"We Are From The Government And We Are Here To Offer You A No Risk, Guaranteed Return Investment Product"

Tyler Durden's picture

And just like that, the MyRA propaganda goes full Goebbels retard. Unfortunately, due to time differences, neither Pravda, nor Izvestia or Moskovskij Komsomolets could reply with affirmative comments due to time constraints.

From the US Treasury:

A Look At What They’re Saying About myRA Across the Country


By: Brandi Hoffine

Last month in the State of the Union, President Obama laid out specific executive actions he will take to put more Americans back to work and expand opportunity so that every American can get ahead. Speaking about the importance of securing a dignified retirement, the President announced that he would direct Treasury to create a new way for working Americans to start their own retirement savings.  According to independent estimates, about half of all workers and 75 percent of part-time workers lack access to employer-sponsored retirement plans. That is why the Obama administration designed myRA (my Retirement Account) -  a simple, safe, and affordable retirement savings account that will be offered through employers to help low- and moderate- income Americans begin to save for retirement.


Below is a look at what newspaper editorial boards and financial columnists across the country are saying.

Source: US Treasury

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Aquarius's picture

And, I am selling bridges.

Ho hum

LetThemEatRand's picture

I understand that bankers and bridges are a good match, so kudos.  Sell a bunch.  I'm thinking about a nail gun franchise myself.

ShrNfr's picture

You hit that one on the head.

max2205's picture

Wait till the next crisis and the Treasury 'borrows' UrIRA

And never gives it back except a nice IOU on a piece of paper

boogerbently's picture

Isn't that what Fonestar is promoting with bitcoin, URCurrency ?

At least with MYra, only the morons that voted him in will be dumb enough to risk their $$$ in it.

0b1knob's picture

Before MyRA gets started doen't congress have to pass a law or something?   Or does Choomboy just executive action it into being?

dryam's picture

This reminds me of the SNL skit on how to save money.....


NoDebt's picture

I would invest my money with Fonestar before I'd willingly participate in an Obama investment program.

Yeah, it's that bad.

0b1knob's picture

Didn't the NAZIs have a savings plan that allowed people to purchase one of the new Hitler cars (later named Volkswagons) by saving a small amount each month?

Instead of a car they all got sent to Stalingrad instead.

Thought Processor's picture



And............  it's GONE!




Has to be the best South Park clip ever.

BigJim's picture

 Last month in the State of the Union, President Obama laid out specific executive actions he will take to put more Americans back to work and expand opportunity so that every American can get ahead.

Lulz. How does every American 'get ahead'?

Soul Glow's picture

Is myRA an annuity?  I can't think of another way to get "guranteed returns".

TruthInSunshine's picture

Never loan your retirement money to a broke dick fuck.

kralizec's picture

How about never giving anybody your retirement money, broke dick fuck or not?!

Canoe Driver's picture

The asstards are saying that treasury paper has "guaranteed" returns, i.e. interest payments. Of course, they are not mentioning risk to principal.

StychoKiller's picture

That would require moar "truthiness" than the Obamatron is capable of!

divide_by_zero's picture

I'm pretty sure that Obama and Co being the blood sucking parasites they are, would structure this much like a public employee defined benefit plan and the taxpayer would have to make up any shortfalls.

johnQpublic's picture

cant you guys twitter bomb this to death?


i dont twit tweet or twat(except on saturdays if the wifes up for it)

fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

+100 beer came out of my nose on that one. Thanks

A Nanny Moose's picture

Clearly demonstrating the lesser of two evils fallacy.

Thought Processor's picture



"We're with the Government and we're here to help"


Be afraid.   Be very afraid.

kchrisc's picture

"We're with the government, and we're here to help...ourselves to more of your shit, and your children of gun-toting age."

"I'm with the guillotine, and we're here to help."

lordylord's picture

"If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life."  -HDT

XitSam's picture

Is the government allowed to compete with private businesses like JPMorgan?

What am I saying? They're the same!

Exponere Mendaces's picture


Listen, asshole.

MrRA is going to be a complete shit-show.

At least Bitcoin has actual YIELD, which the MyRA fucking turd can't even promise.

You really splitting hairs to make a point against bitcoin?

Fuck man, you work for the squid?

Buck Johnson's picture

Thats funny and true, people have to see that the end game is near and that the govt. is becoming desparate.

logicalman's picture

Hopefully they don't know where the boat went down.

Chuck Walla's picture

Bernays needs to be dug up, shot, and buried again.


jimmytorpedo's picture

Is downvoting the same as groaning for a bad pun?

andrewp111's picture

Make sure your franchise sells the guns for those big hardened 1/2" dia concrete penetrating nails. You don't want someone to have to take 8 of them to commit suicide, do you?

LetThemEatRand's picture

I see some actual advantage to penny nails.  Irony at its best.

knukles's picture

"No more $400 penny nails under my Administration!"

Both Houses rise in unison, cheering, clapping, shouting, dancing in the aisles, screaming and spittle flying uncontrollably. 
The very same evening, a bi-partisan bill is introduced to eliminate government purchases of nails of lesser value than $400, called the Next Absolutely Inane Legislation ("NAILS") enthusiastically supported by the American Fastener and Repair Association.

Jump you fuckers.

Pareto's picture

+1 I'll get long to that!

frankthomaswhite59's picture

where are you brain?  




Wahooo's picture

Did Banzai do that poster?

booboo's picture

"I am opening one up with ten bucks!! I want my FEMA commissary fund pre loaded when I get there so I don't have to rely on my parents account"

Aaron in Indianapolis

jcpicks's picture

When the time comes, good luck getting your money back.

Oh wait....it will probably be just paper by then.

Mr. Magoo's picture

Rumor is that Jon (the slime) Corzine will be in charge of the fund. If its true we already know what the end result will be

kchrisc's picture

"And it's Jon. Next customer."

jimmytorpedo's picture

My RA is a sun god.

Watch as he burns through your 'savings'.

layman_please's picture

myra(müra) in estonian means 'noise'. not sure what it signifies but seems appropriate.