had a floater this morning.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:56 | 4423489 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

What are you talking about?

"No-one could possibly have predicted it". That will be the often repeated mantra. And who are we to argue with a man in a very nice suit?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:57 | 4423864 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

My only question is:  So, when do they 'dance', Hangman Style?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:42 | 4423436 booboo
booboo's picture

"You may want to put some Ice on that"

Bill Clinton to Yunita Brodrick after assaulting her.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:14 | 4423550 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Barclays is in the same condition as one of those crappy British Generals in WW11 who lost his whole Tank Division; they should just give them a pistol and leave them in their room to do "the honorable thing".  T wenty minutes unti lthe STAWK market starts going up and down and sideways, and I'm sitting on nins and peedles because I'm already somewhat wrong on my short. I hope the muppets find something to temper their enthusiasm.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:46 | 4423642 Superdude
Superdude's picture

Not gonna happen. The gap between elites and others is really starting to show, which is not good. I don't know what's next, but smart slave owners were the ones that gave hope to the workers for a night on the porch. We're fighting for the next piece of crap from apple, meanwhile the owners are not letting go of their endless profits. Workers have to have incentives for owners to keep the peace. Firing 1200 while giving a bigger bonus is not creating the kind of incentive in workers that will end well for barclays. They might have the current government bought and paid for, but when the masses get pissed off and link up in a mob run on emotion, all bets are off. It's at that point that numbers count. Plus those in power currently have graciously trained many of the working class to kill and operate lethal equipment. Their buddies have sold lower class means to aide in the destruction of the owners. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 17:33 | 4425217 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

You walk into the rigged casino(s), then bitch about getting ripped off -- WTF?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:02 | 4423324 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

@ fonestar:

What was once the world's largest Bitcoin exchange, Mt. Gox, appeared near collapse, the latest symbol of the woes facing early players in the world of virtual currencies. A few days after cutting off withdrawals for customers, Mt. Gox said on Monday that its problems were a result of a fundamental flaw in the computer program that underlies Bitcoin.

fonestar = fail

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:05 | 4423334 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

"...Mt. Gox said on Monday that its problems were a result of a fundamental flaw in the computer program that underlies Bitcoin."

That's what I'd say if my business failed.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:15 | 4423348 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

can we all fuck off with the bitcoin stuff for one thread please?

12k bankers just lost their jobs. a few bank tellers may lose a fight with a nail gun today.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:18 | 4423359 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Banks don't have tellers anymore, they have "junior inquisitors".

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:27 | 4423387 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

And a whole lot of "trainees",

fresh-faced weenies wearing badges and goofy smiles.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:01 | 4423504 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Phonestar was probably running Mt. Gox and was trolling as many websites as possible to direct as many sheep into his shearing pen before the whole thing collapsed.

Cellphonestar = Madoff

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:00 | 4423507 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Under fire, Barclay's new CEO Anthony Jenkins was forced to defend the bonus hike decision, saying the bank had to recruit the best staff to compete with global rivals and continued to have "constructive" talks with investors over pay. "We need to recruit people from Singapore to San Francisco. We need the best people in the bank to drive long-term sustainable returns for our shareholders," Jenkins told reporters on a conference call.


Top criminal con men do NOT come cheap Ladies and Gentlemen.  Did I say that out loud?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:24 | 4423373 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

"12K bankers lost their jobs" = WHO GIVES A FUCK? Let them rot for what they participated in.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 22:24 | 4426416 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

now, if its 12,000 bankers shoot themselves with nail the back of the head....then I'm all ears....just walking out unscathed, who cares.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:35 | 4423401 CrazyCatLady
CrazyCatLady's picture

+ 10 Million fonz

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:16 | 4423353 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

What happened after the next-to-last btc crash?   And the one before that?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:15 | 4423345 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

The transparency of the BTC exchanges is about as transparent as the OTC ABS market.  Valued the same way as well.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:23 | 4423364 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

In the interest of simply sharing information.  I know of at least one very intelligent computer science person with an MBA who was hired by JPM to make sure "they have a substantial position in cryptocurrencies".  It is what it is.   The issue of moral hazard remains, bitcoin/litecoin does nothing to fix or address that.  When the TBTF banks are broken up, the Fed has been ended, and half of the executives from the financial world are rotting in prison along with their political puppets, then things might have changed.  Until then you only need to know one rule; When fraud is the status quo, possession is the law.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:29 | 4423396 BandGap
BandGap's picture

JPM needs skin in the game. They don't have any more gold or silver. Cryptocurrencies are their substitute.

