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Fed Chair Yellen's First Congressional Testimony - Live Feed

Tyler Durden's picture


We've seen the prepared remarks for both panels:

So this morning's "Monetary Policy and the State of the Economy" (Humphrey-Hawkins) hearing should be a somewhat contentious baptism of fire for Janet as the Q&A starts.




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Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:53 | 4423654 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

nice to see they got the goatskin in the background and capitol hill as a screensaver...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:07 | 4423692 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Mr. Owl, why are "safe-haven" bonds burning this morning?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:14 | 4423707 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Yellen is a Romulan.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:22 | 4423730 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:23 | 4423734 pods
pods's picture

Please Tyler don't put "Yellen" and "easy" in the same sentence.


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:27 | 4423751 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

what about... flexible, downward sloping, or reserve-less?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:32 | 4423763 SoundMoney45
SoundMoney45's picture

Just stay on the BIS provided script and all will be well.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:37 | 4423794 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Can't believe it took me this long to realize it, but "Yellen" rhymes with "felon".

Just sayin'.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:55 | 4423850 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Keep talkin' Yellen; Gold is up to 1,292.00...


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:00 | 4423883 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

My thoughts exactly. Keep this dirty old bitch on, she is gold for gold.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:03 | 4423902 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

No she's awful for gold. This is a buying phase, we need her to kill gold whilst we can accumulate. Because that baby is going to head to the moon regardless of what she says.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:10 | 4423926 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Central banking is not going to survive another generation.  There will never be a gold-backed dollar.

Too bad losers.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:22 | 4423960 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

NO MATTER WHAT, they have to give the IMPRESSION in the markets today like they LIKE what everything J-BITCH says....Its all about PERCEPTION. What a SMASHING SUCCESS she is TODAY....but i can only speak for TODAY.

God, she reminds me of Darth Vadar without the helmet.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:26 | 4423984 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

qualified sane sober people cant get a $12/hour job BUT the stock market and corporate profits are rocketing

welcome to slavery circa 2014

the system is beyond has to be overthrown

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:50 | 4424283 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

yes sir...revolution time !  (after the American Idol finale, that is !)

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:29 | 4424196 tmosley
tmosley's picture

You don't need a central bank to have a gold backed dollar.

The dollar will likely be linked to gold at some point in the future.  International trade settlement requires it, as much as we might not like that.

The best course would be for competing currencies to be legalized.  The US can issue a gold backed dollar if it wants.  People just won't trust it, having been burned very recently.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:55 | 4423851 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

She's straight up reading a script.  Hence the glasses....

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:04 | 4424019 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

a gift to my ZH real money cats...

my version of todays hearings....enjoy

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:07 | 4424103 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Good stuff, but please don't insult Yoda.  He was a prepper, went off the grid, and lived to be 900.  

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:09 | 4424113 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

yeah, ur right about that...

yoda wouldnt be havin any of their bullshit...


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:56 | 4424300 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Love the action on Bernanke.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:02 | 4424084 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That would be the prepared remarks linked above.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:40 | 4423801 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

So we could say Yellin is sooo gellin'.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:53 | 4423841 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

whatever... I wish she would pauze a bit because I need to take a piss...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:53 | 4423845 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

I coined  Yellen like a felon.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:36 | 4423791 suteibu
suteibu's picture

She sounds like George Costanza's mother.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:52 | 4423847 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

like nails on a chalkboard, or an irs audit

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:36 | 4424006 Blano
Blano's picture

As I mention below, Androgynous Pat came to mind.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:01 | 4424089 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

Grandpa Munster, al lewis

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:17 | 4424128 ipud
ipud's picture

Stifle, Edith

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:00 | 4424083 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture


Yellen reminds me of Grandpa Munster, al lewis.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:06 | 4424338 Agstacker
Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:13 | 4424363 akak
akak's picture

Empress Pamparine.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:26 | 4423743 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

WTF does maxine waters have to add to this event?


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:50 | 4423817 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

a) brains?

b) insight?

                   c) nah, just color


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:03 | 4423886 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture




d) So they will have someone that makes Yellen look attractive and intelligent by comparison



Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:06 | 4423906 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

man i don't know... even that's a bit of a stretch.

e) comedy relief maybe?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:09 | 4423918 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



f) Let the Wookie win?



Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:51 | 4424051 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here comes the income inequality BS

"is there ANYTHING the fed can do to help us nigs?"

