Surreal News Du Jour: Spain, Turkey To Jointly Build An Aircraft Carrier

Tyler Durden's picture


In what has to be the most surreal "news" of the past 24 hours, we learned that Spain, caught in the vice of an unprecedented historic depression, endless "recovery" propaganda notwithstanding, and Turkey, the country whose currency crashed to record lows against the dollar a few short days ago and whose government has been defending itself from a tsunami of corruption allegations and busy firing all the judges who dare to voice disagreement with PM Erdogan, have decided to jointly build ... wait for it ... an aircraft carrier.

According to Bloomberg, the proposed ship will be similar to Spain’s Juan Carlos I aircraft carrier, Turkish PM Recep Tayyip Erdogan says in Ankara during a news conference with Spanish counterpart Mariano Rajoy, in which Rajoy repeated that Spain remains a big supporter of Turkey joining the EU even if Germany has repeatedly (and will continue to) say "nein."

Erdogan added  that Spain’s Navantia and Turkey’s Sedef companies reached agreement on the project.

The PM also said that the ship will be built at Istanbul’s Tuzla dockyard, and will be a "strategic" asset for Turkey.

We can only assume that when it comes to epic, and epically idiotic, Keynesian boondoggles, Spain and Turkey have decided to take the torch from the US where two years ago we suggested that in order to "boost growth" the US should build an $852 quadrillion death star, an idea which subsequently got all the way to the petition stage and received a formal response from the US government.

However, before the whole demented project comes crashing and burning, we will read many articles about the thousands of jobs created and needed to build the carrier: something.

The only thing that was not clear is what the proposed name of the ship is. We propose: Distraction I.

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Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:30 | 4428431 glaucon was right
glaucon was right's picture

Housing bubble, debt bubble...

Aircraft buliding bubble?

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:33 | 4428447 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

"As Lord is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly!"

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:38 | 4428466 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



+1  The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement - L. Nessman

Link below:

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:40 | 4428506 max2205
max2205's picture

If you can get these low labor cost to actually do good work look out Eads Ba and GD

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:49 | 4428553 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Build Cost: 100 Million, + Bribes: 400 Million

Eqauls: Total Cost: $750 Million...

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:54 | 4428565 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Won't it be cheaper to build it in China????

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:56 | 4428588 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

It's a floating hotel for the rich, with it's own "security system" and airport.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:18 | 4428714 Doña K
Doña K's picture

They gonna need to build planes to put in them. More jobs coming.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:42 | 4428802 zaphod
zaphod's picture

My baby's bathtub tugboat looks more high-tech than that "aircraft carrier".

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:07 | 4428652 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

China has the Death Star.  Or maybe it's us. Forgot who's shovel ready shit goes with what.


Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:45 | 4428815 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Turkey? Did someone say Turkey? Yum. I'm hungry.

Is this the same Turkey that helps the Fruadulent UNITED STATES, CORP. INC help fund, train, & arm the same AL-CIA-duh terrorists via NATO, Sudia Aribia & Isreal the exact same terror organizations they claim to protect us from?

That Turkey?

Yes boys & girls there're all "in on it."

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:40 | 4428509 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Strategic assets? Aircraft carriers are worthless these days, even the US navy needs a fleet around there´s to protect them, and still doesn´t manage it. A single torpedo from an super silent U 212a and it´s "hasta la vista, carrier".

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:47 | 4428537 X_mloclaM
X_mloclaM's picture

What a blessing for Earth. What an accomplishment. What a momentous achievement for the men and women involved.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:11 | 4428682 Indian_Goldsmith
Indian_Goldsmith's picture

War is a stimulator of Animal Spirits led Enonomic Growth

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:48 | 4428541 agent default
agent default's picture

They are worse than worthless.  A modern anti ship missile has a good chance of sinking a carrier with a single hit. They are  a liability at every level.  Unless you only plan to take on enemies at the technological level of Iraq or Afghanistan, and hope nobody else gets involved.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:04 | 4428632 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

They have value as a forward air base that diplomats don't have to haggle over.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 19:30 | 4430218 thestarl
thestarl's picture

The Sunburn ASM at mach 4

Thu, 02/13/2014 - 06:48 | 4431600 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

yeah. the only problem is that the submarine must come at the right distance... you know.... radars...... sonars.......