They are the perfect medium for merging all currencies, and they circumvent the arguement concerning precious metals and true worth. They keep the ponzi going. . This is also in line with what the US is doing, they have no more gold. I can see the US (might makes right) forcing the rest of the world, or at least making the case for it, to accept this "new" currency.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:35 | 4423408 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

They might not have PMs, but they do have back door access to a printer and can therefore purchase as much cryptocurrency as they like.  Anyone else catch that 11-billion dollar REPO, right after bitcoin plunged?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:38 | 4423623 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

Yep - You nailed it Laws of Physics. Speculation cant replace a market for much longer as Barclay's is showing. Banking is slowly becoming boring again and by government not at least forcing out executives from the market when they should, it damaged and delayed confidence. A symbolic gesture would have boosted confidence if nothing else.

The top echelon isnt going to jail, be it politico or banker. Even if whistleblowers keep coming out like Snowden. There are reasons why the FED is tapering and will do so in fits and spurts. Lets say hyperinflation certainly means an end to their franchise in the US and political revolution (which can take a few forms) if not turn into real violence. No, we're going to get several more years of stagflation as I said multiple times here and now we see Stilgitz, dissenting Fed and IB's saying the same thing. Stagflation and not growing crushes our collective psyche, we are programmed to grow not wilt for fifteen years which is what we have experienced and will continue doing so.

JPM is investing in peer-to-peer because it widens the distribution model of commerce, I did some math on this in 2008. Your exactly right Laws of Physics it doesnt fix the corruption, the market will do this or call it evolution but its now the slow, maddening route. The percent of revenue was a few percent. But in a world where revenue from speculation has to shrink, it makes all the sense in the world for banking to invest.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:05 | 4423326 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

As per the usual.  Keep all the overpaid "chiefs" and fire all the people who actually deliver the "service".

Sounds pretty much like all of 'merica. when you think about it.  The good news is that at least some more paper-pushers might have to work for a living (what's that? obama is giving them a "free" phone, "free" healthcare and a "free" stipend, fuck me...)

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:07 | 4423336 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Well at least they cross trained the bosses to do the services work. Or did they?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:17 | 4423354 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"work" - LMFAO!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:24 | 4423372 knukles
knukles's picture

Don't knock the service economy.

We'll find the service part... And the viable economy parts... Later

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:46 | 4423464 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Employment, job, labor, work, take ur pick but don't laugh to hard, the piped piper is playing your tune and marching toward the river, you do know the ending to this don't you?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:18 | 4423361 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

you mean pumping $85B per month into US banks put Barclays at a competitive disadvantage and forced them to cut?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:26 | 4423380 toady
toady's picture

That's small potatoes compaired to what the fed puts into Barclays every month. The real question is, when does the merry go round stop?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:07 | 4423529 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Barclays is a Fed primary dealer, their mouth is firmly on the teat.

Never mind , its only the banking system imploding again.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:55 | 4423853 saltedGold
saltedGold's picture

[As per the usual.  Keep all the overpaid "chiefs" and fire all the people who actually deliver the "service".]

This reminds me of the startup I worked at 13 years ago.  There were about 240 employees, we raised $100m in VC and had a great product.  Got a few guys in, from a large corporation that everyone has heard of, to play president, VP, etc.  Six months later they're doing layoffs.  Another six months, more layoffs.  About six months after that, company closed.  Throughout that entire time, the new execs were siphoning off all the cash while cutting employee perks and benefits. (and jobs)  I learned a lot from that job. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:04 | 4423327 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

What? AM I supposed to feel bad for the poor bankers and despise the E Trade babies? Banks ASKED for this. They salivated over global central bank liquidity. What comes with that? Crushed volatility. I could have my dog running trades for a profit in this environment. Failure is not tolerated. Just hit the BUY button. Stop thinking this system will correct cause it won't. Just BTFD.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:13 | 4423328 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

12,000 layoffs and increased bonuses for those who made the cut.

Keep shoving that money up the pyramid, soldier.

Speaking of pyramids, the top of this one is looking more like an elongated barbeque skewer every day.

Who's on the menu?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:34 | 4423413 toady
toady's picture

It's the bankers dream! They hit the trifecta! Screw the investors, screw the workers, AND pad their bonuses? PERFECT!

And the best news is last. By doing it all in one day, they increase the odds of apathy taking hold. By next week no one will remember that they fucked EVERYONE!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:48 | 4423462 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

I'm thinking of buying a nail gun and advertising 'assisted suicides'.  Whatdaya think?

