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Surreal News Du Jour: Spain, Turkey To Jointly Build An Aircraft Carrier
In what has to be the most surreal "news" of the past 24 hours, we learned that Spain, caught in the vice of an unprecedented historic depression, endless "recovery" propaganda notwithstanding, and Turkey, the country whose currency crashed to record lows against the dollar a few short days ago and whose government has been defending itself from a tsunami of corruption allegations and busy firing all the judges who dare to voice disagreement with PM Erdogan, have decided to jointly build ... wait for it ... an aircraft carrier.
According to Bloomberg, the proposed ship will be similar to Spain’s Juan Carlos I aircraft carrier, Turkish PM Recep Tayyip Erdogan says in Ankara during a news conference with Spanish counterpart Mariano Rajoy, in which Rajoy repeated that Spain remains a big supporter of Turkey joining the EU even if Germany has repeatedly (and will continue to) say "nein."
Erdogan added that Spain’s Navantia and Turkey’s Sedef companies reached agreement on the project.
The PM also said that the ship will be built at Istanbul’s Tuzla dockyard, and will be a "strategic" asset for Turkey.
We can only assume that when it comes to epic, and epically idiotic, Keynesian boondoggles, Spain and Turkey have decided to take the torch from the US where two years ago we suggested that in order to "boost growth" the US should build an $852 quadrillion death star, an idea which subsequently got all the way to the petition stage and received a formal response from the US government.
However, before the whole demented project comes crashing and burning, we will read many articles about the thousands of jobs created and needed to build the carrier: something.
The only thing that was not clear is what the proposed name of the ship is. We propose: Distraction I.
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Housing bubble, debt bubble...
Aircraft buliding bubble?
"As Lord is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly!"
+1 The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement - L. Nessman
Link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg
If you can get these low labor cost to actually do good work look out Eads Ba and GD
Build Cost: 100 Million, + Bribes: 400 Million
Eqauls: Total Cost: $750 Million...
Won't it be cheaper to build it in China????
It's a floating hotel for the rich, with it's own "security system" and airport.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tofurkey
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turducken
They gonna need to build planes to put in them. More jobs coming.
My baby's bathtub tugboat looks more high-tech than that "aircraft carrier".
China has the Death Star. Or maybe it's us. Forgot who's shovel ready shit goes with what.
Turkey? Did someone say Turkey? Yum. I'm hungry.
Is this the same Turkey that helps the Fruadulent UNITED STATES, CORP. INC help fund, train, & arm the same AL-CIA-duh terrorists via NATO, Sudia Aribia & Isreal the exact same terror organizations they claim to protect us from?
That Turkey?
Yes boys & girls there're all "in on it."
Strategic assets? Aircraft carriers are worthless these days, even the US navy needs a fleet around there´s to protect them, and still doesn´t manage it. A single torpedo from an super silent U 212a and it´s "hasta la vista, carrier".
What a blessing for Earth. What an accomplishment. What a momentous achievement for the men and women involved.
War is a stimulator of Animal Spirits led Enonomic Growth
They are worse than worthless. A modern anti ship missile has a good chance of sinking a carrier with a single hit. They are a liability at every level. Unless you only plan to take on enemies at the technological level of Iraq or Afghanistan, and hope nobody else gets involved.
They have value as a forward air base that diplomats don't have to haggle over.
The Sunburn ASM at mach 4
yeah. the only problem is that the submarine must come at the right distance... you know.... radars...... sonars.......
And the US can sell them the planes. This is great! The Egyptians used to build pyramids to keep people busy--
We got iPads to keep people busy. Egyptians built the great pyramid to harness the resulting energy from massive electrochemical reactions. There used to be a gold tip on the pyramid, y'know. ;)
and the rest covered in marble (any guess where that ended up *cough*vatican,etc*cough*)
+1 for nearly dead knowledge!
The great Pyramid of the highly Centrialized & Compartmentalized Ponzi Sceme will soon collapse.
The great Pyramid of the highly Centrialized & Compartmentalized Ponzi Sceme will soon collapse.
Forget the distractions, listen to this with an open mind.
This is about US.
http://www.nationallibertyalliance.org/files/radio/14-1-24%20Awake%20and...
When the people finally figure out that they must disposess those that would take them to war....
gotta defend yourself against the Moors, you know.
Ah, you are aware then of The Crusade for Moorish Dignity?
did that originate in Kenya?
Debt is a measure of success. Case in point: 'Murica.
Gotta put the survivors on somethin' when they start the hot war
They are good for transporting large volumes of gold in one shot and if they get sunk the plebs can't come take the gold afterwards from the wreckage. Everyone is going to have the guns pointed at the usual suspect's aircraft carriers when things go south and it is time to move reserves around to settle debts. How do you move your gold without anyone knowing to pay off a debt? Use someone else's floating fortress...