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:37 | 4428482 nickels
nickels's picture

And the US can sell them the planes. This is great! The Egyptians used to build pyramids to keep people busy--

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:44 | 4428513 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

We got iPads to keep people busy. Egyptians built the great pyramid to harness the resulting energy from massive electrochemical reactions. There used to be a gold tip on the pyramid, y'know. ;)

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:14 | 4428700 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

and the rest covered in marble (any guess where that ended up *cough*vatican,etc*cough*)

+1 for nearly dead knowledge!

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:48 | 4428837 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

The great Pyramid of the highly Centrialized & Compartmentalized Ponzi Sceme will soon collapse.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:50 | 4428838 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

The great Pyramid of the highly Centrialized & Compartmentalized Ponzi Sceme will soon collapse.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:43 | 4428525 scrappy
scrappy's picture

Forget the distractions, listen to this with an open mind.

This is about US.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:31 | 4428435 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

When the people finally figure out that they must disposess those that would take them to war....

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:39 | 4428502 duo
duo's picture

gotta defend yourself against the Moors, you know.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:48 | 4428539 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Ah, you are aware then of The Crusade for Moorish Dignity?

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:34 | 4428785 duo
duo's picture

did that originate in Kenya?

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:31 | 4428437 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Debt is a measure of success. Case in point: 'Murica.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:31 | 4428438 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Gotta put the survivors on somethin' when they start the hot war

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:40 | 4428458 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

They are good for transporting large volumes of gold in one shot and if they get sunk the plebs can't come take the gold afterwards from the wreckage. Everyone is going to have the guns pointed at the usual suspect's aircraft carriers when things go south and it is time to move reserves around to settle debts. How do you move your gold without anyone knowing to pay off a debt? Use someone else's floating fortress...

The armed guards aka real owners of the gold or global police escort are underneath the surface where no one can see....

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:33 | 4428449 unrulian
unrulian's picture

As a kid I combined my baseball card collection with my best friends collection, he kept them for safe keeping at his house. I never saw them again.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:01 | 4428611 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

The OLDER you are, the MORE you wish you had kept those cards.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 14:24 | 4428732 unrulian
unrulian's picture

@BB; they were all 80s so not a huge loss...but a valuable lesson was gained

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 17:16 | 4429631 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

unrulian, is your best friend a banker now, or a politican?

Thu, 02/13/2014 - 10:48 | 4432048 unrulian
unrulian's picture

HAHAAHA damn, how could i have missed that? He works for Wells Fargo and is sliding up the ladder pretty fast

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:34 | 4428454 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

It makes perfect sense.  Build the aircraft carrier (and emply people to do it), declare war on the US, surrender, and get a MASSIVE bailout from the US.  Brilliant.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:34 | 4428472 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Read "The MOuse That Roared".

It was a Q Bomb.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:37 | 4428488 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Good call.  I know the tale, and that is precisely where I got the idea.



Wed, 02/12/2014 - 17:00 | 4429537 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture there's a movie that fits as well today as when it was made....and I am guessing, 35+ years ago??

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:34 | 4428455 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



The carrier is designed to sail under the bridge to nowhere.

Maybe the deal is that Turkey is going to build the ship, and Spain is going to build a giant crane to fish it off the floor of the Mediterranean.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 15:08 | 4428927 Matt
Matt's picture

Problem: warships are too expensive for broke countries to afford.

Solution: Timeshares!

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:35 | 4428456 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


The USS Keynes is on route

With missiles and planes prepped to shoot

We'll make you feel great

With the debt we create

While the wealth of your nation we loot

The Limerick King

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 16:09 | 4429219 29.5 hours
29.5 hours's picture



Great carrier work of subversive art.

Turkey needs that carrier -- in case of a disagreement with Angola probably. Angola has a carrier so Turkey needs one just in case.


Thu, 02/13/2014 - 06:59 | 4431604 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

that's funny!


i m opening bets on how much time they will need to sink it themselves

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 16:24 | 4429316 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

And it never runs out of fuel, it just sucks its way forward.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 21:17 | 4430570 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Luv them Phalanxes on the roof!

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:33 | 4428462 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Yeah that's just what the both of them at the moment need in this imploded economy of their own creation.

A "joint-aircraft carrier" they can share when they want to invade someone! Hey Turkey we just bombed Libya can we use it for our freedom and democracy endeavors in Syria -it's our turn?

Bet the the U.S. offers a down payment and a shipyard in Norfolk to help build it with all the other jobs this Country doesn't have anymore.

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:35 | 4428465 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Nationalism grows. You ain't got shit to eat, but that sure is a purdy aircraft carrier you gots thar.

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