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CNBC Talking Head Survival Guide

Tyler Durden's picture


Presented with no comment...



h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer


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Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:51 | 4437544 Island_Dweller
Island_Dweller's picture


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:55 | 4437556 Dear Infinity
Dear Infinity's picture

"S&P 500 below 25,000 is a buying opportunity, folks. Gold is a barbarous relic."

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:59 | 4437573 halfawake
halfawake's picture

Great add.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:58 | 4437577 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I got something you can send to your prompter..., send this!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:04 | 4437597 Payable on Death
Payable on Death's picture

Cramer will read anything you put on that teleprompter. "Go fuck yourself Bernanke."

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:11 | 4437620 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Mandy....."mine are real" ......may be the best truisms on CNBC I've heard......both of um

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:14 | 4437635 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Oh I would bang her brains out!!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:21 | 4437674 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Another one, Maria Fartiromo and Bob Pissani's


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:35 | 4437889 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Anti-Cramer: BYE!-BYE!-BYE!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:26 | 4438030 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

Reality Check...

DJIA is up 10,000 pts in 4 years and anyone who didn't make some money off that is an epic loser.

If you weren't fully invested and long during $4 trillion of QE, you shouldn't be allowed to invest money [PERIOD].

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:46 | 4438098 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

And how exactly has value price discovery worked for the last four years? In the last four years you can't have called it "investing". You can't even have called it "speculating". At best, (and I seriously doubt this), you could have called it "gambling". Except for the fact that the game is totally and completely rigged. When the game is rigged, and I mean any game, it sucks to be a counterparty.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:25 | 4438200 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Please, ban me for LIFE!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:12 | 4438494 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

Plus 10000,

ZH "deniers" aside.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:35 | 4438553 spine001
spine001's picture

What CNBC or their talking heads DON'T talk about.
1) Janet Yellen said that if economic conditions deteriorate (read market goes down), the FED will change course and stop tapering.
2) No debt ceiling for the USA for more than a year.

After these two elements are in place who in his sane mind would worry about a market crash in fiat dollar terms? It'd be crazy.

You all should only worry about a fiat dollar crash in terms of its value in income producing assets.

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 02:10 | 4438928 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture



I'm with this guy!


Sat, 02/15/2014 - 02:44 | 4438952 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

You are assuming that they want the market to keep going up.  Maybe they have a different plan.  Maybe that plan is to crash the market for one reason or another.  Since it is completely controlled & manipulated, money in the market is subject to the whims of those who do the manipulating.  Do you know for sure that they want it to only go up forever?

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 08:12 | 4439069 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Now der's sum telligence in day fer comment!

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 08:24 | 4439079 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

"Stock prices never drop."


...and if they do, we'll bail 'm out.

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 11:42 | 4439339 the6thBook
the6thBook's picture

Well, there is a chance that "untaper" would cause the realization that QE1, QE2, QE3, QE4?  all failed.  This could cause a loss in confidence that the Fed can rescue the economy stock market.

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 04:19 | 4439011 OH10DESERTER
OH10DESERTER's picture

you seem to have no clue what this site is about.

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 12:19 | 4439423 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

But when to bail out?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:13 | 4437625 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

The lady doth protest too much! On tapering, this tells be that:

Tapering IS tightening

Tapering fears are not overblown

Tapering matters and the Fed is doing additional manipulation beyond tapering

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 00:10 | 4438765 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

There she blows!

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 10:21 | 4439199 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Can´t believe "You can´t eat gold!" isn´t on that list.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:20 | 4437644 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture


I been cleaning after this dumb ass cracker Giggin for 10 years, but I been hittin' it wit his woman for 12... Kno what I'm sayin' ni**a!... She likes her some chocolate"... Sharpton 4 President yo ~ I'm outta here"...


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:47 | 4437925 optimator
optimator's picture

Cramer should buy CNBS with his "Charity Fund", sign up Liesman and get rid of the rest of the cast.  Now that's a comedy worth watching!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:00 | 4438138 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

Isn't there a version of bingo we can play with these?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:19 | 4437838 mendolover
mendolover's picture

But gold isn't backed by anything.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:26 | 4437855 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Sweet Jebus on a cracker, she was serious... 