Dr. Kevorkian was old school.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:26 | 4423582 PT
PT's picture

It's the "trickle on" effect.  "You will be richer if we sack you and then you invent stuff that is so awesome that we buy it."  Umm, something like that.  The fired ones all become hookers and drug dealers???

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:23 | 4424404 NeoLuddite
NeoLuddite's picture

Life is like a menu - if you're not reading it you're on it.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:06 | 4423332 digitlman
digitlman's picture

Fire 1/2 the workforce, give bonuses to the rest.



Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:52 | 4423480 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

Any examples of a strategically important player cutting bonuses and adding workers?  Being strategically important to the system should be carrying gravitas and responsibility and higher moral standard.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:05 | 4423335 ms8172
ms8172's picture


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:14 | 4423343 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

How TF can you say that ???  Certain recent experience with banksters would lead most anyone to expect such behavior.  Fuck the many and reward the few - Crony Capitalism at its' finest.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:09 | 4423337 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

Don't worry Bitcoin will make Banks obsolete /sarc(?)

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:11 | 4423338 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Time to unravel this group of criminals!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:10 | 4423340 Max Damage
Max Damage's picture

After raising £5.6 billion recently!!!!!!!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:11 | 4423342 Apeman
Apeman's picture

Next up... robotisation of the workforce... oh wait...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:15 | 4423347 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Shareholders?...Anyone stupid enough to be financially supporting these criminals (i.e. ANY of the big banks) deserves what he/she gets.

That includes anyone conducting ANY financial transaction (e.g. depositors).

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:20 | 4423350 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Whistle-Blower tells ALL:

Barclays sells Wealth Management Custmer's dossiers -for between £50 and a paltry £8 a piece- directly to 'Glen Garry Glenross'/'Wolf Of Wall St' scam-artists hawking fake rare-earth elements investments.

"The whistleblower says he was given the ‘Barclays leads’ after they had been ‘rinsed’ – or exploited as far as is possible – and told to flog them to other traders.

Between December 2012 and September 2013, many investors were persuaded to buy rare earth metals that did not exist.

‘It was pure gold [the Barclays data] because it gave [the brokers] a psychological edge over potential investors,’ the man explained. ‘Because of its detail it allowed the brokers to get inside the minds of their targets. They knew exactly how much money these people were prepared to invest and their attitude to risk.’

When investors began to suspect they were being fleeced, the trading floor was shut down on the orders of the ‘boss’ who ran the operation. ‘We bleached the desks so his DNA was not in the office. We destroyed his laptop and 15 bags of paperwork. We wiped the computers,’ said the whistleblower.

Read more: 

Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook"




Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:15 | 4423356 Secede Or Die
Secede Or Die's picture

News Flash........12,000 added to the free shit army!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:16 | 4423360 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Britains third largest criminal enterprise, barclays PLC.

A den of theives, vipers, charlatans.

Lower than shit on a snakes belly.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:20 | 4423362 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

12,000 more banksters bite the dust.


That's a shame.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:19 | 4423363 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

Instead of firing them, why not just assasinate them like JPM does?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:23 | 4423365 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Got Matches?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:27 | 4423369 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Wow! These assholes have no shame. Not that we didn't already know that, but it just never ends with them. My guess is pretty soon things are going to escalate from banker "suicide" to outright warfare. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:27 | 4423378 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

the horror.....the horror

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:07 | 4423520 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture

Reminds me of a Monty Python sketch. The Barclays International edifice uprooting itself from Canary Wharf and plundering the seven financial centres of the world with its crew of disaffected ex-employees.  

Just as surreal and absurd as the real world of finance really. As for warfare, everyone knows JPM and the military have close ties - hell, you don't have to be familiar with Smedley Butler to know JPM uses the US army as its own private security force whenever they need muscle for their goons around the globe. (When JPM ordered a mineral survey in Afghanistan,  they, a private company,  got  the full backing and resources of ISAF). Looks like Dimon decided that it would be cheaper to hire some 'cleaners' to rid themselves of troublemakers who might add to the fines they paid last year. The cost of doing business, as they say in the mafia. These things usually come in waves, so expect more banker 'suicides'. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:22 | 4423564 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

"And now for something completely different" / love Monty Python. BarkingClay; not so much.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:26 | 4423374 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Even though we suck at banking, trading and making loans, we still need to pay our "talent" that we recruited those fat bonuses, because we have'nt completed their training as professional crooks and criminals like JPM....