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:11 | 4424118 john39
john39's picture

why not let the fed fix 'global warming' as well...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:53 | 4423852 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

waters supports QE.  brilliant.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:13 | 4424117 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

You know black women.  If you don't let them say what's on their mind, they'll just sit back there muttering...


"Dat ain't right"

"Oh, no she di-in't"

"Tie yo shoes girl, cuz you trippin".


Ok, fine Maxine....WHAT??  Get it out.  Hurry up!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:28 | 4424194 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:59 | 4423869 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

Painful listening to this BS..............

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:14 | 4423938 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

From Washington to Hussain, Hamilton to Yellen.

Dwarfs, freeks and clowns.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:24 | 4424167 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

I would never have believed that such a squat little troll could be so well politically "tuned," saying very little of any substance, and committing to absolutely nothing.

Well done, PTB!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:56 | 4423657 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

geeee, i wonder if the decrepit fat cow has the answers to all the questions already memorized like she did at the confirmation "hearing". what a fucking joke this clueless twit is.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 10:56 | 4423663 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I wonder what her nervous ticks will be...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:02 | 4423880 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Didn't have any idea   she





All a ruse, brain is churning at top speed with hardly a pause to spit out the words, one at a time.  But only sometimes.  What's the rule ?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:36 | 4424008 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

She does the chicken head bob really well when she becomes uncomfortable.

Perhaps her slow manner of speaking is what got the job in the first place. The retards on the hill can finally understand what someone is saying. At the very least they can identify some words. That is good enough for most of them.


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:26 | 4424169 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

The 'retards on the hill' had no role at all in her coronation other than to vote it through.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:24 | 4423665 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

thank you zh for not including a picture

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:02 | 4423673 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Looks like gold is the go to asset regardless of market movement now.

That is usually an indicator there is not a whole lot 'o' confidence floating around out there.


First lose cred, then con, then your ass....

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:14 | 4423939 BandGap
BandGap's picture

They need musc at these "events". I'm thinking the theme from Hogan's Heroes.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:04 | 4423681 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



There is no credible strategy.  The strategy is to force every other "economy" and currency into the sh*tter ahead of the U.S.  Like resting on the rail at the stern of the RMS Titanic.

(if only another ship (currency) would come by, we'd all be saved...)

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:16 | 4423721 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

at least you get to see the whole ship shink from there.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:53 | 4423839 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

And thats what the "USD ONLY for oil" buys you.  Should you decide to leave voluntarily and get off the "reservation" proceed at your own risk.  It's all we have left -just listen to this jackal and this hyena on how well it's going for their investments.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:00 | 4424311 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

yep, last man standing, relative strength

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:06 | 4423684 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Todays' listening guidelines ...

Unemployment - 1 shot

Interest Rates - 1 shot moonshine

Reserve Currency - bong hit


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:25 | 4423745 prains
prains's picture

Stay the Course- all 3 at the same time

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:40 | 4424021 HamRove
HamRove's picture

Stay the Course- all 3 at the same time  = On the floor in less than 5 minutes

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:05 | 4423685 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

Fed policy is the problem


Strike "policy" and there's yer winner.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:07 | 4423694 ak_khanna
ak_khanna's picture

Federal Reserve of the Banks, by the Banks and for the Banks. 

The rest of the country and its citizens be damned. The main aim of the political class and the central bankers around the world is to create one bubble after another for the zombie bankers to feed on. The majority of the population who actually work hard to earn their living by engaging in productive work have to pay the price by either loosing a majority of their earnings in the form of taxes, interest on loans or paying the bill for the bailouts.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:10 | 4423703 Tinky
Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:41 | 4423802 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

go to Cspan for a direct feed

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:46 | 4423821 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

If she could just keep her head still she would look like the old cartoon "Clutch Cargo"

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:51 | 4423844 BandGap
BandGap's picture

and his pal, Spinner!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:16 | 4423712 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

All feckin' Kabukifein Theater. The Fed knows it could not continue buying all the feckin' bonds out there w/o completely losing credibility. In fact QE lasetd way longer than it should have. Now the Fed just buys the SP 500 futures to maintain control.

Bonds are the basis of any capital structure and thus infecting the US bonds with the Fed poison could only go so far without cardiac arrest. The motons at the Fed are now buying the Stalingrad and Poorsky 500 indices futures. Easier to do and doesn't screw up the repo markets.

Additionally, QE was really about taking all the balance sheet carnage off of the banks and to the Fed. That has to be pretty much completed at this stage ($4 trillion later).  Sooooo.... it's now all about keeping the "wealth effect" going with the equity markets.  