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:08 | 4438165 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

When I'm PAID to be serious I'm serious, too.


Sat, 02/15/2014 - 07:55 | 4439056 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Worth it's weight in _____?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:00 | 4438305 bulldung
bulldung's picture

Hilarious, haven't laughed this hard in a while.Brainless.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:29 | 4438210 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

Hey guys, I know most of you are anti-govrnment anti-Fed gold hoarding right wing terrorist , so what do you think about this patriotic comment from this youtube video

  This Jim Willie Jackass thinks that American government and Fed's are dumb. I have news for you, the American government closed off their gold,silver and oil land for drilling and mining and call it the wildlife protection land in US. We are saving all that for the future when we used everyone's else.Then Fed's collected all that gold from all those countries way back when the Fed's issues bonds to all those countries worldwide who ship all their gold to Fed's when gold wasn't used as currency to print money anymore. Then Fed's print money to Americans Gov to build up their arm forces by doubling everyone military combine since WW2 to protect the Fed's Gold because they have the all the worlds gold in America. The Fed's have more gold then anybody can't imagine and still do. The Fed's have so much gold that no matter if the Chinese,India and Russia bought as much as they can every year, the Fed;s will still have 20 years and more of gold bars left over to sell them not counting the wildlife protection land that we are hiding all that gold,silver and oil in America. That why the United States will never crumb as number one power and the dollar will still be king for a long time. The United Sates Out smarted the Chinese and Russian in believing they could buy all the world gold and have no idea whats hiding in United States land and  Federal Gold reserve..
Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:30 | 4438212 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

My father worked with the defense dept as a GS13 (government service rank) He was the man that had to buy jet fuel for the Air Force in the Iraq Shield war when we had just practically bombed them everyday. I asked my father, who's retired now, that everytime something happens that deals with America, you disappear for days to a week before it hit the news. He said "Son, my job is to get jet fuel bought from big oil companies and get them to a area nearest to effected area we are attacking so our jet and bombers will refuel up or we will be dead in the waters without it" He also told me that the gov. is hiding 2-3 hundreds years of oil in America and had not to used it until the world started to run out. Hopefully, years down the road, 2nd and 3rd world countries nations will start running out of oil and the USA will probably be off most of the oil supplies by then. Now the United States will start to drill and the world has to depend on us for hundred's of years in 2nd and 3rd world countries. The United States thinks ahead and a lot of people think we are dumb but actually, we very smart. It makes sense! We use everyone else's oil and then use our last to keep the power of United States. Like squirrels! Don't you think we are doing the same thing with gold? I do!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:30 | 4438214 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

No, but I know Bix Wier, it was my father worked with the defense dept as a GS13 (government service rank) He was the man that had to buy jet fuel for the Air Force in the Iraq Shield war when we had just practically bombed them everyday. I asked my father, who's retired now, that everytime something happens that deals with America, you disappear for days to a week before it hit the news. He said "Son, my job is to get jet fuel bought from big oil companies and get them to a area nearest to effected area we are attacking so our jet and bombers will refuel up or we will be dead in the waters without it" He also told me that the gov. is hiding 2-3 hundreds years of oil in America and had not to used it until the world started to run out. Hopefully, years down the road, 2nd and 3rd world countries nations will start running out of oil and the USA will probably be off most of the oil supplies by then. Now the United States will start to drill and the world has to depend on us for hundred's of years in 2nd and 3rd world countries. The United States thinks ahead and a lot of people think we are dumb but actually, we very smart. It makes sense! We use everyone else's oil and then use our last to keep the power of United States. Like squirrels! Don't you think we are doing the same thing with gold? I do!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:29 | 4438215 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

I love your show and I thinks it's awesome that you understand where I am coming from and acknowledge the importance of my father who had worked for the Defense Dept. in the US Airforce. I wish I could tell you more, but don't worry about the USA. We can handle ourselves haha. They don't worry about the present as they already know what to do. The USA is ready for anything all the way to the future.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:37 | 4438230 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

time for your meds, maybe double up this time

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:40 | 4438236 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

let me clarify, I'm not the one who wrote this patriotic comment

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:40 | 4438242 akak
akak's picture