The armed guards aka real owners of the gold or global police escort are underneath the surface where no one can see....
As a kid I combined my baseball card collection with my best friends collection, he kept them for safe keeping at his house. I never saw them again.
The OLDER you are, the MORE you wish you had kept those cards.
@BB; they were all 80s so not a huge loss...but a valuable lesson was gained
unrulian, is your best friend a banker now, or a politican?
HAHAAHA damn, how could i have missed that? He works for Wells Fargo and is sliding up the ladder pretty fast
It makes perfect sense. Build the aircraft carrier (and emply people to do it), declare war on the US, surrender, and get a MASSIVE bailout from the US. Brilliant.
Read "The MOuse That Roared".
It was a Q Bomb.
Good call. I know the tale, and that is precisely where I got the idea.
Iberian_Ottoman_FUBAR.
.......now there's a movie that fits as well today as when it was made....and I am guessing, 35+ years ago??
The carrier is designed to sail under the bridge to nowhere.
Maybe the deal is that Turkey is going to build the ship, and Spain is going to build a giant crane to fish it off the floor of the Mediterranean.
Problem: warships are too expensive for broke countries to afford.
Solution: Timeshares!
.
The USS Keynes is on route
With missiles and planes prepped to shoot
We'll make you feel great
With the debt we create
While the wealth of your nation we loot
The Limerick King
Great carrier work of subversive art.
Turkey needs that carrier -- in case of a disagreement with Angola probably. Angola has a carrier so Turkey needs one just in case.
that's funny!
i m opening bets on how much time they will need to sink it themselves
And it never runs out of fuel, it just sucks its way forward.
Luv them Phalanxes on the roof!
Yeah that's just what the both of them at the moment need in this imploded economy of their own creation.
A "joint-aircraft carrier" they can share when they want to invade someone! Hey Turkey we just bombed Libya can we use it for our freedom and democracy endeavors in Syria -it's our turn?
Bet the the U.S. offers a down payment and a shipyard in Norfolk to help build it with all the other jobs this Country doesn't have anymore.
Nationalism grows. You ain't got shit to eat, but that sure is a purdy aircraft carrier you gots thar.
...taking a page from North Korea's playbook....this is what happens when dumb psycopaths get in power.
The SS Stupid
I think they should call it EL Spurkey.
I think that we should build a huge bomb that can destroy the planet.
Then we can hold it in front of us like Brick during the newsman rumble scene from Anchorman.
I can see it now; trained turkeys holding hand gremades in their claws, flying off the deck of a wooden sailing ship. It'll be terrifying.
it's an escape pod.
Huh, an aircraft carrier time-share.
This has real potential.
yeah! I mean, what the h*ll are they gonna do - take turns driving it around?
no, Turkey builds and pays the ship and Spain provides (for a fee of course) the shipbuilding technology. The other hardware (radars, guns and so on will be imported elsewhere mostly from the US).
Besides, it is not an "aircraft carrier", it is more like an amphibious ship with a deck for aircraft.
Wow ! More National Onion news. Crazy seems too mild a category for that idea. They really are nuts, aren't they; these "leaders".
Maybe they are building it to sell for export cash.
Always the optimist.... pass the Skittles
Yeah, maybe this actually a new Chinese try-n-buy program.
They'll get a few countries to build aircraft carriers, test drive them, and buy the one they like best.
Who will be the Captain?
Jack Sparrow.
I sure as hell ain't taking the commission.
Remember that cruise ship captain that ran his ship onto a reef, a dozen people died, and he jumped on one of the first lifeboats to shore full of women and children? yea, him.
luckily for the crew the bastard you're speaking of is italian. and soon to be incarcerated ;)
El Grande Despilfarro 1
a three hour tour......
Great plan. Build a ship that can be taken out in minutes by a ship to ship missile, or in Turkey and Spain's case, a RPG with no ordnance, or possibly just an Estes rocket. Don't mind the starving people that these governments created. They surely support building this ridiculous weapon system.
Thanks for the mental image of an Estes rocket striking the side of the ship and causing it to sink. Laughed out loud at that. I picture them firing a bunch of anti-Estes rockets at the incoming rocket and not succeding.
Ahh, Estes rockets. I always wanted the SATURN V BITCHES!
Sadly, I had to buy kids instead.
Beats breaking windows, I suppose. Although a carrier has lots of windows. ;-)
Seriously though... So, this puppy is to be paid in what... Gold or more fiat debt, to keep up the demand for Euros and EU MIC contracts?