One small problem however.... rising yields on UST's without Fed intervention, Obama and his smirking pack of Alinsky jackals are being exposed for the absolute incompetents that they are. .... China vs Japan, Putin vs Europe (Ukraine)... and no US hegemony in sight.

Bang !  

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:16 | 4423716 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

And, these people really believe this shit..........scary

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:20 | 4423718 Bryan
Bryan's picture

bwahaha... Maxine Waters. 


So, is this a Q&A for Yellen, or an opportunity to pontificate and make politically expedient speeches to build your voter base?  lol

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:36 | 4423782 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Maxine Waters is a fucking retard!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:28 | 4423748 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

I am sick of her fucking voice already !!!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:30 | 4423755 Goldmans-fucker
Goldmans-fucker's picture

I think she's DYSLEXIC due to Dick Sucking

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:32 | 4423765 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

She sounds like a prime time cartoon character.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:49 | 4423767 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Who wrote this crap!?

So my wife (who gives a shit about economics) is at the kitchen breakfast bar with me and she comes over and looks over my shoulder to see what Yellen looks like and she says: "So they told them to choose the 'form of the DESTRUCTOR' and instead of the Stay Puff Marsh Mellow Man they chose Mother Goose?" LMFAO

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:04 | 4424094 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'm still convinced that she's really Summers in drag.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:36 | 4423789 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Why is my Grandma on TV?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:40 | 4423803 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Looks like we've got a blast-off going for the PM's right now.  What did that bitch say??? 

We're goin' vertical, bitchez!!!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:44 | 4423807 Calculus99
Calculus99's picture

Is she Forrest Gump's mother? She seems to be speaking slightly retarded.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:02 | 4423885 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture

That's her defence when everything hits the fan. "Didn't cha know?  I is fuckin retarded, so it ain't non of ma fault". 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:46 | 4423813 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

You can be independent with your fucking money asshole!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:46 | 4423814 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Maxine, Um, Um, Um, Uh, Uh, Um, Ah, Ooof

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:47 | 4423825 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Its Larry Summers in bad drag.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:46 | 4423824 Dimons jock
Dimons jock's picture

So does the market rally or not after she shuts her yaeeeeeep?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:47 | 4423828 Frank -THE COIN -
Frank -THE COIN -'s picture

I like the ' Riddler " outfit shes wearing.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:49 | 4423833 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Actually there are two subliminal Christian crucifixes on her dress -- one on each shoulder.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:50 | 4423831 Gohn Galt
Gohn Galt's picture

She's a better liar than the old Chairman.  Ben Bernanke was always stuttering or sweating or looking like he was going to bust out laughing...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:04 | 4423910 Darksky
Darksky's picture

She looks like she is using half her mental powers in an attempt to prevent herself from drooling all over the microphone.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:34 | 4424009 Dimons jock
Dimons jock's picture

I thought I was the only one who noticed that about Uncle Ben, LOL ....

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:49 | 4423832 Duude
Duude's picture

I find it hilarious Maxine Waters is the new ranking member of the democrat party. Note every question Maxine asks is scripted. Now, most do read from a script on their opening statements, but they know enough to ask questions without a script. Maxine can't do this.......or at least not well enough to stifle laughter.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:53 | 4423857 BandGap
BandGap's picture


Just like her boss, the Brown Clown.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:18 | 4424132 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture


That's going in the filing cabinet.  Well-done.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:51 | 4423842 Wicked Old People
Wicked Old People's picture

She lacks Bernankes' gulp gulp gulp of false humility. Here's what I hear: We own you. We are persuing a policy of full employment for all of our debt slaves. Our policy of binding everyone who labors to infinite debt has miles to go before we sleep.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:52 | 4423849 billsbest
billsbest's picture

How can we be sure Janet is, in fact, understanding, and definition - a FEMALE?

For that matter how do we even know Bernanke was a man as we were left to believe? I submit that since the Fed will not permit a congressional audit, that we demand a physical audit of its chairwoman. In the best interests of full disclosure and transparency, it must be known of what sex the chairperson is - transvestite, transgender, or man, woman, as claimed. Citizenship is just a curiousity.

SUGAR KEYNES: The Darkside of John Maynard Keynes, Architect of the US Federal Reserve, His Perversion & Pedophelia

Is Fed chairman-now incumbent Janet Yellen a bi-Keynesian, too?