Muffins and napalm!  Pour more on!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:43 | 4438249 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Akak what's the deal man, does this move in gold have legs or is this another false start? Whaddaya think?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:46 | 4438260 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

I think you should trust Goldman Sachs, it's going down to $1000 so you should sell all your worthless metals

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:53 | 4438289 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I trust Akak, fuck off.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:01 | 4438314 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

Akak is a well known anti-govrnment anti-Fed gold hoarding right wing terrorist, you should be careful with your unpatriotic actions

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:54 | 4438616 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 23:03 | 4438642 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Akak is a well known anti-govrnment anti-Fed gold hoarding right wing terrorist, you should be careful with your unpatriotic actions

You should ask for a refund on your ESL classes. I don't think you'd have a problem getting it.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:48 | 4438266 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

just startin' fonz............momos will start movin' in which will bring in the boyz for a shakeout but buy the shakeout and ride it ........its going to be one hell of a move this year

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:52 | 4438284 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I am very interested to see what happens man. 

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:13 | 4438504 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

it will be interesting im sure, but don't go getting your hopes up guys. i say this as i am a litle hopeful, since early this week was literally the first time i have made a big (for me) purchase, as opposed to my small but constant-every-payday purchases, and not watched them get slammed down the next day. We will see. Personally, i dont really want them shooting to the moon just yet. at 29, I am buying this for my retirement/leave to my kids, so I really like being able to accumulate at these levels

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 02:24 | 4438940 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

I wish I could, but I didn't set aside enough to pay off Uncle Scam.  All of my cash flow is going  into savings, at least for the next two months.  "Fuck you, pay me," was originaged by Uncle Scan, regardless of what they say in Goodfellas.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:55 | 4438288 akak
akak's picture

Fonz, I wish I could give you a sensible answer to that question.  I honestly just don't know.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:00 | 4438311 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

yeah man...I appreciate the honesty. I don't know if people understand how random this little commodity pop up is in the face of what is going on. It makes zero sense. So either it hangs around for a little and we are back to square one...or there is a small chance this has real meaning.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:17 | 4438368 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

They see when those playing arbitrage are squeezable. Too many bets on the sames hedges. That is all. Will revert to normal after the squeeze. 

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:24 | 4438384 creeko
creeko's picture

or maybe silver goes to $25, and gold to $1450... and it just stays there for another year. 

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:05 | 4438470 Toronto Kid
Toronto Kid's picture

I think this one has real meaning; too many newspaper articles are popping up about bank account confiscation. With Greece rolling over and playing dead after their confiscation (less than a year later and the riots have stopped?), the bigwigs appear to be mulling over the possibility of confiscation in other countries in Europe. First they have to soften up the masses to the idea of confiscation, hence the publication of confiscation-themed newspaper stories.

Now the US government is introducing 'we'll invest your money for you' investment schemes for the masses? It is another bad sign.

Then I went shopping for my mother's birthday and everything's price has gone up 10 to 20 percent from last year. But hey, inflation is below 5 percent according to my local government.

I'll be buying more insurance, and doing my best to keep the purchase off of the radar. Can't do too much purchasing, too much of anything just leads to trouble nowadays.

Survival, that is the theme. In the meanwhile I took a trip abroad and lived a little; can't forget to live in these times of trials.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:08 | 4438345 RSloane
RSloane's picture

That was the most sensible answer possible, Akak.  +1

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:00 | 4438321 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Not to encourage the voices, but some agree with you.


(I'm confused)

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:54 | 4438285 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Wow.  Just, wow.


I hope you don't mind but I'm going to copy/save this part,


"The USA is ready for anything all the way to the future."


..and bust it out when I'm in need of a hardy chuckle.



Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:58 | 4438298 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

You're welcome. I believe that too! As long as Obama(or the next president) orders Abe to take over that shitty island and those gold hoarding retarded Chinese attacks, then we'll drop nukes all over China and USA will be on top of the world AGAAIN!!!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:35 | 4438379 kevinduhand
kevinduhand's picture

By the way, Obama needs to fire this idiotic general Herbert Carlisle, how dare he doubt the beloved leaders of our great allies Nippon and Philippines?

He should remember Abe and Aquino are the good guys and CHINA IS EVIL!

we need to fire this clown as soon possible to continue our "pivot to asia", we need WAR not peece!!!

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 06:49 | 4439022 Brit_Abroad
Brit_Abroad's picture


You keep forgetting the sarc/irony tab

Right ???

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:04 | 4438323 SilverIsMoney
SilverIsMoney's picture

It clear that's the new propaganda being spewed by the NSA on the web...



Sure yyaaa do lol....

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 00:55 | 4438858 knowshitsurelock
knowshitsurelock's picture

The funny part, is he still thinks there's countries and governments.  Sure keeps the focus off of the globalists.  Good trolling though.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:39 | 4438238 akak
akak's picture

Hey, if you're going to have a conversation here with the voices in your head, at least make it a sensible one.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:55 | 4438287 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture



The VOICE in his head is that of Jim Jackass Willie

Who is a complete and thorough Wacko Nut job.

What else did you expect?


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:58 | 4438624 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


Witness the paid agents as they wend and weave through this thread, trying to hijack it.

Tel Aviv, Haifa, Alexandria, or any other of the paid military hackers' cabal locations are now seeing and working a Beta test here.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:10 | 4438481 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

There's a real simple solution, you know...

Just don't watch their bullshit!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:46 | 4438100 Jannn
Jannn's picture

Guest Post: Thoughts Behind PBOC Gold Purchase Policy

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:48 | 4438599 Freddie
Freddie's picture

TV and Hollywood is for ***king retards who support the regime.  Keep up the good work dumb AH's.  Americans traded Liberty for a clicker and HD.   Your viewership ensures your serfdom.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:54 | 4437546 Truther
Truther's picture


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:13 | 4437630 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

All of em..

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:34 | 4437879 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

I don't get articles like this.  Why not turn off the TV?  Doesn't that inflict maximum harm on them?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:38 | 4438240 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

Need to add "Frozenomics" scrolling across the bottom of screen to explain all the shite numbers...they just came up with that one

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:51 | 4438607 Freddie
Freddie's picture

+1 million

The dumbasses who watch TV keep these fascists in business. Dopes.


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:54 | 4437548 sudzee
sudzee's picture

No comment.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:55 | 4437551 Stroke
Stroke's picture

Sounds like Cramer wrote the script

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:33 | 4437707 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

I still can't believe a guy like Cramer has a TV show, then again it is CNBC...

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:29 | 4437861 Keyser
Keyser's picture

No one has that much energy unless they do coke by the ounce or have a cattle prod jammed up the arse. With Crammer I vote for the later... 


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:57 | 4437950 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Why not both?  I think he's probably built up a tolerance to the coke and needs even more stimulation. 

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:40 | 4438248 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

someday he will be removed from the gene pool by someone that loses their ass on one of his retarded, overvalued momo picks

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:53 | 4437552 headhunt
headhunt's picture

Is there one called; 'Helpful Suggestions for Nervous or Uncomfortable Presidents'?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:54 | 4437557 Woodhippie
Woodhippie's picture

Is this real??  If it is, well ... fuck me runnin'.  Can't ANYONE just talk without a teleprompter?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:54 | 4437558 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Nailgun backup is up and running.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:57 | 4437559 youngman
youngman's picture

That is not Santellis screen...

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:20 | 4437658 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

True that. Thank GOD he has the balls to call it the way it is unlike the other bulltard-phoric assholes they put on there.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:45 | 4438257 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

All joking aside, seriously guys come on. Just take a look at this, and you will see that CNBC is a world class organization that does it's due diligence.


I present to you - Jeff Macke

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:02 | 4437560 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

How bad must it mess with your mind to be staring into the camera with the knowledge that this is all being recorded, and there is your script pre-written for you?  Man they're not paying me enough.....  oh wait, they most certainly are.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:55 | 4437561 Frank -THE COIN -
Frank -THE COIN -'s picture

" Look Deep Into My Eyes...You are starting to feel.."

