Illinois Taps The Onion To Sell Obamacare

Tyler Durden's picture

While we realize that newsflow over the past few years has taken a decided turn for the surreal, we are sad (or, alternatively, delighted) to announce that we are dead serious when we report that Illinois governor Pat Quinn has now tapped The Onion - that would be the famous satiric website - to sell Obamacare. Perhaps we should not be surprised: after we previously revealed that The Onion served as the mystery source of economic insight by such intellectual economist titans as Paul Krugman and Larry Summers, the time may have come come to surrender to the great wave of absurdity that has washed over this nation, and admit that when it comes to pitching idiotic policies, self-referential satire may be the only option left in the arsenal of the central planners.

Acording to Crains Chicago, Gov. Pat Quinn is partnering with the Onion to persuade young invincibles” to sign up for health care insurance — before it's too late under Obamacare.

More on this surreal development from the source:

Beginning today, Onion Labs, the creative services division of Chicago-based Onion, will run banners ads on its website of a man forced to sell his action figures to pay his medical bills because he didn't buy health insurance, according to a statement today from Get Covered Illinois, the state's health insurance exchange.



So-called young invincibles, healthy people in their 20s and 30s, are crucial to balancing out the costly sick and elderly people buying plans on the Illinois health insurance exchange.


“We know that to effectively reach Young Invincibles — who are 53 percent of our uninsured residents in Illinois — we have to work with non-traditional, and especially digital, sources for news and entertainment," Jennifer Koehler, executive director of Get Covered Illinois, said in statement. "That's where the Onion fits right into our outreach strategy.”


The Onion also will create a video, an editorial and a customer “news” section about Get Covered Illinois that will appear online as the March 31 deadline to buy health insurance approaches.


“This is a great opportunity for Onion Labs to work with Get Covered Illinois, and do what the Onion does best — create irreverent-yet-relevant comedy and put it to work for an organization that wants to reach millennials,” Onion CEO Steve Hannah said in the statement.

Actually what the Onion does best is to capture the idiocy of people through the lens of stires. In this case, it has most certainly succeeded.

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fooshorter's picture


StacksOnStacks's picture

Doesn't he have to sell them anyways?  Without the insurance he would actually be able to keep more of them.

PR Guy's picture



Listen, when big projects like this go bad, they go really bad as we see here ;-)


Avoid if you don't like the odd swear word.

onewayticket2's picture

obamacare has electrolytes......HOAP

Troll Magnet's picture

The Onion is laughing all the way to the bank. 

WarriorClass's picture


May as well live up to the hype.


The Gooch's picture

non-kool-aid drinking flatlanders call Quinn "potatohead".

johnQpublic's picture

heres what kills me

they are actually telling the millenials, hey sign up so we can afford the old, because if you dont overpay to support them, they might have to foot their own bills


so tell me, are the millenials that frickkin stupid?

can they even afford to pay someone elses bill?

especially people who never planned for their future, but have arrived there none the less


i wonder, if they had known what was in it, would they have passed it?

pelosi should just fall over dead right the fuck now(of a pre existing stupid, forgot to breathe)

Stoploss's picture

If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason.


"healthy people in their 20s and 30s" = moving targets...  Better hurry Barry.

LMAOLORI's picture



If you are a white gun owner you are viewed as right wing even if you are a Libertarian keep that in mind.


Ohio National Guard Training Envisions Right-Wing Terrorism

Crash Overide's picture

The Onion should do a piece on this.

Dixie Rect's picture

Put this probe in your mouth, this one in your ear, and this one in your ass,,,no..wait, THIS one in your mouth......

Four chan's picture

has anyone seen the magic ads hucking obamacare, he doesnt even mention aids.

i think that should be his tag line "i beat aids, and so can you..with obama care".


El Oregonian's picture

Now the Onion??? It makes me want to CRY!!!

bigdumbnugly's picture

illinois taps the onion?




i love me some o dat obamacare...



Mercury's picture

Man without health insurance is forced to sell action figures to pay medical bills.


This is funny because no grown man should be forced to trade his doll collection for emergency medical care - right?

Here's another good one:

Area Man Introduces Pat Quinn's Head to His Ass

stacking12321's picture

you're what a child becomes when imagination and wonder are crushed out of him

Harbanger's picture

So it looks like the Onion also works for the establishment messaging system.  Not unlike the Daily Show which also uses the cover of Satire and comedy to deliver politcal disinformation.

john39's picture

the corporate fascist empire controls about 99.9% of all info on the planet at this point.   Even the total lunatic fringe sites, at least 2/3 are deliberate disinfo to discredit the real thing.  evil is afoot on this planet.