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:55 | 4423859 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Is the aspect ratio fucked on my monitor?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:57 | 4423860 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

Time to schedule yet another trip to the coin shop.  I'm running out of fiat to convert.  But it's fairly obvious that the Fed has no clue how to exit this experiment.  Also, this "forward guidance" is complete bullshit.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 11:55 | 4423861 Hindenburg...Oh Man
Hindenburg...Oh Man's picture

wow, she's terrible at thinking on her feet. I wonder if the market isn't starting to correct down based on a certain unease in her competency based on the difficutly with which she answers the questions. 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:02 | 4423881 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Is she special needs? Is that a pre-requisite to head the fed?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:01 | 4423889 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Leadership, by Janet Yellen:

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:01 | 4423891 FreeNewEnergy
FreeNewEnergy's picture

Bear in mind, these are the people/drones/robots elected/appointed to rule/run/govern the country/world/universe.

Hedge accordingly... or, just kill yourself now.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:05 | 4423901 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

Whats wrong at ZH today?

Yellen has gotten top billing over bitcoin.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:04 | 4423907 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

She likes to go on and on and on......I learned a long time ago. The less you speak the better. ..... She is likely to let slip and trip up many times moving forward. ..... This is a very good thing

Yellen. Man of the Year.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:08 | 4423919 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture

Hh my God I can't take it - this bitch is congratulating Yelling for being the 1st woemn to head the Fed in 100 years.  Oh. Yes what an acivement! 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:11 | 4423924 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

That is apparently her prime qualification, because thinking on her feet sure aint

That would be in line with socialist agenda, equality over competence.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:09 | 4423923 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Jesus Christ the Womans Movement ? Fuck elect a socialist knucklehead because he is black and elect the Fed Chair and it's great because she's a woman?

how about qualifications and the coincidence shes a woman

Too bad shes not a Hispanic Woman. Fuck

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:12 | 4423928 dash8flyer
dash8flyer's picture

USD/JPY trending down small caps indecisive yet dow and SP up did we disconnect from the carry trade?


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:12 | 4423932 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

i feel confident

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:16 | 4423942 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

that we're fucked?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:09 | 4424112 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I refer to this as "optimistic pessimism."

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:16 | 4423941 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Elmira Fudd?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:20 | 4423950 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Awesome, Elmira Fudd, hahahahah

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:16 | 4423944 Bo Peep
Bo Peep's picture

Fucking sure one of those guys sat behind her is a ventriloquist, swear his hand is up her back

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:18 | 4423945 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

She is going to be GREAT!!!  If you are not in the stock market or gold (and not thhose fucking miners) you are a complete idiot.  This lady is going to print like there is no tomorrow.

Janet Yellen didn't know what a part time work week was.  LMAO


Edit:  And CNBC panned to LIESman when she stumbled over that question.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:25 | 4423977 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Silver miners doing well this week.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:42 | 4424026 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Miners have done fine since the beginning of the year, but over time they don't keep up with the metal.  Look how they've performed over the past 5 years compared to the metal.  I've looked at gold and metal is up 50% and the miners are down 50%.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:19 | 4423947 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Oh, fuck, she does not know what part time is?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:26 | 4423976 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Yeah, I'm PRETTY SURE you should know the answer to this question if you are fucking chairman of the federal reserve!!  WTF!!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:10 | 4424108 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

.... She knows, its OK to tell the truth part of the time.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:52 | 4424291 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Part time is the new full time.


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:20 | 4423952 Sufiy
Sufiy's picture

Gold Goes Vertical, Breaks $1,290 During Janet Yellen Testimony

 Gold goes vertical with short squeeze in action after the $1,270 level today. The highest print was $1,292 so far and the real game of music chairs will be started after $1,300 and tomorrows headlines. The big boys are loaded as well as flood of articles positive for Gold in WSJ, Reuters and Bloomberg can indicate. General public is still chasing the last Bubble in the general equites and GDX - ETF with Gold miners is breaking above 200 MA today. The real reason for the run are actual Chinese numbers from Koos Jansen report of 2,181 t of Gold consumed in China in 1213 and the coming shortage of physical Gold.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:30 | 4423958 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

This woman determines financial market conditions, but can't even define part time.


What. A. Fucking. Joke.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:19 | 4423959 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

There it is, Guidance ...

"we will consider a broad range of reasons for the decline in the job creation and a notable change in the outlook"

So, bad storms, or a huge decline in the market, spending, growth, or a significant whatever -

ANY of these will result in a rise in purchase of MBS and Treasuries.