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:57 | 4437564 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

The 'Channeling' dweeb told me that what I needed to do was to BUY LOW & SELL HIGH [the same stock over & over]... I think he's in BTC's now...

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:55 | 4437565 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

The list seems to be missing one. "Gold? You a fuckin barbarian or something?"

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:56 | 4437571 AL_SWEARENGEN

"CNBC really stands for Cocksuckerz Nobody Blows except Cramer."

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:58 | 4437581 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

CNBC can go fuck itself

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 16:59 | 4437585 Pasadena Phil
Pasadena Phil's picture

They just had Islamic-terrorist-harboring Grover Norquist arguing the "conservative" side of why the debt ceiling had to be raised. The next segment featured Al Franken. CNBC is about as serious a news source as its sister MSNBC and soon-to-be new cartoon channel CNN.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:55 | 4438622 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Norquist is a RINO, Islamo piece of shit and friend of Karl Rove and the Bushes.


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:02 | 4437587 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   The "super duper" bad weather, was to blame...

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:02 | 4437594 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

This is a fake! In the real box the right button is "Send to Prompter" too.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:04 | 4437595 Babaloo
Babaloo's picture

And yet, and yet, and as much as it pains me to say it, if one had followed their "advice," one would have made a lot of money.  Far more money that one would have made being contrarian.

So post all you want Tyler, and skepticism is a good thing, but not admitting their call is correct is intentionally overlooking the obvious.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:07 | 4437609 adr
adr's picture

Saying the shark in the water isn't going to bite you is the right call until it takes your leg off.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:24 | 4437675 Seeking Aphids
Seeking Aphids's picture

You are right B. It is true that anyone following their call would have made a lot of money...but they did so on the back of the people of this country and at the cost of long term growth. So what? Fuck the people and fuck long term growth. Right. That is the problem. Short term thinking will kill the US. China thinks in terms of decades and centuries. I don't agree with their system or the corruption but at least they think long term. So be right in the short term...good on ya. I wish I had done the same. But I am a short term thinker too....kind of goes with the territory......we are all fucked.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:18 | 4438185 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

China's leaders can afford to think longterm. They know that their downline will be running the country for decades if not forever.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:34 | 4438066 forwardho
forwardho's picture

It is true that all they said has come true.

Its the reason it came true that freaks me out for lack of a better description.

TARP, Stimulas, QE 1-4 all extra constitutional measures (illegal)

Thus, its all a fantasy backed by lies and illegal measures. Worse still is the fact that it can all end on a moments notice, and you won't be notified till after you have been fleeced.

I got out at TARP, yes I have missed the big run up, but have slept in peace, knowing my assets are under my direct control, and cannot be monetized.


Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:14 | 4438176 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

"And yet, and yet, and as much as it pains me to say it, if one had followed their "advice," one would have made a lot of money.  Far more money that one would have made being contrarian."


Part of the problem with that thinking is that IF We had ALL followed that advice they would have undoubtedly done something different or changed the plan or re-staked the deck.

The other part of the the problem with that thinking is that not everyone had much/any money left after being ripped off in their fucking swindle of the century to go long in 2009 in the first place.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:31 | 4438223 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

You know that this system in which you gamble is corrupt, right?

And you also realize that their corruption would be absolutely meaningless without your participation, right?

You are directly participating in corruption that will  participate our economic collapse.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:03 | 4437603 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Is CNBC still a functioning business entity?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:43 | 4437732 TacticalZen
TacticalZen's picture

Define "functioning".  Define "entity".  Play with meanings enough and it all becomes nonsensical.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:16 | 4437648 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Where's "We're well off the lows." ??

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:18 | 4437660 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

How many people watch CNBC today?  nuff said!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:19 | 4437663 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

And that, ladies and gentelmen, is exactly why their viewership is dropping like a lead zeppelin.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:21 | 4437671 BaggerDon
BaggerDon's picture

what are u buying? are u putting some money to work?  are you getting diversified?  what are u buying?  

