Obamacare Version 2.0 For Dummies

Tyler Durden's picture

Not quite what you thought it would be? Have no fear. The following will make it all clear...


Source: Investors.com


And as we previously noted, this chart should help clear up any final confusion...

And if it doesn't, here is an additional explanation

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NoDebt's picture

And that, ladies and gents, is how you "fix" healthcare.  Kinda like "fixing" LIBOR or "fixing" gold. 

Yeah, they really fixed the shit out of it this time.  Just not for you or anyone you know.

Crisismode's picture



The "Fix" is in.

And you are the one getting "fixed"

There, there now, this won't hurt a bit, and once it's over,

well . . . you'll be as good as new.



Soul Glow's picture

It's all fixed.  Fixed just like a dog.

SoberOne's picture

Dont look at me! I voted for Kodos.

Richard Chesler's picture

Anyone dare come up with a more corrupt scheme?


JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Lets have the health insurance and pharmaceutical industries write the law.


Oh wait...

The Vineyard's picture

I believe in single-payer.  I want the government to pay for my dentures.  I deserve it.  Cheap bastards.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Easy is to make hilarious piece of Obamacare. Just mention word "Obamacare" and slightly aware citizenry of world is instant laugh at USSA, duplicating socialist disaster experiment already fail in rest of world. How is can be so stupid? Now, this, this is hilarity!

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

The future is green job. Okay, so maybe some people is have job of feed other people.

Soul Glow's picture

I don't vote, not with an electoral college and DIEBOLD fucking everything up for me.

One World Mafia's picture

Write it in even if there is a button next to the name.  At worst it's a protest vote of the voting system.  If it catches on it will make a difference in at least a few places changing their voting systems.

I had to down you, not for your criticism of the system but for giving in.  The media just chalk up low turnout to apathy.

tip e. canoe's picture

+1 for a write-in campaign to stick a fork in the machine.

if low voter turnout = an effective method for positive change in a democratic system, then Haiti would be the model society.  here's their current president, elected with a ~23% voter turnout:

Sweet Micky en Action - Drag Dancing

Jumbotron's picture

I had to down vote you if you're still dreaming that your vote matters.

Insanity is simply doing the same stupid thing over and over expecting a different result.


tip e. canoe's picture

it's not the vote that counts but how long it takes to count it.

toady's picture

Seems pretty simple to me.

jeff montanye's picture

on the bright side this fubar will discredit tptb fairly thoroughly and, probably, kill fewer people than the vietnam or iraq or afghanistan/pakistan/yemen/libya/syria/... wars.

rubiconsolutions's picture

So, if I take the 405 and get off at Santa Monica Blvd.....

Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Fix, fux ... it's what the government is there for.

666's picture

"And that, ladies and gents, is how you "fix" healthcare."

It must be fixed because the 535 rocket scientists lounging on the shores of the Potomac have the best healthcare system taxpayer's money can buy.

Offthebeach's picture

Stalin could do it. Pajama Obama? Not so much.


A Lunatic's picture

My understanding of it is a bit more simplistic; Fuck Obamacare........

lakecity55's picture

Fuck Bath House Barry.

Wait, I am not sure that came out right.

OK, Fuck Backdoor Barry and the Dick he rode in on!

Soul Glow's picture

Yeah, Dick Cheney is laughing all the way to the bank.

Clowns on Acid's picture

you fuckin' bitter and twisted douch bag

anefarious1's picture

But your big fat penalty is going to stay the same, big and fat. Mine is over $1,000 and you'll probably owe some dough to Obama's insurance companies for being bad as well. Calculate your Obamacare fine here:


john39's picture

It will be interesting to see how the penalty works. As I read the law, the irs cannot garnish wages or bank accounts to cover the penalty. If correct, just avoid loaning Uncle Sam any money which would have to be refunded... As the irs may currently be limited to seizing refunds.

NoDebt's picture

That's correct, John.  Currently they can not FORCE you to pay.  They can only recoup the penalty/tax from your refund, if any is due to you.  However, it rolls year to year so if you are EVER due a refund, they can take it no matter how long it's been.

