Has The World Gone Mad?

Tyler Durden's picture

Presenting a few of tonight's headlines...

  • *OBAMA:`THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES IF PEOPLE STEP OVER THE LINE' (like last time with Syria?)
  • *U.S. WARNS OF POSSIBLE EXPLOSIVES HIDDEN IN SHOES: NBC NEWS (credible threat?)
  • *FACEBOOK TO BUY WHATSAPP FOR ABOUT $16B CASH AND STOCK ($50 per user!)
  • *U.S. COULDN'T REACH UKRAINIAN OFFICIALS IN FEW DAYS: OFFICIALS (can you hear me now?)
  • JAPAN JAN. IMPORTS RISE 25.0% Y/Y (Abenomics is nailing it)
  • *MADURO CALLS ON OPPOSITION LEADERS TO STOP VENEZUELA VIOLENCE (sounds like a plan)
  • *ABE: WANTS OPPORTUNITY FOR TALKS WITH CHINA, SOUTH KOREA (to divvy up the rest of Asia?)
  • *CNN LIES ABOUT VENEZUELA EVERY DAY: MADURO (no comment)
  • Vietnam Bans Import of Used Electronic Devices
  • *WILLIAMS: FED HAS REACHED `END OF THE LINE' ON JOBS THRESHOLD (that didn't last long)
  • *MADURO SAYS `IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE OR YOU'RE TOAST' (but you wanted peace?)
  • *MORIMOTO:BOJ TO CHECK RISKS, MAKE POLICY ADJUSTMENTS AS NEEDED (risk?)
  • *SUGA: EXPECTS IMPROVEMENT IN TRADE BALANCE IN FUTURE (any day now)
  • *OBAMA SAYS WILL SEEK COOPERATION WITH PUTIN ON UKRAINE (worked last time?)

Has the world gone mad?

 

And a few more that made us frown...

  • *ABE: CABINET TO MAKE DECISION ON REINTERPRETING CONSTITUTION (sounds like it's catching?)
  • CHINA PBOC TO SELL 60B YUAN OF 14-DAY REPOS: TRADER (how's that tightening going?)
  • WILLIAMS SAYS RATE GUIDANCE MANY YEARS IN ADVANCE `NOT HELPFUL' (as long as IMF's Greek 2022 GDP forecast still stands)
  • MADURO SAYS ECONOMY HAS TOO MUCH LIQUIDITY (just perplexed)
  • HOCKEY SAYS G-20 SHOULDN'T TALK IN GENERALITIES ABOUT GROWTH (What else is there?)
  • BULLARD SAYS WEATHER HASN’T LOWERED HIS ECONOMIC OUTLOOK (sigh)
  • *MCLAREN SAYS IT'S DEVELOPING ENTRY-LEVEL SPORTS CAR (makes perfect sense)
  • *PHILIPPINES FILES CASE VS IMPORTERS WHO BROUGHT IN CANADA TRASH (who else is gonna do it for minimum wage?)
  • *SUGA SAYS ABENOMICS DOES NOT HAVE A MILITARY PURPOSE (so why bring it up?)

 

And perhaps our favorite of the night:

NHK's Naoki Hyakuta admits to Asahi that he "went too far" in describing some Tokyo Gov candidates as "human scum."

 

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Richard Chesler's picture

MADURO SAYS IF YOU LIKE YOUR CIVIL WAR YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CIVIL WAR.

NuckingFuts's picture

I guess I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

TeamDepends's picture

Well boys, we've got three engines out, we've got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio's gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower, why we'd need sleighbells on this thing...but we've got one budge on those Ruskies - at this height, why they might harpoon us, but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen! - Major T.J. King Kong

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

If the world is going mad, then perhaps my wife won't notice if I buy some more gold and ammo.  Looks like you can't be too careful.

Oro y municionez, pezez!

dryam's picture

Invest in alcohol......physical, as in drinkable.

The Gooch's picture

New start up:

Bitbourbon!

Get in on the virtual ground floor of this revolutionary distillery!

 

 

 

Skateboarder's picture

Is BiTequila only mined in Mexico?

TeamDepends's picture

I don't usually mine tequila in Mexico, but when I do, I have no recollection of the next 36 hours.

IridiumRebel's picture

Stay Bursty!
Try the Bit-tini.

KickIce's picture

I'll start bitAAA for when they tank.

A Nanny Moose's picture

The oldest currencies are the bestest currencies. BiTobacco. BitBytchez.

Bytchez.

Colonel Klink's picture

Queue the inane comment of FoneBar!

Anusocracy's picture

Civilization occurs when enough people are civilized. That's not happening.

udecker's picture

Civilization occurs when enough people are civil.

 

People can't be "civilized."  We have to get there on our own.

SilverRhino's picture

When enough barbarians are made examples of, people will act civilly.   This eventually civilized them. 

Nobody For President's picture

You know, I do invest in it a lot, but it's  commodity, you know?

And it is a really useful commodity, and it keeps, like, disappearing.

I don't know where the hell it goes.

Maybe the cleaning lady.

Doña K's picture

<<<<*MCLAREN SAYS IT'S DEVELOPING ENTRY-LEVEL SPORTS CAR (makes perfect sense)>>

The explanation of the record sales of high end cars is simple. The world is about to go FUBAR, so might as well drive the best on credit

TheRideNeverEnds's picture

and apparently nat gas, its going up 5-10% per day, shits bannanas. 