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:22 | 4437676 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

I went nail gun shopping today just in case the Committee of Public Safety (Comité de salut public), comes back in fashion. Nothing like combining the old with the new. After all the guillotine was a new invention back then. Found this great Paslode that has fuel cartridges instead of compressed air.


Takes up to 3 1/4" framing nails, fires 2-3 nails per second, 48 nail magazine. No registration or background check required. I think you can open carry or conceal carry without issue.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:38 | 4438078 tyrone
tyrone's picture

those cartridge nails are all manufactured with serial numbers inscribed.. the cartridge wrapper has the starting serial number recorded in the barcode.. that is captured by the cash register scanner and goes into the computer database.. good luck when the cops come ring your doorbell

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:57 | 4438129 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

If I pay in cash, so what?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:11 | 4438355 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Just don't sign in with your membership card to get the discount!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:58 | 4438310 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

..Yeah I've got a couple, you CAN disable the safety on those on!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:57 | 4438634 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Are you suffering from depression or a banker perhaps?  Only banksters own nail guns.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:26 | 4437681 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Heard today:  "There is a lot of upside momentum in these markets."

Goebbels is burning with jealousy in Hell over the modern MSM.

Networks are complicit in the legerdemain and skullduggery.

This was all performed and pumped right up to 2008 too.

Spreading generational lies is a hanging offense.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:43 | 4437907 optimator
optimator's picture

No, he'd be saying, "told ya so, we had banker probems when we took over".

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:29 | 4437694 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Is this a joke or not? I literally don't know.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:37 | 4437722 dcohen
dcohen's picture

It is supposed to be a joke, but I will tell you with great certainty that the joke is very very likely a reality, whether the prompt looks like that or not, the end result of the bullshit coming out from their mouths is very much identical.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:51 | 4438267 gonetogalt
gonetogalt's picture

I think you missed the 'CNBS' at the top of the screen...He,He...

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:29 | 4437695 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Anyone that chooses to buy in to the market now while sitting out since the 2008 bust is just asking to get fucked.  In fact deserves to lose his ass.  Let's see stocks are attractive now because they are at historic highs?  What kind of logic is this?  The little guy is afraid of being left behind?  McFly, the little guy that has not been in HAS been left behind and is better off waiting as there is always going to be a better entry point.  The market has never just gone straight to infinity to date so not sure why that would be the thinking now.  Though it would be nice for the pumpers to get to be the dumpers on to the unsuspecting.   Wash, Rinse, Repeat I believe.  IT must be frustrating to the CNBC and Wash guys that they can get to the Rinse cycle so they can Repeat again.  

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:42 | 4437714 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Problem is that the Central Banks will do everything in their power to avoid a repeat (not because they care about the people, because they want to protect themselves / the bankers, scammers, so that they can get rich on broken people's broken backs, and then send them to the war they are preparing against China, Russia and Iran. If they die, the better, if they come back, they will die anyway from suicide or whatnot, and there will be another batch of idiots to screw)

So the Central Bankers will this time, keep it going for maybe 50 years or even more. The will act Sooner, they will act Faster, they will do More, print More, talk shit more, screw us more you think that if they see a meltdown of their own assets that they will let it go? no why should they? they already own everything, there isn't anything they need to buy back cheaper, they only need the FED to print them more stuff to keep their liquidity "sloshing at the sidelines".

I am telling you, there is only one remedy for this, all the bankers and their enablers hanging from the lightpoles.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:37 | 4438073 MrButtoMcFarty
MrButtoMcFarty's picture

K Street Must Burn.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:31 | 4437703 dcohen
dcohen's picture

I don't get it, why doesn't the FED print money for all the people in the world, that way no one has to work and we can all buy stuff, as much as we want, go on vacation, travel, have fun, without working a single hour.

I don't get it, why can't the FED do that? That would be so much fun.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:46 | 4438258 Lokking4AnEdge
Lokking4AnEdge's picture

Why keep income tax when you can just print money instead???......any explanation?........