Is going to be the same success as that Joint Strike Feighter, they both do not fly.
How do you decide who drives? Total anarchy.
Hope the two never go to war against each other. If else they have to fight who gets to use that thing.....o..
....makes perfect sense to me.
So the Spanish are letting the Muslims back in eh? Wouldn't Charles the Hammer etc be amused! LOL!
I think they're planning to invade Malta.
Cypriots! To the ramparts, ho!
This is about southern Europe debtors vs. northern Europe creditors (Germany). No different than the prelude to WW2 except the players have changed. You can expect Greece to join the South any time.
Greece is with Russia. East not South.
The Spaniards are desperate to get contracts for their multinationals, even though they are starting to be thrown out from Latin America ( Panama fiasco, Repsol nationalized in Argentina).
This is non-news.
it's got to be for export...
I don't think Spain can afford to operate two carriers, obviously they can't share it, and if the Turkish navy takes possession the Russians will sink it as soon as it hits open water and quite possibly nuke Ankara for such insolence.
they should sell it to some land locked central African warlord, that would complete the supreme weirdness of this story.
Paging Mr. Mugabe, Mr. Robert Mugabe, please pick the red courtesy telephone...
is it too late for the Greeks to get in on this?
the Greeks are funding the deal with a couple points mark-up on their latest cheap bailout package from Germany
The Russians must be laughing themselves off all the way to be bank, since they have the best missiles systems.
The Russians aren't stupid and know that aircraft carriers are useless these days. That's why they don't invest in that shit anymore.
Aircraft carriers = outdated technology
They should have bought the USS Forrestal and refurbed it.
Is it just me and my failing eyes, or does that ship have a ramp on the end?
yes the ramps are used so you don't have to have catapaults. or at least get by with a lower grade catapault.
OTOH, if you have a harrier, you don't need ramps or cats. :)
Just up from a nice nap...
Let me check my calendar..
Nope, not April 1st..
(Thought I might have overslept.)
:-)
The Turks do make decent guns as of late.
I feel like someone slipped me a dose a couple years ago who's effect seems to intensify as time goes on.....
Crazy pills are one helluva drug...
Are they going to time share it?
Greece cannot be left behind and will need bailout money in order to build one of their own, jointly made with.....any bidders?
Outside the financial boondoggle of it all, why on earth would either nation want to build an aircraft carrier? In terms of naval power, what does either party hope to get out if it? They can never build enough of them to match the Great Powers, anything they build would be easily sunk by lesser powers, if need be. It just doesn't make any sense.
Makes sense to me. If Turkey is the settlement hub and Spain a major Iranian energy buyer together with the covert support of China/Russia, such a project is extremely important for the currency reset to come. In fact, as things are developing, I'm much more convienced that a controlled retirement of the USD is indeed been in the works for some time now. If you piece this into the grand picture, it makes alot of sense. Financing it would be no issue under the China/Russia umbrella. Looks like the Petroyuan / gold settlement is developing nicely.
if Turkey wants to stimulate their ship building industry, they should build some high speed Ferries or Catamarans to
move people across the black sea or some experimental Electrical/Solar ferries for crossing the bosporus.
Otherwise investing into 'productive' assets, wether thats transportation, high speed rail, better sewers/water treatment,
but what's Turkey need a carrier for?
distraction 3
Spain is not the idiot here, their shipyard will be building the carrier. Jobs, money... just what Spain needs. Turkey, on the other hand, is on the verge of an economic collapse. It may make strategic sense for them, but absolutely no sense financially.
In article it says it will be built in Istanbul.
long aircraft carriers!!!!
Battleships, all the rage in WWI, were becomming obsolete in WWII.
Aircraft carries, all the rage in WWII, will BE obsolete in WWIII.
There's just no way you can protect these monsters. Smaller and autonomous is the wave of the future. Fifty small ships carrying a few VTOL jets will be a lot more useful than a single carrier now that they have carrier killer missiles to sink these relics of the past.
Like breeding heavy horses for calvery charges.
Next defense project:
Bring back the chariot.
Hey, its the new trojan horse to recapture "Constantinople".
Don't give the game away. The west hopes that aircraft carrier enters Istanbul's harbour...
Someone needs to pill them aside and explain that carriers need a protective screening task force or battle group.
Of course, if this is all for show, what these PMs will get is a really big and incredibly ugly yacht.
The Turks could make the rudder and the steering wheel , the Spanish could probably manage a propeller , then all they need is the rest.
C'mon, people be reasonable. How else you expect them to move their aircrafts when they ran out of money to buy jet fuel.
The British did the same - two aircraft carriers that need amazingly expensive American aircraft.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Elizabeth-class_aircraft_carrier