This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

The Number Of Days In Which JPM Lost Money In All Of 2013 Is...

Tyler Durden's picture









Well, what did you expect.

However, there's more.

First, the reason why the familiar histogram showing the trading days profits (we would say losses but TBTFs don't lose money in the New Normal) such as the one seen here is no longer present, is because JPM has decided to no longer show it as of this quarter.

Prior to the fourth quarter of 2013, the Firm disclosed a histogram which presented the results of daily backtesting against its daily market risk-related gains and losses for positions included in the Firm’s Risk Management VaR calculation. Under this previous presentation, the market risk related revenue was defined as the change in value of: principal transactions revenue for CIB, and Treasury and CIO; trading-related net interest income for CIB, Treasury and CIO, and Mortgage Production and Mortgage Servicing in CCB; CIB brokerage commissions, underwriting fees or  other revenue; revenue from syndicated lending facilities that the Firm intends to distribute; mortgage fees and related income for the Firm’s mortgage pipeline and warehouse loans, MSRs, and all related hedges; and market-risk related revenue from Asset Management hedges; gains and losses from DVA were excluded.

If JPM had used this old methodology, JPM would have shown the following: "Under this prior measure there were no VaR band breaks nor any trading loss days for the year ended December 31, 2013."

Needless to say, this has never happened before.

So what's wrong with no trading losses: after all a bank works mostly on a flow basis, right, so the customers take on principal risk, right? Wrong.

We already know for a fact that JPM's primary business model until the beaching of the London Whale was abusing excess deposits and using them precisely as prop trading capital. However, for the best picture of the firm's Old Normal trading day win/loss distribution, we go back to JPM's trading day histogram for 2008. This is what it should look like.


Perhaps it is out of shame that JPM did not want to disclose the fact that based on an apples to apples methodology the firm no longer loses money. Any money. Ever. So what did JPM do? Why it introduced oranges of course. From the just released 10-K:

Effective during the fourth quarter of 2013, the Firm revised its definition of market risk-related gains and losses to be consistent with the definition used by the banking regulators under Basel 2.5. Under this definition market risk-related gains and losses are defined as: profits and losses on the Firm’s Risk Management positions, excluding fees, commissions, fair value adjustments, net interest income, and gains and losses arising from intraday trading. The following chart compares the daily market risk-related gains and losses on the Firm’s Risk Management positions for the year ended December 31, 2013, under the revised definition. As the chart presents market risk-related gains and losses related to those positions included in the Firm’s Risk Management VaR, the results in the table below differ from the results of backtesting disclosed in the Firm’s Basel 2.5 report, which are based on Regulatory VaR. The chart shows that for the year ended December 31, 2013, the Firm observed two VaR band breaks and posted gains on 177 of the 260 days in this period.


In other words when one excludes such trivial things as "f,ees, commissions, fair value adjustments, net interest income, and gains and losses arising from intraday trading" and why one would exclude gains and losses from intraday trading when the bulk of JPM's revenue comes precisely from this is beyond us, JPM did in fact lose money. It just didn't lose money when everything is included.

And that, among all the other well-known reasons, is why Jamie Dimon is once again richer than you.


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:25 | 4456783 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

they will steal until there is nothing left.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:33 | 4456807 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Maybe those JPMorganites who got 'suicided' have a clue as to why that is the we wouldnt want Jamie to have his trade secrets spilled out to the rest of the street now would we?


We know what we happen in 2014 also

No. of trading day losses = 0

No. of JPM suicides > 5

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:36 | 4456830 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



You don't lose money when the NSA is your employee....umm....I mean partner.


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:37 | 4456845 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:53 | 4456909 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

cue the solicitation phone calls.....

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:56 | 4456926 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture


Oh wait...


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:00 | 4456935 jayman21
jayman21's picture

oldie but a goodie

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:07 | 4456966 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

they are so arrogant

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:15 | 4457007 Mr. Chairwoman
Mr. Chairwoman's picture

Further proof that forward guidance and unusual accomodation is working.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:23 | 4457043 Hard1
Hard1's picture

The model of banks is simple.  They are selling a hug out of the money option on a taxpayer bailout.  So they win a a little win a little...and then one day boom.  lose a lot!.  

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:43 | 4457119 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture
"The Number Of Days In Which JPM Lost Employees Without Parachutes And Nail-Gun Protective Armor In All Of 2014 Is..."