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 07:14 | 4439035 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Laws of geometry.  You can not have a two-man circle jerk.  There must be a chain.  Of course my response here is purely theoretical.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:34 | 4437711 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

All the shorts will have lost there shorts by the time this Market turns.


Yellen aint smelling and this market is excelling!!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:45 | 4437738 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

You can make a nail gun fully automatic very easily.With the purple loads,It can be a real bad day for zombies

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:52 | 4437753 My Days Are Get...
My Days Are Getting Fewer's picture

Everyone of those reasons must be true.


I have been hearing them for 50 years.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 17:56 | 4437770 Amagnonx
Amagnonx's picture

I just wish I had some cash to BTFATH - unfortunately its all at the bottom of a lake or lost in cyberspace - damn shame ..

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:10 | 4437810 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Looks like somebody done gone and hacked obama's teleprompter and stole his fuckin scripts. Whoever you are you're in big trubble boy!

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:40 | 4437899 jmp esp
jmp esp's picture

Awful UI.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 18:53 | 4437940 steelrules
steelrules's picture

I think I heard Kernen say every word of that in under 5 min. this morning.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:04 | 4437974 lieto
lieto's picture

Thanks for sharing that CNBC clip on gold again.

ROFLMAO! again.

I had forgotten about that bimbo's, "thoughts".

It's a lock that she didn't get on TV because of her brains!

Yup the Dollar is safe, the gubmint says so.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:23 | 4438027 devo
devo's picture

Haha. So true.

Forgot Jim Cramer's "buy buy buy"

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:25 | 4438029 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

But it will be one hell of a "beautiful skydive" without that parachute at 20,000 feet when you touch the ground -won't it?

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:33 | 4438058 More_sellers_th...
More_sellers_than_buyers's picture

Please for the loveof everything that is holy. Tell methis is a joke.  I used to trade on the floor and they would always ask me to go "on camera" and talk.  I never wanted to. I always thought in my head, why the hell would someone give a rats ass what I think.  I consider myself rather well read, and I always had an opinion for a friend... but I don't want to give advice to people that don't know me... Scum rises to the top.. people that don't know shit crave attention.  Speaking of which, why the holy fuck does bill gross tweet?


Sat, 02/15/2014 - 10:52 | 4438557 deflator
deflator's picture

 Speaking of which, why the holy fuck does bill gross tweet?

 I bet that tight ass bastard has never picked up a check in his life.

 Not funny eh, oh well. Everytime i see or hear tweet it reminds me of a waitress with a speech impediment. When she asked if we wanted seperate checks, I told her to put it all on one check. She asked, "are you tweating?"

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:43 | 4438091 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

I stopped watching when they made that blond with the monster knockers dress more conservatively...  I never DID have the sound on...

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:14 | 4438500 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

You speak of Mandy "Monster Tits" Drury....the Aussie lass with the prodigious baps.

She tied the puppies up as Bill Griffith - the gentile douchy twink was getting steamed over her tit-camera time over his whiny segments.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 19:46 | 4438101 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Got to get those animal spirits going, Got to get those animal spirits going, Got to get those animal spirits going.....

Perception is evertything,

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:02 | 4438143 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Becky Quick does not blow Warren buffet. However Sorkin does

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:19 | 4438184 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

who the fuck is cnbs...that's what the screen shot says

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:29 | 4438216 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:33 | 4438221 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

tried to cut and paste the shot, but the site will not allow me access.....CNBS ????????

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:37 | 4438419 jim249
jim249's picture

Right click, click on save image. Just did it, works fine.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 20:50 | 4438265 AMGdesignnl
AMGdesignnl's picture

Anyone here who takes Americans serious ? <);o) 

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 21:19 | 4438376 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

We only worship worldly continentals here. Netherlanderthals are our favorites...serious(ly).

Sat, 02/15/2014 - 00:24 | 4438794 joego1
joego1's picture

I take American indians seriously.

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 22:18 | 4438512 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

It would be illuminating to see tapes of these same motherfuckers drone on and on circa 2006-2007-2008 pre Lehman......BECAUSE THEY SAID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THINGS!!!!!!


anyone got tapes of this ....Tylers????

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