That will, of course, change at some point and the recovery methods will become unavoidable as Obamacare fails in earnest and money is simply TAKEN from wherever they choose to take it.

nmewn's picture

Well clearly, this calls for an online account of some description, to make transactions easier for da Fadderland! ;-)

jeff montanye's picture

remember when they seized the gold in '33 no one was "forced" to turn in the gold but many many did.  these penalties will sap what pathetic little strength is left in the economy.  obama is a genius.

TeamDepends's picture

"obama is a genius".  Please!  All Barry has done is play choom-golf, campaign, and read the teleprompter.

Dr. Everett V. Scott's picture

How to create a social state by Saul Alinsky 

There are 8 levels of control that must be obtained before 0bama is able to create a social state. 

The first is the most important. 

1)    Healthcare - Control healthcare and you control the people 

2)    Poverty – Increase the Poverty level as high as possible, poor people are easier to control and will not fight back if you are providing everything for them to live. 

3)    Debt – Increase the debt to an unsustainable level. That way you are able to increase taxes, and this will produce more poverty. 

4)    Gun Control - Remove the ability to defend themselves from the Government. That way you are able to create a police state. 

5)    Welfare - Take control of every aspect of their lives (Food, Housing, and Income) 

6)    Education - Take control of what people read and listen to; take control of what children learn in school. 

7)    Religion - Remove the belief in the God from the Government and schools 

8)    Class Warfare - Divide the people into the wealthy and the poor. This will cause more discontent and it will be easier to take from (Tax) the wealthy with the support of the poor. 


Any questions?

nmewn's picture

You've picked up on my sarcasm Jeff.

About the only way to fight it "peacefully" initially, is to withdraw from the electronic credit & payment system grid to the physical. Long term however, the only way to fight it (presuming it remains "the law" forever in this excercise) is the black market for your own labor & commerce, to avoid the wage garnishment coming.

syntaxterror's picture

Barackenstein can just decree that the IRS send you a bill. That motherfucker can do as he pleases. 

Soul Glow's picture

Good thing I don't pay income taxes.

Platinum's picture

The excuses read like a creative writing exercises for common core.

TBT or not TBT's picture

This sucker's goin' down.

Soul Glow's picture

I wonder if Bush expected head after he said that.

jeff montanye's picture

likely the landlord of building 7 did.

syntaxterror's picture

Somehow, you know this piece of shit and his free shit army will be the big winners in the mid-term elections. You just fucking know it.

Soul Glow's picture

The house of cards is about to fall.  I expect markets to continue to reel.  They can paper this bitch all they want.  Paper doesn't float for long.

nmewn's picture

Gruppenfuhrer Kathleen Sebelius shall decide.

Bonus question: How many times in the text of this inane "law" is the phrase "The Secretary shall..."...used?

Everyone is aware that bureaucrats (like Sebelius) are unelected and thus can only be removed by thier boss, right?

Soul Glow's picture

To add, everyone is aware that we are Obama's boss, right?  

We are the bosses of politicians.

Long pitchforks bitchez.

lead salad's picture

You would expect the pitchforks to have come out already......to many people in the free shit army while us serfs work to pay for their free shit and squeek by trying to feed our families.....

nmewn's picture

Yes, sometimes the only recourse from tyranny.

"The political liberty of the subject is a tranquillity of mind, arising from the opinion each person has of his safety. In order to have this liberty, it is requisite the government be so constituted as one man need not be afraid of`another.

When the legislative and executive powers are united in the same person, or in the same body of magistrates, there can be no liberty; because apprehensions may anse, lest the same monarch or senate should enact tyrannical laws, to execute them in a tyrannical manner.

Again, there is no liberty, if the power of judging be not separated from the legislative and executive powers. Were it joined with the legislative, the life and liberty of the subject would be exposed to arbitrary control, for the judge would then be the legislator. Were it joined to the executive power, the judge might behave with all the violence of an oppressor.

There would be an end of every thing were the same man, or the same body, whether of the nobles or of the people to exercise those three powers that of enacting laws, that of executing the public resolutions, and that of judging the crimes or differences of individuals." - Montesquieu