7 - and counting.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:51 | 4457417 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Welcome to the Mourgue, where trading losses hide behind dead bodies.  Where Corzine, a former State Governor and Senator does exactly as he is told.  Where the CEO lies to Congress wearing White House cufflinks.  Where gold is endlessly manipulated by fake reserves that are suppossed to sit at the FRBNY.

Isn't it fun to run the world of finance?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:15 | 4457887 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"Hey! We're not a State sanctioned criminal organization!...We're just really, really fuckin' good at what we do, punk....uh, and we work really REALLY hard!!"

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 01:38 | 4460942 The Vineyard
The Vineyard's picture

We are looking at endless deflation and eternal recession.  So what's a boy to do?  Bastards.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:46 | 4457124 remain calm
remain calm's picture

They have real smart people working there. Jamie Diamond is the best, hard to disagree with Warren, ie, he is under paid. FU old man, you are goingto hell. God won't buy the folky bullshit gig that CNBC swollows.


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:02 | 4457207 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Be of good cheer, my friends.

One of the verities of this galaxy, is that the ferengi always overplay their hands.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:11 | 4457256 Indian_Goldsmith
Indian_Goldsmith's picture

i think i'm getting stockholmy..... I LOVE YOU JAMIE DIMON!!!!!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:53 | 4457440 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

The mining sector is up big today after getting slapped around yesterday for no reason at all.  My guess is JPM had to short some form of gold yesterday, and the bullion market is too tight to do so right now.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 05:03 | 4461129 Bunders
Bunders's picture

William Banzai eat yer heart out

Buffets Friendly Robot Corp

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:17 | 4457017 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

question....if jpm, gs, boaml, et.als never have a losing day, who does?..hedgies, calpers, cities,??

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:21 | 4457035 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

yo bro....its everyone else but mostly the pension funds and tax payers and the future sheep generations.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:29 | 4457082 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

The square root of minus 1

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:58 | 4457190 centerline
centerline's picture

Not a problem.  Government has been dealing with imaginary numbers for decades!  lol.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:06 | 4457506 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Any investor too small to manipulate the market..

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:39 | 4457381 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:55 | 4457449 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Where is Jesus when you need him.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 03:40 | 4461079 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

He's there - but we're here for a reason too.  We've got to do our part.  "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"  Edmund Burke

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:58 | 4457774 skwid vacuous
skwid vacuous's picture

Days on which JPM traders and bankers lost a sliver of their souls = 365

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:38 | 4456850 Clint Liquor
Clint Liquor's picture

It is good to be the Crony-Capitalist, yes?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:53 | 4456915 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

Funny how James' bloomstein bio does not list his tenure at the NY Fed.


Fuck you James !

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 13:03 | 4462232 screw face
screw face's picture

MOAR's Quantum.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:31 | 4456809 spankthebernank
spankthebernank's picture

or until their legal and/or derivatives exposure ends the firm overnight.  This will be the firm that ends the system as we know it.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:21 | 4457919 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Like they'll care, drifting blissfully down to Earth in their multi-million $ golden parachutes...
Meanwhile, TSA,NSA. CIA, et al. continue to scan the skies for the Al Quaidan Air Force...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:48 | 4456891 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

It's actually a good thing that they never lose money, because the minute they lose for a day or 2, Oblowhard will greenlight the outright confiscation of savings to offset the losses.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 08:43 | 4461329 G_T_A_44
G_T_A_44's picture

"Oblowhard will greenlight the outright confiscation of savings to offset the losses."

That's coming regardless~

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 04:33 | 4461112 JailBanksters
JailBanksters's picture

JPM could in theory buy every blade of grass, every house, every corporation, every country,every government on the Planet. Your prob'ly thinkin' that's impossible there isn't enough money in existance, true but they just create it and pay it back at pfft % interest per year. Butt, once you own everything in the World, there is nobody to steal from, so they just want to control by shareholder owning less than 50% so they have suckers wealth to steal from. As long as you can control a company, that's all they need.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:26 | 4456786 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:31 | 4457089 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

correct.   like their pals, Government Electric, they may actually go beyond zero (taxes paid, in GE's case) and get REFUNDS.



Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:26 | 4456787 XAU XAG
XAU XAG's picture



As in "o" Bama

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:43 | 4456875 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

So why are they killing themselves?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:49 | 4456893 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



They're klutzes. Have you ever tried to use a nail gun?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:14 | 4457002 BandGap
BandGap's picture

I have used a nail gun many times. A friend of mine is so good he can kill a woodchuck at 30'. They're semi-automatic, BTW.

If people understood what killing yourself with a nail gun entails, well, JPM had zero losing days last year.

Next up these suicidal bankers will be killing themselves by sawing themselves in half with serrated bread knives.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:30 | 4457087 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

It'll be suicide by tying himself to a chair, stabbing himself in the back 37 times, then throwing himself off his balcony--twice.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:38 | 4457109 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

We'll have to start calling it 'Houdinicide'...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:18 | 4457287 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Believe it..., or NOT

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:18 | 4457289 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Believe it..., or NOT

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:53 | 4456907 mess nonster
mess nonster's picture

Otherwise referred to by one avid Zerohedge reader as the "subhuman mongrel".

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:12 | 4456992 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



No's just Uncle Ted.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:13 | 4457267 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

I think Uncle Ted needs to lay off the sauce before his next interview.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:27 | 4456791 max2205
max2205's picture

losses in off balance sheet...perfect enon

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:27 | 4456792 Zero_Sum
Zero_Sum's picture

That was last year. Change is in the wind...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:28 | 4456795 Iocosus
Iocosus's picture

I bet the amount is less than JPM bankers who leapt from buildings.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:28 | 4456798 geotrader
geotrader's picture

It's cool being able to make the rules up as you go along.  

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:04 | 4456957 Rainman
Rainman's picture

yah,,,worldwide corporate accounting rules are being broken more frequently than the Ten Commandments 

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:12 | 4457264 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I was working in an accounting firm at the time mark-to-market was 'temporarily suspended'.  I was losing my mind, talking to the vets, each of whom treated it like nothing.  Whats the big deal?  That seemed to be their attitude.  My attitude was: "Right, who cares about accounting standards".

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:33 | 4457359 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

I junked you because you cared! Welcome to the New Normal, ZH edition!

(Which pill am I supposed to take? Red or Blue? Fuck it, I'm downing both!)

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:29 | 4457973 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Obviously, you're not a sociopath. +1 for you.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:17 | 4457022 BandGap
BandGap's picture

As long as it's your football.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:38 | 4457110 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Like 'primates porking a pigskin'!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:29 | 4456800 Dineroguru
Dineroguru's picture

This just reflects the great risk management of JPM and the fortress balance sheet....that's why the banksters there are regularly jumping off the roof-- because they are soooo happyyyy!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:32 | 4456804 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Whisper rumor is 3 employees lost money for JPM last year but JPM more than recouped it on their "dead peasant" insurance policy proceeds.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:31 | 4456811 ak_khanna
ak_khanna's picture

JPM is the biggest operator in all the stock, currency, commodity and bond casinos and the house always wins. Using the free gift of billions of dollars every month from their buddy FED and sophisticated softwares or algos the operators  make the markets rise till all short positions in the market are covered and the majority of traders move to the long side. Once this is done the market is allowed to fall till all long positions are closed and short positions undertaken. Then rinse and repeat. The price mechanism in the electronic exchanges around the world has little to do with the actual demand, supply, fundamentals or state of the economy.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:37 | 4458026 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Yep, they have so corrupted the entire system, with bribes and politican buy offs, that they can do anything they want. They have engineered the system to prevent another Lehman. We live in a centrally planned economy... planned by the Central Banks and their banking partners. You have to be extremely nimble in this environment if you choose to play. Just like a good mafia boss, the takedowns are all planned. It's the sociopath way. Rinse & Repeat is dead on right. 