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:25 | 4423376 TheCosmicTaco
TheCosmicTaco's picture

Get money from the B of E at 0.5%, lend it out on overdraft at 20%. That's their business model. It's called loan-sharking. And they still can't make a quid. A few legacy Lehman CDOs and Portuguese bonds still on the books there, lads?

Slime is what they are. Green slime.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:27 | 4423377 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

As the banks "Streamline", the IB side will get richer and the traditional banking side will get smaller.

You just don't need that many tellers when the public has no money....

Victory!!!!  Onward!!!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:32 | 4423400 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

Bonuses are in danger. Gut the company quick!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:34 | 4423412 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

That's a total bonus pool of 2.592 Billion U$.  Really, an incredible sum of money being distributed to people who produce nothing.  Paper pushers.  Banksters.  

Oops, sorry - they are assuredly doing god's work.

Never mind.  /sarc

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:39 | 4423432 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Say it with me - "Roll the motherfucking guillotines, nothing changes otherwise"

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:48 | 4423470 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Who do you suggest does the rolling? And don't tell me gravity and time cause we already know that.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:45 | 4423458 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

Look on the bright side 12,000 potential Whistleblowers on the loose

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:55 | 4424064 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Long nailguns?  Or are they too big to nail (TBTN)?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 09:54 | 4423483 Dick Gazinia
Dick Gazinia's picture

JUMP!  You Fuckers

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:13 | 4423539 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture; position: absolute; height: 9px; width: 9px; bottom: -5px; right: -5px; background-position: 100% 100%;">he combination of lay-offs and fatter bonuses drew indignation from Britain's biggest labor union.



 "if those at the top still hoover up obscene amounts of money while workers in call centers and branches struggle by on low wages and face the persistent pressure of job insecurity," 


In your face, fuck you, that is why we have MOAR Money than you.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:10 | 4423531 FreeNewEnergy
FreeNewEnergy's picture

Well, personal experience recently with Barclay's leads me to believe they are douche-bags. They gave me a credit card with a healthy line of credit at 0% interest for a year (now, seriously, who does that? Money for nothing? I guess they expect me to want the "rewards." Yeah, sure.)

Anyhow, I tried to transfer a balance from another 0% interest account that was expiring on their website, and MASSIVE FAIL four times. Finally had some Oriental on the phone do it for me, so OK, but the web site is second rate.

On another note, the banks don't like to be disparaged. Here's an actual paragraph from a "cash for keys" agreement:

NON-DISPARAGEMENT Releasors and their counsel will not, directly or indirectly, make any negative or disparaging statements against the Releasees maligning, ridiculing, defaming, or otherwise speaking ill of the Releasees, and their business affairs, practices or policies, standards, or reputation (including but not limited to statements or postings harmful to the Releasees’ business interests, reputation or good will) in any form (including but not limited to orally, in writing, on social media, internet, to the media, persons and entities engaged in radio, television or Internet broadcasting, or to persons and entities that gather or report information on trade and business practices or reliability) that relate to this Agreement...

Oh, poor bankers, don't like the reputations tarnished. As Robert De Niro said, as Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, "Suck on this."

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:18 | 4423558 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Fresh meat for the Zombies to gnaw on.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:23 | 4423570 youngman
youngman's picture stock buybacks....they must no know the new thing for have to buyback make it look like you are doing something...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:17 | 4423724 CJHames
CJHames's picture

Y'all are missing the major news of the day.  Seriously, I mean how can you NOT all be enthralled with the social significance that a bonafide cock sucker might be playing in the NFL?

You really need to get your priorities in order!


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:50 | 4423820 moneybots
moneybots's picture

"Under fire, Barclay's new CEO Anthony Jenkins was forced to defend the bonus hike decision, saying the bank had to recruit the best staff to compete with global rivals..."


Recruit who?  Jenkins is  laying off 12,000. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:48 | 4423893 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

1million for me 12,000, 10,000, 1,000, 10, ZERO for you.

I personally suggest to anyone with accounts at any of the major banks to find their way into credit unions and give the banks the big middle finger.  This way instead of just firing 12,000 they all can be fired.

honestly given the situation I don't know why anyone keeps any money anywhere but at home, in water, food, heat, ammo, medical and other supplies.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:30 | 4424439 olle
olle's picture

"The average bonus across the investment bank's 26,200 staff was 60,100 pounds."... I feel so sorry for them losing their jobs....

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