So sayeth the Yellen, rapidly.  Seems she does read slowly.

Go   Gold

Shiny hair on Yellen this morning - Silver highlights ??  With the Christian cross on each shoulder - an artifact of the dress - very subtle attire to go with the large (black?) pearls.

Silver at $20.27 and headed north.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:21 | 4423964 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Well that was a trifecta of the woman's movement right there. This one barely speaks English !!!

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:24 | 4423966 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

Yellen's voice is like nails on a chalk board.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:29 | 4423986 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Seriously, how are we going to stand listening to it for the next decade?  She really looks and sounds like Captain Kangaroos wife.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:52 | 4424052 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

The next decade? LOL The only reason I can see putting this person in charge is because it is all coming to an end. First day on the job, in an outfit printing unheard amounts of money, and she says low interest rates are due to too much money being banked?I knew she would fuck up the works on day one.

Please.... I'm begging you... someone wake me up and get me out of this nightmare.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:59 | 4424074 akak
akak's picture

No shit!

US 'consumer' (fuck I hate that word) savings are at a record low, and this mophead bitch has the fucking NERVE to blame Fed-manipulated low interest rates on ...... excess savings?!!

Was there not even ONE honest and righteously indignant person in that room to punch her in her facial fartbox as she fully deserved?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:23 | 4423971 Bo Peep
Bo Peep's picture

Not sure who's worse Yellon or the committee


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:26 | 4423980 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

Did she give a shout out for Shirley Temple?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:26 | 4423981 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

She definitely gives good headache.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:28 | 4423982 Tinky
Tinky's picture

"interest rates are well below 2%..."


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:26 | 4423985 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

She just said it "Because we have  a weak economy...."

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:31 | 4423988 Conax
Conax's picture

I watched her for a while before I figured out where I heard that voice, that type of cadence/delivery before.  I have a niece that's a high functioning imbecile due to hyperthyroidism.

Sounds just like her.

Just sayin.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:51 | 4424058 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Diane Rehm - slow articulate delivery on NPR

Smart lady, good interviewer - sound-alike for Yellen

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 04:42 | 4427213 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

never attended college

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:30 | 4423991 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture


She says low interest rates are due to there being too much demand for savings????

...Then why the hell are we printing $75 bil a month? 

It does not compute, compute, compute........Entering auto shutdown mode...

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 13:11 | 4424120 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You should know better than to apply skepticism to sophistry. It hurts for a reason.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:34 | 4423995 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

"Plentiful savings rate" 

WTF, this woman is fucking clueless!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BWAAAAhhhaaaa......   I cannot stand it.  This would be funny if it were not so sad.


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 14:03 | 4424321 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

She doesn't understand that with the yield, comes the risk.

THANK YOU greenspunk, burnyankme and ol' yeller for forcing the old from hi-grade paying investments into hi-yield JUNK FUCKIN SHIT!

I have clients sitting in pools of $$$, not able or willing to invest in these fucking yields.

Let the markets heal themselves. Stay the fuck out of the manipulation!


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:34 | 4423996 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

When do they finally just say fuck it and break out in Yiddish?

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:34 | 4423997 Blano
Blano's picture

Well she's got the Captain Kangaroo part down, but I have another question:

I haven't watched Saturday Night Live in years, but doesn't she sound a bit like Androgynous Pat?


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:36 | 4424007 bubblemania
bubblemania's picture


Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:38 | 4424015 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Questions and Answers


1) Whats your favorite color? Ctrl-P

2) Who's your favorite to win american idol? Ctrl-P

3) What does the fox say? Ctrl-P


I think we need a recess.



Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:42 | 4424016 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

If you wanted to destroy a nation's economic engine, we are on the right path....


Edit:  And this is what they will do all the way down to the bottom: Monitor.



Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:36 | 4424017 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

who cares about this 'shit'....that football player is gay.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:38 | 4424022 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Can't wait to get to the Fed Hater round.   Wonder if "Yellen the felon" will break a sweat then.  

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:52 | 4424053 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Different asshole same show that's been on several years now.

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:50 | 4424054 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

she's got Betty Davis eyes............

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:56 | 4424067 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

o boy do i hope this bitch dies along with every fucking banker alive.


this fucking bitch is unbearable.


fuck u yellen u fucking cunt,  go fuck yourself 

Tue, 02/11/2014 - 12:56 | 4424070 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

but how do you really feel about her? LOL

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