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:32 | 4456815 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I'm sure not a smidgen of corruption!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:34 | 4456824 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

Let's drink some whine & celebrate!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:38 | 4456841 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Sure I'll buy you a little manischewitz and you can toast with Jan Koum from Whatsapp.  The founder who just went from food stamps to billionaire courtesy of SuckerBERG.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:43 | 4456871 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

Yubby dibby dibby

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:00 | 4456942 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Thanks for the chuckle but I couldn't make it even a minute of watching before I wanted to set the barn on fire.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:14 | 4456987 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

Yabba dabba doo [but I am Rock Quarry]!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:18 | 4456988 HyBrasilian
HyBrasilian's picture

You stupid good lookings! I'm too important to be captured!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:33 | 4456822 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Big surprise. The Mor-goon bastard shites all need to jump off the highest building....the fuckers.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:43 | 4456838 Randoom Thought
Randoom Thought's picture

I guess, being able to control price helps just a touch. Now that price is all computerized and they and their cronies write the programs we would have to be idiots to think that they could not make money every day. OK, so what have they proven?

a) they can create a false market with many false trails of ownership (Cede and Company owns stock shares and we are beneficiaries to the shares, like the MERS model. Bondholders are more powerful than shareholders. Voting rights vary.)

b) they can absolutely and monopolistically control price within that market

c) like "carnies" they can deceive people to believe that the game is not rigged and people have a chance ... but really only when putting ones money through an insider.

d) they can do it all without repercussions because those who control the issuance of money care not who write the laws

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:38 | 4456854 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

I understand too big to fail means to big to jail/prosecute, but you would think these fuckers would feel a need to at least pretend to occasionally lose, and thus keep the illusion alive that the market isn't totally rigged. But, I guess the muppets never learn.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:42 | 4458049 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Learn what a sociopath is. In their twisted minds, sociopaths can NEVER lose. What you are suggesting is against their very DNA. It will never happen. They will violate any law, and sacrifise anyone... coworker, friend, relative, even their own family members just to win.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:47 | 4456889 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

Steal with excessive risk taking when things are good, taxpayer bailouts when it is THAT is a business model...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:55 | 4456920 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

FrontRunning,Insidetrading,UHFT Algos,.....Rigged Casino

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:56 | 4456923 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Courrption is now a way of life in the former USA and interestingly enough, we have the Jewsih banking cartel at the helm yet again.  What a disgusting group of crap!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 09:59 | 4456934 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

This is why Jamie is "richer than you". 

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:02 | 4456947 cwwang
cwwang's picture

Did you see the latest LinkedIn ad with quoting Bill Gates saying:

"There will almost be no poor countries by 2035." -- Bill Gates

I guess with JPM's help.  No one will be poor because they trade to win!

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:10 | 4456981 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture



Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:16 | 4457014 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I see that you have been to the Georgia Guidestones.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:02 | 4456950 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

And before you think for one second it might be possible JPM is just that much better at predicting and trading markets than the rest of us, consider this: If I were granted zero trading loss capability, I would be making a $trillion per year compared of the measly billions JPM rakes in.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:06 | 4456965 fijisailor
fijisailor's picture

You forgot the token fines for insider trading.  Deduct $20 billion to pay off .gov stooges.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:03 | 4456955 LaurentDeLyon
LaurentDeLyon's picture

a lesson about 'how to baffle with bulshits' ? JPM +1 / rest of the world (excluding other banks) 0

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:09 | 4456978 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

"abusing excess deposits"....  Eliminate the excess deposits, abuse the Bankers.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:16 | 4456996 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

JPM ZERO Trading loses for the year should be on every headline or front page everywhere... Its miraculous, spread the news. Who needs GS doing Gods work now?

Lets Have J.D. on with Kudlow to explain this good fortune, maybe share some mothers milk on air.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:09 | 4456975 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture


        JumPer Morgan


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:15 | 4456979 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

"fair value adjustments"- wow! I'll bet they get creative with that! After all, a banker is nothing but fair, right?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:15 | 4456999 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

And there is absolutely no one with a vested interest to stop them. The other banks have all simply colluded/attuned to their trading patterns, the politicians have been paid, the government gets their "litigation settlements" every quarter, Cramer and crew's job depends on the illusion.

All you have is some lonely short sellers screaming this doesn't make sense!

2008 really scared the piss out of the elites. For a moment they almost lost control and now they are determined to not let it happen again, even if it means controlling/rigging every market. We are down the rabbit hole

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:17 | 4457020 unplugged
unplugged's picture

There is absolutely no one above them to stop them.  They own the govt.  They own, or at a minimum collaborate as piers with, the CIA, FBI, NSA, DHS. 


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:49 | 4457142 PrawnStar
PrawnStar's picture

Can you please clarify why you think the banksters own/collaborate with the intel agencies? I get that they have inordinate political influence (and economic, through their Fed connections), but my guess is that they couldn't care less about anything other than creative rule-bending to make ever more loot.

