Has The World Gone Mad?

Tyler Durden's picture

Presenting a few of tonight's headlines...

  • *OBAMA:`THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES IF PEOPLE STEP OVER THE LINE' (like last time with Syria?)
  • *U.S. WARNS OF POSSIBLE EXPLOSIVES HIDDEN IN SHOES: NBC NEWS (credible threat?)
  • *FACEBOOK TO BUY WHATSAPP FOR ABOUT $16B CASH AND STOCK ($50 per user!)
  • *U.S. COULDN'T REACH UKRAINIAN OFFICIALS IN FEW DAYS: OFFICIALS (can you hear me now?)
  • JAPAN JAN. IMPORTS RISE 25.0% Y/Y (Abenomics is nailing it)
  • *MADURO CALLS ON OPPOSITION LEADERS TO STOP VENEZUELA VIOLENCE (sounds like a plan)
  • *ABE: WANTS OPPORTUNITY FOR TALKS WITH CHINA, SOUTH KOREA (to divvy up the rest of Asia?)
  • *CNN LIES ABOUT VENEZUELA EVERY DAY: MADURO (no comment)
  • Vietnam Bans Import of Used Electronic Devices
  • *WILLIAMS: FED HAS REACHED `END OF THE LINE' ON JOBS THRESHOLD (that didn't last long)
  • *MADURO SAYS `IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE OR YOU'RE TOAST' (but you wanted peace?)
  • *MORIMOTO:BOJ TO CHECK RISKS, MAKE POLICY ADJUSTMENTS AS NEEDED (risk?)
  • *SUGA: EXPECTS IMPROVEMENT IN TRADE BALANCE IN FUTURE (any day now)
  • *OBAMA SAYS WILL SEEK COOPERATION WITH PUTIN ON UKRAINE (worked last time?)

Has the world gone mad?

 

And a few more that made us frown...

  • *ABE: CABINET TO MAKE DECISION ON REINTERPRETING CONSTITUTION (sounds like it's catching?)
  • CHINA PBOC TO SELL 60B YUAN OF 14-DAY REPOS: TRADER (how's that tightening going?)
  • WILLIAMS SAYS RATE GUIDANCE MANY YEARS IN ADVANCE `NOT HELPFUL' (as long as IMF's Greek 2022 GDP forecast still stands)
  • MADURO SAYS ECONOMY HAS TOO MUCH LIQUIDITY (just perplexed)
  • HOCKEY SAYS G-20 SHOULDN'T TALK IN GENERALITIES ABOUT GROWTH (What else is there?)
  • BULLARD SAYS WEATHER HASN’T LOWERED HIS ECONOMIC OUTLOOK (sigh)
  • *MCLAREN SAYS IT'S DEVELOPING ENTRY-LEVEL SPORTS CAR (makes perfect sense)
  • *PHILIPPINES FILES CASE VS IMPORTERS WHO BROUGHT IN CANADA TRASH (who else is gonna do it for minimum wage?)
  • *SUGA SAYS ABENOMICS DOES NOT HAVE A MILITARY PURPOSE (so why bring it up?)

 

And perhaps our favorite of the night:

NHK's Naoki Hyakuta admits to Asahi that he "went too far" in describing some Tokyo Gov candidates as "human scum."