Harbanger's picture

It may well be corporate fascism which enables the leftist political disinformation on the MSM.  Make no mistake about it, it's political and it is leftist messaging.  Big corps benefit from their marriage to Big gov, I don't disagree.  But the political messsage is always the same, it's the same statist message of the gov is here to help you.

Groundhog Day's picture

A ponzi scheme is over when their are no new entrants to pay for the existing members

Meat Hammer's picture

Self-depricating satire is a wonderful personality trait of self-confident, yet humble and gregarious people.  

When you're a fuckwad statist, though, it just makes you look like more of a fuckwad. 

Motorhead's picture

Give me a break, bitchez!  (Oh, brother.)

ebworthen's picture

Satire imitating satire.

Yup, we've gone full retard.

Ignatius's picture

It's true.  Great satire reveals hidden, painful truths.

exi1ed0ne's picture

Past the reality event horizon

take left at mobius strip of lies

Ouroboros of credability will be on the left.

DOT's picture

Fuckin' sell-outs ! I remember those days sitting on top of railway cars off Williamson St. in Madison.

Fuckin' fuck sell-outs!


DOT's picture

Oh yeah,

Get Fucked you Fuckin' Fuck Sell-out Fucks!

Gene Parmesan's picture

.gov: Clueless as ever.

Harbanger's picture

Sinister as ever.  This article shows the mechanisms of thought control they have and use on unsuspecting folks.

Ignatius's picture

The fact that they have to sell it says everything you need to know.

Rising Sun's picture

Barrycare = huge fail


keep pushing the rope Barry - dumb ass communist

czarangelus's picture

So-called young invincibles, healthy people in their 20s and 30s, are crucial to balancing out the costly sick and elderly people buying plans on the Illinois health insurance exchange.

And yet Zero Hedge tells me there's no war on young people, and we're all just lazy stupid Obama voters who deserve what we get because we're the most entitled and socialist generation evah. *eye roll*

ebworthen's picture

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

As a tail end Baby Boomer who has been completely screwed over by the kleptoligarchy, you have my sympathy.

Skateboarder's picture

There's a lot more "it's your fault" age-battle coming where that came from.

TheReplacement's picture

Bring it.  Most invincibles are so afraid of bang sticks they will only ever get near one when it is pointed at them.

One And Only's picture

With $12,000 deductibles there is 0 reason for someone in their twenties to have insurance.

shovelhead's picture


Don't you ever play on the train tracks?

Make homemade pyrotechnical displays?

Walk through Detroit?

Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Um, no.

Todays kids with the i-everything gives 2-shits about going outside.

Unless the iBox blows up on them, alls well

ZeroPoint's picture

Oh but it's WORSE than that.12,000 deductible for the bronze package AND 200-250 a month premium. And they wonder why the kids aren't signing up.



Joebloinvestor's picture

Wait for the list that is exempt form coverage:

1. Any drug or alcohol related injury.

2. Any sports related injury.

3. Any motor vehicle related injury.

4. Any injury sustained in a domestic argument.

5. Any injury from a race related attack, unless the victim is black.


TheReplacement's picture

You forgot:

6.  Injuries suffered within a structure.

7.  Injuries suffered outside a structure.

8.  Injuries that happened in the dark.

9.  Injuries that happened in the daylight.

Jena's picture

Makes me wonder when .gov will hire a real ad agency to plug Obamacare.  

I realize they're trying to be relevent to the yutes and all but it doesn't seem to be working, mostly because what they're selling is such bullshit.

But hey, they could at least give it a decent try.

Blano's picture

Has the Onion gone over to the dark side?  Have we lost all hope?

NotApplicable's picture

"Onion jumps shark," says area man.

Yen Cross's picture

   The next thing you'll see, is Obunga Care marketed like those 'Direct T.V.' commercials.


 " If you don't get off your couch, you'll shit yourself."

  " When you shit yourself you get really mad."

  "When you get really mad your blood pressure rises."

  " High blood pressure will cause you to have a fucking stroke."

  " Get Obunga Care so you don't stroke out serf!"

Skateboarder's picture

Perfect parody Yen... I know those ads are supposed to be funny, but they make me cringe.

Next up will be online-college type of ads "I joined Obamacare, and now I'm a successful businessperson in action figure resale. You can join in your pajamas too!"