EDIT: btw, I also bet that if the time comes when it's politically expedient, any "bought" politican would gladly throw any bankster under the bus. The problem is that to date, there's been no national political will in that direction.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:04 | 4457217 centerline
centerline's picture

At some point thier interests will diverge.  That is when it gets interesting.  That is when the next act of this tragedy gets rolling.  Until then, it is business as usual.  Rape, pillage, etc.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:14 | 4457535 unplugged
unplugged's picture

of course not all - but enough of them to pull off 911, etc

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:55 | 4458145 SDShack
SDShack's picture

NDX and Unplugged are right. If you truly believe that a bought politician will sacrifise a banker, then I have one name for you... John Corzine. If ever a banker needed to be jailed, it's Corzine. Trial? No. Indictment? No. Hell, he wasn't even really investigated. The bankers OWN the govt. As to the security apparatus, what do you think would happen if the masses rose up against wallstreet like the civil rights marches of the 60's? The govt would send in troops immediately to stop it. Why else is the govt stockpilling billions of rounds of ammo at DHS. The last thing the govt would do is listen to the masses and reform wallstreet.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 01:26 | 4460919 PrawnStar
PrawnStar's picture

We're talking about America here. There is a broad category of professions which one could characterize as the "throw-anybody-under-the-bus-for-personal-gain" professions. From the ongoing discourse, I must assume that many politicians inhabit this group; so do many of the bankster/finance types so focused on demonstrating increases this quarter or year, and so richly rewarded into their new lifestyles that they don't speak the same language as you or me. Is there a conspiracy? No. Have the "throw-anybody-under-the-bus" types increased their power? Yes.

But If America had cried out for Corzine's head, Bill Clinton himself would have issued a statement demanding his head. These guys have no allegiance to each other. Although it may yet get there, "the govt" as you put it is not a single entity. It's still made up of a whole bunch of self-serving individuals. Regarding DHS stockpiling rounds of ammo: I read the prisonplanet articles too. You think he doesn't have an agenda? He might be right, but damned if I believe he's purer than any of those fu(#s he's trying to disparage.

Transcend, brother, Transcend.



Fri, 02/21/2014 - 12:49 | 4462149 SDShack
SDShack's picture

So the people have to cry out for the govt to enforce the law in your world. You mean our elected officials don't represent our interests? You mean our elected officials have such low character and ethics, that the people have to demand they comply with the basics of civil society? I thought this was a democratic republic based on the rule of law? Silly me. You just admitted the people are sheep and have to bleet to get what they want from their true masters. And how will the people cry out when the politicians and the MSM do everything to control the sheep and prevent them from massing and crying out? Why is the IRS targeting people for crying out? Why is NSA monitoring everyone for crying out? Why is the FCC trying to censor news organizations for crying out? Why are gun owners targeted for crying out? For every little fish that is made an example of (like Martha Stewart), a big fish gets protected, and even rewarded (like Corzine and Holder). With all lthis evidence, you don't think there is a conspiracy to control the sheeple.

Wake up brother, Wake up!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 05:11 | 4461132 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

Widespread truth is their Achilles Heel. Keep bleating to the sleeping sheeple. I'm going to do my part by taking out advert's on the Khardashians and write conscious lyrics for Miley Cyrus.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:24 | 4457049 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Will will "restore confidence in the system" even if we have to break every law on the cooked books.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:14 | 4457000 unplugged
unplugged's picture

CRIME PAYS - whoever taught me that crime doesn't pay I'd like to take them out and beat them !

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:21 | 4457037 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Make that Organized Government approved Crime.... This ain't no ordinary crime, Bitchez.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:36 | 4457640 Conax
Conax's picture

I was taught that hard work would see you through to success...

Until I was informed by a mid-level manager that 'washing machines work hard, and we don't pay them at all.'

No.  It is lying, cheating, ass-kissing and back-stabbing that gets you ahead. We need to stop lying to the kids.  Get busy stealing, kiss that ass, back stab that old fart over there, take his job.

Bring the boss a jug for Christmas, you'll go far.