MedTechEntrepreneur's picture

Roger that Houston...Go ahead with Throttle Up....

Blues Traveler's picture

Honrable mention: Goldman owns commodity firm that sales enriched uranium

economics9698's picture

Smoke some oregano. Sniff some gas. 

NuckingFuts's picture

And that's just to make me feel normal so I can get out of bed.

DaveyJones's picture

that's the problem, I keep sniffing around but nothing seems to stick

Cattender's picture

i guess i picked the wrong week to stop doing coke!

ACP's picture

And don't forget, every single day another cop murders someone in cold blood:

http://dailycaller.com/2014/02/19/horror-cop-instantly-shoots-kills-teen...

 

El Vaquero's picture

And it's only going to get worse.  Look at the shit I have to deal with:

 

As the New Mexico State Police and the Albuquerque Police Department have come under scrutiny in recent months for a rash of officer-involved shootings, the man who sets the tone for training police recruits in the state has instituted a curriculum that puts less restraint on officers in deciding when to use deadly force.

“Evil has come to the state of New Mexico, evil has come to the Southwest, evil has come to the United States,” said Jack Jones, director of the Law Enforcement Academy, when asked about the new approach.

...

Since September, Jones has shortened the cadet training from 22 weeks to 16 weeks, instituted a physical-fitness entrance exam that is the same for men and women and applicants of all ages, and added more training exercises, including live-fire vehicle stops. These changes were necessary to prepare new police officers to work in a more dangerous world, he said.

...

The New Mexican filed a request under the Inspection of Public Records Act for a copy the academy’s new curriculum, but Jones said he doesn’t plan to release it because criminals could use the tactics taught to cadets against them.

“I’ll burn them before you get them,” he told The New Mexican.

http://www.santafenewmexican.com/news/local_news/police-academy-director...

 

Fuck you, Jones.  Fuck you right to hell.  Hand over the fucking records you stupid fuck.  It is your duty to under the law, you stupid cunt.  All that this is going to do is lead to people shooting your beloved badge wearing cocksuckers in SELF DEFENSE.  This evil that you speak of wears badges. 

 

I hope the SF New Mexican files a petition for a writ of mandamus, as well as injunctive relief preventing cocksucker Jones from burning the records, and wins.  And if he burns the shit anyway, I hope the judge throws his ass in the clank.  Cocksucker. 

ACP's picture

Lack of training has been a problem for a while. The federal police on military installations only require 30 days of training for prior service applicants.

But yes, it's only going to get worse.

Edit: Anyone notice a pattern here? Regular citizens require more sensivity training and fucking socialist bullshit, while the jack-booted thugs that keep "order" are getting basically battlefield training for US streets.

El Vaquero's picture

Yes, I notice that pattern.  When SHTF, wearing a police uniform is going to be a very, very stupid thing to do in NM.  However, it does seem that there is growing awareness within the sheep now.  Look at the guy in Texas who killed that cop who was on a no knock raid in his house that the grand jury no-billed on capital murder.  You can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, yet they still no-billed him on that.  The days of being a fucking storm trooper are going to come to an end for cops.   

Pandorable's picture

I hope you guys will throw your uniforms away and unite with your communities against this evil.

eddiebe's picture

That's a nice dream you are having.

BeansMcGreens's picture

A pattern here in North Carolina is that almost every community college has it's "public safety training" courses. Go to the college campus at any time and see dozens of future officers in their little black outfits waddling around taking up space.

 

 

Boondocker's picture

I hear you.  25% of our local cops are being investigated by the DA...

kchrisc's picture

Dear gun and badge thugs,

You will be held responsible for your aggressions against the American people. Article 3, section 3 of the Constitution demands it and Nuremberg Principle IV:

Principle IV states: "The fact that a person acted pursuant to order of his Government or of a superior does not relieve him from responsibility under international law, provided a moral choice was in fact possible to him".

This principle could be paraphrased as follows: "It is not an acceptable excuse to say 'I was just following my superior's orders'".

Sincerely,

Dr. Bladelove: Or How I Learned to Standup and Love the Guillotine

A Nanny Moose's picture

If I were in charge, it would be 24x7 audio and video surveillance on all those employed by government, including but definitely not limited to, Congress Critters, POTUS, SCOTUS, Janitors, police, sheriff, DA, Mayor, and gardeners.

As a bonus, all would also be subject to random body cavity searches...until morale improves.

Who's with me?

 

KickIce's picture

We already have the NSA, but they use their information for blackmail and extortion rather than whistleblower for public.

Skateboarder's picture

That's just plain fucked up. I know she'll walk, but I hope the guillotines will get her.

Ident 7777 economy's picture

 

 

The 'Peace Prize' President talking smack about 'crossing the line'?

 

Rich!

 

 

Pooper Popper's picture

That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane, and Lenny Bruce is not afraid

Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs, don't misserve your own needs
Feed it up a knock, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter with a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the Furies breathing down your neck

Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh-oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

Rockatanski's picture

Government for hire.  No shit huh?

HedgeAccordingly's picture

$19billion for a Sexting application is MAD - – –  http://hedge.ly/NbXELZ

monkeyshine's picture

WTF is whatsapp?  Almost as big a valuation as NFLX and I never heard of it.  Shit i'm definitely in the wrong fucking business.