White collar crime is cool.  The judge will understand, after he gets his grease.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:17 | 4457021 Jack of All Trades
Jack of All Trades's picture

That's why Jamie is richer than you

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:21 | 4457036 RobinHood73
RobinHood73's picture

REPO 105 Baby. Theres gotta be some mechanism these guys are employing  for them to diffuse/tranfer risk  of  accumulated mark-making positions during regular hours int osome off balance sheet entity or similar . That way the trading arm ALWAYS mathemetically wins, and the "sidepocket" then diffuses and manages the risk


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:26 | 4457063 RobinHood73
RobinHood73's picture

Someone needs to uncover what this risk transference mechanism is.... Operating under the radar is  iwhat keeps this whole charade going. Likely a whistleblowing insider

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:06 | 4457226 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Basic accounting fraud. That's it.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:27 | 4457068 dontknowcrapabo...
dontknowcrapabouteconomy's picture


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:27 | 4457072 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

The more they steal from us the less we have to give them

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:28 | 4457074 BrigstockBoy
BrigstockBoy's picture

A firm by the name of Chase
Was nothing but a disgrace
They rig and they lie
They'll wait 'till you die
Before stealing your soul, just in case

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:45 | 4457141 SumSUN
SumSUN's picture

On a long enough timeline everyone's days of loosing money drops to zero. ?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 10:48 | 4457146 pavman
pavman's picture


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:06 | 4457228 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Damn. I guessed a negative number.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:15 | 4457280 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

But were their clients void of losses?  I doubt it.  These big firms manipulate their clients, no completely take advantage of thier clients in order to prop themselves up.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:45 | 4457679 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

Hence the term "prop trading"

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:17 | 4457284 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

It's all so Enronesque...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 11:25 | 4457319 BudFox2012
BudFox2012's picture

It is simply shocking to me that the company that writes all the rules and controls everyone who enforces the rules, did not lose money any day last year... </sarc>

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:00 | 4457468 maneco
maneco's picture

All it means is that the markets are rigged and they probably front run all their clients' orders. Not even Jesse Livermore made money everyday.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 12:14 | 4457541 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

Impressive. Jamie Dimon should get a pay raise.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:09 | 4457845 Luckhasit
Luckhasit's picture

"And that, among all the other well-known reasons, is why Jamie Dimon is once again richer than you."

Heh, that is why we come to ZH.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:13 | 4457867 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture


Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:33 | 4457992 coastalwn
coastalwn's picture

from this day forward... winning is losing and losing is winning.....  see anyone can change the f cking rules... credit my account jamie...  right f cking now!!!   i start trading after lunch...

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:45 | 4458076 LordAarioc
LordAarioc's picture

They use artificial intelligence to trade and they got it from the ETS that have been helping the governemnt since Roswell. There said it.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:55 | 4458155 grekko
grekko's picture

Basel rules? Like Mark to Unicorn?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 14:14 | 4458266 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Pretty fucking good business model.

After paying fines (since NO ONE EVER GOES TO JAIL or is BANNED FROM THE INDUSTRY).

Count the profit (there will always be that!) and give bonus.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 15:50 | 4458873 robnume
robnume's picture

Doin' gods work, huh? Yes they are.

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 21:02 | 4460084 dns_di
dns_di's picture

It just didn't lose money when everything is excluded?

Thu, 02/20/2014 - 23:06 | 4460587 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Yeah but he has to murder more and more employees with each passing quarter.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 00:30 | 4460808 ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

man, even Jon Corzine is ticked off over this!

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 00:30 | 4460810 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

To say the market is rigged is an understatement. After over 30 years of trading commodities I will flat out state without any reservations that lies and manipulation run rampant. If you think anyone is looking out for the small independent trader you are wrong. An unholy alliance of the Federal Reserve, the government, and the too big to fail has left the rest of us in a precarious position. For the big boys, its insider information and computer trading, this includes computing patterns that exploit where stops are placed, this improves their ability to wash the weak out of their positions. More on this subject int he post below,

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 01:08 | 4460885 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

There is a God's nail gun joke in here somewhere.

Fri, 02/21/2014 - 01:33 | 4460935 highwaytoserfdom
highwaytoserfdom's picture
Fri, 02/21/2014 - 04:55 | 4461125 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

Clearly this is because they are geniuses. They come from a tribe that produced Einstein and the most Nobel prizes. We are all so fortunate to have them. Excuse me now I have to run down to GS and give them all my money to invest.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!